Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) Script

Ho-ho! Cracking job, Gromit.

Hang on, old chum.

What's going on? Who is it?

Reel him in, lad.

To me. To me.

Gotcha! Thieving monster.

Ooh! Me prize pumpkin.

Me little baby. Me pride and joy.

You've saved it, Anti-Pesto.

It was nothing at all, Mrs... Oh!

Everything's under control. Ah! Oh, no!

Don't worry, madam. Ahhh!

Thank you, Mr. Wallace.

All in a night's work, Mrs. Mulch.

Ah! Huh?

Cute little feller, isn't he?

You'd never believe they'd cause so much damage.

Oh, he may look innocent, sir.

But left to his own devices, this is the ultimate vegetable-destroying machine.

Oh! Hee!

Reg, me teeth!

Job well done, lad.

Subject disarmed and neutralized.

Bless you, Anti-Pesto.

With you out there protecting our veg, the most important event of the year is safe.

Aye. And I hope they give them pests what's coming to 'em, and all.

Amen to that, Mrs. Mulch.



Oh! Whee!

It was a long, hard night last night, Gromit.

I'll need a good, hearty breakfast under me belt.

Pile it up, lad.

I'm in the mood for food!

Oh, uh... Gromit, old pal.

It's happened again. I'll need assistance.


Ah. Oh!

Well, thanks, chuck.

I'm sure that hole's getting smaller.


Another successful night. How are the inmates?

Must be getting a bit full down there.

Talking of which.

Now, for a great big plate of...



Still got me on the diet, eh, Gromit?

Watching me shape? There's a good dog.

Oh, oh! Uh...

Gromit, lad?

How is that prize marrow of yours coming on?

Must be a while since you measured it.

Mmm! Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.

As for me, I need something a bit more cheesy.





Caught red-handed, eh, lad?

I'm sorry, Gromit.

I know you're doing this for my own good, but the fact is, I'm just crackers about cheese.

Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way.

With technology.

It's time we tried my latest invention, the Mind Manipulation-emetic.


It extracts unwanted thoughts and desires.

I haven't tested it yet, but it should be perfectly safe.

Just a bit of harmless brain alteration, that's all.


Anti-Pesto Humane Pest Control. How might we be of assistance?

Ah, yes. Lady Tottington here of Tottington Hall.

Your Ladyship.

This is an honor. Oh! Ow!

It's a disaster. I have the most terrible rabbit problem.

The competition's only days away. You simply have to do something.

Certainly, ma'am. I think we're about to go up in the world, lad.

Just stay right where you are, Your Ladyship, and we'll be with you in an...

In an hour? I can't wait an hour.

I have a major infestation. Hmm? Hello? Hello?


Ah. That's more like it.

Thank goodness you've... Oh.

What ho! For you, my love.

Victor. How lovely and... unexpected.

Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother and tootled straight on over to sort the blighters out.

Gosh, that's awfully sweet of you.

But you really needn't bother.

It's no bother, little boo-boo.

It's the least a chap can do for his filly.

Don't want pests spoiling our beautiful manor house, do we?

"Our" manor house?

No one's mentioned marriage, Victor.

All in good time, my dear.

Vermin first, though, what what.

Come on, Phillip.


We can deal with this humanely.

Oh-ho! Very classy.

Just the sort of client we should be dealing with, eh, lad?


Burrowing bounders!

They must be breeding like...

...well, rabbits.

Only one thing for it, lad.

Victor, hadn't we agreed? Hmm.

No more thoughtless killing.

Quite right, my dear.

So I've thought this one through very carefully.

It's off to bunny heaven for you, big ears.

Victor! No!

Ah! What the...

Champion sucker, eh, Gromit?

The BunVac 6000.

Wheel This'll impress Her Ladyship.

I don't understand. It should have been a bull's-eye.

Oh, Victor. I felt we'd made a real breakthrough with this hunting obsession of yours. I really thought you'd changed.

I'm sorry, Campanula, but I am what I am.

There's no nonsense with Victor Quartermaine.

What you see is what you get.

What the...

Sounds like a really big brute, this one.

Give it some more welly.


Maybe I should've used a bigger nozzle.


Anti-Pesto, you're here.


Your Ladyship.

My darlings!

You're safe.

Oh. My word!

What a fabulous job you've done. And not a single one harmed.

Ah, the old BV6000, ma'am.

Capable of 125 RPM. That's "rabbits per minute."

How inspired!

Mister... Oh, Wallace.

Mr. Wallace. Mmm.

Oh. Is this all of them?

Uh, just one left. Hoist her up, Gromit.

Victor, stop fooling around in the dirt and have a look at this.

The ingenious Anti-Pesto have completely dealt with my rabbit problem.

Isn't it marvelous? Marvelous?


This confounded contraption virtually suffocated me!

Besides, the job's only half done.

How do you intend to finish these vermin off?

Crush 'em? Liquidize 'em?

They're humane. "Humane"?

Well, then perhaps they'd be humane enough to give me back my dignity.

I want...

Toupee, please.

Oh, grand. Uh, we take check or cash.

"Toupee," you idiot! My hair is in your machine.

Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there.

The hare, I think you'll find, is a much larger mammal.

Out of my way, fool.

I'm sorry, my dear, but I refuse to suffer any further humiliation at the hands of these blundering nitwits.

I therefore bid you good day.

Thank you for ridding me of a real problem, Mr. Wallace.

Tell me, what exactly will you do with all these rabbits?

Oh, uh...

Trade secret.

Yes. I'd be happy to let them roam free if it wasn't for the competition.

But they do so love their veg.

It's in their little bunny natures, and you can't change that, can you?


Or can you?

Why didn't we think of it before, lad?

The solution to all our storage problems.

Simply by connecting the BunVac to the Mind Manipulation-emetic, we can brainwash the bunnies.

Rabbit rehabilitation.

Once cured of their antisocial veg-ravaging behavior, the rabbits can be safely released without fear of re-offending.

Just a little added lunar power to enhance the mind waves...

...and we can begin.

Veg, bad.

Veg, bad.

Veg, bad.

Say no to carrots, cabbage and cauliflower.

Well, come on, lad, what are you waiting for?

Turn on the BunVac.

Full suction.


It's working, Gromit. Oh! It's working!


Their tiny bunny brains are being saturated in my veg-free mind waves.

Huh? Huh?

Another 30 minutes' brainwashing should suffice.

Then we can move on to the conditioning.

Ooh! Ooh!


Switch it off!

Wheel Get it off!

Get it off me, lad!

Oh, thanks, lad.


Give us a carrot.


Ah! It worked, Gromit!

A reformed rabbit.

We'll call him Hutch. Shall we?

Come on. Let's get the kettle on.

We'll see to him in the morning.

Ho-ho! I feel we're on the cusp of a real breakthrough, lad.

Mankind freed from rabbit problems forever.

Lady Tottington will be impressed.

Good night.

Sleep tight.

And don't let the bedbugs bite.

Good night, Gromit.

Sweet dreams, old chum.

Protect and nourish the frail and the weak, 0 Lord.

Let them grow big and strong under Thy loving care.

In fact, let them grow bigger and stronger than anyone else's, so that the first prize might be mine.


A harvest offering to bind the deal.

We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on...



He sends the snow in Winter...

All good gifts around us'

Are sent from...

Heavens above.


Hello? Is anybody there?

Mrs. Mulch?

Please, come forward, whoever you are.

There's no need to be afraid.

Ah! You're hungry. Then please, take what you like.

It is for the needy, after all.

No! No! No! No!



Morning, Gromit.

A pest-free night per... chance?


Lumme day.

It's a disaster. Me garden's ruined.

It's carnage out there. Where were Anti-Pesto?

Simmer down. Simmer down, now.

Right. One at a time, if ya please.

We paid good money for our crop protection.

If ya can't deliver the goods, maybe you should keep your traps shut.

Oh, I never saw such cauliflower carnage.

Worse than the Great Slug Blight of '32, when there were slugs the size of pigs.

Growbag's right. The slugs are back!

The slugs are back!

That's enough! That's enough!

Look, this flippin' vegetable competition causes nothin' but trouble every year. Here we go.

If ya ask me... Get on with ya!

Know what? I'll tell ya. If ya ask me, this was arson.

Arson? Aye!

Someone "arsin'" around.

That's right. One of you lot. A man.

This was no man.

Does a man have teeth the size of ax blades?

Or ears like terrible tombstones?

By tampering with nature, forcing vegetables to swell far beyond their natural size, we have brought a terrible judgment upon ourselves.

Hey! Give over!


And for our sins, a hideous creature has been sent to punish us all!

Repent! Repent!

Lest you too, taste the wrath of...

...the Were-Rabbit!

This is terrible! What's going to happen to us?

Doomed! Who's going to help us?

What's to become of the vegetable show? We live for that competition.

Get off me. We're simple folk. It's all we have.

Who will save us? Get... Hey!

A were-rabbit?

Oh, come, come, now.

I do believe the Vicar's been to the communion wine again.

What we are dealing with here is no supernatural rabbit.

It's a big fellow, perhaps.

But a mortal creature of flesh and blood.

A matter easily dealt with by a hunter.

Guns will not be necessary, thank you, Victor.

Hasn't there been enough destruction?

I believe the killing of fluffy creatures is never justified.

I say we give Anti-Pesto a second chance.

What? How on Earth would those tiny-minded buffoons ever catch such a big rabbit?

Mr. Wallace?



Ooh, well...

With a big trap.

By Jove. He's... He's got it!

Genius! Genius!

Brilliant. What a great idea!

Hmm. Clever.

You see, Victor, there's hope for the vegetables yet.

Not the ones I'm looking at.

That's me boys!

Ah! Love, Gromit.

Ah! Love, Gromit.

That's the biggest trap of all.

The "tender trap," they call it.

And that's what we'll use to catch this thing.

Yes, lad, a lovely lady rabbit.

How could any hot-blooded rabbit-beast resist?

Oh, come on, Gromit.

A bit more, you know, alluring.


Very cheeky.


That's more like it, lad.

How can we possibly fail now?

You're a total knockout.


Stick around, lad.

Should fix back on quite easily.

Nighty-night, me lovelies.

Think big now.


Don't worry. No. No.

Well, I'm very sorry, Mrs. Mulch.

We'll get there as soon as we can. Mr. Dibber. Oh, yes.

Can I call you back? Mrs. Girdling.

A tunnel you say? What do you intend to do about this?

Oh! I'll look into it.

So where did you get to, lad?

I thought I told you to stay put.

It's gone mad around here.

I thought we were supposed to be a team.

How are we ever gonna catch this thing if you go gallivanting off on your own all the time?

You're doing it again!

Where are you going now?



Really, lad.

You do realize I've made a personal promise to Lady Tottington.

How is this sort of behavior going to get us any nearer to finding a rabbit-monster?


Oh, Gromit.

We've created a monster.

Hutch is the beast.

The lunar panels.

They must've over-stimulated Hutch's primitive bunny nature.

And now, when the moon appears, he undergoes a hideous transformation.


Oh, Gromit.


Oh, this is absolutely...


Don't you see, lad?

Okay, so we've created a veg-ravaging rabbit-monster.

But we've also captured it.

Just like I promised Lady Tottington.

I'll go and tell her the good news.

Make sure he doesn't escape.


Mr. Wallace.

It's the beast, Your Ladyship. I bring great news.

Gosh, how exciting. Please, do come in.

Well, this is simply spiffing news.

With the beast in captivity, the competition can go ahead as planned.

You saved the day, Mr. Wallace.

It was nothing, Your Ladyship.

So modest.

Oh, please, do help yourself.



I so appreciate you coming all this way to let me know, Wallace.

Tell me, are you a vegetable-lover yourself?

They're... growing on me. Then come with me.

There's something very special I want to show you.


Hop in.

It's very snug. It's my Jacob's ladder.

And it goes all the way to heaven.

Welcome to my inner sanctum, Wallace.

My secret garden. Hmm!

It's a veritable, vegetable paradise.

I just knew you'd love it.

Unlike Victor.

He's never shown any interest in my produce.

Oh! His loss, Lady Tottington. Please, Wallace.

Call me "Totty."

If anything were to happen to my vegetables, I don't know what I'd do.

I'm sure you understand, Mr. Wallace.

I can see that you're a true nature lover.

Oh, yes. Yes, lam.

At first, I thought I could change Victor.

Now I'm not so sure. Oh!

Do you think a man can change, Wallace?

Change? Oh!

Oh, yes.

Really, Phillip. The things one does for love.


Mr. Wallace. Oh, Totty.


I'd like to show you one last thing.

Something no other man has ever seen.


My carrot de Chantenay.

Just smell it, Wallace.

Feel its silken flesh. Oh, yes.

Isn't it the most sumptuous, succulent specimen you've ever seen?

Yes! Doesn't it fill your heart with desire? Yes!

Just imagine what it would taste like.

What on Earth were you thinkin' of, lad?

Ruined a perfectly good piece of fashionable knitwear, that did.

To say nothing of a relationship with an important client.

It's lucky for us Her Ladyship was so understanding.

Honestly, I don't know what's got into you lately.

And slow down for pity's sake.

You'll buckle me trunnions.


Don't worry. I'll see to this.

You stay here where you belong. In the doghouse.


It's heavier than it looks.

I know your little secret, Pesto.

I know exactly what's going on. Your Lordship...

Oh, yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don't you?

You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune?

Who, me? Well, I got here first!

I've spent along time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover.

And I'm not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me.

Comprenez? Oh, uh, right-o.

I'll be off then. Ta-ta.

You're not going anywhere, Pesto.


Not until I've taught you a jolly good lesson.

Come on! Queensberry rules!

Put 'em up, ya little pipsqueak.

You're shaking.

Don't tell me you're a scaredy-cat as well as a scoundrel.

And don't think acting like a big girl's blouse will get you out of it.

There's no mercy with Victor Quartermaine.



What the dickens?

What on Earth...


Phillip! Attack!


What the...



Vicar! Oh, where the devil is he?

Do you want to confess?

I want to talk to you about...

...the beast.

Everything you need to know is in this book.

"Nun Wrestling." No. I meant this one.




Here it is.

The hideous monster plaguing our parish.

The Were-Rabbit.

So it's true.

The beast lurks within all of us, my child.

The side that emerges at night as the moon rises into the sky.

The side that savagely rips the leaves off any innocent cabbage.

Spare me the sermon, Vicar.

Just tell me how I kill him. I mean "it."

To kill such a creature would require nerves of steel and...

...a bullet.

A bullet?

A bullet.

A bull... Oh!

What kind of bullet?

A bullet of pure gold.



Twenty-four karat.


Get out of my way.

Silly, old fool.

Beware! Beware of the beast within!



Perfect re-entry, Gromit.

This veg diet's doing the trick, eh, lad?

I feel smashing.


So how's our rabbit-monster, hmm?

Hope you're keeping an eye on him.



What's up, dog?

Well, fancy that.

Rabbit ears.

That is a bit odd.

And what are you tryin' to say, lad?



What? You think that I'm the...

Because of these?

Oh, no.

No. This is just a reaction to that healthy veg diet you've got me on.

It's the toxins coming out.

Silly, old pooch.

Thinking I'm the beast.

Next thing you'll be saying is that Hutch is turning into me.

Hey. What are you doing, lad?

Have you gone completely mad?





I do like a bit of Gorgonzola.

Oh, dear.

Perfect. Ma'am.

Now, let's see. Coming through!

The tombola's arrived.

And the bouncy Tottington Hall.


Oh, it's going to be such a jolly competition tonight.

I just know it.

Ya don't know nothin'. What?

The beast has struck again. That's what.

That's right!

No, you're quite mistaken, Mrs. Mulch.

The beast is in captivity. Oh, yeah?

Then just take a look at my wife's brassicas.

Ravaged in the night. But I don't understand.

Anti-Pesto told me... A pack of lies!

It's not safe to bring our vegetables here.

The show's off.

But this is simply dreadful news.

The Tottingtons have held a giant vegetable competition on this very night for over 500 years.

That's right.

Not even the Great Duck Plague of '53 stopped it.


If only there were another way.

What ho!

It's Quartermaine.

Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother.

Didn't this bit used to...

Now. Now, let's see.


Oh, where does this part go?



Oh, it's hopeless.

I'll never fix this flippin' machine. Oh!

Me mind's just a rabbit-y mush.

Oh, Gromit.

I don't wanna be a giant rabbit!


The bounce is gone from his bungee.

Hey, Pesto! Rabbit rehabilitation.

But if I can't fix it...


...maybe the other me can!

I'm inventing, mostly.

Look at me go! Ho-ho! I'm a genius.

Oh, heck! I can't answer the door. Not like this.

Charming. I'm Wallace.

I already am!



Huh? Wallace?

Uh, hang on a Mo'.


Hello? I say. Open this door at once.



Uh, "Lady Tottington," if you don't mind.

Oh. I'm afraid I have some rather bad news, Wallace.

Thing is, well, you've rather let me down with this beastly beast business.

I suppose I have. Yes.

It's obvious to me that you have absolutely no idea where this poor creature is.

And I'm afraid you've given me no option but to let Victor shoot the poor thing.

Shoot it?

Yes. Wasn't an easy choice, but the veg competition has to come first.

Besides, Victor's promised me it won't suffer.

It will be quick and painless.

How thoughtful.

I cannot deny it was a difficult decision for me.

Because I've recently developed...


...feelings for you.

Feelings? Oh, well, never mind, eh?

Ta-Ra, then. Wait! Wallace.

I haven't finished yet. There's so much more that needs to be said.

Well, I'll give you a tinkle, shall I?

Can't we at least shake hands? Part as friends?

It's not very convenient at the moment.

Thanks for coming by.

Well, I... I...

That's right, my lovely.

You can say goodbye to your fluffy lover-boy.

You gotta help me, Gromit!

Hide me. Anything.

Before it's too late!


Your Lordship.


Good night, Gromit.


'Tis done.

My poor sensitive child.

Allow us all to share in your moment of sorrow.


On with the show!

Huh? What the...

Why you...

Of course.

The vegetable competition.

Your loyalty is moving.

Sadly, you won't be.

Come along, Phillip.

Everyone's been looking forward to a good show.

Let's see they get one.

Hooray! Mr. Growbag.

I... I have a hunch this'll be a night to remember.

I just have a hunch.

All right. All right. If we must do this flipping veg show, let's do it in an orderly and law-abiding fashion.

Cucumbers, give way to marrows.

Carrots, wait your turn!

Aubergines... A-ha! There's our bait, Phillip.

All we have to do now is wait for our fluffy friend to appear.

Look over here, everyone! It's Victor!

He's here! Our hero.

Please, sir, kiss my baby.

Another time, perhaps. Kiss my potato.

Not now. Kiss my artichoke.

Look, just... Victor.


Victor, I have to know. Did it suffer?

Of course not, my dear. Not yet, anyway.

Victor? Oi, you.

Constable. Careful with them capsicums.

Listen, I don't want to cause panic, but the beast isn't actually dead yet.

The beast isn't actually dead yet? What?


To the competition stand!

Cracking toast, Gromit.

I'm just crackers about cheese.

Monterey Jack. Ooh!

Smashing Wensleydale.



Job well done, lad.



Now, listen carefully.

I've only got two...

I've only got one gold bullet left.

So leave this to me.

Yes, all right, I admit the beast is still at large.

But the good news is your prize vegetables are the perfect bait...


...and will draw the creature like a magnet.

But you must keep perfectly still... My baby.

Don't finch...

There, there, love. It'll be all... Huh? Don't even move a muscle.

Mrs. Mulch! No!

It's not getting my baby!

Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.

Come back! Come back!

Yes. Right on cue.

Come back!

Come back!

Go away!

That's right. Come to Uncle Victor.

It's coming for us!


What the...

Hurrah for Anti-Pesto!

It's getting away! Get off, you stupid...


Vicar, I need more gold bullets.

They don't come cheap, you know.

Victor? What are you doing?

I need it, my sweet. Emergency.

Victor, no! Please! Come, now, Campanula, let go.

But it's my Golden Carrot Award.

This is hardly the time, my darling.

Give it to me this instant! But Victor!

Cheese, Gromit.

The Golden Carrot belongs in the show!

No, the Golden Carrot belongs in the Were-Rabbit.


Every man for himself!

Help! Help! Help me!

Put me down at once, you great, big, hairy thing, you!

Stop! Stop!

Mob supplies! Get your angry mob supplies here.

Put her down, you great ugly brute!

I'll bagsy the lucky rabbit's foot.

Help me, someone! Help me!



No. No, no, no!





Put me down! Put me down, you...

Whatever you are! Help!

What is it?

What are you staring at with those beastly eyes?



Oh, Wallace.

What ever have you done to yourself?

Well, don't you worry. I'll protect you.

Get your hairy mitts off my future wife, you big brute.

No! Victor!

You don't understand. The hunt is off.

It's... We made a terrible mistake.

Oh, no. You commissioned me to rid you of Pesto, and that's just what I intend to do.

Oh! Huh?


Why, you knew it was Wallace all along.

Oh, all right.

So what if it is that blithering idiot.

No one will ever believe you.

And if I can't have your money, I can still bag your bunny.

My eyes!

Run, rabbit, run!


I rather like your hair pinned back.

No, Victor, no! Stop! Please!

Ha! Victor!

You can hop, but you can't hide, Pesto.

Beware the moon!

Stupid interfering mutt.



Stand back! There may be a large rabbit dropping!

Looks like the buck stops here.

Huh? Oh.


Eat karat, bunny boy!

Potty poo!


No one beats Victor Quartermaine!

Is that so?


Consider yourself dumped.

He's in there!

There he is! Surround him!

There he is! Over there!

Phillip, help me! Phillip!

Do something.

Destroy! Drive out the monstrosity!

Well, let's see how he likes it.


Oh, Gromit.

Well, at least now he's at peace.

The rabbit's gone.

If only there were a way to bring back Wallace.

Hee, hee, hee!

Lovely cheese, Gromit.


Oh, don't forget the crackers.




It's me again. I'm back!

Gromit! You clever mutt.

Well done, old pal!

Totty! Wallace! You're... Oh!

Oh! Oops.

Thanks, lad. Uh-oh.

Uh... Oh, look!

Well, I think you deserve this, Gromit.

For a brave and splendid marrow.

We've all got a lot to thank you for.


Every dog has his day. Hmm?

And thank you, Wallace.

You've saved me from a terrible marriage.

All the same, it is going to be rather lonely at Tottington Hall now.


I have a little proposal for you, Wallace.

I'm so thrilled you agreed to go through with this.

Oh, my pleasure, Totty.

One for the album, Gromit.

Huh? Oh.

I declare this bunny sanctuary officially open.

When you're ready, lad.

Fire up the old BV6000.

Oh, it's simply marvelous.

My home, a safe haven for all things fluffy.

I do hope you'll still come visit, Wallace.

I'd rather got used to having you around.

Oh! There'll always be a part of me here at Tottington Hall. Oh.

Give it some more welly, lad.