Volunteers (1985) Script

And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you.

Ask what you can do for your country.

Ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

♪ Bom-ba-ba-bom ♪ ♪ ba-ba-ba-ba-bom ♪

♪ bom-ba-ba-bom ♪ ♪ ba-danga-dang-dang ♪

♪ ba-dingy-dong-ding ♪ ♪ blue moon, blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ doot-da-doot-da-doot ♪ ♪ blue, blue, blue, blue moon ♪

♪ doot-da-doooot-da-doot ♪ ♪ blue, blue, blue, blue moon ♪

♪ doot-da-doot-da-doot ♪ ♪ bom-ba-ba-bom-ba-bom ba-bom-bom ♪

♪ ba-ba-bom-ba-ba-bom ♪ ♪ ba-danga-dang-dang ♪

♪ dinga-dong-ding ♪ ♪ blue moon ♪

♪ you saw me standing alone ♪ ♪ - Blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ - without a dream in my heart ♪ ♪ - Blue moon ♪

♪ - blue moon ♪ ♪ - Without a love of my own ♪

♪ ba-ba-bom-ba-ba-bom ♪ ♪ ba-danga-dang-dang ♪

♪ dinga-dong-ding ♪ ♪ blue moon ♪

♪ - you knew just what I was there for ♪ ♪ - Blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ - you heard me saying a prayer for ♪ ♪ - Blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ someone I really ♪ ♪ could care for ♪

♪ and then there suddenly ♪

♪ appeared before me ♪

♪ the only one ♪

♪ my arms would ever hold ♪

♪ I heard somebody ♪

♪ whisper, "please adore me" ♪

♪ and when I looked ♪

♪ the moon, it turned to gold ♪

♪ - oh, oh, oh, blue moon ♪ ♪ - Blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ now I'm no longer alone ♪ ♪ - Blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ - without a dream in my heart ♪ ♪ - Blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ without a love of my own ♪

♪ ba-ba-bom-ba-ba-bom ♪ ♪ ba-danga-dang-dang ♪

♪ ba-dinga-dong-ding ♪ ♪ blue moon, blue moon, blue moon ♪

♪ dada-dada-doot ♪ ♪ blue, blue, blue, blue moon ♪

♪ doota-doota-doot ♪ ♪ blue, blue, blue, blue moon ♪

♪ doota-doota-doot ♪ ♪ bom-ba-ba-bom-ba-bom ba-bom-bom ♪

♪ ba-ba-bom ♪ ♪ ba-ba-bom. ♪

Very good, Lawrence.

If you'd like to crawl under the table, I'll let you see my hold card.

Cretin. Mmm… Smithy.

All right.

200, and… Three… no, no, no, no… Let's make it an even 500.

Is there an ashtray around by any chance?

Your 500…

500 more.

500… And 1,090.

Hmm. Wow

you better not be bluffing, asshole.

I fold, god damn it.

Ha! Come on.

Wonderful, wonderful.

I can't remember when I've sat through anything so exciting.

Uh-huh. Why don't we get the hell out of here?

Well, we might as well… I've peaked.

Gentlemen, next time, my room.

Hey, wait a minute!

What did you have? Oh, I forgot.

Fuck you! You fuckin' understand what I'm saying?

Just barely. I'm gonna carve you up in little pieces.

I'm gonna cut up your momma and papa.

I'm gonna cut up your relatives! You have a coat?

I'm gonna stick this up your ass! I'm gonna open up a dog food factory and get rich off your meat! Two A.M., game's over.

We were just leaving, Albert. Nobody bluffs this pro!

Now that's enough. Squeeze it.

You gonna be sorry you was ever born! Ciao.

2,200 in one hand. Not bad, now you only owe me $14,000.

What the hell, Lawrence, it's only money.

Graduation is tomorrow.

When do you plan to make good?

Albert, my only Italian friend, by necessity, you will have your money.

The Lakers are playing the celtics tomorrow for the championship, last game of the season.

What say we bet the entire 14 grand, double or nothing?

You know, Lawrence, I'm gonna miss you.

Ain't many underclassmen with your style.

You run up a tab of 14 gs in one semester, and now you stand to lose 28 gs… Plus vig… Albert, it's a lock. Yeah… Who's a lock?

I don't know. Let's see… Lakers, and two points.

How do I know you are good for it if you lose?

God forbid… That'd be one for my diary.

Albert, please… Lawrence Bourne III, son of Lawrence Bourne, Jr., textiles, lumber, paper, we're the family that owns the state of Maine, so fear not. I'm bored now.

Yes, of course, lambchop… Have to hurry, Albert, I think she's losing the mood. All right, L.A. plus two.

But if they lose, you've got just the day to come up with 28 big ones.

A sure thing.

Oh god!

Again, again, don't stop! Don't stop!

Come on already, Bourne.

Now, now, now!

Now, now, now! No, not yet!

Now, god damn it!

I'm awfully sorry, Lawrence, but it's after 8:00.

Oh, really? Well… We'd better get down to the actual sex then, bootsy.

Who is this cutie?

This is my roommate, Kent sutcliffe.

Kent sutcliffe, bootsy weidner. Bootsy weidner, Kent sutcliffe All of this junk is Kent's. Where are you going?

The peace corps? That's right.

I was joking.

No, my roomie's joined up.

He's off to expose the less-privileged of the world to self-styling adorn. Really?

Well… When do we start?

I'm leaving tonight, 11:00 P.M… Idlewild. Some people are coming to see me off.

And some people are having dinner with their parents. I'm sorry, Kent.

If it's any consolation, though, I am planning to learn how to spell Thailand.

Thailand… It does sound like such fun.

Bootsy enjoys the idea of working with sweaty young men from distant lands.

Graduation breakfast is at 9:00, Lawrence.

Shit, my speech.

My speech… Christ, I don't even have a theme yet.

I'm valedictorian at Smith.

Oh my god.

It is our responsibility today to live in our own world, and to identify the needs… The din in Boston garden is unbelievable.

It's a 107-105 game. The Boston celtics lead.

But here come the Lakers. Down the middle comes Tommy Hawkins.

…Between the wrong people, while the real problems of our times grow and multiply, fertilized by our neglect.

There is a… - dribbling down the floor, takes it in to bill Russell.

He turns to his left and he is fouled as he tries to shoot.

Hello darling, wherever you are.

The second one is good. And we've got a 108-107 Boston lead.

The Lakers, with only seconds remaining, come down the floor.

They feed the ball to their great captain, Elgin baylor.

He takes a three-bounce dribble. He's in the air. He fires a 32-footer, a desperation shot. It is… no good!

The celtics get the rebound… Down the floor…

…superior vitality, and strength…

…and he banks it up and in.

It's 110-107, the celtics.

The Lakers have been defeated by the world champion Boston celtics. The final score:

Boston, 110; Los Angeles, 107.

What a basketball game, fans… Now, the 1962 candidates for graduation.

Benjamin Norman Andrews, Jr., Peter cardin- armentrout, crystal hope brobagos.

Lawrence dautrey Bourne III, Nicholas cowen, Joan Chester-carr,

rich Louie diggot… Mr. b said you got until this evening.

So I ain't gonna fuck with you here.

But after dark, cool breeze, your ass belongs to me.

Don't go away. I want you to sign my yearbook.

…richard Allen arrington.

To my sister's boy, my father's grandson, and my favorite nephew.

The eighth generation to live in this lovely house and to be graduated from Yale.

To Lawrence. Hear, hear.

Very nice, thank you, aunt eunice, excellent.

Could we have a little chat?

I could use some fatherly advice.

From me?

When was the last time we did this sort of thing?

Never, we're breaking new wind.


Lawrence, how have things been for the last four years?

Fine. I need $28,000 to pay off a gambling debt or else I'm a dead man.

Don't worry, though, it'll never happen again.

$28,000? Mm-hmm.

That doesn't surprise me very much.

You've been a constant source of embarrassment, irritation, ever since your mother and I brought you home that day from the orphanage.

Orphanage? Father, I am not adopted. I am your son.

I know, I know, but please allow me that little fantasy.

I need the money.

No, not ever.

You're going to have to learn to be responsible for yourself and to others. This is an ideal step in that direction.

See, they're coming to break my hips, father.

Son, in the years to come, you'll thank me for the gift of self-reliance.

And in the meantime, if that should come to pass, you'll simply have to learn to… Use one of those… What do they call them?

A Walker. Lawrence, dad… You don't seem to understand. I have nowhere else to turn, if I don't give them 28 grand by midnight tonight, they're going to beat the crap out of me. You know what upset me

- About the graduation ceremonies?

Was how tacky the university grounds looked.

The lawns looked as if they needed to be seeded, trees weren't as ancestral.

I don't suppose this occurred to you, did it?

You are a true peckerhead.

There's a gentleman here to see Lawrence III.

A Mr. Cicero. He's here for the money.

Well, he's not going to get it.

Mr. Cicero, Mr. Lawrence Bourne, Jr.

Good evening.

I'm sorry you've had to drive all the way up here, but I'm sure we can conclude these matters really very quickly. What do you say to…

4% interest?

For five years, and let's say a down payment of $5,000, which I am quite sure that Lawrence can get to you within the week.

Out of my way, you peckerhead.


Kent! Lawrence!

Thank god I'm not at Yale, Kent.

You made it! You actually made it.

I knew you would. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

And on that, I have a special favor to ask.

Sure, but I've only a minute. All the better then.

Kent, old pal, I'd rather take your place on this old plane.

What? Some very dangerous and primitive people are after me, and I have no money and nowhere to run.

You're my last chance, believe me.

Next. Come on, let's move it.

I'm serious. You are.

Lawrence, you can't. This is the peace corps, the most important decision of my life.

Traveling halfway around the world to help a bunch of half-starved oppressed human beings. Well, here's the thing, Kent, old pal.

I'm going to die. I've been through training.

The government is involved. All the more reason to expect mistakes.

But my name is on the list. I'll wire my father.

He'll straighten the thing out. What'll happen to me?

Nothing! Nothing. And when the heat is off, I'll be back with some tropical, parasitic disease that might have been yours.


Okay. Ha ha!

But on a couple of conditions. Name it.

Next, move it, gentlemen. What? Anything in the world.

Bootsy weidner. Bootsy weidner?

Fine, have her. Everyone else has.

And your car. My car? You shit!

Not just the keys, I want the registration signed over.

I didn't think you had it in you.

- You're a douchebag, sutcliffe.

My hat is off to you. Come on, gentlemen, let's move it.

Well, good luck, Kent.

Come on, sutcliffe, you're holding up the parade. So long, kiddo.

Pan am flight 29, you are cleared for takeoff.

Runway five… Hey!

I'm gonna slice off your face and use it for a dartboard.

Fuck you!

I'll kill you! I'll kill you and your mother and your father, and your kids,

Pan am 29 air, be advised there is a person or persons attached to your aircraft.


Okay, you're clear. Roger.

…Backs and tray tables are in ful upright positions.

♪ Michael, row the boat ashore ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Michael, row the boat ashore ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ sister, help to trim the sails ♪

♪ Hallelujah… ♪ So this is hell.


It's been a hell of a day, and if you don't mind, I'd just as soon sleep through this whole thing.

That's a good man. No problem.

No turning back now, huh?

No, siree.

Yeah, two years or bust.

Tom tuttle, Tacoma, Washington.

Lawrence Bourne III. Hi, Larry.

What's your specialty? Mine's engineering.

Washington state, 3.95, but summa cum laude.

I've also dabbled extensively in a relatively new field… Psychological and motivational management. You ever heard of it?

Not many people have, really.

In a nutshell, it teaches you to manipulate human behavior to achieve maximum productivity.

I'm the first expert on it in peace corps history.

The higher ups have got a lot of hope for it.

A challenge? You bet it is.

But I'm ready for it. You know, I was president of the engineers club, treasurer of the honor society, then, of course, I was youth of the year in Tacoma, twice.

Stewardess? I was public works chairman stewardess? For a while, with the boys' state… Can I help you? Yes, I need to send a telegram, right now, this instant.

A telegram… When I got out of school, I could relay something to the captain - there was he could pass it along. Nothing there to test me.

That's when I looked to the peace corps.

I liked what I saw. To Lawrence Bourne, Jr. number one, Bourne Lane, imagine changing peoples' lives. Darien, Connecticut.

Lawrence, have made grave error.

Have joined peace corps and gone to Thailand.

Please arrange for my immediate return.

Your loving son, blah, blah, blah… Lawrence. Are you sure about this?

Do I look like I'm associated with this hootenanny?


Thank you.

And when you come back, bring me anything with alcohol.

Let's not pull any punches.

We're both men, right?

We're both adults.

Let's just say it.

You're scared.

And you've got a perfect right to be.

Albert spear once said, "fear is victory's fuel."

You spend a few years with me, pal, and we're gonna turn that fear into high octane.

♪ Puff, the magic dragon ♪

♪ lived by the sea ♪

♪ and frolicked in the Autumn mist ♪

♪ in a land called honalee ♪

♪ little Jackie paper ♪

♪ loved that rascal, puff ♪

♪ and brought him strings and ceiling wax ♪

♪ and other fancy stuff ♪

♪ oh, puff, the magic dragon… ♪ Larry, wake up! The coliseum!

God is it gorgeous.

It may not be one of the seven wonders of the world, but it sure is in the Tom tuttle top 10.

Do you know they had plumbing back there? Trough kind of things.

Did you ever see a sketch of a Roman urinal? Let me show you.

Fascinating things.

There were dozens of them. What they did, was they built them for midgets.

♪ …with billowed sails ♪

♪ Jackie kept a lookout, perched ♪

♪ on puff's gigantic tail ♪ Coffee, tea, or soft drink?

♪ Noble kings and princes ♪

♪ would bow when ever they came ♪

♪ pirate ships would lower their flags ♪

♪ when puff roared out his name ♪

♪ oh, puff, the magic dragon ♪

♪ lived by the sea ♪

♪ and frolicked in the Autumn mist ♪

♪ in a land called honalee… ♪ Good morning, darling. Good morning.

Oh, I'm sorry… Oh, it's no, no… it's no problem at all.

We're all here to lean on each other, aren't we?

Kent sutcliffe?

Kent? I'm Beth Wexler.

Beth! Beth Wexler, yes, yes… Of course… Well, you don't know me.

Do you know me? I know the name, we're gonna be stationed together… Loong ta?

Oh, Beth Wexler, oh, yes, of course, I'm sorry.

You know, what with finals and then graduation, and my brother dying so tragically… Oh my god, oh, I'm so sorry.

Yes, well, he lived that kind of life, you know, fast cars, fast times. It was… Inevitable, I guess. I'm just so glad to have the whole thing behind me.

Kent sutcliffe.

Beth Wexler.

I gotta tell you… What?

You're completely different from the way I pictured you in your bio.

Oh, really? How so? I don't know.

A soil science volunteer, hometown, canton, Ohio.

I just sort of pictured this… Sweet-natured doofus.

Beautiful tuxedo you're wearing.

Dinner jacket. Oh.

I hope you didn't rent it. No, no.

The folks threw me sort of a… Graduation-slash- good-luck-in-saving-the-world party.

I come from that kind of money, something I wish you would overlook. Now, if memory serves me correctly, you are from… Long island. Long island, long island university, right? Right.

Say, were you as fed up with the bullshit of college life as I was?

Yeah. I made some good friends, but I felt that… I have to tell you, I feel so good about what it is we're doing here, without sounding incredibly corny, but it is amazing. I mean, here we are, traveling halfway around the world to help out a bunch of half-starved and oppressed human beings, I mean, I am right there, you know what I mean?

Exactly. Passengers: ♪ If I had a hammer ♪

♪ I'd hammer in the morning ♪

♪ I'd hammer in the evening… ♪ WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, please make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened.

We will be landing in Bangkok in approximately seven minutes.

Bangkok already.

Well, we've been talking now for… oh my, 10 hours, 22 minutes.

Kent… I'm really lucky to be assigned with you.

You know, Beth, we're going to be awfully busy once we get to… Loong ta. Loong ta, yes, of course.

What say we… You and I take the first night out just for ourselves, huh?

A bit of dinner, maybe a few drinks, and then see a little bit of the city, huh?

There really is only one thing we haven't shared.

Very funny.

Thank you just the same.

Beth, now we've been moony-eyed since Istanbul, why fight it?

Kent, why are you doing this?

I thought we were becoming friends.

Well, this is what I do with my friends.

You mean, you've just been trying to go to bed with me?

Well, I think I've put in the hours, don't you?

You are the most crass, arrogant human being I have ever met in my life!

Hold that thought for just one minute. Tammy!

Tammy… How would you like to see a bit of Bangkok with me this evening… Have a little dinner, maybe a few drinks, then who knows?

Oh my god! I'd love to, Lawrence, but I'm engaged.

Come on, Larry, let's get a move on it.

Lawrence? Oh, I didn't tell you, did I?

Lawrence Bourne III.

You see, Kent and I had to change places, nasty matter of a large-scale gambling debt… By the way, you were right about him, oh… Just get out of my way, you… you Ivy league… Schlemiel!

I think you're taking the narrow view.

But, I guess I should've known… Just another sexually-repressed, guilt-ridden Jewish maid, running off to hide in the peace corps so she won't have to face men.


What did I say?

Augustus Clay, Betty cronk, -

Steve Jones, rozie rousse, Betty cronk, I want you kids to stow your gear to the rear of the air… Aircraft.


Welcome to thaild.

What? Welcome?

I'm John Reynolds, with the American agriculture mission.

I help out with the new arrivals.

Welcome to Bangkok. Thank you.

I'm with the peace corps, Beth. Beth Wexler.

Right. You've come a long way from home, Beth.

The least I could do is know your name.

Come on, sugar.

Oh! Jesus h. Christ, we must be a mile from the sun.

Pardon me.

Excuse me. I'm just going by height of course, but, are you in charge here? Yes, John Reynolds.

Lawrence Bourne III, Johnny.

Bourne, I've got a telegram for you. Hmm.

Last chance. Over my dead body.


You must have some friends in pretty high places, Bourne.

Well, we do consider Washington our general store.

Damndest thing I ever saw… training waived, location approval.

Just like that, you're officially in the peace corps.


Hey! John, John, John, this is ridiculous, really, I am obviously not of peace corps fiber.

It's not that I can't help these people, it's just that I don't want to.

Looking at you, I think two years in loong ta might do you some good.

Hi, Tom tuttle from Tacoma, Washington.

Ere do we saddle up for loong ta? He's going, too?

Hey, Larry. I'll be taking you all by chopper.

Chopper, holy cow! I call shotgun on this one.

I got dibbs on that, Larry, sorry.

Tom tuttle, Tacoma, Washington. Hi, Beth.

Are you going to loong ta? Loong ta? I'll give you a hand over here.

That's great! I'm stationed with him?

John, for what I'm about to do, you should be ashamed.

I'd like to go home, please?

Please, can I go home? Just let me go home. Can I go home?

Loong ta is one of the most primitive villages in the golden triangle. If we get a bridge across that river, it'd change the villagers' life 100 fold.

We want you three to concentrate on the building of that bridge.

Tom will obviously be in charge of that.

You'll also find we've laid in all the equipment you'll need for the job… Cables, saws, axes, blueprints… You name it.

Is this on?

In a week, I'll have that town running like Pittsburgh.

Now, the jungle's pretty dense.

I wouldn't wander too far from the village, there's commie guerrillas nearby.

You'll also hear talk about an old Chinese warlord- black marketeer, who runs the whole upper river.

We better not take any chances, then.

We'll run up an American flag. That ought to scare them.

You're just gonna have to rely on each other.

Go peace corps, go!

Oh, what lovely flowers!

Opium poppies. Poppies.


Well, hello.

Hello. Hello, there.

Yes, yes, Lawrence Bourne III.

I whistle a happy tune, so let me entertain you, huh?

That's right, that's right. Rich American, huh?

Yale, 1962. I bet you're impressed, aren't you?

Hello, hello.

There you are. Yes, very good.

Say, listen, how were the crops this year, huh?

Good rainy season, eh? Plenty of moisture?

We're now approaching the ceremonial gates to the village.

This is al po. He is the elder of loong ta.

Oh, he's… oh my god, he's blind!

Well, we're too late to help him. Maybe the next generation.

Helen Keller was once asked whether she'd rather have her hearing or her sight restored.

She said her hearing, 'cause being deaf is so lonely.

You're one lucky guy. Yes, you.

Wow, he looks so wise, so old.

He's probably 30.

Let me tell you this. In his whole life, he never set foot on the other side of that river.

We've gotta build that bridge, then, if for no other reason. Everything's taken care of here.

They've even prepared a couple of huts for you.

Other than that, you're on your own.

You're not going right now, are you? I'll be back in a month.

My work is done here… Or maybe sooner.

If y'all need me, you got the radio.

Until then, vaya con dios.


We're gonna miss his wit around here.

Look out, loong ta, here we come.

Well, honey, we're home.

Oh, please.

Well, hello there.

Well, now whom do you know, huh?

This is the nicest hut in town.

Oh, river exposure, huh?

A view of the swamp.

Tuttle and I are in it.

I'm busy. Mm-hmm.

I can see. I'm the main attraction from 5:00 to 7:00 tonight.

Beth… I am not going to apologize for trying to make you. I do have my principles, but, I guess… I was just a tad deceitful, and, in that case, I do deserve a firm slap on the wrist.

Lawrence, if I accept your apology, that's also accepting the fact that you're here.

I don't plan to do that.

It's a small village, but, if we're lucky, we'll keep missing each other.

And maybe I'll have dinner with you on the plane home.



Oh, yes… Thailand.

All right, quiet down, quiet down, please.

Quiet down, settle everyone.

Good morning, good morning.

I am Tom tuttle.

Tom tuttle.

Tom tuttle.

Good. We… Will build… A bridge… Bridge.

Bridge… build bridge..


Bridge, good. All right, this is good. Now, we're going to use that wood there, the teakwood there.

Yes. No, no, it's good wood.

That… listen to me… That is very good wood.

And we will chop, op, chop the wood.

Where are you going?

Where are you… Come back here.

I have not dismissed you yet.

The… The psychological motivation course you took… Did you find that on the back of a matchbook cover?

I don't understand it.

I explained the bridge, everything was a-okay.

Then I mentioned the teakwood we'd be using and they went heathen on me.

The problem is you're an asshole.

All right, let's not get personal. Who said that?

It should've been me.

You're an asshole, peace corps guy.

You can't cut down those trees.

They're sacred. The spirit that guards the village live in those trees.

Don't they teach you nothing?

He might be just a marvelous mimic.

You speak english?

As good as him.

You better pick another set of trees, 'cause no one touches those, champ.

Champ? Champ?

Who are you? I'm at toon.

I spent four years in American school in Bangkok, I'm the sharpest thing this village ever seen, so they sent me.

Big deal.

Less headaches here. Astonishing.

Believe it, hot rod.

That wood is teak wood.

Yeah? The strongest fiber we can find.

If we can finish building this bridge, you won't need to worry about spirits, little man.

Why do you guys think you can come here and turn everything upside down?

This is not American city where you put up an empire state building over a weekend, you know?

We have a certain way of doing things here.

We don't rush, rush, rush.

These are my kind of people.

All right, there's some wood over there that looks fairly sturdy.

All right! All of you! Yo!

Speak english!

More walking, less talking.


Lawrence Bourne III, ugly American.

You, I like. He'll be awhile.

You smoke?

This wouldn't be the dung of one of your ancestors, now would it?


It's okay, it's okay.

Now, I take the four aces, and put them back in the middle of the deck.

Where do they go, you ask? Well, watch.

Where are the aces, you ask?

Well… Ace, Ace, Ace, Ace.


Thank you. I'd like to thank lady bertrand Russell for teaching me that trick as well as one or two others.

♪ Fight, fight, fight for Washington state ♪

♪ win the victory ♪

♪ Win the game ♪ ♪ for crimson and gray ♪

♪ best in the west, ♪ ♪ we know you'll all do your best ♪

♪ so on, on, ♪ ♪ on, on ♪

♪ fight to the end ♪

♪ honor and glory ♪ ♪ you must win ♪

♪ so fight, fight, fight ♪ ♪ for Washington state ♪

♪ and Vic-to-ry. ♪

Oh yeah! This is perfect.

This is what you build Bridges of.

I like this.

I like this.

You're a big kitty-cat.

Yes, you are.

Oh, what a big cat.

See? Friend.

Look. A big mouse.

Very nice here.

Good, good kitty.

Okay, baby.

Shh, shh, shh.

Okay, 'atta babe.

Stay there. Yes, you a big cat.


Damn! Trapped in a tiger trap by a tiger.

This could be a setback.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Tom tuttle, from Tacoma, Washington, pleased to meet you.

All right, gentlemen.

It is my deal; Blackjack is the game.

Place your bets.

Guys, wait. Take it easy now.

We have all night.

All right, here we go.

All right. Who needs a card?

No one? Well, dealer pulls… ho! 20.

Mighty tough to beat. Let's see what we have here.

Blackjack! A winner, Blackjack, a winner.

Blackjack, a winner, Blackjack… Blackjack…

What's going on here?

We learn fast in this town.

You owe me.

All right, back, back, back… Double or nothing, redeal, come on.

Come on, come on.

I'm gonna keep my eye on you douchebags this time.

Lawrence, Tom hasn't come back yet. I think he's missing.

Guys you know Beth Wexler.

Ah… The guys, they say hi.

I'm really worried. I think we should go find him.

By going out in the jungle at night?

No, no, no.

Fine, I'll go myself.

Why don't you just relax, Beth? I'm sure Tom just went skinny-dipping in the river, and discovered himself. I'm gonna call John.

That's a good idea. Have him bring the flash and the green hornet in on the case.

I should've known better than to come to you.

All right, now, the name of this next game is new england baseball.

What it is, is regular five-card stud except deuces are wild for white men.

Well now, who the hell are you?

I wish to get into your game.

Well, that'd be all right by me, but gee, the rest of the fellows don't look too excited.

Uh, Lawrence… Asshole…

I wish to get into the game.

You're in, you're in.

You put up some of that fruit salad, and I'll put up a comb. You ever seen one of these?

Asshole! Do you know who you're talking to?

That's chung mee. He runs the black market.

He runs everything. He comes into this village, we give him whatever he wants, he is a motherfucker.

This is the black marketeer?

Mr. mee!

Lawrence Bourne III.

I really must apologize for my rudeness, although the hair does look ridiculous. I didn't know who you were.

But I've heard an awful lot about you.

I was just graduated from Yale, class of '62… Jeez… you didn't let me finish.

Don't kill me! I haven't had a woman yet!

What a break this is, at, meeting him face to face and getting taken right to his home. Ha!

I'm not gonna let him off easy, I'm gonna ask for a major share of the pie.

They say he has a testicle collection. Oh, he's not gonna hurt us.

If he wanted to kill us, we would have been dead on the spot.

Well, maybe he didn't like us enough to do that. No, no, at, this is capitalism at its most prime. What's capitalism?

Oh, at, sometimes you Asian people just slay me, really.


I'm going, I'm going!

Don't say nothing, Lawrence. Don't say nothing!

They wanna use me like a woman.

You'll just have to show 'em you can take it like a man.

The bridge you are building… When will it be completed?

The bridge?

You're interested in… In our bridge. Oh, permit me.

As I said, it would be very difficult to say.

We do have a very fine young man working on it right now, but why do you want to know?

Opium is my business.

The bridge mean more traffic.

More traffic mean more business.

More business mean more money.

More money mean more power.

Well, before I commit any of that to memory, would there be anything in this for me?

Speed is important in business.

Time is money. You said opium was money.

Money is money, - well, then what is time again?

When bridge is completed, you can have whatever you need.

Oh, I see.

And they told me to go on those business interviews at Yale.

Well, gosh, first of all, I would like to run everything in loong ta.

Then, whenever I was ready, passage back to Bangkok and an airline ticket back to the United States.

Oh, and this is hardly worth mentioning, but, 28… $48,000 in cash.

I have some library books that are overdue.

Nice knowing you. I want bridge finished in six weeks.

Or you are finished in seven.

You're going along with that? Hey! -

No problem, commander, the bridge is yours.

You are mine.

Well, it's only fair.

Business is completed.

After business come pleasure.

Pleasure is also my business.

For me? If I say yes and not no.

You want me to translate? No, no, I got that one, it's a little incentive, isn't it?

You are a slyboots, you… really.

Hello, hi.

Lawrence Bourne III, junior partner.

You must be… What it means is su-ru-sirre.

Pardon me? What it means is su-ru-sirre.

I'm sorry, what?

Lucille, her name is Lucille.

Oh, Lucille. Wow, now that's highly erotic.

I love Lucille. Tell me, how did you get a name like that?

With mama's engrish.

What? That is her name?

She's staying for dinner, of course. Yes, but you are leaving.

But I just got here. What do you see in him?

Are you some sort of a chubby chaser or something?

Lucille is my bodyguard.

She does not like it when my orders are questioned.

Thank god my fly was zipped.

Thank you for dinner and not killing us.

Glad to be aboard, Lucille, any night of the week, I'm free.

Did I mention that back home I drive a corvette?

Nothing can stop that boy now.

When the task is done, you may deal with him.

Do you think you can find Tom with the helicopter?

We'd never spot him from up there, uh-uh.

What about organizing a search party?

I'll be honest with you, Beth, I'm figuring on the worst.

There's a lot of ways into that jungle, and precious few ways out.

So we just give up?

Keep on what you're doing, Beth. That's best.

Bourne's a sharp fellow, and, you know, I got a feeling he'll come through for you.

Bourne? He's useless.

He's probably down at the river right now paying the young girls to wash themselves.

This bridge is going to last forever.

Your children, and your children's children will use it and remember you.

In America, Bridges are monuments.

People come from all over to visit them, to admire them, to end their lives off them.

Now you people are so gosh darn lucky to have this opportunity.

…gosh darn… Take advantage of it.

Seize it.

And work quickly. Thank you.

Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence…

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Good morning. I just put a stick in the ground.

John, welcome back to our little corner of the world.

Is your chin getting bigger?

Can't you just stay a day or two?

Well, I wish I could. I really do, but Mike and me been so goll darn busy these days.

I get lonely. There's nobody here I can really talk to… Especially Lawrence.

Who's Mike? Mike's my knife.

We been traveling together ever since I was 16.

A good companion, Mike.

Oh, your knife. Beth…

Words come hard for a fellow like me, but my heart soared when you radioed last night.

I been thinking about you ever since you walked off that plane.

Really? Oh, I didn't know you cared at all.

Beth, there's a lot of things I want to tell you about myself.

I… - oh, there's a lot of things I want to know.

When we get back, we're gonna make the time, you and us.

Us? Mike.

Oh yes, Mike.

Until then, I brought you a little something I'd like you to keep near your heart.

It's a present, just from me to you.

Oh. It's a Burmese prince.

There's kind of an art store in Bangkok that specializes in these type things. I go there a lot.

When you're in the city, I'd love to take you through the place.

Oh, well, thank you.

Thank you.

This is really unexpected.

See that Mike?

I knew she'd like it.

♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪ ♪ for Washington state ♪

♪ win the victory ♪

♪ win the day ♪ ♪ for crimson and gray ♪

♪ best in the west, we know ♪ ♪ you'll all do your best ♪

♪ so on, on, on, on, ♪ ♪ fight till the end ♪

♪ honor and glory ♪ ♪ you must win ♪

♪ so fight, fight, fight, ♪ ♪ for Washington state ♪

♪ and Vic… ♪

♪ … Tory ♪

Tom tuttle from Tacoma, do you know where you are?

My guess is I'm in the clutches of the angry pink menace.

I am souvanna.

We will be spending much time together.

You'll get nothing from me but my scorn.

Tom, this is the people's army.

From here, we strike out and bring hope to the oppressed, the oppressed who are still slaves to running-dog, foul-breathed, capitalist vermin like yourself.

We exist only to spread the word.

Tom tuttle from Tacoma… You will be brainwashed. Me?

America's son? Ha!

That will be a challenge.

You bet.

Our enemies are all those in league with imperialism.

The bureaucrats, the big landlord class and the reactionary section of the inteligentsia attached to them.

Very good, Tom. You quote the chairman well.

Ouenemies are all around us.

We must always be on our guard.

Sure, we'll lose a lot of snooze time, but that's okay.

We'll catch up after the revolution's over. That's enough, Tom.

The leading force behind our revolution is the industrial proletariat.

Our closest friends are the entire semi-proletariat and the petty bourgeoisie. That's enough.

But there's so much more. I said that's enough!

The time has come to tell you your mission.

My mission. I'd like that very much, comrade. Good.

Tom, the bridge you were building for the lying, malignant, snake-infested peace corps, - That bridge is important to us.

It gives us an easy access across the river.

We can drive our brand-new people's truck across it, and plaster the words of the chairman on every tree, rock, and animal for miles until we run out of the people's gas. Yes!

You, Tom tuttle of Tacoma, are going to ensure that that bridge is built, and that no one in loong ta interferes with our plans.

In a week, I'll have that village running like Peking.

And if someo does stand in your way?

That's enough, Tom.


Enough, enough, enough.

The bridge that couldn't be built.

Well, I say "bullshit" to that.

A bridge is nothing when you've got strong arms, strong backs, guts, determination, courage… Break! Take a break.

Take a break? Wait a minute, you had a break not two hours ago, now come on, hey, hey, Beth, now… Beth, I'm surprised at you.

You're supposed to be setting an example here.

I don't mind telling you I'm just a little shocked.

Shut up. Uh-oh.

You know, I'm killing myself.

You don't even want to be here and everything comes so easy for you.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that.

How did you learn to speak thai?

I have to communicate, don't I?

You know what your problem is, Beth?

You just take things so seriously, I mean, who says it has to be so tough, huh?


Has he ever done this? I think not.

You leave him out of this.

I came here to do a job, something I believe in, the peace corps… helping people.

You're only here because you're running away.

Beth, nothing is fair.

Wake up and smell the river.

Now, you wanna get this log moved?

First of all, let's get some more men down here.

Now, the easy way.

Come stand where I'm standing. Come on, come on.

Now, with great conviction, say the following…

What did I say?

"Move this log, and I'll sleep with each one of you."

The easy way.

Well, I'm back. Did you miss me?

Tom! Tom!

Where'd you go? We thought you were dead. Are you all right?


I'm okay. I'm a-okay!

I'm Jim dandy.

A-number one, that's me.

Got a little lost, that's all.

Took the opportunity to give myself a jungle survival course.

As always, I'm the better for it.

Now I'm back, and able to build that doggone bridge!

I'm back!

It's open. It's always open.

Miss Wexler, Lawrence Bourne III requests… Requests the pleasure of your company on this special occasion.

Would you come with me?

Go where? For what?

I'm not allowed to say.

No, no, no… Come on… Be a g… guy.

Come on.

This better be good. Yeah, yeah.



I call it Lawrence's.

I don't believe it.

Even from you.

It was actually much easier than you would imagine.

How did you get… - oh, just a few connections, a little elbow grease is all, and voila, loong ta's first public service.

Are you as proud of me as I am?

Can I get you a drink?

Wait a minute, I don't get this.

What's this for?

It's for a job well done, of course.

I've got Johnny Walker, Jim beam, Jack Daniels. The gang's all here.

You've got liquor? And wine.

The house white is a delightfully articulate chablis.

I haven't seen a tube of toothpaste in two weeks, and you have a bar.


Good nig, Lawrence.

How about a coke?

You have a coke?

Cherry, lemon, vanilla… Or plain?


A plain coke.

You have more than earned it.

Oh god… That is fantastic. I miss these so much.

To friends?


Now… Would you care to dance?

Sam, try that again.

Well, here we are.

I'm having such a good time.

So am I.

Would you… Like to come inside?

No, I don't think so, not tonight.


You see, if I go in there, I'm going to be tempted to make a pass at you, and that's not what you want.

It isn't? No, it isn't.

I like you very much, Beth.

All I ask… Is that you just give me a little chance.

Good night. Good night.

John has come marching home.

John… you scared the hell out of me.

You wanted to know all about me, Beth.

Tonight's the night. John, the clown outfit aside, I don't think this is very funny. This is no clown outfit, this is my business suit.

I beg your pardon? Things are starting to happen, Beth, and I want you at my side when they do.

There's more to me than a pencil-pushing aggy advisor.

You see, Beth, I'm not with the rinky-dinky peace corps.

I'm with the company, the a-team.

You might know it as the c.I.A. John… Listen, I like the fact that you're quiet, why do you feel you have to play these weird little jokes on me?

You're not listening to me.

Your John is in charge of a joint operation to eliminate the communist element in that jungle.

The bridge y'all built will make it a much easier task.

You'll have nothing to worry about, though. You'll be safe.

Me and Mike'll see to that.

Now come on, Beth, how can you resist a man in a uniform?

You're crazy. I have to be to outsmart those little pink pagans.

They're gonna be shocked out of their sarongs.

When they see what we've got in store for them.

Operation red-belly, Beth. Operation red-belly.

Very soon, a convoy of trucks is gonna roll over that bridge y'all built.

And once this spot is leveled, this village will become an airstrip, a lair, if you will, from which we'll be able to strike at all hot spots all up and down the delta.

Strong, swift strikes.

One after another.

Again, again… And again.

Where's that Burmese prince I gave you?

I looked through your drawers and I couldn't find it.

John, get out of my way. Where are you going?

To radio Bangkok. It's for your own good, you might have malaria or something.

Beth, please… Don't push me now. Don't touch me!

You touch me, and you and Mike will get 20 years each.

Beth, I must tell you in all candor, I don't like what I'm hearing.

- Shh, it's only chloroform.

Beth, honey, you're amongst friends.

Poor Lawrence.

Poor, poor Lawrence.

- I, Tom tuttle, of Tacoma, Washington, hereby declare this bridge officially open.

How do you like that, Lawrence?

Can you believe I never had lesson?

Where the hell is she?

I haven't seen her anywhere. Did you speak with her today?

Who? Beth!

Beth? No, I haven't seen her all day.

That doesn't make sense. It's way after dark, she could be lost, maybe… Maybe an animal got her, maybe the commies got her… There's plenty of places she could be.

At, you are lying to me.

I can tell, your eyes are getting round.

Get outta here! All right, where is she?

Careful, I know the art of kickboxing.

I know. Where is Beth? Okay, okay.

But you're not gonna like this. I saw Beth last night, she went into the jungle with John.

Oh, bullshit, with…

You saw them go together? She's no good for you, big guy.

You have more important things to care about.


She led me on.

She led me on, and then she lets that weedwhacker diddle her, that easy bitch!

You know, when you think about it, there's a lot to be said with just playing with yourself.

Our enemies are in league with imperialism.

Imperialism is colonialism.

Colonialism is the exploitation of the people.

Forget about her, tiger.

You got bigger fish to fry.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna go back to Bangkok, and I'm gonna find a phone, and then I'm gonna call her parents in New York City collect.

I'm gonna tell them their daughter is sleeping with a gentile from Texas.

- You had enough to drink, Larry.

I'm celebrating now.


Chung mee, you shouldn't have.

Hold your worm, asshole.

You're better off with Beth. That Lucille is bad news on wheels.

Take our money and send her away!


All that great, green American currency.

Hey, look at this!

I'll show you what this is for later on this evening.

And the… yes, the plane ticket home.

Coach?! that cheap bastard.

My god, I certainly hope you don't wear contact lenses.

Shh. Oh, right, right.

Oh, that feels so good what you're doing.

Asshole! At, get out of here now!

Awfully sorry about that. You really have to excuse him.

He's just jealous. You see, he's never had a woman, and I have to confess, it's been quite some time since I've had one myself, so I hope you don't mind if it takes me five, six, seven, eight times for me to get my legs back.

Larry, I… Larry, you have to listen to me. Shit!

I… she's… but wait… I had more privacy at Yale.

Get out!

- That twit has officially broken the mood.

Whatso I get ourselves a drink, eh?

What's your pleasure?

Ooh, boilermaker. My kind of woman.

Say, have you ever actually slept with chung mee?

He must be hung like a cocktail frank.

That would certainly explain his less-than-social behavior.

What say you become a bodyguard of mine, huh?

Not that I really need one, but… Jesus, at! What was that? Hey!

I think I'm getting closer. She was trying to kill me.

Were you trying to kill me? You know the problem? I think I'm left-footed.

Nobody tries to kill me and comes that close.

…Yankee blood… Dead meat.


If you touch her Beth is a goner.

How do you know she said that? I'm oriental.

Oh, yeah… Beth is a goner?

You told me Beth was with John.

Now what is John doing with chung mee?

He must be in cahoots with him.

I bet they have some big deal going, and somehow Beth found out so he had to take her away to make sure she doesn't tell.

That would mean that Beth doesn't like John!

Oh god, that is a relief.

Lawrence, Beth is in deep shit!

I realize that.

Shouldn't one of us be saying, "let's go save her?"

♪ They say don't go ♪

♪ to wolverton mountain ♪

♪ if you're lookin' ♪

♪ for a wife ♪

♪ the bears and the birds ♪

♪ tell Clifton Clowers… ♪ Say, Tom… Who goes there? Who goes there?

It's Lawrence. It's me, it's Lawrence.

What are you doing here?

Guarding my bridge, that's all.

Can we pry you away from it for just an hour or two?

It seems that Beth is in the clutches of some Chinese warlord.

At and I are going up river to save her and reluctantly, we need your help.

That would mean I would have to leave my bridge.

No, you could take it with you. I can't do that!

I can't do that, no.

My mission is here.

Fine. If I get out of this alive, I'm never leaving the east coast again.

At, did you knock out Lucille and tie her up?

No, she did it herself.

You should've been there. I can't believe this.

I'm risking my life for a long island Princess who thinks motives are more important than actions, father would be appalled.

Doggone it, I must be doing the right thing. Shh, Larry, be quiet.

We're right under the walls. We don't want to disturb the guards.

I bow to your expertise.

What do you see?

I see the holding area.

That's probably where they're keeping her.

Any guards?

A couple of those fat guys.

Kiss, kiss.

Lawrence… Ow!

God, you are heavy for an Asian.

So, what's your plan?

What plan? You said you were working on a plan.

Oh, I lied. Of course.

I do have an idea. All we have to do is distract the guards, then sneak in and get Beth.

You just come up with that off the top of your head?

It's my responsibility, so I'll take the hard part.

I'll get Beth. So, what do I do?

It's obvious, isn't it? Those guards… They like you. You just approach them, and, I don't know, bum a smoke from them or something, and before you know it… Those… those guards?!

No way, hotrod! Come on.

Are you that unsure of your masculinity?

I'd like to keep what I got.

Hiya, fellas.

It's a heck of a night.

Got a smoke?

You guys come here a lot?

Yours is a difficult task.

When you step on one ant, you allow his brother to go around you.

I appreciate your concern, chung mee, but I assure you, when we get done with red-belly, there won't be one goddamn red ant left.

We all must do what we must do.

For if we do not, then what we must do does not get done. You betcha.

Well, at 0700 hours tomorrow we roll across that bridge and secure the area.

And after that, you'll be free to fly your opium in any direction you want.

You'll be international, chung mee.

The well is deep.

I wish you well.


My god… I had visions of you stripped naked and chained to a wall.

Imagine my disappointment.

Lawrence, hi.

You found me. Yes.


Lawrence… Come on, kiss my little piggy.

Lawrence, huh?

Me and Mike'll make you forget that no-account, liver-lipped, milk-toast, scrawny, pencil-necked geek.

You're gonna love me, Beth, if I got to keep you doped up from… Here to armageddon and a day.

Yikes. Bourne.

Well now, you're the last person I thought I'd see coming to save Beth. So… The surprise worked.

Now, you're gonna have to disappear.

Well, I'm going to do my best.

Kill, kill!

Damn! Ha!

You can't do this to me. I'm very rich, and I have certain rights.

Shit! You ain't nothing now, boy. You really thought you was gonna come up here and save this girl?

You just a smart-talking little piece of turd.

You been taking up space. Say your prayers, boy.


Fool with me… Good timing, at! Thank you.

Come over here, we have get her out of here.

Come on, come on, Barbie.

This little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy had roast beef. Put her over my shoulder.

Way to go. This little piggy had none.

And this little piggy went, "wee!"

It's dark in here. All the way home.

I saw this once on route 66.

Let's go, let's go!

Which way do we go? Surprise me.

Go! At, shh!

Come on, Mike.

We got work to do.

A leopard.

I want you people to spread out and find these folks, do you understand? And I want you to bring that girl back alive.

Move, goddamn it!


I'm sure I came through this way.

Nope. Well, this one… Looks all the same to me.


Uh-oh. Oops, sorry.

Sorry, chung mee, I've never been so embarrassed.

Larry, wait for me!

Larry, if we get out of here alive, I'm gonna kill you.

Well, take a numbe



Look, all right now… If Mr. mee were here, or if I were mee…

I would be the first to say that this is nothing more than a grave misunderstanding. Quite simply, it's…

Here we go again.

At! Okay, okay, go!

Go, go, go!

It's the river!

I can't do it. It's not like it takes a lot of skill.

Oh, my head is swimming.

That's a start.


This is wet! At! Where's at?

I'm under you, Larry. Downstream.

Back to loong ta. Where'd we leave the damn boat?

Our bridge… Our beloved bridge… At, are you all right, my pathetic little pal?

I'm fine.

So, I die before I ever have a woman.

I helped build a bridge, some fat guys touched me… I've had a full life, Larry.

If you want to enjoy any more of it, we'd better get out of here before chung mee and his friends return.

At sun-up all hell is gonna break loose.


And they busted the radio?

Jesus, there's nothing we can do.

It's too late. It's just one of those days, I guess.

I'm gonna get my dope, what's left of my booze, you know, the essentials.

I'm taking my grandfather. Fine, fine.

Just pack some of this hooch into his jumper for me, will you?

What about our genuine persian carpet?

I don't care, just tear it down.

We can always wrap it up around your grandfather.

Tear it down… Of course… We have the dynamite, we'll just blow the bridge to bits.

Beth, we are in a hurry here.

Blow it to bits. That's a brilliant idea!

We'll show those warmongers that the people won't stand for their tyranny.

Wait a minute Beth, no, no… yes, yes, yes. No, no… at, tell her it can't be done.

It should've been done in the first place. Right!

I'll help you, Beth. Thank you, at.

I said no! Put me down!

No, I'm not gonna let you! Oh, why?

Because I love you.

Who said that?

If you love me, you'll help me.

Whoa, I know I didn't say that.

Lawrence, you can't have me unless we blow up the bridge.

Okay, fine, I'll blow up your silly bridge.

God knows I've done crazier things. No, wait.

Lawrence… I'm sorry. I know that you think the right thing can be done for the wrong reason.

But for me, motives are important.

You can't be part of this if you're doing it for yourself.

What have you learned, Dorothy?

Okay. I'm not just blowing up the bridge for me, I'm blowing it up for you, and for you, at, and for grandfather, and the people, and America, and the universe, all right?

But please, now, let's just blow up the goddamn bridge!

You really do love me. Yes, I do. Can we go now?

Right away. Thank you. Thank you very much.

What's so funny? Nothing.

They weren't too wild about the bridge in the first place.

Oh joy. All right, now… What say we get the dynamite down to the river, and let's hurry.

Dust to dust, if we must, we must.

Tom! Tom!

Fools! Yankee imperialist swine!

Running-dog lackey!

Capitalist vermin!

Foul-breathed, counter- revolutionary terrorists! -

You didn't actually think I'd let you get away with this, did you?

Hey, tuttle!

This is my birthday. What do you say you let me blow out that candle?

I'm not afraid to die.

Not for a cause! Not for a cause!

Sure, there'll be some things I'll miss… Tuna fish casserole with little potato chips on top.

Mmm… And Sandra Dee. I always loved Sandra Dee.

I've never told anyone that before.

And I know that one day, she would leave Bobby Darin for me.

I just know that she'd do that.

But that day will never be, now.

Happy birthday, Larry!

I've had all I can take!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday, dear Larry… ♪ I'm gonna relight this and shove it down his pants!

♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ Tom!

What's wrong? Your trying kill us. The masses!

The masses must unite! The more the masses unite, the better we are.

♪ America, America ♪

♪ god shed his grace on thee… ♪ The people's army must become one with the people so they can see it as their own. Such an army would be invincible.

♪ And crown thy good with brotherhood ♪

♪ from sea to shining… ♪ All right, stop it, stop it!

I'll read the book, I'll see the film, I'll wash the people's truck.

I'll do whatever you want!

It was the commies! It was the commies!

They wanted the bridge, they wanted… See, I just wanted a little snooze time, that's all.

Just a little nap every now and… they kept talking to me, and talking and talking. I challenged myself to resist, but who was I kidding? Tom, what are you talking about?

Let's hit him again. The commies! The commies!

The commies are coming. They're gonna take over the village, and the bridge.

And I helped them do it!

How's this gonna look on my resume?

Peace corps, 1962. Handed village over to the communists.

Who's gonna hire me?

Why can't everyone leave this place alone?

Never mind! It's almost dawn.

I don't think we have time to wire the entire bridge.

You don't have to.

One charge of dynamite placed strategically in the middle of the bridge, and the whole thing will collapse.

Those dirty red bastards… They'll never take loong ta.

No, not as long as there's freedom… And justice… And Tom tuttle from Tacoma, Washington.

Come on, come on!

Let's go!

We'll split off right here.

We'll keep these going all the way down. Hurry, hurry!

Go, go!

Over here!


Where's the wire?

Out of my way! Give me the wire!

Oh shit!

Tom, listen!

♪ So on, on, on, on ♪ ♪ fight to the end ♪

♪ honor and glory ♪ ♪ you must win ♪

♪ so fight, fight, fight ♪ ♪ for Washington state ♪ What can I say? I'm embarrassed. ♪ and Vic-to-ry. ♪ Hurry, hurry!

Nice bridge, wasn't it?

Very nice. Blow it!

What have I done?

You screwed it up! What's wrong?

I don't know. Everything's a-okay. Must be a loose connection… Give me the strippers, I'll go. Lawrence!

♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪ ♪ for Washington state… ♪

♪ …on, on, on… ♪

♪ …and glory you must win… ♪

Got it. Don't move, not an inch.

Bourne, this is the end of the line.

You make one move towards me, and I'll signal my friends down there and they'll blow us both to kingdom come, and… Hey, wait a minute… I'll tell you what I'm gonna do… I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna skin you, and I'm gonna use your shinbone for a pencilbox.

Ain't nobody around this time, Bourne.

It's just you, me… And Mike.

Well, that's fair. Stand up.

You know, there never was a time when brains didn't triumph over brawn.

Let's see what you got, boy.

Oh, I've got brains.

Is that a Russian mig-25? Where?

Oh, darn!

Whoa! Hit it!

Lawrence… where's Lawrence?

Lawrence? Oh my god!

Out of the way.

Lawrence. Asshole?


♪ Fight, fight, fight for Washington… ♪

Dear mother and father, I never thought I'd say this to you, but thanks, thanks a bunch.

The peace corps has changed my life.

I've learned the true meaning of self-reliance, commitment, and yes, even caring for another human being.

Now, for the first time in my life, I'm doing the right thing, and for the right reasons.

I'm opening a casino, dad.

It's called Lawrence's, after me.

And this is just the beginning.

Night elephant races, professional kickboxing… It's going to be my kind of town. Lawrence! Lawrence!

Well, I've got to run. Time is opium… uh… money.

Your loving son, blah, blah, blah, Lawrence.