Vigilante Diaries (2016) Script

Vigilante Diaries




You know, I realize I haven't kept you up to speed... on everything, but, uh, the situation on the ground has, uh, changed, hasn't it?

This is the part of the story where Dr. Frankenstein looks out at the burning village and all the dead bodies and he thinks about his creation and he says, "What-what the fuck was I thinking?"

How did those guys save the world?

Jesus Christ.

It all started ten years ago, the last mission.

Man on radio: Say, we got that fix, Argon.

It appears to be working now. We're back at...

Man on radio: guys off one by one.

You got the, uh, huge force that's moving, all armed.

We did see shots fired. Affirmed.

Roger that. Roger.


Man: Take cover!


Look out for that bomb!

All right, let's go! Move! Move!








Cover! Cover! Cover! Cover! Cover!

12:00 o'clock! Watch 'em!

Watch that left!


Check the roof out!

Incoming! Incoming left!


Got a bird! A bird!

Take 'em out! Take 'em out!

Hold them here. I'll go for the package.

Remember, you still owe me ten Gs, can'! die yet.

See you on the side. Men, RPG!

Move out!

We've got a man down! Man down!




Wolfman, you copy?

WOLFMAN: Copy! Meet you on the south side!

I'm on my way.

'Bout to have contact!

MAN ON RADIO: Somebody's moving from the south. Over.


That's Commander Motherfucker to you.

Now, let's just find a way I could let you two fools walk out of here for old times' sake.

What the fuck are you doing here?

I'm working. What the fuck are you doing here?

Saving the world, man? When you gonna learn?


Go on, tactical genius. See how this plays out.

Get out of here. I got this.

Wha... Yeah, go ahead.

Just... just run off, man.


(SIGHS) Oh, come on, man.

You're not still on that old shit, are you?

I owe you one.

Man, you need to let shit go and grow the fuck up.

I ain't got no time for this shit.

Oh, you gonna make time today.


Yeah. Extraction's ready.

Nah, just some checkers showed up to a chess game.

It'll be..



Now, was that shit necessary?

Enjoy your evening.

He fuckin' played us.

Nearly seven months has passed since the last sighting of the infamous self-made superhero known as The Vigilante.

Made headlines last year when he allegedly killed a rising Armenian syndicate.


And with his disappearance, the city's crime rates have risen by 40%.

Michael Hanover's web videos went viral after being the only person to capture The Vigilante in action.

The question is, where is The Vigilante?






La-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la

La-la la-la la-la na-na na-na na-na ♪ Bam!

♪ La-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la ♪ Bam!




ls that it? WOMAN: No.

Unfortunately, that's no! it.


That'll make it fun.

I hear they call you The Vigilante.

Is that correct?

Is that correct?

Fuck you. Ah.

You can take pain. I like that.

There's a very pissed off Armenian boss who sent me.

You killed his baby brother.

And this is when he saw you, Mike Hanover, the filmmaker.

And now he wants you to suffer... badly.

He will find Mike next.

You had no idea you were at war with the Armenian mob, did you? (CHUCKLES)

When was the last time you were touched like this, hmm'?

Fuck you.









Please, I told you.


I just party with Mike. That's all.

I don't know where he goes.

I don't know what he does!

I'll tell you what he does, this fucking joke.

He puts videos on the Internet making this man to be a hero.

That fucking psycho that killed my baby brother.

But they said The Vigilante's gone, right?

That he's dead!

That's no! good enough.

You know, they sell T-shirts with his face on 'em, and I have to look at that shit in the street.

Ah! Mike Hanover.

Now, tell me where he is.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Please. Shh.


You luck like shit.

Yeah, you do look like shit.

Come on, bitch. That's right, bitch.

Motherfucker! Die, motherfucker!




Die! Die!

Die already!

Fucking dick! Die, mother...


Ew! Gross! Gross, gross! Come on!


Shit, man! I don't know where you been!


Oh, God. (SPITS)


That's me, Mike Hanover, and I just killed a man in a taco shop bathroom.

Hey, but he started it.

I been hiding near the border looking for The Vigilante, and hit men are on my ass.

Wait. ls that how I really run'?

Anyway, I had cars, chicks, a badass crib, and now I got this piece-of-shit ice cream truck, and we're on the run from the Armenian mob.

It all started seven months ago with a documentary I was making.

Okay, here's (he backstory, so pay attention.

That's The Vigilante, the big dude.

The big dude right there mowing down bad guys and shit.

You met him as a Special Forces in the prologue.

Not anymore.

Now he is running the streets and taking out fuckin' drug dealers, gangs, you name it.

He has a sidekick, too.

They call him The Kid.

Look, I got to tag along and document some missions, throw it up on the Web, and that's what made this guy Internet famous.

This last video was at a heroin lab where they were using little kids as drug mules.

Can you believe that shit'? It was fucked up.

So Vigilante was capping dudes left and right.

Then he sent me and The Kid to hang back at his safe house while he cleaned up the mess, but this was no ordinary safe house.

Oh, no, It had chicks, titties, and it had Jade, his numero uno lady.

She was like the Alfred to his Batcave, and they were this crazy, badass couple.

She ran shit, but I should have been watching out for Red.

That's right. This little hot chick that worked for Jade.

I was blinded by that ass.

After that, we went back to the heroin spot to pick up The Vigilante, but it was still crawling with bad guys and shit, and he was after these guys something fierce.

The Armenian mob and him had beef like a motherfucker, and shit was about to hit the fan.


(GROANS) Shit.



Get your hands up! Don't fuckin' move!

Mike: Then it all made sense.

They wanted him there to get his ass out in the open.

It was a setup.

No one's seen or heard from The Vigilante since.

After all that that, he was just gone, just like that.

When The Kid and I came back to find the safe-house girls dead, we knew it.

We knew it was a setup.

(TABLET VIBRATING) Oh, shit, it's Jade right here.

This network secure?

MIKE: Look, they might be able to hack into my porn, but other than that, we're good.

Good. You feeling okay?

I'm fine. Are you sure?

I said I'm fine. You don't look so hot, all right'?

I mean, you're still hot. I'd bang the shit out of you...

Mike, shut up! Listen to me. Okay, what?

Intel over the Mexican cartel feeds have them holding an American captive for the Armenian mob.

Could be him. Shit!

Yeah. No other reason why the Armenians and Mexicans could be working together.

The Kardashians could be having a quinceañera.

I know a guy that can help.

You know a guy? Yeah, I know a guy, all right?

Gay Barry. He got me out of a few jams in L.A.

That's what he does.

You know, he's just one of those connected dudes.

I didn't know if he was C.I.A. or worked for the Apple Store, but he just knows shit.

I guarantee he knows some Call of Duty-type dudes.

I'll send someone over now.

Who? Don't worry about it.

The less you know, the better. Okay, as long as the dude is cool, he'll be fine, all right?

Barry's a little weird.

Weird? Eccentric.



There's someone here for Barry!


You interrupted my swim lesson.

This is Jake. He's my swim coach.

Jake, go in the house.

Wipe that oil off before you sit on the couch.

Okay '.

Bro, you know why the fuck I'm here. You gonna help me or not?

I would help you if you'd learn some manners.

You can't just walk around like you're Baby Blade and break into people's homes.

What's up with Generation Me?

None of you guys give a shit about anything.

You gonna help me or not? Okay, I'll help you.

But first, Marta, get him a sugar-free Red Bull.

Oh, my... (SPEAKS SPANISH) Really?


He's not here to fuck me.


Half of what you said is not in my Rosetta Stone.


It's kind of... It's almost like an arranged thing.


Let's just go in the house. Marta!

I want my fucking burrito after my meeting.

So, Vigilante, huh?

I like his work.

Actually, when Mike called me, I got a boner for it.

Didn't say you'd be coming, though.

Yeah, Jade likes lo keep us separate.

Safer that way. Yeah, smart girl.

So, how did it work?

Were you in the Big Brother program, and Vigilante just walks in and says, "I'll take the black one"?

Fuck you. Touchy, are we?

What is all this'! Every tactical op in the state...

F.B.I., C.I.A., A.T.F., some-even some chatter from local terrorist cells, loo.

I just monitor it, look for patterns.

For what?

Hey, just because I don't get up at dawn anymore and do pushups doesn't mean I don't love my country.

You ever heard of SEAL Team Six'? You were a SEAL?

Yeah, I was a SEAL.

"Don't ask, don't tell," it's fucking bullshit.

Besides, I'm still doing my part to keep assholes like you safe.

Oh, here it is.

Okay, now the last thing we got from Mike has your boy right here just south of the border in Mexico.

I know the perfect guys for this.

Ex-Blackwater studs, bored and badass.

They'll do this. How you know they'll do it'?

Trust me. They'll do it.

Marta! What?

Get the car! Oh, no, no, no.


I can't get a divorce. It's par! of my cover.


♪ Straight savage, the boy revs macho ♪

♪ See me stackin' chips, say cheese, no nachos

♪ Girl, I'm 'bout make it rain, get a poncho ♪

♪ Pablo Picasso, a modern life Rocko ♪

♪ Smooth gem, niggas can't stop 'em ♪

♪ When I come through, they play dead like possums...♪♪ Hey, think someone's here for you. Hey, what's up?

Gay Barry!

Wolfman. Gay Barry, man!

What the fuck, man? We gotta talk.

I got us a gig. It's big.

Let's do this, man. Let's talk.

It's huge, like 12 inches.

(CHUCKLES) Come on, man.

Let's go talk, man. You need to...

You look good. You been training? Don't touch me, man.

Mexico? Just the border.

You have positive l.D.'! Enough.

And you can trust the intel? (SCOFFS)

Who's paying?

Rich white kid from the B.H.

He's got the money, trust me.

He'll meet you guys in Tecate, blitz extraction.

You'll be back in the U.S. before you know it. It's all good.

What's going on here? Time to go back to work.

Chillax, he's with me. Gentlemen, meet Kid.

(CHUCKLES) ls you going black now, Barry?

Once you go black, man... Hey, fuck you, man.

Now, chill out, little toy soldier.

A little badass, this one, huh?

(LAUGHS) This little badass is Vigilante's sidekick. Don't call me his fucking sidekick.

Look, Barry says you all are who we need to get this done.

The Vigilante's being held at the border by the cartels, and I need some more guns.

Simple as that. What do you think, Geek?

If the intel's solid, I'm game.

I like paydays.-

It's true. Mexicans like paydays. (LAUGHTER)

Oh, come on. Mucho dinero, right'?

Oh, come on. I'm just kidding.

So, what's up? Can we do this or what?

There's only one thing I like doing more than chicks.

It's making money.






What the fuck are you doing?


What the fuck are you... Hey.

He was our brother.

You're ignoring your business, my business.

You need to end this.

Just kill that motherfucker and get it on with.

But we're not done yet.

I want the man who made The Vigilante a hero.

You bring us down.

But I run this family.

(ECHOING) Take the shot.

Two males.

Cannot confirm l.D. MAN: Green on both.

L-I have names, contacts.

I can help you.


What the fuck? He was still alive.

That's your fault. You hesitated on your trigger pull.

We could have got names out of him.

He was the name.

What are you doing? They're gonna be coming any minute.

Ain't nobody coming in here. What are you talking about?

You were gonna pull on me there, weren't you'?

I saw it in your eyes.


Your training's far from over, son. Let's face it.


I'm fuckin' hungry.

Let's go gel some breakfast.


(ECHOING) If he's too good at what he does, it can come back lo haunt you.

Man's gotta be careful nowadays.

If he's too good at what he does, it can come back lo haunt you.

Whole world's in an upheaval.

Sometimes when you're needed, you gotta take care of business.


Your identity's gonna be erased from all the databases, foreign and domestic.

It'll be like you were never even born, like you never existed.

You understand your commitment?

And there is no discharge from this service, son.

You're never gonna live a normal life again.

You're a stone-cold killer... plain and simple.

No family, no next of kin.

EVERYBODY': gonna want you.

C.I.A., Rangers, SEALS... this ain't like that at all.

Those fellas get to go home at night, see their families, kiss their wives, and play with their kids, build that little white fence around the house, and, you know, sing hallelujah.

Your country needs you, plain and simple.

You follow? I do.

All right. Good luck.

Woman: Time to wake up, handsome.

You'll like this.



That smells good.

What happened to you?

What happened to the tough guy that's always in the news, hmm?


You are a fucking nobody.

You couldn't cut it with the military or the feds.

(CELL PHONE RINGS) Look who it is.

Can that piece of shit hear me?


Hey, Mr. Vigilante, or whatever the fuck your real name is.

You're a trophy now, not a person.

I want to know something.

Was it worth it?


Except for that stupid look on your brother's face when I put a bullet in it.

Please send me videos.

Will do.

This is going to be fun.






I guess it's not your time.


That's how we say good-bye in London.



Spread out! Find him!

I'll take the back! Barry! Cover Geek!



You got this.

You motherfuckers! This is Gucci!


Shit, you the motherfucker we been looking for.

You still owe me ten Gs. You remember that?

Now's not the time.

We have to go now.


You good'! All good.


I believe this is yours.

I thought it'd be bigger.


Yeah! Holy shit! Aw, fuck!


Shit, Jade, they fuckin' did it! They got him!

We got him! He's okay!

They did it! Copy that.

Man, you should... It was insane!

You should have seen this shit, the action.

There was RPGs and there was land mines and fuckin' night vision and fuckin' machine...


I even saw fuckin' kuh-tai-sin!

Kuh-to-sin! It was fucking awesome!

Mike, shut up. Oh, my God, wait! The Kid!

The Kid was with them! I know. I know.

Wait. What? You know'? Of course. I've always known.

What did I say?

Safer to keep us separate.

Anyway, now that he's back, it'll all be okay now.

Things will be different.

(STATIC) and we can move... move on.

Jade! Jade!

The hell?

Holy shit. Red!

Get out of the ice cream truck. I thought you were dead.

Shut up. Now.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? You really are an idiot.

(SLURRING) Why would you go to the...

WOMAN: He's not gonna talk. (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)


I have the package.

Enough with the military lingo.

I'm a civilian now. I'm tired of hearing that shit.

Now, you kidnapped the rich kid, right?

Now don't say affirmative. Say yes.

Yes. I'm bringing him to you.

Nah, fuck, no.

Your boyfriend, the dude that looks like Dracula, he still wants revenge, right?

So bring the rich kid to him. Let him have some fun.

The Vigilante's still on the streets.

Good. That fucking gorilla draws so much attention.

Let the cops and the feds hunt his ass.

We can get to him.

No, no, no, no. I have plans for him.

Now, is that it? Yeah.

Enjoy your evening.


About that uranium...

I don't... I don't know anything.

I don't know. You heard him!

Where is it? (WHIRRING)



(MAN FADING IN) You made a commitment.

(ECHOING) I didn't beg you for that.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

You should get that looked at, you know.

Soon, yeah.

What the fuck happened over there?

Nothing you need to know about. It's my life.

I'd like to know what the fuck is going on.

Your life?

It's not your life anymore.

You gave that to me.

That belongs to me now.

You made a commitment. I didn't beg you for that.

You don't remember, do you?

That was different.

It was for my country.

Now it's for the world.

All you gotta remember is infiltrate, pull the trigger, and get the fuck out.

Outside of that, there's nothing more to talk about.

And if we've reached an impasse, there's gonna be a conclusion that you're not gonna like one bit.

I should've seen this coming.

I saw your psyche masts, you know.

Propensity for rebellion and challenge of authority and, uh, borderline bipolar and all that, you know.

Look, I don't need to hear that fuckin' shit now. Come on.

It's been a short time, okay? Get used to it.

You haven't been around that long.

I don't wanna, you know, put down your worldview, but, uh, it's never been about, uh, good versus the bad.

It's about keeping the powerful in power.

There's no out for you. There's no out for me.

There's only the next mission.





This is what you did with that Arab cash.

We be diversifying, man. I be flipping cars.

Tex be making tamales and selling them.

And dude right here, man, he opened up a gym.

What's the name of your gym? XPC? DFG?

EPX. We got a problem.

I just got this.

What the fuck?

How'd they get him?

Mike had to open up to communicate with us about the feed.

They were watching. They found him.

VIGILANTE: Jesus. Who's they?

The entire Armenian mob.

They don't like me.

Nobody likes you. Those dudes don't play.

Half of 'em ex-military. Your boy's dead.

Wolfman, the fucking white guy, The Armenians, all that shit, ain't none of our fuckin' business.

We did our job.

Here we are, and there he is safe and sound.

Just show me the fuckin' money.

There is no money if he fuckin' dies!

This fuckin' white guy is the one who's paying.

I suggest you start planning a rescue operation.

From the Armenian mob? BARRY: Yeah.

That's not a rescue. That's war.

Look, I'll take a rain check for saving your ass, but this rich douche bag who own daddy won't pay to save him... that ain't on us, man, that's... that's your shit.

It is on me. Just me.

I need wheels.

Got you.

Gear's in the back.

You know where Mike Hanover is. Of course I know where he's at.

Planted a tracker on that dumb-ass the day I met him.

The only person I trust is that big motherfucker over there.



So, what's up? We getting paid?

(CHUCKLES) The dude still owe me ten Gs.

Nobody get paid around him.


What is that? It's close.

There's his ass right there, that black BMW.

Vigilante: All right, give him space.

He's going in mat garage. I got him.

Hang back.

What the fuck is this?

It's a setup! Go! Move!



Stop... stop moving.


(GUN CLATTERS) You're dead.

I'll kill you.




♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪




Someone wants to say hello.

Oh, Dad, come on!

Can you two please stop?

Stop what?

Stop this?


Look, tell your boss I have what he wants.

Dad, look, don't pay.

You know how much I used to pay to get tied up and get this kind of treatment?

Jesus fucking Christ. Can you believe this kid?

No, no, no, listen. Have you seen the ass on this one'?

Right? She's hot, and she's Asian!

Michael, will you shut up?

Shut the fuck up!

Look, tell that fuckin' Armenian I got his money, and I'm sending it now.

This idiot's really your son?

Yes, that idiot is really my son.

Raven... make our guest feel at home.

MIKE: So, anyway, r-really, though, what's your name?

Listen, whatever my dad's paying you, I'll pay you double.

Now all I... all I want to do is just have a little fun here.

This is going to be fun.

It will be fun. (CHUCKLES) ls that what you're saying?

You're agreeing to my terms? Oh, yes.

Yeah, I have a camera we can use. A little video?

What shall I do to you next, you naughty boy?

Sit on my face? Oh.


We ain't gonna let you go by yourself, man.

You're still easy to track.

This one's not gonna be pretty.

It never is.


Hello, ladies. Come on in.

Right in here. See me later, okay?

Ugh. Look at these idiots.

Halloween's next month. Come back then.




How we doing? Fine.

I'll be right back.



You like that, don't you, you little shit?

All right! Look, that's my boys coming, all right'?

So why don't you just untie me and just run?

But first, give me your email.


(woman 985953.

You fucking idiot. (CHUCKLES)

Where are we going? To the sky, baby.

Hey, what you always doing on the floor?

Fucking piece of shit got away.

Let's go get your boy.

I'll call for a pick up.


Just look, man. Shit.

All right, look, look, hold up!

Why don't we ju... Give me that, you little shi...

Wait! Ohh! {groaning}

(GROANS) Pull this out. Let me pull it out.

(GROANS) I'm sorry. How is it?

Is that better? Give...

Ah, shit! Not again!

What the fuck are you doing? What up, bro'?!

Wha... This isn't what it looks like, bro.

It's not at all what it looks like, all right?

Like, dude, I knew you would come!

Dude, man, it is so good to see you, bro.

What the fuck's going on here, man? Another sidekick?

Dude, he's my sidekick.

Fair enough. Hey! No, no. We good.

We gotta go, man. We gotta go. Let's go.

That's awesome, dude. You got a "V" on you!

Symbol and shit. That's dope.


Give me the guns, you freakin' lunatics!

You can't have these in the streets!

I'll get you next time. All right, man.

Next time, right. Hey, dude. Get back, man.


Mike! Can you see me?


If it wasn't for that goddamn documentary...

Look, kid, just come home.

Home home?

You need anything?

I think I'll be all right.


Yeah. Hot on patrol?

Every fuckin' day. What do you want, Moreau?

Think of this as a common courtesy call

(0 a former protégé, that's all.

I'm hanging UP-

You know, I told you a long time ago, it's not about right or wrong, okay?

L... I think, you know, you decided somewhere along the way to use your infinite powers to start a war, to go solo.

You wanted a war, well, now you got one, don't you'?

But you went too far, went too public, went after the guys who are paying the bills.

What's gonna happen (hen? They're gonna call me, right?

Good. I'll be looking out for you.

Yeah, that's nice, but, uh, you got a lot more to worry about than that, you know, family and all. Family?

What the fuck are you talking about'! (CHUCKLING)

Oh, the infamous Vigilante gone soft.

Is that it?





You said you're comin' after me'! Don't bother.

I'm on my way.

I'll be right here waiting.



I think you still have a soft spot for that maniac.

That's a very dangerous man, and you just took his fuckin' wife.

No, we just took his fuckin' wife.

I'm gonna disappear for a while, 'kay?

And so should you.

(SCOFFS) Man, I'm a businessman. I got work to do.

Besides, I'm not worried about your boy right now.

I'll keep his attention far away from me for a while, send his ass to Armenia.

(SIGHS) Let's remove Mr. Moreau from my contact list.

WOMAN: Copy that. Make a left over here.


You know, agents will flip-flop, and ops will go sideways.

Best laid plans can turn into a gigantic clusterfuck.

It happens.

So I had to improvise and, um, rein things in... without declaring our asset a total loss.

I tried everything I could think of to... get him on a leash and...

But he's feral, Christ.

That's another word for a stray animal.

Or a rogue or a ronin or...

(CHUCKLES) Whatever the fuck you wanna call him, but, uh... you know, I trained him right, and, uh...

once he's dead set...

there ain't no stopping him.

And that is a fuckin' fact.



I need information.

All right.

You're not gonna drink?

You gonna help me or not?

Okay '.

Let's go.


I've been trying to forget that shit.




MAN: You sent your dogs all the way out here to my home to fuck with me?

When is this game over'! When I'm done playing.

I am done playing.

The chess pieces don't get to decide when the game is over, now, do they? No.

Somebody has to think it through, be three moves ahead before he moves one piece, and you are a very valuable piece, like my bishop.

I need you in the game.

What do you want?

I have what I want. I'm trusting you with it.

What is this?

That's my pawn.

She'll bring him right to you.

The American? Yep, your enemy.

The man who killed your brothers.

I will find him myself.

I don't need to kidnap babies to do it.

Why are you keeping me here?

Because I need you there, that's why.

And I need him there, too, alive and drawing fire in his direction.

See, the you-versus-him thing, that's just a diversion.

The real battle's bigger than both of you, and you're just a soldier, so take your fuckin' orders.

Fuckin' Count Chocula-looking motherfucker.

Sir. Just keep it going.


Woman on P.A.: Welcome to Westminster Station.

If you are riding the Piccadilly Line, mind the gap.

Next stop, Piccadilly Circus.

Well, there she is.

Give me a kiss.

Come on, that's what you do. We're in Europe.

What do you got for me?

I have information.

Come on. Let's go for a walk.

I just-Since getting here, I feel like shit.

It's always dark. It always rains.

And I know it sounds crazy, I kind of miss my wife.

What do you got for me?

Here. Come over here.

So, I've got good news, and I've got bad news.

The good news is I found Jade.

The bad news is she's in Yerevan, Armenia.

Fuck! Again with the Armenians?

That Andreas has a real hard-on for you.

You told me they were both dead, they died when the chopper blew up.

It was bad intel. I know.

You're gonna run into Red while you're there, too.

She's kind of runnin' the show down there.

She's a real bitch.

They sold my family to the Armenians.

You know it's a trap, right?

They're gonna fucking kill you.

I don't even know why you're going.

Thanks for this. No problem, man.

All right, good luck.

I hope you don't die.


So you are his girl, huh?

You know he killed my cousins, too?

If I find out you were involved in it, I will come back and smash your neck just like this.



But, you know, I'm a good babysitter as well.



Can I help you? I can't babysit this thing forever.

Is that what you came in here to say?

This is fucking bullshit.

BARRY: Welcome to Yerevan. It's nice, huh?

Okay, look right there. See the big guy'?

That's The Lion. That's Andreas' bodyguard.

Follow him, and you'll find Andreas.

Find Andreas, and you'll find your family.

A kid will approach you tonight at the opera house.

Okay, ciao.






How the fuck do you shut this up? Give her to me.

I can't. Give her to me. She's hungry.

I said no.

Red, give me the baby.

You work for me.

Not anymore.








My soul.

I sold my soul.



They're ready for you.

They need you.

Go without me.

I need you.


♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Roll out the carpet ♪

♪ Bring out the bottles ♪


Comin' from L.A., baby, we call it loathsome ♪

♪ Armenian, American ♪

My people rolled up with a caravan ♪

(CHEERING) - ♪ Benz is parked out front

♪ Crazy always over here, maybe you'll give me a son

♪ One time for my brothers in the game ♪

♪ Do the damn thing, man, taking names, makin' money by the ton ♪

♪ I'ma do the same, baby, swear to put it down to the fullest

♪ Long as I got breath up in my lungs ♪

And I'd like to make a toast, this one is for my folks ♪

Y'all doin' the most to try to get close, honey, don't overdose... ♪♪



You ready to go to work, Short Round?


Holy shit, bro.

It was a boring conversation, anyway.


This is fucking ridiculous.

I agree. This is fucking ridiculous.

Don't make a scene.

And, you, this isn't gonna be like last time.

This is gonna be all three of us leaving together, and you take me right to them.

Now move.


Somebody help me!

Please! I feel sick!


I feel sick.

(SPEAKING ARMENIAN) I don't feel good.


Mommy's here.


You are fucking dead. I heard that before.

You will never... Shut the fuck up.

You don't get to talk.


Don't even think about it. We've been here before.


Just tell me where she is.

I don't think so.

You think I'm playing? No, I don't.

A-Andreas, don't... don't do this!

Get down! Get down!






Just fucking great!




Go right! Go right!



(WHISPERS) What the fuck?


I got this motherfucker!





Where is she?

Where's my family?




You know it's not aver.

I know.


You just land'! Yeah.

Where are they? Safe.

What the fuck is going on?

Desmond Barrington is what the fuck's going on.

Harrington's behind this shit?

Desmond Barrington was behind the whole thing.

He played you. He played the Armenians.

He's been behind it the whole fucking time, man.

And now, he's getting paid to tip the global scales.

Where's Barrington now'? He's here in Los Angeles.

Look, you're gonna see him tonight at a high rollers game, okay?

You're gonna have to look slick, none of that Call of Duty armor bullshit, okay?

You got a tux? Tux? Why?

New Kid will fill you in. Wait. The New Kid?

Yeah. You can thank me later.

Barry vouched for you?

No. Barry vouched for you.

I'm The New Kid.

All right.

Run it by me again.

Members only. No guns.

Metal detectors and pat-downs.

Harrington's in there tonight celebrating some deal he's about to close.

I get us in, we find him, isolate him, squeeze him for intel, then we pop him.

No, we don't pop a guy like Barrington.

Your call.

You wearing that? Nah, brah.

All right. Let's go.

♪ Unh ♪ ♪ What, what... ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Mighty Hye ♪

♪ Nazo Bravo ♪

♪ What, what... ♪ I Ah, yo

♪ Unh, unh ♪

♪ I'm the sh..., baby, focus ♪

♪ You don't know who you're dealing with? Focus

♪ They can try, but they'll never take my focus ♪

♪ Mighty Hye, we always stay in focus

♪ Got these chickens on my bumper 'cause I'm focused

I'm the future of this mother..., focus ♪

'Round the world, they notice how we focus

♪ You ain't heard? Well, you ain't really focused ♪

Unh, got 'em saying, "Who that?" ♪

♪ I'm the sh..., but you already knew that ♪

♪ Don't need no racks just to make 'em move that ♪

♪ I'ma chop 'em down, let me put on two hats

♪ Ladies love me, got scratches on my back

♪ Yeah, scratches on my back, sc-scratches on my back ♪

♪ All because of how I do this when I'm rapping on a track

♪ Nut like you... ♪ So you a member of this club'! I haven't decided yet.

Hmm. When are you gonna decide?

Hey, look, I'm gay, all right?


♪ Gave 'em hope when the situation's hopeless... ♪ We good?

It's gonna get ugly, you know? I got this.

He'll like that.

♪ I'm the sh..., baby, focus ♪

♪ You don't know who you're dealing...♪♪



Haven't seen you here before.

I've seen you.

Is that right? Mm-hmm.


Don't say a fucking word until I say so.

You know, guns are not allowed in here.

So where'd you hide that one?

Don't worry about it.

And before my buddy comes over here and ruins everything, you're gonna tell me what's going down tonight.

(CHUCKLES) Who might your buddy be?

Oh, let me guess.

That psycho who thinks he's a hero, huh?


Fuck it. Go ahead, right'?

I deserve it.

I did just get paid a billion dollars to set off nuclear IEDs all over the city.

Why don't you call that off before I shoot you in the head?

Better me than my friend.

Nah, 'cause now it's time for my friend to come and ruin everything.

You chose the wrong trick, bitch.

As much as I'm into the girl-on-girl action, I'd like to stay here and watch, but you're dead already.

Everyone in here is.

Enjoy your evening.

Where are you going?

Come and get it.

Oh, I plan on it, bitch.



MAN ON RADIO: Security, guy a! the bar, take him out now!

No guns! Tasers only! (CRACKLES)



See, bitch? I do my fucking job!

(GAGGING) You...



Barry on radio: Comm check. Get outside.

The Kid has Barrington's driver.

I'm just driving! I don't know anything!

Tell me! I don't know!

(SCREAMS) Okay, okay!

One more time, motherfucker! L.A. Live, P5.

There's a bomb in Bentley, old-school.

You have to defuse by hand.

Fuck, you okay?

Harrington's on foot. He's got IEDs set all over the city.

He's got the abort codes on his phone.

Make the call. You take care of that.

Barry on radio: Okay, it's game time, guys.

All right, we can't let Harrington get away.

World, like, literally depends on it.

Kid, where are we at? This is the parking garage.

Find the Bentley, P5.

The L.A. bomb's just a diversion, guys.

He's taking out cities all over the world.

Yeah, well, even his diversion's gonna level downtown.

We've got no time. This comes first.

Oh, relax. I got a guy on it.

(BEEPING) Aw, hell, nah.

Hey, man, you got me out here all dressed up.

Man, I'm lookin' fly as hell tonight, man.

I was supposed to bathe bomb.

You didn't tell me that there was a real bomb!

What am I supposed to do with this shit, man?

I ain't messing my uncle's tux.

Barrington: Click, click, motherfucker.

Now toss your shit.


What you go! going on here'! Mall cop, get the fuck out of here.

This is a dirty bomb. Still can't park here.

I ain't playing with you. This shit can fuck up the whole city.

So, that's an actual bomb?

Damn right.

Okay '.

Yo, what's up, man? How this gonna go down'?

Walk me through this shit. BARRY: Walk you through it?

I thought you were demo!

Look, I'm too busy to help you out, all right?

I'm getting pings from all over the world...

New York, Sydney, Hong Kong, Mumbai.

If Vigilante doesn't gel Barrington, we are fucked!

We're so fucked!

Vigilante has to get to Barrington's cell.

That's where the codes are at. It's inside his jacket pocket.


Still don't understand how things work, do you?

I guess I don't work that way.

Clearly. That's why your gun's over there.


Ah, fuck.


You think I'm a bad guy.


You ever heard of the trolley problem?

Fuckin' trolley?

It's 2016, man, there's fucking Uber.

No, the trolley problem. It's a dilemma.

Okay, there's a runaway trolley on a track.

There's five people tied to that track.

Now, there's one person tied to another track, and there's a switch that diverts the trolley, okay?

Now, do you let nature take its course and let those five people get killed by that trolley, or do you flip the switch?

See, me... I flip the switch every time, whether it's 500,000 people saving 500 million.

You get it?

That makes you feel good?



Vigilante: That bomb downtown...

I got a "Hurt Locker" genius working on it right now.

There's no bomb he can't defuse.

Oh, baby Jesus, please help me.

Why do these wires gotta be so small?

Such thick fingers. Man, shut up!

I don't think you're supposed to sweat on those like that.

You gonna do the red wire? It's always the red wire in movies.

Are you a bomb specialist? No, but 17...

No, no, don't do that. 15...

Shut up! Don't do that! 13...

Shut up! Shut up. Stay calm, stay calm.

15 seconds! Stay calm! Shut up!

Fuck it.

Ha ha! Booyah! (LAUGHING) That worked'?!

What's my name?! What's my name?! I don't know!

Oh, my God. We saved the city!

L-l saved the city. You saved the city!


I saved the city, man. You fuckin' saved the city!

I did it! I did it! My black person.

(LAUGHS) Watch your mouth.

(SIGHS) L.A.'s good. Barry, where we at?

Hey, good job, Wolfie, but let's not jerk each other off just yet, 'cause the main event's about to go live worldwide.

Shit! Am I seeing this right'?

There's surges all over.

That Pakistani guy you chopped up...


(WHIRRING) I don't know.

These guys ain't too happy about it.

(GUNS COCKING) Get in the car!

Get in the fucking car!


New Kid: Tell me you've got that phone!

He did and took an arm for it, didn't you? Ouch.

Here's (he abort hack. Go.

Man on radio: We've got Barrington. He's safe.

Where to now, boss? We head outside the blast radius and get ready for detonation.

That motherfucker.

VIGILANTE: These are ready to launch, man, right now!

(BEEPING) BARRY: 1-1 -3-8. Type it in.

Okay, I got it. 1-1... What's your deal?

I got it.

Oh, shit!

Fuck, I had it upside down. BARRY: Are you serious?!

Oh, my God! Come on! We're responsible for the apocalypse!

Bye-bye, London. Tokyo, you're gone.

I don't even want to watch. I don't even want lo watch.

I don't even want to watch.

Ho... holy shit, we did it!

Ha! We did it!

(SIGHS) Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

Hey, guys, I'm gonna give you all BJs!

We saved the fuckin' world, man. I'm coming to get you, V.

The Vigilante is definitely back.

A bloodbath tonight at a downtown Los Angeles nightspot.

Over here outside a downtown nightclub...

The Vigilante... El Vigilante...

Vigilante! Vigilante!

Continuing coverage tonight.

I'm joined by Mike Hanover, web filmmaker, famous for his viral hit, "The Vigilante Diaries," and it appears that The Vigilante is back.

That's right. He's back. I'm back. We're back, man.

I'm the guy behind the guy.

That was me. I put him on the Web.

I made his (BLEEP) famous. That's right.

So what about the reports we're hearing that The Vigilante saved the city?

Uh, he saved the city. I saved the city.

That's what we do, all right? We save (BLEEP).

Last month, we saved the city from a mob, a big mob.

And you know what, he went overseas without me, and I'm not gonna hold that against you, Vigi, but, you know what, I like fish and chips and pints and all that good stuff.

But I'm here holding down the fort.

I'm here in (he City of Angels.

You know Bond's guy, the intel guy?

I'm that guy, but I'm better. That's right. Umph!

Okay, we'll keep this on topic.

So, does that mean that you're still involved in The Vigilante's affairs?

That's what I've been saying.

I'm always involved, involved some way, one way or another, right?

So, Vigi, hit me up, man. I'm ready for that next mission.

I got a new camera. I can document the (BLEEP) out of it!

And you can come, too, if you want, girl.

Uh, okay. Uh, thanks.

Uh, we're gonna toss it back to the studio.

Tossing... salad.

MAN: That's one hell of a story. Yeah, it's damn good, isn't it'?

One more for my colleague over here.

I gotta know...

100% that you're in.

You know you should have had me in the loop from the start, right'?

Yeah. Yeah.

Could have saved you a lot of time and money.

Lot of motherfuckers would still be alive, too.


Yeah, then there's that.

But I wanted to do it my own way. Yeah.

If you wan! to catch Frankenstein's monster, you don't use Count Chocula or the Wolfman or the "Mommy."

"Mommy." Yeah, that's funny. Yeah.

You threw that in there.

You want to catch the monster, use the Invisible Man.

I'll bring him in.

Well, yeah, but make sure he's still alive, 'cause he's very fuckin' expensive.

Don't make a mess.

They came in before you did.


So... you want the guy playing with his phone, or the clown with the H.K. behind us pretending like he's drunk?

I think I'll take the guy on the phone.



Sorry about the mess.

I'll see you next time, bro.

I'm fucking hungry, man.

Let's go get something to eat.


♪ She gots a mop on top of her head ♪

♪ Ah, shoo-op, shoo-op... ♪ I really should get this looked at.

Come on, don't be a pussy. You're fine.


Hey. ' Hey-Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good. Oh, good.

Hey, listen, I'm kind of exhausted.

Can you please stop at the store for me?

I really need some diapers, some formula, but it has to be organic...

New Kid: Bro, you're a dad'?

A pacifier, um, Oh, you know...

There's a shipment of heroin and AK-4?s being smuggled into San Diego.

We can intercept it.

Two hour straight shoot down the 5.

She smiled at me today.

And, oh, her little dimple... Doughnut?

JADE: Hello? Are you there?

Hello? Hello?

♪ Unh, I'm the sh..., baby, focus ♪

♪ You don't know who you're dealing with? Focus ♪

♪ They can try, but they'll never take my focus ♪

♪ Mighty Hye, we always stay in focus ♪

♪ Got these chickens on my bumper 'cause I'm focused ♪

♪ I'm the future of this mother..., focus ♪

♪ 'Round the world, they notice how we focus ♪

♪ You ain't heard? Well, you ain't really focused ♪

♪ Unh, got 'em saying, "Who mat?"

♪ I'm the sh..., but you already knew that ♪

♪ Don't need no racks just to make 'em move that ♪

♪ I'm 'a chop 'em down, let me put on two hats ♪

♪ Ladies love me, got scratches on my back ♪

♪ Yeah, scratches on my back, sc-scratches on my back ♪

♪ All because of how I do this when I'm rapping on a track ♪

♪ Not like you, I go ham, y'all hamsters on a track ♪

Grasshopper, you're dealing with a locust ♪

♪ Spit that sh..., make 'em wanna quote this ♪

♪ You could learn something, go on, get your Post-its ♪

♪ Gave 'em hope when the situation's hopeless ♪

♪ Yo, dog, these kids is thinkin' that they go hard ♪

♪ We on that classic tip, though, James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart ♪

♪ Bravo making his, now see me go, talking to the mother... CEO ♪

♪ Ferocious, doser, dopeness, smoke this ♪

♪ Focus ♪

♪ I'm the sh..., baby, focus ♪

♪ You don't know who you're dealing with? Focus ♪

♪ They can try, but they'll never take my focus ♪

♪ Mighty Hye, we always stay in focus ♪

♪ Got these chickens on my bumper 'cause I'm focused ♪

♪ I'm the future of this mother..., focus ♪

♪ 'Round the world, they notice how we focus ♪

♪ You ain't heard? Well, you ain't really focused ♪

♪ Shouts to the bosses ♪

Runnin' things from they cellblocks as they office ♪

♪ Nazo Bravo got 'em stepping like some crawfish ♪

♪ But all you do is sit around and talk about other players, Bob Costas ♪♪



♪ I don't know what to say

♪ My mind just ain't the same ♪

♪ I took you to your grave

♪ It was such a sad day

♪ La la, la la, la la ♪

♪ I'll tell you like it is ♪

♪ La la, la la ♪

♪ I'll tell you like it is ♪

♪ La la, la la ♪

♪ I'll tell you like it is ♪

♪ La la, la la ♪

♪ You watch me from the sky ♪

I'll see you when I die

♪ The day that we reunite ♪

♪ There'll be peace in my mind ♪

♪ La la, la la, la la ♪

♪ I'll tell you like it is ♪

♪ La la, la la ♪

♪ I'll tell you like it is ♪

♪ La la, la la ♪

♪ I'll tell you like it is ♪

♪ La la, la la ♪♪


She gots a mop on top of her head

♪ Ah, shoo-wop, shoo-wop ♪

♪ Every night, she makes it look like it's dead ♪

♪ Ah, shoo-wop, shoo-wop ♪

♪ But her body makes it up for it all ♪

♪ Ah, shoo-wop, shoo-wop ♪

Maybe best girl I ever saw

♪ Ah, shoo-wop, shoo-wop ♪

♪ And the kind of mood I'm in ♪

♪ And the color blue, I'm in ♪

♪ And, baby, can I get just one kiss? ♪

♪ Ah, shoo-wop, shoo-wop ♪

♪ And I promise that it's something you'll miss ♪

♪ Oh, shoo-wop... ♪♪