V/H/S/2 (2013) Script

Hey! Shh shh shh!

No. No no no.

Just be quiet.

Oh shit! Aw, man, fucking...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit. Hey! Hey!

Get the fuck back here!

Hey, give me that fucking camera!

Yeah, so you're watching that footage I sent?

Yeah, I fucking saw it. You--

So as you probably guessed, your wife hired me to get that.

My problem is if I show it to her, she stops paying me.

So I was thinking you might want to make a counter-offer there.

Oh, and whatever number you come up with, you can put 300 bucks on top for the dent you put in my car.

--Well, you scratched the paint anyway.

You know what? If I don't hear from you by tomorrow, your wife gets that file.

Goodbye.

-So what's the deal now? -Ah, probably nothing.

Just this woman thinks her son is missing.

He hasn't been to class in a week. He won't answer her calls.

He's probably passed out in a pile of beer cans.

In which case we're gonna take the kid on a road trip and rack up some expenses, 'cause we're getting 1,000 bucks a day on this one.

Turn left up here.

Your button cam's working? Yeah, it's working.

This is it?

Yeah.

It doesn't look like anyone's home.

She couldn't give you a key?

She doesn't have one. She said the lock on the back window's busted, so maybe we can get in that way.

And the cops haven't been here? No, the cops don't give a shit about some college kid who's missing for a couple of days.

Here.

ls there someone in there?

--Here. Come on, give me the cam.

There's nothing there. See?

It sure as fuck sounded like there's something in there.

It's an old house.

Besides, if there is somebody in there, I'm gonna want to talk to 'em.

Here.


Ow.

You all right? Ow.

Just great. Ow.

You okay?

Huh.


Um... What?

You know what? Stay in here, okay? I'm gonna go check the rest of this apartment and make sure no one else is in here, okay?

-You got your gun? -Yeah.

All right, good.

Just--just, um, pull anything relevant onto the drive.

Okay? And record everything.

That was part of the deal. She likes me to do that.

Well, you took my camera.

Oh. Then...

All right, so I'll be right back. Just, um-- just--I don't know, see what's on that computer, okay?

If it's encrypted, we can take it home. If not, just pull what you can.

Got it.


Show her tits!


I found a new one.

It's third or fourth generation from the quality.

I--I got it from some guy down in Little Armenia with a pawn shop.

He is definitely not the type of guy you usually see on here trading with us, but I think he's somebody who's worth checking in on again.

Okay. That's fucking weird.

Most of his collection, I would say, was snuff and CP, but he had at least one that was the real thing.

I don't even think he knew what it was.

' Anyway...


A little bit of redness, some irritation, but it looks okay.

How's it working? It's good.

Um, yeah, I can see, but what about my other eye?

-Follow. -Okay.

You can't see anything out of your biological eye?

-No. -Okay.

How about now?

Yeah. I mean, it's a little better.

It's just kind of blurry and shadowy.

Yeah. All right.

Well, because your prosthesis is attached directly to your visual cortex, your real eye's essentially battling with your camera eye to give you input right now.

So when your brain gets used to having that chip in there, you should start to see more and more out of your uninjured eye again.

Until then you might see some glitches.

What do you mean by glitches?

Well, this is just being tested now.

Eye injuries like yours are quite rare.

So that's why we've installed a recording chip into the eye itself so we can test the data that it's receiving.

Right. Yeah, about that.

-Yes? -Oh my God.

So if I want private time, what do I do?

-How do I turn this off? -Uh, well, you can't.

But that's just for this trial period.

I mean, you can't expect the KPG Corporation to just give you this implant and not expect to test its data.

Of course not.

So you guys are gonna sit around and watch me take shits?

I'd say that's a fair compromise, Mr. Middleton.

You can read a newspaper during, or something.

-Mm-hmm. -So make an appointment for next week.

We'll see how it's working. Call me if you have any concerns.

All right. Thank you.

What the hell?

All right.

♪ Fever, fever, fever... ♪ All right, man. All right.

-Sure you gonna be okay, bud? -Yeah, dude, I'm good. I'm good.

All right, give me a shout if you need anything.

See ya.


What the fuck? Where'd I put that controller?

_ Oh--

All righty, then.

What the...?

Okay.


What the fuck?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, come on. What the fuck is this shit?

Oh shit.

--Jesus!Fuck!

Oh shit.

Yeah. Yeah, I can tell the difference between a burst of light and a fucking bloody person, okay?

I don't know, you tell me. You're the doctor.

Look, I'm coming in there tomorrow and you're gonna fix this fucking thing and that's that, okay?

Fine.

All right, thank you.

Fuck.


Hello?

Is somebody down there?

Seriously, don't fuck with me.

Oh, God damn it.

Hello?

Shit!

Oh fuck.

Who the fuck?

--Shit.

Uh uh, hello?

Shit! Uh, okay!

I'm good.

Thank you, you can go.

Oh shit!

Oh fuck!

Oh my God.

Oh, God damn it.


Oh shit.

Oh shit.

What the...?

Hey, are you in there?

Look, I can see you through the peephole.

Weren't you at the doctor's office yesterday?

Yeah.

Okay, so what's the deal? Are you following me?

I'm not following you. I-- look, just open the door.

All right, listen, I don't mean to be rude, -but it's kind of weird, you know? -Look, are you seeing weird stuff?

Like people who look dead?

You should really open the door.

Thank you.

I'm Clarissa.

Yeah, come on in.

Nice place, man. Thanks.

Do you have any beer?

I do. Yes.

What about painkillers? Did the doctor give you any?

No, I'm not actually in any pain.

I'll just take a beer then.

Look, Clarissa, I'm actually on my way out of here.

Dude, you're not gonna get anywhere if you don't hear what I have to say.

Just give me a beer, get one for yourself.

You're gonna need it.

Right.

-Thanks. -Sure.

I was born deaf.

When I was 16 my parents put me up for a new cochlear implant.

It worked, obviously.

But I began to be able to pick up certain frequencies in my environments.

What happened to your eye anyway?

I was in a, um-- in a car accident.

So who's the little girl?

What little girl?

There's a little girl here.

I heard her crying when I came in.

But you know...

I don't hear her now.

Some people never hear them or see them-- maybe once in their entire lives, if they're open to it.

So... when you can sense them, they know.

They can tell.

That's why I wanted to find you... to warn you.

Warn me about what?

Yeah.

The more you interact with them, the more they can touch you, hurt you, stuff.

Well, tomorrow I'm gonna get this fuckin' thing taken out of my head and that'll be that, right?

Don't be so sure.

Have you ever done anything bad to anybody?

Look, if you get the implant taken out, they're still gonna be there.

You're just not gonna be able to see 'em.

I don't know, maybe that's better.

Well, I guess--oh shit!

Um, I don't want to alarm you right now, but there's a fucking creepy dude standing right behind you.

I know. I can hear him.

-Do you know him or something? -He was my uncle.

Oh, of course, right. I mean-- well, I didn't mean to call him creepy, but I mean--

He wasn't a nice person.

Okay.

-Jesus. -I know how to make him go away.

-Just focus on me. -Okay.

Oh!

Holy shit.

No, don't look at him. Look at me.

Oh.

Oh shit.

All right, you scientist assholes, I want a copy of that footage.

Like, I want you to put it on a disc or something, but don't watch it.

Just get it to me, okay?

All right.

Oh fuck.

Oh, God damn it.

Clarissa?

Is that you?

H6]!-

Oh shit!

H6]!-

Oh God.

Oh shit.

Ow! What the fuck?

Clarissa, give me your hands!

Fuck.

--C'mere.

I got you.

--Give me your hand.


--Oh fuck!

Oh oh oh oh.

All right.

You're coming out of here, you fucker.

Eww... oh, I can't look at this shit.

Oh God.

Okay.


Oh shit!


Larry?

Larry!

Hey, keep your voice down. What?

-What's wrong? -Nothing.

I just watched something really weird.

It couldn't have been reals.

Okay.

Is there anything on that computer?

I'm cloning his hard drive now. It shouldn't take too long.

Here, look at this.

Tape is the final link for me.

Um, I know a lot of you have posted that it only affects you if you play it in a correct sequence.

But I've been experimenting on--

-Is this the kid? -Yeah, that's him.

I found some notebooks in his room, kind of like journals.

Mostly just nonsense though. I'm going through them right now.

Why don't you, like, keep looking at these tapes?

The kid's a collector. I don't know. Who knows?

Maybe there's something relevant on them.

Oh.

Um... okay.

We're all just electromagnetic energy.

If these analog tapes capture the images of the supernatural, they can affect our cerebral cortex. They--they--


Hey, babe.

Don't "Hey, babe" me, Mike Sullivan.

We're supposed to be having breakfast. Yeah, but it's a beautiful day.

I just want to take the bike out for a spin.

I wanted you to take me for a spin.

You know, you ride that bike more than you ride me.

Yeah, but you know the bike is just a physical thing, babe.

Mm-hmm.

Now tell me you love me.

I love you.

Okay, good enough.

-Be safe, babe. -All right, bye.


Help! Help me! Please!

-Are you okay? ' MY boyfriend!

You have to help my boyfriend!

--I'm getting help.

No, please! Help Dan!

Oh God!

Hey. Hey hey hey, stay with me.

Shit!

Fuck! God.

--Who's there?

The police are right behind me, so you'd better run!

I got a big fucking stick!

What the fuck?

Oh.

Hey hey, come on, we've got to go!

--Whoa, aah!

Ow, get off!

Die, you fucking bitch!

You fucking bitch!


Oh God.

Okay okay Okay"-

Help. Help!


Honey, are you sure you know where you're going?

This does not look like a trail. Of course I know where I'm going.

Just trust me. How can you tell?

Well, it used to be a trail. There's no trail here.

This doesn't look familiar to you at all?

No, not whatsoever.

I mean it's pretty, I'll give you that much.

Holy shit.

Oh my God.

Is he...?

I think so.

It looks like he's been bit by something.

Yeah.

Will you check his pulse, just to be sure?

Nothing.

My God, I mean, what could have done this?

I don't know.

I don't know. An animal?

Oh, um, yes, hello. We found someone.

He's, like, covered in blood and there's no pulse.

We're on the bike trails and--

I mean, it looks like he's been bit by something.

-It's a bite, right? -That would be my guess.

Um, what state park is this? I don't remember.

-This is Gold Stone State Park. -Yeah, we're at Gold Stone State Park.

Um, but I'm not sure exactly where we are here.

It's the-- the trail off of Highway One.

Yeah, on the trails off of Highway One.

-Okay. -They're sending somebody?

They're gonna send-- connect us with a park ranger.

Okay.

Holy shit.

God.

-Wait a minute. -Honey, what are you doing?

I think I heard a noise.

-What kind of noise? -I don't know.

It's like he said something.

Hey. Hey. Hey hey.

--Hey! Hey hey! Let go!

--Get off me! Get off me, man!

Get off of him! Stop it! Stop it!

No!

Get off, get off! Stop it!

Oh my God!

Mmm.


Mmmm.


--Yay!

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, Bianca.

All right, honey.

Go! Go!

--Hey!

Get in the car. Get in the car. Let's go. Hurry hurry hurry.

Faster faster faster.

Hurry up-Hun']! UP- Hurry hurry.

Get in. Get in. Get in.

Come on, dude, do it.

Aah! No no no!

--Oh shit!


Mike?

Mike? Mi-ike?

Hello?

Mike? Mike, Mike, Mike.

Are you okay?

You butt-dialed me, goofball.

Oh well, I love you, baby.

Can't wait for you to get home. Bye.


Hey, how's it going in here?

Hey-

sorry-

I must've fallen asleep.

Oh my God.

Your nose is bleeding.

Don't tilt your head back. It'll just go down your throat.

This one of your migraines?

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Are your pills in your purse?

Yeah.

They're not in here. Could you have left them at your apartment?

I don't--maybe. I don't know. I--

All right, so what do you want me to do? We passed a drugstore on the way here.

I could go back, get you some aspirin or something.

Yeah.

I don't feel like moving.

All right, well, I feel kind of weird leaving you--

Just go.

Okay. I'll be right back.


Malik, I'm getting audio, but no visual.

You check the connection? Wait wait.

Okay, how about now?

That's, um-- okay, we're good.

We're good? We're good.

All right.

Let me see.

All right, perfect. Now switch to Lena-cam.

All right.

Do you see me, gents?

Crystal clear.

Adam, can you tell?

No. From here, not a thing.

But if I zoom in...

The top button, Adam. Well?

Let's just say you really have to be looking for it.

Excuse me if I'm wrong but, paradise?

Yes, that's correct, our paradise.

This, all you see before you, is temporary.

There is a higher order, another plane of existence.

My family and I, all of my disciples we're getting closer and closer to crossing over to the promised gates.

You mean in a spiritual sense, metaphorically speaking--

No, not a metaphor! It's as literal as it gets.

It's here in this world.

It has already begun. We're on the precipice of...

We're on the verge of...

Do you have to be so close?

Just doing my job here.

We'd love to discuss this further, but in a more suitable location.

I was wondering if we could come and visit your family at the commune and continue this interview...

No, I'm sorry.

I do not allow nonbelievers to enter Paradise Gates.

Experience has taught us that in your eyes we are seen as nothing more than a carnival freakshow.

I understand, sir, but... Malik.

Excuse me, sir, but that's why we want your approval.

We want to show an unbiased view of your family.

No editorial slant, just a platform for you to show our viewers the truth behind the ideology at Paradise Gates.

What do you say?


Yo, Adam.

-Would you pass me the spy cam? -Where?

In my bag. In the front.

-Sure. -Thanks, man.

-Here, heads up. -Whoa!

You're a fucking dick, you know that?

Okay, guys'

Madame, my name is Malik.

-This is my crew. -Hi, I'm Lena. I'm the producer.

-Hello. -It was quite a journey.

Yes, we found being too close to the city was a little dangerous for Father.

-It's safer for us out here. -I see...

We can't let any harm come to Father.

He's our sole shepherd on our journey to immortality.

-You've got a large compound here. -Yes, out of necessity.

-Hi, what's your name? -This is Lydia.

Hi, Lydia. Oh.

Thank you.

Did the other little girls help you?

I'm not a girl anymore. Father took care of--

Enough, Lydia. Tend to your sisters now.

Please follow me.

Yeah, all right.

Oh, wait. Wait wait wait wait.

Wait.

Hey, Lena, you want to upsize that thing?

No, this is creepy, man. I don't want to wear this.

Hey, Joni.

This belongs to you, man.

Hey, Joni, Adam, come here.

Coming coming coming.


How many children are in the commune?

Twenty in total.

How about Father? Does he have any children?

We are all Father's children here.

Our Father...

Joni, not too bright.

Sorry, madame.

Our almighty Father has a lot of responsibilities for his family.

Adam.

As you spend more time with him you'll grow to appreciate our ways.

How long have you had this building?

For some time.

Ah, here are Father's little chosen ones.

Would it be okay for us to film them?

You can film only what Father allows.

Hey, we're not the only one filming, guys.

Yes, those. Security purposes.

Please, this way.

Yeah.

Okay, we'll be ready to start soon, sir.

I'd like to start by getting your perspective, then we'll move on to your family and the commune.

Are you all right?

-I am fine. I am ready. -Okay.

Dude, can you speed things up?

Don't forget his. Go.

Dude, there's blood on the mic.

Sir, are you sure you're okay to do this interview?

I've waited a long time for this day.

In that case, we'll start straightaway.

I'd like to ask...

Wait. Are you okay?

I'm fine.

All right, so as I said...

--...I'd like to begin by asking you...

You okay?

Excuse me, sir, the restroom?

Go downstairs, third door on the left.

Thank you. Lena, you okay?

Just start without me.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Come on, let's start.

Yeah, um...

Hey, you know what? Sorry.

You want me to go check on Lena?

There's no need.

Just to make sure she's fine.

Do not be worried, Madame will take care of her.

It's okay, sir. Technical issues.

Exactly, sir.

He'll do field control and leave us to talk.

Well, first I must start with a somewhat challenging question.

A question that I am sure is on most people's minds.

Regarding your lifestyle, specifically the relationship you have with the children here.

What's your point?

--Okay.

Hey, kids, where's your teacher?

Wow, these are really great.

What's this a painting of?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just barge in.

Beautiful, aren't they?

Yes, they are.

But not as beautiful as yours will be.

Excuse me?

No, you will bear something very special indeed.

You are very blessed.

Wait, don't be scared. Hey, Lena.

You okay?

Excuse me, madame. Lena, what's wrong?

Yo. Hey, Lena.

What happened?

In order to follow this path you have to remain pure.

I can help maintain that purity.

They bring their wives, their children so that I may wash away their impurities.

Wash away their impurities? They're still children.

You may see it as unnatural, but we see it as a progression.

I see it as underage children involved in what many consider illegal behavior, sir.

I have blessed them.

They will stand by me on the front line, in the heavenly glow of the gates.

Oh, how long they have waited.

Men in robes may seek heaven in the skies.

But not me.

I do not need to look upwards.

I simply look ahead.

For paradise is right in front of me and I hold the key to unlock the gates.

Pull with all my might, I will open the gates of paradise.

-This world of ours is temporary. -Um... Malik?

-This is just the beginning. -Sorry, the battery is almost out.

Seriously? My bad.

-I thought I charged it yesterday. -Man! Don't worry, I got this.

Sir, please excuse me a moment.

Where are you going? We need a spare battery.

I'll be right back.


Batteries, batteries.

It's been over a day, Adam.

Listen, I need to know whether it's going to be me or you telling Malik.

We owe it to him.

Are you even sure it's mine?

-Malik and I haven't-- -Haven't what?

It's been a while.

Fuck! He's my fucking--

-he's my fucking best friend. -And he's my fiancé.

Adam, I am pregnant and you're the father.

Just cover your fucking camera.

Do you think I wanted this to happen?

Hey hey, come on, come on.

Listen.

We can go see someone, fix this, no one's gonna know.

What the fuck?

What? Fuck you!

I don't need you. I'll tell Malik myself.

And whether or not I keep this, and whether or not he walks, I still don't fucking need you!

What?

You heard me.

Fine. Decision made.

Fuck me, fuck you, fuck him.

God damn it.


In your opinion what do you think about organized religion...

It's time.

What?

Brothers and sisters.

My children.

Lovers of my life.

Follow me, for I have been the compass of your souls.

Months...

--Even years...

Oh, it felt like an eternity.

But now we are approaching the final steps.

Today, at this very moment, we will reach our salvation.

--This is it!

--The final key to Paradise is ours.

Father has been waiting for you, we must go to him directly.

-My wives and my children. -Take one cup each, my little ones.

-Don't waver from your path. -Make sure to drink every drop.

Yesterday you were tainted and sullied.

Today you stand as angels of purity.

Don't be afraid, hold firm. Guide yourself to the promised land.

Take into your hearts what you're about to do...

Sir?

Don't fucking interrupt me!


Oh shit! Jesus!

--Oh, fuck fuck fuck!

Fuck it!

And for my sons and brothers!

Our path is filled with unholy obstacles, but as we step closer to him, boulders shall become mere pebbles.

I command you! Vanquish them with me!

What the fuck? Sir!

What the-- what the fuck? Sir?

Wait wait wait, hold on, hold on. You didn't listen!

Hold on, man. Oh no. What?


It is our time now...

Stand up.

--And give your bodies to him.

What?

As we approach these final steps. No, you can't do this.

Know that we will soon bask in his embrace.

Fuck.

What the fuck is going on?

Rejoice, child, the time has cometh.

Hey!

Stop! Stop!

Oh fuck. Fuck!

Virgins, angels, all your desires--

He shall provide.

Until we meet again, my brothers.

Let us say goodbye as we close this prayer.

Lena?

-Lena? -Amen.

Amen.

No no no no!

Hey!

Fuck, man!

Amen.

Holy shit!

Take his arms.

--Bring him here.

Oh fuck!

Help me!

Shit!

Help me.

No, please don't!

Don't move, sir!

Adam, run. Go find her!

Please be patient, sir.

No, please! I said be patient, sir!

Go!

I'm sorry, man.

It has been an honor to meet you, sir.

--Whoa. What... the fuck?

Oh shit.

The day has come, He will be here soon...

Fuck!

Wait!

Our time has come!

Everything is ready.

The day has come, awake is the promised one.


You don't need that anymore, son.

It is... fulfilled.

Fu-- oh fuck! Shit.

-Lena! -Adam!

--Fuck you, bitch!

Bitch!


Okay okay.

Fuck.

Okay, Lena, calm down.

I'm here, I'm here. Come on.

Get it the fuck out of me!

Get it... out of me!

--Oh!

Oh shit.


What the--


Joni!

Oh fuck! Joni--

Aw fuck, no!

Oh Jesus!

Get the fuck--

Go!

--Oh fuck!

Oh!

What the fuck?

--Fuck.

--Oh fuck!

Shit!

Oh shit!

--No.

No. No no no!


Fuck!

Oh, fuck.

What the fuck?

--Come on!

God help me, come on! Oh shit!

--Oh fuck!

Fuck!Fuck!

--Fuck!


Fuck!

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

Come On, come On, come On, come On, come On.

Fuck.Fuck.

Papa.


Hey, baby, so I got you both aspirin and ibuprofen because I figured--

Oh no.

Help!

Somebody help me!

Why did you do this?

Oh oh.


Come taste the flesh of our slaughtered beast, Earth creature.

Yeah, so we can eat your body and collect your skin suit.

Aha! You fell for our trap, Earth fool.

Now you will be our delicious murder.

Quick, put him in my digestive container so I can feed off of his life juice.

--What the fuck?

Put that dog down, Rattlebox.

You keep feeding him raw hot dogs, he's gonna get sick.

I don't want to be the one pulling tapeworms out of our dog's behind.

Oh, Tank. Ass worms.

-Are you guys filming this? -Affirmative.

Good. Then we got it on tape that you got your chores.

What about Jenn? No.

She's got an exam to study for and I want you two to leave her alone.

You know in 20 minutes Zack's gonna roll up in here, right?

Guys, look after Tank.

Okay?

Your mother loves you.

Good job, Tank.

Good buddy.

-Right on time. -Where's Jenn?

She's in her room studying. What? I can't hear you.

She's in her fucking room. I can't fuckin' hear over this radio.

What the hell?

You say she was in her room? Yeah.

Oh, perfect.

What the fuck, Gary?

What the hell took you guys so long?

We fuckin' lost our baseball game.

'Cause you guys suck. You suck.

So what's up for today?

Oh yeah.

We got some shit planned.

My sister and all her friends are out back. Let's go.

Let's make it rain! Your sister's friend hot?

Yes.

Hey, who wants some of Daddy's beer?

--Your sister's gonna be so pissed.

Yeah, she's probably gonna shit out her vag.

Gross.

Hey, Randy, are you ready to get your sister wet?

--Fuck off, dude. Don't film my dick.

Ready, aim, fire! Oh my God!

Oh my God! Yeah!

Get drenched!

Assholes! Seriously, get outta here!

Go, you fucking twerps! Fuckers!

I'm gonna break your backs, you little shits!

Taste my hot love, lover boy.

Oh fuck!

Fuck!

Son of a bitches! Stop!

Get him!

Fuck you! Hilarious!

-See you tomorrow. -Get the fuck back here!

Get me out of this fucking cage!

See you later, biatch.

Whoa! Come back here, you bitch!

Holy shit, your sister's hot.

Fuck off. So is your mom.

Danny, what are you doing?

Are they actually doing it?

They are, I bet you.

Holy crap, they are doing it. Let's ruin their fuckin' party.

All right, hit it.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Get out, Randy! Get out!

Babies making babies! Babies making babies!

Oh fuck! Get out, Randy! Get out!

Babies making babies! Gary!

That's it! Whoa.

--I'm gonna fucking rip your dicks off!

Turn off the light!

Go go go! Get back here!

Oh my God, that was so lame. Turn off the light, turn off the light. Oh shit.

I tasted your piss, now I'm gonna taste your fucking blood!

Do you guys see that?

What the fuck is that?

I don't know. It kinda looks like a gravity--

Give me that fucking camera!

Let him the fuck go, you piece of shit!

Are you fucking kidding me, Randy? You want to fight right now?

Oh stop it! Fuck off, Randy! Why are you such an asshole?

-I didn't have a shirt on! -Calm down, it's not even a big deal.

-Are you serious? -You were supposed to be studying, -not slam hogging. -Oh, shut it, Gary.

And if I can't fucking erase this film, I'm gonna fucking smash this camera.

You're bunch of fucking faggots. You can suck my dick.

I don't want to!

Put it down, Zack. Put it back.

This is it. I fucking got you now, you piece of shit.

What the fuck?

What is it? What's he doing? Oh fuck!

-He's fucking spankin' it. -He's what?

-He's stretching his dick. -Oh my God.

He's jerking off. Oh God.

This is it. That's disgusting.

No, this is it, Jenn. This is it. This is how we get that fucker back.

Shh. Stay still, Tank.

Is this how they do it?

Yeah yeah, I think--I think it's good.

Just--we got to get in there before he lubes up that sleeping bag.

So disgusting.

Come on, it's good. Let's just do this. Come on.

Okay. Help me get him down.

Go see Randy.

Tank, go, get out of here.

Oh fuck! Tank, come back!

--Shh.

Well, if it isn't Randy Handy the fucking hand job.

Caught you sticky-handed, you little come-dick.

-"Come-dick"? -Jenn, you'll ruin my life.

Please give me the camera. Yeah right.

I'm putting this all over the Internet.

What's going on in here? Oh, nothing.

We just caught your friend milking his dick in here.

You were coming while we were sleeping?

Fuck you and fuck you!

Holy shit. What the heck?

What's going on?

There's someone at your door.

What the...?

Where does your dad keep his gun?

In the closet.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

Please tell me this is you guys.

No, it's fucking not, Randy. It's okay. Shh.

Yeah, there's people in front of our house.

They just cut the power.

Highway 103--1967.

-Shh. -Okay, hurry.

Stop playing around!

Show your faces before I blow 'em off!

Zack!

Shh! Zack!

Shit! Give me that strobe light, Gary.

Zack!

Oh God. Oh God.

I think I want to go home.

Did you guys hear that? Yeah, I did.

Jenn, did you hear that? Hear what?

Gary!

--Gary!

Help! Hel-- let me out! Hey!

Hey hey!

Help! Help me!

Jenn, help! Help!

Jenn, help!

Help, Jenn, help!

Help.

Help help!

Gary!

Do you see him? I can't see anything.

Come here, Tank.

Hey, boy. Oh, good boy.

Randy, help me.

I think I need to go to the hospital.

Listen, you're fine. Just don't look at it.

Okay. Fuck. Come on, Tank.

You need to give me Tank. Come on, dog!

Gary!

Holy shit, Gary!

Holy shit! Come on. Come on, bud.

Randy, help me get him on the dock.

Come on.

Help me.

Come on. Come on, Randy.

Help him out.

-You got him? -Lift his legs.

--Pull!

Shit.

Is he okay? I don't know. He's not breathing.

Shit. Shit.

I don't think he's fucking breathing.

Come on, Gary, wake up. What do I do?

Uh, CPR! CPR! Come on. How?

-How? How fucking-- -Um... tilt his head back and pump his chest.

Come on, bud. Come on, bud. Breathe in his mouth.

Hurry up!

Come on, Gary! Oh shit!

Hurry hurry hurry! Come on! Come on, bud!

Put your mouth on his mouth. Come on, Gary!

Jesus Christ! Come on, Gary!

Come on, Gary! Get up!

Go 9Q!

Run!

Go! Run! Go!

Come here, boy! Tank, hurry!

Hurry! Tank!

Come on, Randy! Go go go go!

Right behind you.

Okay, Tank. Come here, Tank. Come here.

Gar!!! are you okay? Are you okay?

Talk to me.

What are those things?

I don't know. I don't know.

Shh shh.

Fuck.

Shh!

Oh shit! Get down.

Shit. Get down. Get down.

Get down.

Oh, thank fuck! The cops are here.

Go go! Shit!

We're over here! We're over here!

We're over here!

Help! Where the fuck did they go?

Help! What do we do?

No!

Please! What the fuck?

Tank, Tank, Tank.

Buddy, are you okay? Are you okay?

Everything's gonna be okay, buddy.

Randy! Randy?

Randy, please!

Gary, stay close to--

Run! Run!

Run, Gary!

Come on, Gary. Hurry! Run!

Get in. Get in. Get in. Get in.

Are You okay, Gary? Are you okay?

I'm scared. I know.

It's gonna be okay.

Get up the ladder. Here, I'll give you Tank.

Get up the ladder. Take him.

Come on, Tank.

Gary!

Oh my God!

Jenn!

Gary!


Help! Help!

Tank, don't let go of me!


In other words, I think I'm ready.

I know a lot of you know my mother and I just wanted to make sure that you guys know that she supports my decision.

Okay, now, it's time for me to make a tape for myself.

Thanks for watching.


Baby?

What are you doing?