We Are Your Friends (2015) Script

Fixed & Synced by bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick

(MOUSE CLICKING) (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS) (MOUSE CLICKS)

(TESTING DIFFERENT DANCE BEATS)

(MOUSE CLICKING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(ISOLATED SYNTH PLAYING IN LOWER KEY)

MASON: Well, it's gonna be a big night, right?

I mean, how much are we looking at?

NICKY ON PHONE: I'll give you five a head.

MASON: Five a head? Fuck you.

There's tiki bars in Encino that pay more than that.

We're gonna pull out on you, then.

How about I guarantee you 500 heads.

And you fucking bump us up to seven?

You pull 500 girls in the club, I'll give you fucking head.

Wait, am I on speaker?

MASON: Yeah, my phone's broke.

What time is Cole's set?

Oh, yeah, Cole. I got him down at 9:00 p.m.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Who's going on at 11:00?

Uh, DJ Gavin playing at 11:00.

(MOUTHING)

Does DJ Gavin have 25 Kappa Alpha Alpha mega-sluts coming in a fucking party bus?

'Cause they ain't gonna be there until 11:00.

You know, be a fucking gentleman, Nicky.

Be a gentleman? Fuck you, kid.

11:00. And fix your goddamn phone.

All right, bitch.

(COLE LAUGHING)

I got you, boo!

(GRUNTS) Primetime!

You know, it's a major night for my boy, all right?

Just, you know, cut loose.

Bring whoever. Bring them all.

Bring them all. The girl with the dimples.

See you then.

150 heads. Nice, man.

Ooh! No, thanks.

MASON: And the squirrel came scurrying up the tree.

Yo, yo.

Get out. I'm driving.

What? Get out. I'm driving.

Get in. Get in. Come on.

MASON: There he is.

Wearing a leather jacket in the summertime.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. MASON: Good God.

Five, four, three, two, one.

(SCHOOL BELL TOLLING)

James Reed. Thursday. Social.

You should come out to Social. James Reed is headlining.

How are you doing? Do you like, uh...

Do you like electronic music?

Your nose job looks great.

Do you promise?

James Reed. Social. Thursdays. Bring a friend.

Bring all your friends. If they look like you, bring 'em all.

Here, here, all of you guys.

Girl, you want to come out on Thursday?

James Reed is DJing.

Social. Thursdays. I'll take care of you.

Okay.

Here, put your number in my phone.

If you guys bring, like, a couple of friends, I can get you a free bottle. It's Cole, by the way.

See you Thursday.

I should have gone to college.

COLE: This is the San Fernando Valley, that flat stretch of land on the other side of the Hollywood Hills.

Our greatest contributions to American culture remain the porn industry and ditsy girls.

But we've also got the best sushi in the western hemisphere.

And it's always in a strip mall. Always.

That's my friend Mason's house.

And that's the pool house in the back where I've been living since I was 15.

That's where we threw down with some punks from Canoga Park and I got this awesome scar.

And these are my friends.

Shh.

Yo, yo. The fact is that 99% of all people in this world, they're looking for a party. Okay?

And 1% of people, they are the party.

You gotta fucking be that.

You know, your body is 85% water and I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty.

This isn't some unce unce bridge-and-tunnel bullshit.

This is the best dance party in L.A.

And that guy right there...

He's DJing. I'm DJing.

Just the side room, though.

Just the side room.

COLE: These days you can invent an app, start a blog, sell shit online.

But if you're a DJ, all you need is a laptop, some talent and one track.

That track is your ticket to everything.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Man, DJing, producing, look, it's hard.

It's a saturated market.

Yeah. 'Cause there's not enough actors in L.A.

I'm not an actor.

I'm a movie star.

This is gonna be the best...

The best... The best...

The best night... The best night...

ALL: The best night of your life.

MASON: You're so fucking pretty, Ollie. Like an angel.

Get off me. You smell like shit.

OLLIE: This one's off Beachwood.

Four bedrooms, a party deck.

Two hundred square-foot dining room.

Perfect for entertaining.

You know, we could turn the dining room into our office.

Mase, uh, dude, the cheapest place here is six grand.

I mean, you don't have enough money to fix your car.

Hey!

With Ollie's drug money... Shut up.

And our nights at Social blowing up, okay, we're gonna be out of the Valley by the end of this summer.

Okay? And I feel...

Look, I feel really fucking good about Thursday.

I mean, like, like so good, like when Jenny Haze put her finger up my asshole good, dude.

Like that kind of good.

Dude, that was your finger.

That was your finger.

I'm pretty sure she wasn't even there.

Jenna Haze's fingers.

Listen, believe in me?

'Cause I believe in you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

What's up, kids? Good to see you, bro.

You're looking sharp as ever, Paige.

Yeah, you, too, man.

Hey, you know my boys. Squirrel, Cole and Mason.

PAIGE: What's up?

Young hustlers' club. I like it, I like it.

We prefer to be called entrepreneurs but, uh...

You're an entrepreneur! My kind of guy.

Yo, Paige, man, you should come to the new spot, Social, on Thursday.

Social? I'll take care of you.

PAIGE: You're gonna take care of me, huh?

OLLIE: That's right. Tell you what, whenever you guys are ready to start making some real loot, you need to holler at me, you know, bring the boys.

You do that. Think about it, huh?

I'll tell you what, brunch is on me, all right, fellas?

Bye-bye. (SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

Why is he talking about money? What money?

Man, Paige is always recruiting.

For what? Doesn't he, like, produce porn?

No, he's in real estate, assface.

Can he just, what, get us a house, then?

We're sitting here talking about houses...

No, no, no. He's like a real estate businessman.

(LAUGHS) What does that mean?

I don't know what that is.

Okay, I'm not exactly sure what he does.

But... (WHISTLES)

He's making a lot of money doing it.

(MASON GRUNTS)

(ELECTRONIC KEYBOARD PLAYING)

(MASON GROWLING)

(GROWLS)

(SNARLS)

Mason.

Mason.

I asked you three times to work on that roof yesterday.

The toilet's still broken.

Okay. I'll fucking do it later.

Now.

Okay. You, too, Cole.

Sorry, my dad's such a dick.

(NAIL GUN FIRING)

OLLIE: Later, Pop.

SQUIRREL: Cheers. MASON: Cheers.

All right, this is for you, Squirrel.

Yo, I got one. I got one. I got one.

This moment right here, with all of you guys, this is honestly my favorite part of the night.

It's the moment before it starts.

(ALL CHEERING)


Mason. Mason, where's my 500, bro?

You see the fucking line outside?

You can wait to thank me till the end of the night, 'kay?

Hey, you. Do not play any of the songs on that list.

Do you understand me?

Save Firepower for Mr. Reed.

Ooh! Hello, beautiful.

You look so fucking important with that list in your hand.

Here you go.

What's up, Devin? What's up, Cole?

How are you doing? I'm good, man.

Good. Yeah.

Warming the room up for you. It's all good.

Thanks, bro. Hey, buddy.

All right, have fun, man.

What a dick.

Yo, Ollie, my main man. How you doing?

Good, good, good. Look, hook me up with another round.

I'll throw you a Vine, I'll make you famous and shit.

All right, I got you.

You guys let me know if you need anything, all right?

Off the menu.

Hey, hey, bro, bro. I'm boys with your friend.

You know, Ollie, the pretty boy.

Uh, sorry, kid. I'm fucking sorry.

Wait, wait. What about this guy?

You know him?

Don't "bro" me if you don't know me.

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS) This party sucks.

L.A.'s dead. (BOTH) Hi, Sarah.

Hey, Cole, can you play Drunk in Love?

Absolutely not.

Hey, Squirrel, I like your shirt.

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

Ow! What the hell?

We gotta round up chicks for Paige.

COLE: Looks like he's doing fine.

OLLIE: Yeah, those girls are wack.

All right, find me something.

(SIGHS)


What do you think of this guy?

This guy? Yeah.

GIRL: I think he's getting paid too much.

What do you think about him?

COLE: I think he used to be good.

Now I think he's just gives the people what they want.

Hey, do you wanna come sit at my friend's table?

You can drink for free.

Do you promote here?

No.

My friends promote here.

Right. I kind of help.

Well, have a nice night. I...

(CROWD CHEERING)


Hey, you're James Reed, right?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you smoke?

Yes, I do.

(COUGHING)

What the fuck is that? What?

Is there tobacco in that? Yeah.

It's a spliff. A "spliff"?

What are you, French?

No. I'm American.

All right. This is the most important advice you're ever gonna get.

Never mix THC with nicotine.

It fogs up the high.

It'll last longer if you mix it.

It's not about making it last longer, it's about enjoying it.

You spin here regularly?

Yeah.

They pay you? Mmm-mmm.

No.

But the drinks are free.

Well, that's nice of them.

You wanna go to a party?

What, like now? Yeah. Right now.

It should be fun.

Yeah.

You want?

Yeah, sure.

So, like, where have you been to, to spin?

Okay. Tokyo, Berlin, Frankfurt...

Uh, Belgium.

Dubai, which is in the Middle East.

Yeah, it's like Vegas of the Middle East.

Ibiza, Majorca, Madrid, Paris.

Paris, they got some great music right now.

Yo, you seen Cole?

Can't say I have.

Then what's the plan?

See you in the morning.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy.

That painting is worth more than my car.

James?

Mmm?

This painting is alive.

Nah.

It's just the PCP talking.

PCP?

Ooh.

Well, I've seen many door girls in my day but this one... Look.

I will go home with you tonight under two conditions.

Yes. One, you understand that it is pity sex and I will never admit to it.

And two, you shut the fuck up for the rest of the night.

Okay?

(CAR ALARM BLARING) Where are those nuts, Squirrel?

Where did you hide your fucking nuts?

It ain't winter yet. (GROANS)

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)


(GASPS)


What are you doing here?

Um, me and James went to a party, I think.

What are you doing here? (JAMES YAWNING)

I... I live here. Oh, my God!

My brain is bleeding.

My blood is going to start coming out of my eyeballs.

You like this homeless puppy I found?

Is he housebroken?

I don't know. Check the rugs.

I can actually smell the whisky coming out of your skin.

Mmm?

You didn't drive home last night, did you?

You used to smell like fermented liquor, too.

Cole, this is Sophie, my role model.

Nice to meet you, Cole.

Nice to meet you.

You were talking a big game last night, kid.

(SIGHS) I was?

You were saying, "All I need is one track."

You were gonna control people's hearts, fly around the world. (CHUCKLES)

I'm not supposed to drink whisky.

Or take PCP.

Uh...

Do you have any aspirin?

We have tons of aspirin but I'm not giving you shit until you play me something.

You have tracks on your phone, right?

(SIGHS) Okay.

It's not really morning music.

Oh, well, that's okay because it's 12:30.

JAMES: It's 12:30?

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE)

I'm just gonna skip ahead.

It's fun.

"Fun"?

I'm gonna pour myself a drink before this hangover gets real.

Soph, can we get Cole an Uber?

SOPHIE: Um...

I can give him a ride.

I have some errands to run, so...

Great! I'll be here, festering slowly.

You know, James is a snob.

He's really hard on everyone.

So... Don't worry, it's cool.

It's not...

(COLE CHUCKLES)

Stanford, huh?

That's a nice school.

Do you go to college?

No.

I could have gone to college. Mmm.

I could have run track at UC Davis.

Why... Why didn't you?

Well...

School is a waste of time.

It can be if you're doing something better with your time.

SQUIRREL: Can't believe you guys just left me abandoned there with Sara.

Dicks.

She did unspeakable things.

MASON: Ugh, this fuckin'...

This girl straight beat my ass.

I thought I was strong, man.

Girl was supposed to call me later. It's whatever.

Gentlemen, your earnings.

MASON: Hey, hey.

At ease.

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

200 bucks?

What the fuck is this, man?

We brought in 560 people last night.

We brought in 562.

I thought that was the point of this, we bring in 500 heads.

I'm gonna fucking murder that cheesy motherfucker!

I just read about this guy, right, who invented Instagram.

He sold it for $400 million.

So?

Man, he was 26 years old.

I mean, he spent the next fucking year of his life flying around the world, taking pictures of his girlfriend on different beaches.

Kevin Systrom. What?

It's Kevin Systrom. The guy who invented Instagram, his name is Kevin Systrom.

Fuck Kevin Systrom!

Dude, I live for Thursdays. The club is my thing.

Yeah, man. I'm not saying we should quit altogether but aren't you tired of taking taxis back from fucking Silver Lake every night?

I'm tired of taking Squirrel's mom's fucking station wagon.

Okay. I'm tired of driving your bum ass around.

I'm fucking tired of you jerking off

5 feet from my pillow.

You're not gonna get tired of that ever.

You guys want to make real money?

Or you want to fucking live and die in the Valley?

Look, I have an idea.

(PAIGE READING)

All this abstract, computerized, digitized, on-paper bullshit is for pussies.

Fuck a diamond, that shit's forever.

Hi, Mrs. Henderson?

Hi, I'm calling from Gold Star Realty Solutions.

Hi, my name is Cole.

I'm calling from Gold Star Realty Solutions.

This is a list of homeowners in the area that are in the unfortunate position of facing foreclosure.

I was wondering if I could talk to, uh, a Mr. Stein?

Uh, Mr. "Steen"?

So we're cold-calling people?

No. No. No, no.

You are calling people who are in need, with the solution that they are looking for.

When you call these people, you're calling as their friend.

We charge $5,000 to negotiate their foreclosures with the banks.

Every deal you close, I give you 15%.

Well, that's like 600...

$750.

Boom. Good fucking math, kid.

Now to, uh, restore your faith in humanity, let me break you off something real proper-like.

Welcome to the kingdom, boys.

MASON: Holy shit!

That's like 1,000 bucks at least.

Oh!

OLLIE: Smell it. Smell it. Smell it.

Let's do this. Let's do this. Come on. It's a good thing.

(SAW WHIRRING) MASON: So, Dad, me and Cole, we're making some money, and I thought maybe we could invest in a roof and some new floors and we can have this fucking house ready to sell by winter.

(MOBILE VIBRATING) For sure.

Hello? JAMES: Yo, San Fernando.

- It's James. What's up, man?

What are you doing Saturday?

Uh, nothing. Nothing. Why?

You wanna make some cash?

Doing what?

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

Hey, can you play Drunk in Love?

Uh...

Please?

Yeah, sure, I'll try to work it in.

For you, sir, from James.

What, are you, like, his secretary now?

His assistant, actually.

Oh, you look so surprised.

Wow!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Were you trying to tell her all about the free drinks you can get her on Thursdays?

What's in there? Rosé?

Here.

Club soda. With cranberry.

Very stealth.

Hey, you know, this party's looking a little stiff, Cole.

So what are you saying? Do I need to amp it up?

You could try but this crowd doesn't dance before midnight.

Okay.

(COLE SPEAKING)

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) So it's the DJ's job to get the crowd out of their heads and into their bodies.

So in order to do that, you need at the very least...

(COLE READING) a cursory knowledge of mathematics and the broad strokes of 9th-grade biology.

For example, the baseline controls this region of the body right here.

The most important region.

There's always going to be resistance, so you gotta be patient.

Look for that one person who's not afraid to just go for it.


Next, you want to zero in on their heartbeats.

I like to start them off at about 120 beats per minute.

That's equivalent to the heartbeat of a long-distance runner.

You see, BPM is the name of the game.

(COLE READING)

- About 60 BPMs. (REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING)

(DUBSTEP MUSIC PLAYING)

Dubstep is actually 140 BPMs cut to half-speed, it ends up being about 70 BPMs.

(HOUSE MUSIC PLAYING)

House is around 110 to 130 BPMs.

(COLE READING)

(HARDCORE MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm not sure how you dance to that.

Once you've locked onto their heart rate, you start bringing 'em up song by song.

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)


There's a popular myth that 128 beats per minute is the rate that synergizes most with your heartbeat.

That's the magic number.

Once you've gotten your crowd there, you're controlling their entire circulatory system.


Hey, man, would you mind watching this for me?

Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks, man.

What are you guys doing here?

What do you mean, what am I doing here?

Think I'm gonna come all the way out here, pick you up, and not party?

Hey, James. Uh, they're with me.

This is Mason, Ollie and Squirrel.

How is it going?

Nice to meet you all.

Actually, you met us before.

We promote at Social on Thursdays.

Listen, we should grab a bite to eat sometime, man.

I'm basically this kid's fucking manager, you know what I mean?

And I think we could use a little bit of advice.

You know what, just enjoy the party.

We'll talk shop another time.

Nice to meet you, bro.

JAMES: Hey, Cole, I wanna show you somethin'.

Just be cool.

I'm like the coolest fucking dude ever.

I don't... (MUMBLES)

Are you kidding me?

You have a Wurlitzer?

(PLAYING MELLOW MUSIC) Wow.

Well, that's not bad.

My mom taught piano.

Yeah? She still teach?

Maybe.

I wanna show you something.

This is called a Buchla.

It's a mod synth.

There's only a couple of them in the world.

Bowie used one of these in Space Oddity.

Yes, he did.

(PITCH-SHIFTING NOTES) Holy cow!

How do you ever leave this place?

You'd be surprised at all the distractions that can come up.

You were good out there, you know?

You really know how to work a crowd.

Thanks, man.

You know what? Let's hear that track of yours again.

You got it with you?

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS) Okay, here's the thing.

The beginning sounds like Skrillex's brother made it.

Okay. And then right here...

(MUSIC RESUMES)

That sounds like early Juan Atkins to me, which is good, but, uh, you're trying to be too many different people.

I want it to be that way.

I want a lot of switches. I want a lot of transitions.

Yeah.

Like, big, heavy drops. Mmm.

That's what's crushing it now.

You sound like an asshole.

All that was missing was a hashtag.

"Imitation is suicide." Emerson said that.

Okay.

Look, you can make people dance, and that's half the battle.

Any successful artist, they have this moment when they stop being an admirer and they find their signature.

You know a secret?

I never go to sushi on Mondays because, fun fact, all the fish markets are closed.

You guys want to hear something interesting?

The best sushi in all of L.A. is Teru Sushi in fucking Studio City.

(LAUGHS) Does this girl look like she eats in the Valley?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Okay, the sushi in the Valley is the best sushi in the western hemisphere, kid.

And what are you, the Valley Board of Tourism?

Mase, Mase. Chill, chill. Excuse me. Relax. Relax.

Have a sense of humor, bro.

Did he just say "bro"? Yo, I got a sense of humor.

You want to hear something fucking hilarious?

You dress like Hillary Clinton, bro.

JAMES: Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

COLE: (STAMMERS) What happened?

What was that about?

Sushi.

Sushi?

(SNIFFLES)

SQUIRREL: Pick a place, man.

Why don't we come here more often, man?

I come here all the time.

Really?

Yeah.

You know, try to clear my head.

Sorry about your gig, though.

COLE: Whatever. Yeah.

(BOTH LAUGHING)


(DOORBELL RINGING)

Oh, Jesus.

Hey. Hey.

Is James home?

Uh, yeah, he should be.

I'll let you in.


Hey, babe.

JAMES: I was just taking a little nap.

SOPHIE: I know.

(JAMES COUGHING)

Hey. What are you doing here?

I can't accept this.

Oh, Christ. Put that back in your pocket.

What do you think, I broke up with you?

No, man. Your friends, dude, they're gorillas, but me and you, we're cool.

Is that it?

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) What is that?

That one, right there. What's that loop?

That's a handclap.

Yeah, I know it's a handclap, dipshit.

But what is it? Did you make it?

It's a sample.

Well, ironically, it's the only live thing in there.

I mean, amongst all this other synthetic computer-generated garbage, that's one honest handclap.

Listen, I get it, man. I've been there before.

But you're not gonna get anywhere using the same old sounds that every other laptop DJ is using.

Yeah. But, I mean, by definition, like, all electronic music is computer-generated.

Yeah, but it can be organic.

So that synthetic kick drum...

So that tinny keyboard...

Music.

Sounds have soul.

Build them from scratch.

Find new ones.

Get your head out of that laptop and start listening to what the real fucking world is trying to tell you.

That's your problem.

You don't listen.

Hey, Jimmy is on the phone about Elysian Fields.

What days are we traveling to Vegas, 20th or 21st?

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

What do you think of that track?

Um, it's fine.

See? Haters.

Haters are your target audience.

Oh. Well, lovers know where you sleep.

Which day? 19th.

I need a blackjack day. SOPHIE: Thank you.

Hi, Jimmy. Yeah, he says, um, the 19th.

Yeah, we're looking forward to it.

I'll make sure he gets there on time.

Thank you.

JAMES: Well, you sounded highly professional right now.

Don't patronize me.

I'm gonna take a break.

You can use the space whenever you want.

You are coming with me.

SOPHIE: (GIGGLES) Are you asking or telling?

(SIGHS)

Hi, I'm calling from Gold Star Realty Solutions.

Um, may I speak with Tanya Romero?

- This is she. Hi, Tanya.

I understand that your bank's given you a notice of foreclosure.

Yesterday. How did you know that?

Well, we work with the banks to help negotiate...

(BABY FUSSING) - Shh, honey.

Sounds like you have a little monster over there.

That's my son, Richard.

Richard. (CHUCKLES)

That's actually... That's funny.

That's my dad's name.

Cole. Cole, baby, come check this out.

Why don't you let him work?

Are you really able to prevent evictions?

Uh, yeah.

Absolutely. Actually, you know what?

Let me transfer you over to my manager and he can talk you through everything.

PAIGE: First name? What?

What is the client's first name?

COLE: Tanya.

Tanya Romero.

Tanya, Paige Laurel.

I hear we're catching you at a rough time.

Right. Oh, right.

Let me just tell you a little hit about what we do.


Hey, what's up, man?

This is my boy, Cole.


(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Come on, I need your voice. I don't want to.

No, I'm not doing it. Come here. Help me, come on.

(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

You don't wanna help your buddy?

No. No!

Number nine.

(IN LOW VOICE) Number nine.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Synchronicity is electricity.

Synchronicity is electricity

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)


That's good. That's good.

That was it? Yeah, that's it.

That's how you make a track.

That was really, really scary.

That was it. That's the one.

He said, "Meet me at the fountain."

I was like, '"Fountain'? We're in Rome.

"There's fountains everywhere."

"Which fountain?"

(SPEAKING SPANISH) (SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, let's wait till Clarissa's.

Clarissa. Who's Clarissa?

Um, you met her, like, three times. She, um...

She just graduated from Stanford.

(MOBILE VIBRATING)

JAMES: Oh, the Stanford party. Right.

Come on, they're my friends.

Well, I can be your friend, baby.

Why don't you take Cole? Cole, you should go.

Come on, man. It's Friday night.

Like, what else are you gonna do?

I'm gonna watch C-Span until I lose faith in humanity.

But you guys should go.

You can talk about your millennial angst.

Too much validation.

MAN: The irony is if you're gonna be a lawyer, you're basically handing in essays for the rest of your life.

Yeah, but at least now I'm getting paid for it.

Cheers to that.

What do you do?

Uh, I'm an assistant.

Oh, yeah? Where at?

A personal assistant, actually.

For a musician. Oh, for who?

I love music.

James Reed? He's a DJ.

Yeah, I don't know him.

I'm gonna get a drink. I'll come with you.

Excuse me.

I think they spent, like, $200 on cheese.

Yeah, and half the people here don't eat dairy.

I'm gonna find the bathroom.

All right. You sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

MAN 1: Hey, that Sophie girl is pretty cute.

Is she our year?

Yeah, for like a minute. She failed out.

MAN 1: What do you mean?

Every guy in our dorm saw her tits.

I never went there personally. Wish I had.

The line's too long.

Here, let's go over here. Why?

MAN 2: And she's, like, totally fucking the DJ she works for.

He's, like, 40 and pays the bills.

MAN 1: Hey, I'd help her buy groceries for a week or two.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

SOPHIE: Don't. Hmm?

Hey, when you guys jerk each other off, do you take turns?

Or is it more of like a simultaneous kind of deal?

SOPHIE: Cole, stop!

(GLASS SHATTERS) Hey!

You really didn't have to do that.

COLE: Fuck those guys.

They wouldn't last two seconds in the real world.

SOPHIE: Those guys will end up running the real world.

Yeah, I know.

Just so you know, I didn't fail out.

I just needed to take some time off.

Now all my friends are graduating and I have nothing to show for myself.

Why don't you just go back to school?

I can't afford it.

There's a ton of schools that are cheaper than Stanford.

Yeah, maybe.

James thinks you're really talented.

Yeah?

Yeah.

(LAUGHS) He said that?

He said you have

"an acute sense of assemblage."

Yes!

What the fuck does that mean?

Is it French?

(FRENCH ACCENT) Assemblage.

(FRENCH ACCENT) Assemblage.

Do you really know what it means?

No. I don't really, either, but it's a good thing, I think.

I think so, too.

OLLIE: We have got uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, MDMA and some fucking Special K.

We've even got some mints for the kids.

I fucking love music festivals.

Yeah, every hit of ecstasy is, like, five years of jail sentence at least.

All right, rave rule number one. Okay?

If anybody gets lost, we have the buddy fucking system.

We meet back at the car, right?

I hate being daddy here, but I gotta do it. That's the rule.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)


(INAUDIBLE)


SOPHIE ON VOICEMAIL: Hey, are you here?

I'm at the Ferris wheel. Come find me.

I love it here.

I gotta go.

Hey, guys, I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

MASON: Where the fuck are you going, man?

Fuck, man! Where are you going?

James got drunk and ditched me.

Are you rolling? Me? Never.

Stick out your tongue.


Where are you, man? We're at the spot.

Just give him five minutes.


Hi. Hi.

Should we get room service?

- I want pancakes. Hmm.

I want a cheeseburger.

Cheeseburger? With bacon.

And fries.

And a side of avocado.

(CHUCKLING)

Mmm.

(SOPHIE CHUCKLING)

So good. - So good.

How is yours?

Fucking unbelievable.

Can I try?

Yes.

Oh, my God. I'm stuffing my face.

I was so hungry. So good.

Mmm.

(CHUCKLING) You have no idea.

MASON: I can'! Believe you fucking did that to your friends, right?

I mean, she'd better have been an eight and a half, like, on a bad day.

What are you fucking smiling...

You ditch your friends, and you're smiling.

It's not fucking funny. If I didn't love you, or if you didn't have such a pretty smile, I swear to God, I'd fucking take you down.

(LAUGHING)

OLLIE: You guys both be quiet.

That's the little bit you told me about.

MASON: That's the thing about girl face.

I know that face. I know that face.

(INAUDIBLE)

(LINE RINGING)

(ON VOICEMAIL) Hey, it's Sophie, leave a message.

(DEVICE BEEPING)

Gold Star Realty Solutions.

Hi, uh, this is Tanya Romero.

Is this Cole?

Yeah. Hi, Tanya.

Uh, can you do something for me?

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Hello? Cole?

Hello?

You.

What the fuck, man?

You didn't call me at the festival.

I met up with these Ukrainian acrobats...

Oh, cell phone reception was shitty.

Come on. The fight's already started.

Oh, uh, can I get you something to drink?

Uh, yeah, man, whatever you're having.

Well, I'm having Pellegrino 'cause I'm... I'm laying off.

Sure, the same thing. Same thing?

Yeah, Pellegrino.

All right. Yay!

JAMES: I'm not really into sports but there's something about grown men beating the shit out of each other while their friends watch that really intrigues me.

I'm gonna go get an energy drink.

Anybody want anything?

No, I'm good, man, thank you.

I tried to call you.

Look, it was inevitable it was gonna happen and it happened, so let's just move on.

What?

Is that what you really want?

JAMES: Anyway...

I may or may not have gotten a little sentimental.

Here you go.

It's actually a self-serving gift.

I was asked to play the Pioneer DJ Summerfest, they said I could bring an opener.

Are you kidding me?

But then I imagined you up there with your janky rig in front of all those gyrating tweens.

And it just didn't sit right.

You better get that track ready.

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)


This, uh, I... I found on my door yesterday.

Uh-oh. (EXHALES SHARPLY)

God!

Just awful. Mmm.

I can't even imagine.

(SIGHS)

So, what's the next move?

Mrs. Romero, I'm sure you must know the housing market right now, it's just brutal.

Now, I brought a record of our correspondence with your bank and if you look at this, you can see that we pushed.

It's just... These guys, they just, they do not wanna work with us.

Where does that leave me?

Yeah, Paige, there's gotta be something we could do.

Okay. Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

Look, there is, uh... (LAUGHS) There's one thing, I guess.

(STAMMERS) It's not something that we usually do.

But if you were to sign the deed of your house over to us, I could offer you a $20,000 rebate right here on the spot.

You're offering to buy my house for $20,000 but it's worth $300,000.

Yeah, but that's just a number, right?

I mean, it really doesn't mean anything.

You see, that number doesn't matter because you're in foreclosure.

So you could lose your house, get nothing, or sign it over to us.

I'll rent it back to you and I'll do it at a lower rate.

What was that?

Just did more for that woman than any bank ever could.

You just stole her fucking house.

No, no, no. We just made real fucking money in there.

You got that? Real fucking money.

Did you see that chandelier?

I will sell this place for 500-600 grand, easy.

Sell it?

You just said you were gonna rent it back to her.

(LAUGHING) This guy.

You got to relax, kid.

I'm not talking about doing it overnight, all right?

Fuck, man! - Hey, hey, hey!

Listen.

Everybody is responsible for themselves. You got that?

You just walked in that house, you earned yourself a $15,000 bonus.

Now, do you want that money or are you too upset?

(ENGINE STARTING)

(PLAYING KEYBOARD)


JAMES: You know why the dining experience is subpar in LA?

Because the restaurant staff is biding their time until they land a sitcom.

They can remember their lines but they can't remember my fucking order.

SOPHIE: Well, it got a good review online.

Oh, yes. The high-minded people of the Internet hath spoken.

The high-minded people of the Internet speak highly of you.

Oh, yeah.

Shows you how much they know.

Hey. COLE: Hey.

JAMES: Oh... (LAUGHS) SOPHIE: Another drink?

I can't talk when you're like this.

JAMES: Oh, like what?

Oh.

Happy birthday.

I think I'm gonna go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Come on.

We're gonna have some cake.

- It's my birthday. Happy birthday, man.

JAMES: Come here, come here, come here.

(JAMES GRUNTING)

Take that. Take it. Take it. Take it.

Thanks.

Soph, you want a piece with a blueberry on it?

Mmm. Oh, this is good.

Cole?

So good, baby. It's really good.

You know I hate my birthday.

I got it. (CHUCKLES)

Now I hate it, too.

JAMES: Soph.

All right, you're gonna miss out.

Cole and I are gonna eat this entire thing.

SOPHIE: Do what you want. You always do.

Yes!

It's a good philosophy.

If everybody did what they wanted, the world would be a happier place.

You're not happy. You're drunk.

I'm just gonna go. No, no, no, stay.

Apparently this is my birthday party and we're gonna celebrate.

Sophie, come on, let's have a drink.

Sophie.

Get your ass down here!

Is this the part where I go redeem myself?

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, yeah!

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Summerfest!

Cheers.

It's gonna be a blast, man. You think you're ready?

Mmm. This could be your big launch, man.

You know, a lotta young DJs got their start at Summerfest.

Are you listening to me?

I feel like you're not listening to me.

I gotta piss.

I'm not feelin' so hot.

Jesus! You broke the seal too early.

You are so talented.

(VOMITING)

(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

(VIBRATING)

(COUGHING)

(SPITTING)

JAMES: Wow. (GROANS)

You were right.

You really shouldn't drink whisky.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

What's that? Is that your phone?

Hey! Answer your fucking phone, Cole!

Who is that?

What the fuck is your problem?

Let's see who the fuck is calling you at 1:00 a.m.

She probably wants to talk about you.

You ungrateful little shit. Did you fuck her?

What?

(GROANS) Fuck. Did you fuck her?

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

Ow!

What the fuck was that?

That's four years of MMA, emphasis on Muay Thai.

(GROANING)

This is your thing, right? I mean, you like to fight.

Come on, get up.

You don't give a shit about her, man.

What, you think because you went out to Vegas and you fucked her that you know something I don't?

She loves you, you loser.

Oh, I'm a loser? Says the guy with the drug dealer friends and no car.

You're all talk, man.

(SNIFFING)

You think you're some musical genius.

Maybe you used to be good.

Now you're just a drunk sell-out collecting the check.

You listen to me, you weaselly little cunt.

You don't know a damn thing about me, the things I walk around with.

What are you, 23 years old?

You haven't even been alive long enough to understand the meaning of the world "irreparable".

But at some point in your life, there are gonna be things that finish you.

There won't be a damn thing you can do about it.

(SIGHS)

Why did you shave it?

Good day, gentlemen.

Dude, Why'd you do that, man?

I was just getting used to fucking hanging out with Burt Reynolds.

You look like you're 10 years old now.

What happened to you?

Don't wanna talk about it.

MASON: Fucking depressing in here.

Let's get some sushi.

After we eat, I got something special to show you guys.

Whoa.

I'm gonna join him.

Sorry about Summerfest, man. I know you would've killed it.

I've been applying for jobs at a few places.

Entry-level positions.

Wait, are you recording this?

Why? You don't wanna keep working with the group?

I don't know. Do you?

Don't you feel like there's a lot more we could be doing?

Like more quality stuff? - Yeah.

Dude, this is fucking temporary.

You think we signed up for a lifetime in real estate?

And it's not temporary.

We've always been those guys.

I mean, Cole, are we ever gonna be better than this?

I thought we said Hollywood Hills, not Granada Hills.

It's a stepping stone and it gets us all out of our unsatisfactory respective situations.

Cole, come here. Check this shit out.

This right here is your studio.

Soundproof the walls.

What do you give to a man who has everything?

Just more of that man.

And this...

This is me.

Of course.

You'll all be very happy to know there's a central AC unit.

Huh?

What if somebody wants to move out?

They fucking move out.

We'll fill it up with some Craigslist.

How much? $750.

You got the biggest room, I noticed.

Yeah. Well, it's a finder's fee.

Well, you pay nine, we pay seven.

Great!

Okay. (LAUGHING)

Who is this for?

Huh? COLE: You already rented it?

MASON: Here you go. OLLIE: Are you crazy?

Oh, dude. I forgot the best part.

What are you doing?

Welcome to the dream, bitches.

What?

MASON: Get in! The water's warm.

Do a back flip, Squirrel.

Get in!

Yeah!

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)


♪ (SINGING IN UNISON) ♪ I ain't got no crystal ball if I had a million dollars well, I, I'd spend it all.

We fucking made it. We made it.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Bring it in real quick.


Oh, fuck.

MASON: Oh, man. (SNIFFS)

(EXHALES)

Can you stop smacking on that?

(GROANS) Dude, I'm fucking dying here.

I'm literally dying.

Hey, what was the name of the blonde chick that was playing, uh, chicken fights?

I think I banged her.

This house is gonna get us arrested, man.

Have you guys seen what happened in that bathroom?

It's fucking... (WHISTLES)

MASON: Yo, Squirrel.

What was the name of that fucking blonde chick that I was, like...

Yo, this guy was a fucking legend last night.

Squirrelly bird, I salute you.

Squirrel. Hey, who was that blonde bitch yesterday?

Remember?

OLLIE: Hey, wake up.

Yo, Squirrel.

Oh, fuck! Squirrel!

Yo, Cole. He's fucking gray, dude.

What? He's cold, man.

His fucking lips.

Squirrel, wake up!

Squirrel.

Mase, what's the address? Yo, he's not breathing, guys!

What's the address? He's not fucking breathing!

I don't know. You don't know the fucking...

Fuck!

COLE: Ollie, Ollie, he's not fuckin' breathing, man.

Squirrel, wake up, man. Get him up.

Get him up. Get him up.

Let's get him up.

My friend, he's passed out. He's gray.

What the fuck? What'd you give him last night?

Don't say that shit to me. What'd he take?

(RABBI SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(INAUDIBLE)


COLE: I'm never going back to that house.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Paige sends his condolences.

Wow, that's real thoughtful of him.

A condolence text.

If you think I'm going back to work for that guy, you're out of your mind.

Oh, that's great.

Let's throw away the one good job that we have.

We're ruining lives.

Do you realize that?

MASON: Hey, listen. Fuck Paige.

We're not going back to work for him, okay?

Because we don't need him. We got our own thing.

What thing?

We got Thursdays. We got the club.

You're gonna book a sitcom, man.

I know you are, and you're gonna bring celebs to the club.

And Cole is gonna be headlining.

We're gonna Kevin Systrom this shit right up.

None of that is real, dude.

It is not gonna happen.

Man, I'm not gonna be an actor.

We're not gonna be millionaires.

Stuff just doesn't... It doesn't work like that.

Look, I look around me, man.

What else am I supposed to do?

(SNIFFING)

Look, I'm good at this. You know, I can do this.

I don't wanna be a loser the rest of my life.

And you guys...

You guys can hate me if you want to, but I'm not quitting.

MASON: Good.

That makes perfect sense, because you are a fucking loser.

You're a conniving, half-blood, disloyal little fucking loser.

Oh, calm yourself.

And if it hadn't been for your pill-popping ass getting Squirrel fucked up all night, I think he'd still be sitting right the fuck there.

You trying to put that on me right now?

Oh, fuck. I'm just saying what everybody else here wants to say, but they can't do it because they don't have the fucking...

(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)

(GRUNTING)

(OLLIE YELLING)

MASON: Shut the fuck up!

(YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

Yeah?

I'm so fucking done with you.

(PANTING)

Fuck him. And fuck Paige, too. You know what?

Those motherfuckers are perfect for each other.

(WHISPERING) Fucking Squirrel.

COLE: I can't believe he's gone.

SOPHIE: (ON RECORDING) Hey, are you here?

I'm at the Ferris wheel. Come find me.

I love it here.

Hey, are you here?

I'm at the Ferris wheel. Come find me.

I love it here.

SQUIRREL: (ON RECORDING) I've been applying for.

Jobs at a few places.

Entry-level positions.

(COIN SPINNING)

Wait, are you recording this?

Oh, great.

It's my favorite person.

(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm good.

Yeah, I'm not offering you one.

That's okay. Yeah. I know it's okay.

You fucked my girlfriend and you called me washed up.

Those weren't my exact words.

You 20-somethings, man, you're all about that.

Sharing your acute observations.

I know I messed up, man.

I'm sorry.

Is that why you came over here?

Mostly.

Well, you look like shit. So do you.

Yeah, well, I actually feel terrific.

Did you know Sophie moved to the Valley?

North Hollywood. Is that a real place?

She's making $6 espressos at a vegan café where they only serve Fairtrade organic.

She's better off without me.

Summerfest is coming up this Saturday.

Man, you really messed up on that one.

COLE: I didn't deserve it, anyway.

What's wrong with you?

Squirrel died.

(SIGHS)

It might be my fault.

Oh, come on, man. Of course it's not your fault.

You don't know that.

It's like, no one thinks they're a bad person.

I don't think I'm a good one.

Man, you're not even a real person until you're 27.

(RUEFUL LAUGH)

I haven't made shit in weeks.

Don't let it be years.


Hey.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

So, like, do you like working here?

(CHUCKLING) No?

I mean, the tips are shitty and the manager's always hitting on me.

But, you know, if you want some free pie on Thursdays, I might be able to hook it up.

Oh, shit. (LAUGHING)

No promises, though, I mean...

All right.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Shit!

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(PANTING RHYTHMICALLY)

(HELICOPTER PASSING OVERHEAD)

(ELECTRICAL WIRES HUMMING)

(CHIMING)

(BIRDSONG)

(NAIL GUN FIRING)

What are you doing?

Hold on. Just keep going. Keep going.

(MUSIC BLEEDING THROUGH HEADPHONES)


(PANTING)

James. - What's up?

Can we talk about Summerfest real fast?

I think I have something.

I'm playing Summerfest tomorrow.

(SIGHS)

That's fucking awesome.

Congratulations, man.


Fellas.

How ya doin'? That's my boy Cole. Fellas.

That's my boy Cole. Cole. Cole's opening for me.

Nice to meet you.

All right.

(CROWD CHEERING)

That's a lot of beating hearts out there.

Think you can handle it?


What's up?

I'm Cole Carter.

(PLAYS SAMPLE OF WIRES HUMMING)

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(PLAYS SAMPLE OF HELICOPTER BLADES)

(SLOWS HELICOPTER SAMPLE DOWN)

(CHIMING)


(ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(PLAYS SAMPLE OF PANTING)

SOPHIE: I love it here. I love it here.

I love it here.

I love it here.

(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

(PLAYS SAMPLE OF GROWLING)


(BEAT THUMPING)


Wait, are you recording this?

COLE: What, you don't wanna keep working with the group?

SQUIRREL: I don't know. Do you?

Don't you feel like there's a lot more we could be doing?

Like, more quality stuff.

I mean, Cole, are we ever gonna be better than this?

Are we ever gonna be better than this?

Are we ever gonna be better than this?

Are we ever gonna be better than this?

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES)


Are we ever gonna be better than this?


(CROWD CHEERING)

These days you can invent an app, start a blog, sell shit online.

But if you're a DJ, you're gonna need to start with one track.

And if it's real enough and honest enough, and if it's made of everything that's made you, where you come from, who you knew, your history, then you may have a chance at connecting with everyone else.

And maybe that's your ticket to everything.


All right, everyone. One at a time. One at a time.

Don't fuck with me, I'm in a good mood.

Who's next?

I'm here to enquire about a free piece of pie that was advertised.

Oh, well, um, I believe that offer is only on Thursdays.

But, I mean...

I could make an exception, I guess.

COLE: This is the best part.

(LAUGHING)

The best part of anything really.

It's the moment before it starts.

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)


(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ENGLISH - US - SDH - BOZXPHD)