Under the Cherry Moon (1986) Script

(WATER GUSHING)

FEMALE NARRATOR: Once upon a time in France, there lived a bad boy named Christopher Tracy.

Only one thing mattered to Christopher. Money.

The women he knew came in all sizes, shapes, and colors, and they were all rich. Very rich.

Private concertos, kind words, and fun is what he had to offer them.

Yes, Christopher lived for all women, but he died for one.

Somewhere along the way, he learned the true meaning of love.

(TOASTING IN FRENCH) (PEOPLE RESPOND)

The more you drink, the better I sound. Psst!

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)


(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC ON PIANO)


(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

(INAUDIBLE)

(CONTINUES PLAYING)

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

(CONTINUES PLAYING)

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

Monsieur.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)


With the compliments of the lady in white.

(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)


(PRINCE'S "CHRISTOPHER TRACY'S PARADE" PLAYING)


(MUSIC CONTINUES)


(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHILDREN CHEERING)

(CHILDREN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

When are y'all going to get a job?

Here. I got a job. Why don't you all get a job?

It's dishonest work, but it's a living.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

Undecided? Oui.

(CHUCKLES)

Un, un, un. Okay.

What's up? Bonjour, Christopher.

Monsieur.

(COUPLE MOANING)

Mirror, mirror, 17-fold...

Who's the sexiest dressed in gold?

TRICKY: You must be talking about me, cousin.

CHRISTOPHER: Smile, Katy, you're naked.

I'll smile when you pay me the two months' rent you owe me. Hmm?

Okay, you two, don't try anything funny. Not this time, Christopher.

I want the money or I'll throw you both out onto the street.

Please, madam, look at these poor, innocent faces.

These mean streets are no place for a couple of fine, decent...

Hoodlums like us.

Please, Katy, search in your heart for some kindness.

Why don't you try searching in your wallet for some money?

(EERIE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

(GASPS)

TRICKY: That's right, cousin. Give her that Bela Lugosi look.

(MUMBLES)

Throw me onto the street, hmm?

Yeah, there.

Perhaps madame would like to conduct a search.

Hmm.

I wonder where that came from.

(CHRISTOPHER SCREAMING)

Fascist.

How much is lady in white worth?

$3 million. Got it in her divorce settlement.

I'll settle for that. We going to marry her?

Ain't it about time we go for the big macaroni?

Mmm, I like her, but I'm looking for a bigger brand of macaroni.

Take a look at this and see if it whets your appetite.

CHRISTOPHER: Mary Sharon.

Her father owns half the ships on the Mediterranean.

He's got to be worth a billion, easy.

He kicked a billion asses to get it, too.

And that says what?

That says she gets a $50 million trust fund when she turns 21.

Which is today. No.

(CHUCKLES)

Let's go. You going to marry her?

Mmm. For $50 million I would seriously consider it.

But guess what. I take 30% commission. (PHONE RINGING)

Yes?

Mary Sharon. I wonder what tune she'd dance to.

Just one moment. I'll see.

Mrs. Wellington. The lady in white.

Mrs. Wellington, he'll be right with you.

By the way, my name is Tricky.

Tricky, put the phone down.

I never dance before midnight.

But if you insist...

(GREETING IN FRENCH)

What? Right now?

I mean, here on the phone?

All right. As you wish. Hold on.

Uh-oh. Here we go. (STEPS INTO BATHTUB)

I am nothing without your touch, my love I am nothing without your kiss To spend each night in your arms, my flower Is this man's idea of bliss To not hear your voice each day Is to die seven times by God's wrath If I was anything other than human I'd want to be the water in your bath Till then, my love, ciao.

(GUFFAWING)

TRICKY: Who's your agent, man?

(PRINCE'S "DO U LIE" PLAYING)

(GUESTS APPLAUDING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SNORING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(GUESTS APPLAUDING)

Can you believe Isaac Sharon threw a party long-distance for his daughter?

And didn't even bother to come.

Quel scandale.

He's probably too busy bribing another government official.

Johnny, you can be so catty sometimes.

(SCOFFS) And I wasn't even trying.

Shall we follow the animals? Yes.

(BOYS HOOTING)

I need an old man with money.

Who needs money when you've got youth?

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SPEAKING ENGLISH)

Muriel, where is your daughter?

Oh, she'll be down in a second, hopefully.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

FRIEND 1: Atta girl, Mary. FRIEND 2: Go, Mary, go.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(GUESTS LAUGHING)

How do you like my birthday suit?

(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)

I designed it myself.

(GASPS) Mary!

(GASPING) Madame.

MARY: Mrs. Cartwright.

GUESTS: (CHANTING) Mary! Mary!

(VOCALIZING)

MARY: Hello.

How lovely to see you. (GASPS)

(LAUGHING) I'm so sorry.

All right. Let's get this party rocking!

(GUESTS CHEERING)

(GUESTS AND MARY RAPPING)

(CONTINUES RAPPING)

(ALL CHEERING)

(DRUMS BEATING)


You were incredible! Great! Amazing!

Thank you.

I'll be back for an encore just as soon as I've changed my costume.

See that guy who just came in? Keep an eye on him.

(WHISPERS) What did she say?

She said...

(CONVERSING IN FRENCH)

(GUESTS EXCLAIM) (APPLAUDING)

(GUESTS SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" IN FRENCH)

(FIREWORKS CRACKING)

(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)

Looks like it's diamond-hunting season on the Riviera.

FRIEND 2: He's already checked out every woman here twice.

MARY: What about the other one? FRIEND 1: They're a couple of real pros.

Ah. We'll see about that.

FRIEND 1: What is she doing?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Happy birthday, Mary. Thank you, Mrs. Wellington.

Happy birthday, Mary.

Mary, honey, there you are. I thought you'd never show up.

I was waiting for the guards to shoot all the party crashers before I came down.

It's nice to see you. You look very good.

Thank you.

What do they call you? Tricky.

Fits you like a glove. Just like your wonderful dress.

TRICKY: Good evening.

(TRICKY SPEAKING FRENCH)


Nice toss.

And nice party.

Yes. Pity you weren't invited.

I was in the neighborhood, and, uh... And you got lost.

And I thought this would be fun.

Thanks for the present. Awfully sweet of you.

Aw, tarot cards. Want me to read your fortune?

I bet you'd like to do a lot more than read it, buddy.

The name's Christopher, buddy.

I always thought these things were baloney.

Just tell people what they want to hear and they're happy.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Would you like to meet my mother?

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

Mommy, dear, Mrs. Wellington, I'd like you to meet my new friend, Christopher, um...

Madam. Christopher.

He's dying to tell you all about yourselves with these beautiful tarot cards you gave me, Mrs. Wellington.

Uh, do you do this professionally, Christopher?

Madam, I do nothing professionally. I only do things for fun.

(ALL LAUGHING)

MURIEL: Children, please. (CHILDREN LAUGHING)

Conga line, baby. Let's go.

(PRINCE'S "NEW POSITION" PLAYING)

Jonathan's on the phone for you.

He says it's totally boring in New York.

No new clubs, no openings, no parties.

He could've come to mine. I don't want to talk to him.

Oh, come on, Mary. Don't be a dork.

Think about your trust fund. Come on, darling.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MARY SPEAKING FRENCH)

Hello, Jonathan.

(JONATHAN SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY")

(TURNS ON LOUDSPEAKER) (SINGING CONTINUES)

That was wonderful, darling.

Billy Eckstine he ain't, baby.

Don't call me baby. And get out of my house, you creep.

JONATHAN: Mary, honey, I didn't call you baby.

And I'm in New York.

And for God's sake, I sincerely hope you don't think I'm a creep.

I was talking to myself, Jonathan.

JONATHAN: That's what insane people do, dear.

You shouldn't spend so much time by yourself.

Tell Jonathan I said hello.

If you don't get out of my house, I'll have my father's guards throw you out.

Why, 'cause you ain't bad enough to do it yourself?

Will you leave me alone! JONATHAN: No, I will not.

(GROWLS)

JONATHAN: Listen to me.

I'm coming to France in a few days.

Your father has graciously given me a week off.

Oh. That's lovely, Jonathan.

I'm sure you and Daddy will have lots of business to talk about.

I bet he's your boyfriend.

It may seem strange to a hustler like you but I happen to go out with people my own age. Special people.

And they don't wear wedding rings either.

Then they must be wearing diapers!

Here's your future, framed in gold.

Pits!

(SHUDDERS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

How are you doing? Cool. How you doing?

Man, forget it. This girl ain't got no home training.

Remove this peasant from my party. Take his friend, too.

I'm having trouble breathing.

Maybe if you took off your chastity belt you could breathe a little more better.

(LAUGHTER)

MARY: How dare you?

When my ship comes in, I'll never treat people like that.

You couldn't afford a ship.

How much money you make? 3,000 francs a week.

Damn! Couldn't you buy some cologne? (TRICKY LAUGHING)

(SCREAMS)

Punk! Come on back here! One, two, three!

Punk, punk, punk!

Come on back here and fight! Come on. Uh-huh. Get some of this.

Come on back and fight.

You scared to come back. I'll put this cute little shoe in your ugly...

Tricky. What do you want?

Come here.

Can you get home all right?

CHRISTOPHER: Hi, Brisby, remember me? BRISBY: Good evening, sir.

(PHONE RINGING)

WELLINGTON: (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) You know who you've dialed. She's not home.

Do you want to leave a message? (BEEPS)

ISAAC: Hello, beautiful, this is Isaac. I'll be home in the morning.

(PLAYING PLAYFUL MUSIC ON PIANO)

ISAAC: I called you five times last night. Now, where were you?

With me.

ISAAC: I hate this damn machine.

Me, too.

ISAAC: You're not there, are you? Hmm?

You aren't seeing another man, by any chance?

Yes.

ISAAC: Because if you are, I'll kill him.

(TENSE MUSIC)

ISAAC: You know I love you, darling.

See you. Bye.

Goodbye.

He's a little possessive, don't you think?

(SIGHS)

He likes to collect things, including people.

You must be his prized possession.

Oh, I'm like you, Christopher. Hmm?

(CHUCKLES)

I like to have fun. Fun.

Now, there's a wonderful word. Hmm.

(GIGGLING)

Maybe if you took off your jockstrap you would be able to breathe easier, hmm?

I should have said that.

I should have said, "Chastity belt? Oh, you're sadly mistaken, sir.

"I wear a cestus. Perhaps you've heard of it?

"It's an embroidered girdle originally worn by Venus, "and it inspires love.

"Perhaps you've heard of love. (CHUCKLES) I doubt it."

He's just a peasant.

He doesn't even know who Venus is.

Hello, kitten.

How is the prettiest girl on the Côte d'Azur?

Terrific.

I'm sorry I missed your party last night. But you had to see to the ship.

I said I'm sorry, darling.

Somebody has to go out and earn the pennies.

It's forgiven.

Would you like to tell me about it? Can't it wait till later?

You will be home for dinner, won't you? Unfortunately, not tonight.

I have an appointment at 7:00, but I'm sure your mother will tell me everything.

Right.

Won't you let the dog loose. She seems awfully hungry.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Tricky, no. Oh, thank you. Bye-bye.

TRICKY: Good evening, Chris.

Oh, yeah.

Good evening, ladies. Tricky's the name, and love is my game.

You ain't got no money, I love you just the same.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)


You know, I could breathe a lot easier if the air weren't so utterly polluted by your presence.

Oh.

You've been rehearsing that line all night, haven't you?

(CHRISTOPHER GIGGLING)

I have a message for you from Mrs. Wellington.

She wants you to come to her house tonight at 7:00.

Want to dance? I never dance with my clothes on.

CHRISTOPHER: I noticed.

TRICKY: Mary!

TRICKY: (MOANING) Mary.

The name drips from one's lips.

You look wonderful tonight, and I'd be very honored if you'd dance with me.

At least someone around here has some manners.

(MOUTHING)

(PLAYS SOULFUL MUSIC ON PIANO)

Mary, tell me, is it really true you're engaged?

Yes.

Tsk, tsk, what a pity. Sometimes life can be so shitty.

Here's a girl, she's smart and pretty. And rich.

I don't care about that! Honey, I really don't.

I want a girl who can teach me things, hip me to the finer side of life.

Who's not stupid. Man, I hate stupid girls.

Marry a stupid girl, you have stupid kids. You don't believe me?

Follow a stupid kid home, see if someone stupid don't answer the door.

MARY: Mmm-hmm. (GROANS)

I like them nice, too.

You know, that certain special way. Special? What do you mean?

Yeah, special. You know, Mary, that's what you are.

Have you ever been to Le Pavillon?

Oh, yes, honey. Chris and I, we...

No.

Tomorrow night at 8:00.

We'll see how you adapt to the finer side of life.

We'll be there.

May I?

(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)


Why did Mrs. Wellington give you that message?

She's my friend. She told me all about you.

Oh, yeah? What did she say? Guess.

She said I'm an angel, and her heart flies when she's in my arms.

Well, it must be easy to float with a head as swelled as yours.

Big as a balloon, so I can touch the clouds.

So can I. My father has a Learjet.

Hmm.

It's no fun to depend on other people for rides.

Especially not when you're used to taking them for rides the way you do.

What do you want from me, Mary? To know what you want from me.

I want to take you on a trip to the moon.

Who's paying? It's free.

But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that.

Punk! Brat.

Gigolo! Cabbage head!

What? (LAUGHS)

What's the matter, late for work?

Yeah.

You're blowing it.

Tricky, come and dance with me.

(CHRISTOPHER SINGING)

(WHOOPING)

Oh, no.

Nobody like your body, baby.

Oh.

We'll be landing on the moon in three minutes.

Oh. (SIGHS)

Mary, Mary, Mary.

I guess you don't like your daddy fooling around with Mrs. Wellington, do you?

Christopher ain't going to fall into that trap.

No. Too cool for that.

Yo, Isaac!

Stroke it a couple times for me, cousin!

Make sure you put a pillow up her ass. She like that.

(CHUCKLING)

(CHRISTOPHER SINGING)

(HUMMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Who the hell was that?

I don't suppose you happen to know the owner of that charming voice, would you?

Hmm?

TRICKY: Man, that was dog.

She set you up to bust in on her old man's private business?

She don't know that what's good enough for Isaac Sharon is even better for me.

She's bad, cousin. Yeah, but she ain't got no street.

You know, I wish there was some way we could bring her down to our world.

Then she could experience the real fun.

Tell you what. Give me a dark room and a Sam Cooke album, and I'll show her the real fun.

CHRISTOPHER: No, man. That's not what she's about. She's above that.

She just needs to loosen up. Mary already knows who she is.

She just doesn't know what she wants.

Father, be a dear and call Emile and tell him I may possibly want to take the boat out tonight.

Now slow down a minute, Mary. That's a big responsibility.

You've never taken the boat out by yourself before.

Yes, well, it's about time I started to do one or two things by myself.

Don't you think?

CHRISTOPHER: No, Tricky. I don't think so. She is definitely a virgin.

You know, I think she's afraid of men.

(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)

She ain't afraid of Tricky.

ISAAC: Honey, I'm just afraid of you going out unprotected.

Good heavens! What am I going to do? You're free to do whatever you wish.

Am I? Yes.

You know the terms for your getting the trust.

You've changed the terms over the past three years!

All I've tried to do is please you.

Yes, so you could get your money and get out of here.

I just want my own life. You don't know what you want.

Mary, the trust is yours the moment you and Jonathan are wed.

Now, life cannot be simpler than that, can it?

(GRUNTS)

(DRUM ROLL)

CHRISTOPHER: She just doesn't know what she wants.

She wants some of Tricky Dean's pork sausage.

Please. I can see it now. You and Mary Sharon.

"Mother, dear, I'd like you to meet me new husband."

When the police come to take your ass down to the joint, this is me.

"Oh, no. I don't know him.

"He said what, Officer? My brother?

"Oh, no. We definitely have different fathers. Check it out.

"Butterscotch. Chocolate. No way."

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

Honey, don't you know I'll slap the waves out of your head!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(TRICKY INHALES DEEPLY)

(TRICKY GRUNTING)

Man, I've never seen nobody chase girls the way you do.

I'll stop chasing girls when you stop chasing Trickies.

Mary doesn't like you, she likes me.

And tonight, she's going to dance to my tune.

Tricky.

You've just given me a brilliant idea.

What?

We are going to bring Mary Sharon down to our world.

Come on.

(GUARD SPEAKING FRENCH)

(PHOTOGRAPHERS SPEAKING FRENCH)

(MAN SHOUTS)

(MAN YELLS) (OBJECT CLATTERS)

Bonsoir. Good evening.

Ah, so you do have normal clothing. I hate these clothes.

I think it's a vast improvement.

Where's Tricky?

He ran back to the car to fetch his manners. Shall we?

(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(CHRISTOPHER WHISTLING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH) (CAMERAS CLICKING)

(WAITER SPEAKING FRENCH)

To knowledge. (REPEATS)

(SCOFFS) Knowledge? What do you know from knowledge?

You ever been to Miami, baby? I have.

Garçon! You forgot one.

MARY: There's nothing in Miami but people who weren't born there and drugs.

They know more than you'll ever learn in your little, small, sheltered world.

Yeah! Really, now? What, only God knows.

Garçon!

Yes, sir?

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

That's French.

It's obvious little Miss Mary has never been off the city block.

What on Earth is that? Some new language?

CHRISTOPHER: Read it.

You know what it is?

MARY: It's nothing, and you know it but you won't confess it because you're such a coward.

It is something. Something you don't know.

You won't confess that because you're a coward.

This is silly, and you're a child.

I go to dinner without my father's permission.

So that says what?

Now read it aloud so we can all hear how knowledgeable you are.

MARY: "Wrecka stow."

(SPUTTERING)

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

You know what it is? You don't, do you?

MARY: Wrecka stow? It's nothing.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

It is something.

Come on. Read it again. This time say it louder.

Wrecka stow. Louder.

Wrecka stow! I give up. (CONTINUES LAUGHING)

What is it? Wait, wait.

If you wanted to buy a Sam Cooke album, where would you go?

The record store. (BOTH LAUGHING)

MARY: Very amusing. Shall I laugh now or wait until I get into the car?

CHRISTOPHER: You know that was fun.

Oh, look!

(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Tricky, my boy. Our world.

(COMPLAINING ANGRILY IN FRENCH)

Oh, grow up!

CHRISTOPHER: Tricky, put the box up.

(PEOPLE EXCLAIM) This music is a little weak. Do you mind?

(PRINCE'S "GIRLS AND BOYS" PLAYING) (MOUTHING)

(CROWD CHEERING)


Whoo!


(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(MUSIC STOPS) (CROWD BOOING)

(STEREO CRASHES)

(CROWD BOOING)

Hello, Daddy.

This is Christopher. This is Tricky.

This is my father. And his two right hands.

Or are they left hands? I can never remember.

Don't be angry, Daddy.

I just wanted to do something special for a change.

Mary.

Let's go home.

ALL: Boo!

(BOOING CONTINUES)

Party poop!

I want you to find out who those two bums are and what they're doing with my daughter. Compris?

Okay, Mr. Sharon.

(ALL MURMURING)

(TURNS ON RADIO)

('80S POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Oh, Isaac was kind of clean tonight, wasn't he?

He was pretty dap.

You know, Tricky, one day I'm going to... Chris.

What? You know...

I kind of like Mary.

Oh.

Listen, do me a favor.

Why don't you handle the money and leave the drawers to me?

Hmm?

(PHONE RINGING)

What it is?

It's Mary.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

I was wondering what you were doing.

(WHISPERS) Mary.

(NORMAL VOICE) Thinking.

(TURNS RADIO OFF)


About what?

Sex.

(TRICKY SNICKERS)

MARY: Christopher...

If you were here, I'd...

TRICKY: Can I tell you something? No, don't. You'll ruin it.

You've done some dumb-ass things before, but this, my friend, takes the cake.

Shh!

There.

Now remember, if anybody comes, you whistle four times.

(WHISTLES FOUR TIMES)

TRICKY: Dumb-ass, you don't even know if it's the right window.

Pizza man.

Dumb-ass!

CHRISTOPHER: (WHISPERS) Did you order a pizza, ma'am?

WOMAN: Talk of pleasant surprises.

CHRISTOPHER: That's what it is. Just relax and let me do all the work.

WOMAN: Oh, you may have to. I take a couple of Seconals to get to sleep.

(SCOFFS)

Got me out here in the middle of the night watching a window.

(IMITATES CHRISTOPHER) "Handle the money and leave the drawers to me."


Shit!

(WHISTLES TWICE)

(GROANS)

WOMAN: Oh, darling. It's been so long.

CHRISTOPHER: Won't be much longer now, baby.

(PEBBLE CLATTERS)

WOMAN: What was that?

CHRISTOPHER: I think it was my zipper.

(WINCES) Ow!

CHRISTOPHER: Baby, wait! I ain't into all that.

TRICKY: (WHISPERS) Psst! It's the mom.

MURIEL: What did you say, darling?

CHRISTOPHER: I said, uh, it's the wine.

Hang on, love. I have to use the bathroom. (GROANING)

MURIEL: Hurry, honey.

I can't wait any longer.

TRICKY: Dumb-ass!

CHRISTOPHER: What did you expect me to do? Go in a room full of lights on?

TRICKY: You did it to Mary's mom.

CHRISTOPHER: Get the ladder! Shut up!

You did it to Mary's mom. Fuck it!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

ISAAC: Hello, darling. MURIEL: Oh, Isaac.

I can no longer be passive.

Take me now! Darling!

(MURIEL MOANING)

(PRINCE'S "LOVE OR MONEY" PLAYING)


(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Who it is?

What is this?

Soul. What's this?

My dad felt guilty about missing my birthday party and gave me a belated present. I don't know what to do with it.

So I thought a couple of pros like you might have a good idea.

Tricky, Mary don't know what to do with that.

Hmm. That's a hard one.

Oh! I know! Why don't we spend it?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHRISTOPHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Dig it. I need this car.

All right? 200 francs.

400,000 francs.

700,000 francs. What it is?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

What it is?

Mary, hop into your new car.

This is as far as I want to go.

For now, anyway.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Meet me at the hippodrome an hour after the sun goes down.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

CHRISTOPHER: Tricky, today is a wonderful day.

How'd you dig it if I told you I was leaving the business?

That's right. Christopher Tracy, an honest man.

Seriously. I've been thinking that if you really love someone it would go deeper than the flesh, but be happier than sex.

Really, Tricky, there's got to be something else.

If two people really dug one another, they couldn't be torn apart no matter what.

For example, do you love me?

Come on, Tricky, you know what I'm talking about.

Girl, I loved you for years.

Tricky. Seriously. Do you? What? Yeah, I guess.

Yes? Yeah!

That's my point, if two souls are one, I mean, if that's the ultimate, then the flesh is nothing.

We live in a parade.

Dig? Yes, I dig.

I'll be the one digging your grave.

Listen, I like Mary as much as you do, probably more, but this is business.

Tricky, try to understand. No, you understand.

If we don't get some bread and get back to Miami soon, Isaac Sharon's gonna mess one of us up.

And, honey, it ain't gonna be me.

What's the matter? Afraid to die? Yes.

Well, I ain't afraid of shit.

Are you afraid of bats?

(SQUEAKING)

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING) (BATS SQUEAKING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

What should I wear to the joint tonight?

My Versace or my Bonucci?

I don't know, man. I think I like that blue.

TRICKY: What time we pick Mary up?

Uh, I got something I got to do first. What you got to do?

Something.

Damn, I got to keep my eye on you.

Your name should be Tricky. Tricky Christopher.

Meet you at the club in two hours.

Two hours? Two hours.

All right, Chris.

(HORSE WHINNYING)

(PRINCE'S "LIFE CAN BE SO NICE" PLAYING ON STEREO)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MOUTHING SONG)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MOUTHING SONG)

(TURNS OFF MUSIC)

Do you want to race?

On your mark.

(ENGINE REVVING)


Uh, baby, they saw you coming!

That car is worthless!

(WHOOPING)

(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)


WOMAN: Marvelous night, isn't it? Yeah. If you like getting dogged.

Oh, my dear.

If you have nothing nice to say about anybody, please come and sit with us.

(CLATTERS)

Quel scandale!

(MARY GIGGLING)

What's so funny? (CONTINUES GIGGLING)

You can't spell. What?

"Liffy is a poem."

"Life is a parade." Give me this.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I must have that disease. What's the name of it?

It's called "stupid." (LAUGHING)

You're a bit of a maniac, aren't you?

Yeah, you're one of them closet maniacs.

You needed somebody like me to bring it out of you.

Oh, give me a break.

Why is your dad such a punk?

I beg your pardon? Why does he shit on so many people?

You're a peasant. What makes me a peasant?

How much money I got, or what's in my heart?

You know, I wish your dear father could see us when we kiss.

It's a little bit different than it is with your rich boyfriend, ain't it?

As a matter of fact, it's not so hot, you bit me once.

Given the chance, I'd knock the bottom out of them drawers.

And your hair's greasy. Do you use cooking oil?

"Christopher, this is so nice. I've never done it in a piano before."

Oh, you're obnoxious! You probably real quiet at first.

"Oh, oh." Then you get loud.

(LOUDLY) "Oh! Oh!"

And then you get black.

"Oh, shit! Christopher, oh, shit! Oh, baby! Oh, no!"

(MARY SOBBING)

Aw, did I hurt little Mary's feelings?

You ain't funky at all. You're just a little old prude.

A little rich party poop.

Shut up!

Jesus Christ. Shut up? I'm calling your daddy this instant.

Be quiet, maybe, yes. Pipe down. But not "shut up." Oh, no.

Yo, you got a dime?

(CHRISTOPHER GRUNTS)

Shut up! (LAUGHS)

I like that. Not bad.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Yes, this is Lou. May I speak to Mr. Sharon, please?

Oh. Is it important?

Yes.

He's sleeping. Please.

All right.

What? It's for you.

Ugh.

(SIGHS) Yeah, Lou. What is it?

Isaac, get your ass out of that bed.

You know them's my drawers.

Who the hell is this?

The delivery boy from the liquor store. I brought you champagne the other day.

Tell me where you are, and I'll come and kick your face off!

Did you say kiss my face off? Well, I'd like that real well, because that's just what I did to your daughter.

I'm going to marry her, Isaac. She loves me.

She doesn't know it yet. But when she does, she'll be mine.

It doesn't matter what you do to us. She'll always belong to me.

If you try to stop us, I'll give this number to your wife.

She knows what I'd do to you!

Ugly bastard!

There's one way to find out. Just mess with me.

You rich folks always take from people like me.

That says what? That says now I'll take something from you.

(PHONE BEEPS)

He can destroy you. You have no idea.

The chief inspector is on his payroll.

Does he love you? Yes.

Then I can destroy him.

(RECEIVER CLATTERS)

(RIPS)

CHRISTOPHER: You want?

Yes.

No. When I want it.

You rich girls want everything.

No.

I want more.


BUTLER: Thank you.

ISAAC: Mary!

Mary.

Your mother and I would like to see you.

MURIEL: Oh, hello, darling. We were just talking about you.

Where have you been?

You were out all night. Was I?

I don't remember.

(DISHES CLATTERING)

Who were you with? Friends.

Who? What friends?

I want an explanation.

Do I have to give you a written report, or can I just phone it in?

ISAAC: Mary!

You were with that boy.

MARY: He's not a boy, he's a man.

ISAAC: He's not a man, he's a gigolo.

You know what that is? That is a fancy word for a whore.

There are a lot of words for "whore," Daddy, and I'm sure you're well acquainted with all of them.

It's time that you understand the importance of your marriage and what it could do to this family and your future.

Do you have any idea of how much the Donahues are worth?

Why, with our combined fortunes... (GASPS)

(SHOUTING) Mary, you have no right!

Now, that's nerve.


"I'll meet you at the club in two hours."

I got waylaid. No.

You got laid.

(SCOFFS)

You dogged me. You lied to me! You broke the rules of our partnership.

You're jive, and you got laid.

Tricky, you know, I think you're cute, but you're not my wife.

Why, you selfish son of a biscuit-eater. I thought we were partners!

Not this time.

TRICKY: I'll tell you why, too.

'Cause you know if I drop the bomb on Mary, she'll fall in love with me.

You're drunk.

Yeah, Christopher, I'm drunk. But, hey, guess what?

You're stupid!

I told you never to mix emotion with business. Deadly combination.

Have you seen my phone book?

I bet you she don't even like you. I know she likes me.

Yeah? Well, I got news for you.

Women don't like you. They use you. When they've used you up, they're gone.

You just said the wrong thing, Tricky.

Punk!

Mary sure ain't gonna be playing with you no more.

Not when Tricky done with her! That's right! That's my drawers now!

She'll be throwing rocks at you. KATY: Tricky!

BUTLER: What's up, Christopher?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Let's run away.

For a couple of hours.

Why not forever?


MARY: Christopher, I'm afraid.

CHRISTOPHER: Afraid of what? Tricky and I come here all the time.

MARY: Afraid of us.

My father is very... CHRISTOPHER: Your father. (SCOFFS)

You know as well as I do he ain't no good.

Why can't you admit it? Come on, say it.

MARY: Christopher, do you love me?

CHRISTOPHER: Define love.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)


(MUSIC CONTINUES)


(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(PHONE RINGING)

Yes? ISAAC: Sam?

Isaac?

ISAAC: That's right.

Listen, uh...

I have a little problem I want you to help me with.

(OMINOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

(CHUCKLES)

Look.

Why don't you go home and sleep it off.

You and Christopher will be best friends again in the morning.

Never! He dogged me, lied to me, he...

Mary was my girl as much as his!

Kiss me.

You don't really love Jonathan, do you?

If I tell you, will you tell me something about the women you go out with?

Yes. No.

Now you talk.

Kiss me first.

Say, now! Don't you two make a sexy couple?

When's the wedding? I said, when's the wedding, man?

You still gonna marry her, aren't you? That's what you said.

You said for $50 million, you'd seriously consider it.

CHRISTOPHER: Mary... TRICKY: But guess what. I want my cut!

You promised me 30%! I want it.

Mary, we got a little business deal. Don't take it personally.

It's not true, Mary.

Do you lie?

Mary!

Damn it, Tricky!

KATY: You dumb shit! What did you do that for?

Because it's a full moon. I'm a werewolf, bitch.

Kiss my ass!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

You dogged me, Chris!

KATY: Shut up, stupid! No, you shut up!

You're going to end up with no friends at all.

TRICKY: I don't need friends. I'm my own man.

Just like Liberace.

WOMAN: Christopher.

When can we get together again?

WOMAN: You know I miss you.

(EERIE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Christopher, you know I miss you.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Mary! My God, where have you been? We've been worried sick about you.

Pack your bags, Mother. We're flying to New York tonight.

MURIEL: Whatever for? Jonathan's... MARY: Mother!

For 21 years now, I've listened to you and Father tell me what to do.

You've painted a picture of a perfect world and you've framed it with hypocrisy, stubbornness, and lies.

And you've hung it on a trust fund I can't get until I marry a man I don't even love.

Doesn't it matter to you and Daddy what I want?

Of course it does, dear, but... Mother.

Look at me.

I am your painting.

I hurt real bad.

Mary.

Don't you think I hurt, too?

We all hurt a little.

(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Hello, Christopher.

Isaac asked me to give you this.

WELLINGTON: It's yours...

Under one condition.

Stay away from Mary for good.

Give this to Isaac from me.

WELLINGTON: "Fa you?"

Tell him it's Chinese.

(PRINCE'S "ANOTHERLOVER HOLEINYOHEAD" PLAYING)

Christopher, wait.

She's leaving for New York on the family plane.

What time?

Midnight.

Good luck, Christopher.

(TIRES SCREECHING)


Mary, don't go!

What do you want?

To talk to you.

I don't want to hear it, Christopher. I've heard enough.

Just give me five minutes of your time, please!

Let him go.

Mary, what's going on?

I said, let him go!

You promise? Only five minutes.

MURIEL: Mary, please! Don't worry.

Oh, God!

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

You have exactly four and a half minutes.

Mary, don't you see?

I need a lifetime.

I'm not giving it to you.

On, yes, you are.


(HORN HONKING)

I thought you wanted to talk.

Maybe I just wanted to look at you.

Why don't I give you a photograph?

I want more.


(SIREN BLARING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO)

Isaac.

Isaac, this is terrible.

I tried to stop her. I had no idea that she was...

Let me handle this. Who's in charge? I am.

How the hell did you let this happen?

Your daughter willingly agreed to go, sir.

She was abducted!

My wife saw her being driven away against her will!

What more do you want?

Why are you doing this?

What do you want? I want to kiss you.

Christopher, I don't know you anymore.

You've been using me all this time.

You whore.

Oh, my God, he's gone mad.

Christopher, if this is your idea of a joke...

Take me back to the airport.

Now.

What's the matter with you? Say something!

MARY: I hate you.

I love you.

You don't love me.

Okay, then I hate you.

MARY: No, you don't.

Then I love you.

MARY: Define love.

(PRINCE'S "KISS" PLAYING)


(MAN CLAPPING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)


Let me take you away from here...

Forever.

Look, Chris, I'm sorry.

My tongue started dancing, and I didn't know how to stop it.

We can't let this silly dame come between us. Let's kiss and make up.

(IMITATES KISSING)

If you don't tell us where your partner is, you can kiss your ass goodbye.

Goodbye.

LOU: Start talking, punk. Where is he?

In his skin, the last time I checked.

(TRICKY SNEEZES)

Oh, no! My new tie!

(TRICKY COUGHING)

New tie, huh?

See these cuff links? $500.

Come here, look.

The shoes: $1,000. Finest money can buy.

(SCREAMING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Only confused men wear loafers. You aren't confused, are you?

(PHONE RINGING)

Yes. Yes.

That's the car.

I want the coast guard to scour every inch of the coast for them.

They must have gone off in a motorboat.

I know it's a big ocean! So what?

I shall be there in half an hour.

(JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Lou, the police have found the car.

Eddy, his car's at Villefranche harbor.

Yeah, we're gonna...

No, he's out cold.

LOU: Yeah, we'll be ready in a minute.

Yeah, Mr. Sharon, we know what to do.

(GROANING)

(KATY SCREAMING)

(EXCITING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)


(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

I want to be an honest man I'll be your slave, just understand How much I need you

MARY: And if I lie

I'm part of you

This is my crime CHRISTOPHER: I do know laughter I do know tears But all is nothing without you near We are of one soul And if I died We'll be together side by side With you, I know that I can stand With you, I can be an honest man

(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES)

TRICKY: Yo, Chris! CHRISTOPHER: What's going on?

You ever had your ass kicked for breakfast?

No, but it looks like you just did.

If you don't get out of here quick, you will be next.

Where's Mary? At the grotto. Why?

That's why.

(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

Come on.

Still mad at me?

Put it this way. If we ever make it to that wedding, I'll be your best man.

Hold them off. I'm going to get Mary.

TRICKY: Katy, run!

Strike! Put it on him!

It's my turn now. Oh, man!

(GRUNTING)

That's right, cousin!

My turn.

TRICKY: Bonsoir!

(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)

(MAN YELLING IN FRENCH ON POLICE RADIO)

TRICKY: Katy, we got to hurry!

KATY: Tricky, wait for me!

Christopher, run!

Get him! I don't care what you do with him. Just get him!

I'm not going without you.

There's no time to wait! Go!

ISAAC: Shoot him!

Mary.

(GUN FIRES)

Christopher.

Damn, Chris.

MARY: Oh, God!

Dear God...

Don't take Christopher yet.

He ain't ready, Lord.

He's just a baby.

We had fun, didn't we?

Not him!

Not now!

(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Christopher, damn!

I told you we shouldn't have came here.

ISAAC: Mary.

There's nothing more can be done.

Mary...

Let's go home.

I'm not going home.

I'm going with Christopher.

And don't try and stop me now.

(PRINCE'S "SOMETIMES IT SNOWS IN APRIL" PLAYING)


CHRISTOPHER: If two people really loved one another, they'd be together forever.

They couldn't be torn apart no matter what happened.

Tricky, look.

It's from Mary.

"My darling Tricky, being alone is hard but I'm dealing with it.

"Although many have asked, I just can't picture myself with anyone else.

"I guess Christopher was right, after all.

"What a world, eh?"

MARY: I shall come in a few months to see how our investment turned out.

How do you like being the landlord of your very own apartment complex?

Fine.

MARY: Give Katy a hug for me.

I miss you, Tricky.

Love, Mary.

Wasn't that nice?

You heard what Mary said, Tricky.

Give me a hug.

Oh, no, you don't. Not this time.

I want the rent money paid in full, or I'm throwing you out into the Miami streets.

Oh, Tricky! Think I won't?

Tricky, wait!

No. I don't want to hear it. I refuse to hear any excuses.

TRICKY: No, no. I told you. Rent in full.

You're 22 hours late with your rent, and I need my money!

(KATY SPEAKING FRENCH)

(PRINCE'S "MOUNTAINS" PLAYING)


(SINGING)