Wee Willie Winkie (1937) Script

[Train whistle blows]

Mommy, if we're in India, where are all the Indians?

They're not the kind of Indians we have in America, darling.

What kind are they, then?

These are the real Indians.

The ones back home were called Indians by mistake because when Christopher Columbus discovered America, he thought it was India.

Then is Grandfather an Indian?

No, dear, he's an Englishman, a colonel in the army.

You know that.

Then why doesn't he live in England?

Because Queen Victoria transferred him here.

Will we live right in Grandfather's house?

Why, of course.

Then we won't have to worry anymore about the butcher and the grocerman?

No, darling.

Too bad we didn't get acquainted with Grandfather sooner.


There's an elephant!

Are we going to ride the rest of the way on an elephant?

I hope not. No more questions.

[Blows whistle]

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

[Shouting]

Mrs. Williams?

Yes?

This is Sergeant MacDuff.

Why does he wear that petticoat?

Hush, dear.

Colonel Williams sent me to meet you, ma'am.

Oh, thank you.

Will you come this way, ma'am?

[Speaking native language]

There you are, missy.

Oh, my baggage!

I have a trunk, two hat boxes--

Oh! And my mandolin.

Mandolin?

You better come with me to identify them.

Can I come, too?

No, dear. You wait here.

Excuse me, sir. Please, mister, but is this where the circuses come from?

Yes, Missie Baba, very hot day.

Uh...

[Camel snorts]

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

[Whistles]

[Shouting]

[Shouting]

[Shouting]

[Speaking native language]

[Whistle blows]

Hey, mister!

You dropped this!

Priscilla!

Where's Missie Baba?

Priscilla!

[Shouting]

Priscilla!

Hey, mister. You dropped your necklace.

[Speaking native language]

Hey, wait a minute.

Our rifles, Lee-Metfords.

Where did the thieving bhatan get them from?

Khoda Khan.

Khoda Khan!

Caught him, sergeant.

Huh! Wait until the colonel hears about this.

Take him to headquarters.

Better follow me, ma'am.

But what's a talisman used for, mommy?

It's a sort of sacred charm, dear.

Hang it round your neck.

Then no harm can befall you.

Will harm befall Khoda Khan now that he hasn't got it anymore?

Oh, plenty of harm.

Don't fret your little heart.

That's a bad, bad character-- Khoda Khan, like the robbers in your fairy book.

Like Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves?

No more questions.

Are there many ladies living at the army post?

Not many ladies.

It's a difficult place to live, even for soldiers.

Mr. MacDuff, is a sergeant higher than a colonel?

Ha ha!

Not this side of paradise.

Your grandfather's the commanding officer of the whole caboodle here.

Is my grandfather nice?

Well, uh...

I can't say that he's exactly nice, but, uh, he's a grand soldier, and I have every respect for him.

The--the men call him Old Boots.

Old Boots?

Why is he called that?

Because he sleeps in boots like he used to in the old days when men had to be ready for emergencies, day or night.

Sergeant MacDuff--

Priscilla.

Mommy, I just want to ask Sergeant MacDuff one more question.

How do you keep the mosquitoes from biting your knees?


Mohammet Dihn!

Blasted parlormaid!

Dihn!

Them women is here.

Fetch the luggage.

Is that grandfather?

Mohammet Dihn, luggage!

[Speaking native language]

Come on! Luggage! Luggage, Dihn!

[Speaking native language]

Grandfather?

Bagby.

Fetch the luggage.

Here. Sit down, ma'am.

Look.

And I presume you have no recollection of riding across the parade grounds like a maniac on a buffalo?

Oh, was it a buffalo?

Bugs!

I've told you before, Brandes-- your antic behavior, your irresponsible attitude is conduct unbecoming an officer.

It sets a bad example.

This is not Mayfair or a tea party on the Thames!

You're on probation, Brandes.

All privileges revoked for 30 days.

Dismissed!

I'll, uh, I'll tell him you're here.

Hello.

Is my grandfather always mad?

Your grandfather?

Oh, not always.

Only when he's disobeyed or...

Or thinks he's disobeyed.

How do you do?

How do you do?

How do you do?

The ladies are here, sir.

Oh, splendid, uh...

Good man. Thank you.

Splendid.

I must see them, I suppose.

I must report that Khoda Khan was arrested in Raj Pore.

What? Khoda Khan himself?

Caught red-handed with our rifles.

Must have been 100 of them in Raj Pore.

Why must they arrest the biggest blackguard of the lot?

Having Khoda Khan locked up is like holding a tiger by the tail!

The whole country will be up in arms!

I think I'm going to call you Coppy.

Priscilla!

But why?

Because of your hair.

It's like a shiny new copper penny.

It's pretty awful.

I like it. Don't you, mommy?

Well, uh...

Yes, of course.

Might I ask, are you here on a visit?

No. We expect to stay.

Oh!

Did you really ride the buffalo?

Why, yes, I--I--

What was it like?

Well, riding a buffalo is like--

Didn't you ever ride a buffalo?

Well, come on!

Climb on, and I'll show you how.

She's not that--

Oh, Priscilla!

Oh.

Mrs. Williams?

Joyce, father.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I trust, uh...

I trust you had a comfortable journey.

Yes, thank you.

Now, uh...

Aargh!

Whoa! Whoa!

What the deuce is all this?

That must be Grandfather.

This is Priscilla.

Oh.

How do you do, Grandfather?

Ho--how do you do?

Hi. Hi--ha...

Are you, um...

She's most irregular, sir.

You were--

Oh, please, don't scold Coppy again.

It wasn't Coppy's fault. Really, it wasn't.

Coppy?

Who's Coppy?

Why, Priscilla has a habit of nicknaming people.

You have a nickname already, haven't you?

Priscilla!

Eh? Well, uh...

Well, people usually address me as Colonel.

That's what I was going to call you, Colonel.

Oh, you were? Well, uh...

What are you waiting for?

Nothing, sir.

Oh, let's sit down. Sit down.

Coppy...

It was kind of you to send for us.

Oh, my plain duty, madam.

My son's widow. Helpless female.

I'd have sent for you years ago if I'd known you were destitute.

I didn't want anybody to know.

The landlady always--

I did my best to work.

Very distressing.

Very distressing.

Well, you're here now.

We do appreciate it.

Mommy almost cried when she got your letter.

Dear me.

Dear me. Dear me.

Uh...Bagby.

Bagby!

Sir?

There you are. What the blazes--

Show Mrs. Williams her quarters.

Yes, sir.

I trust you'll accommodate yourself to the life we live here.

Army post, you know--

Routine, discipline, that sort of thing.

Oh, we will.

Do we have to sleep with boots on?

No, no, no.

Ha! Boots!

Mommy, I don't think grandfather likes me very well.

Of course he does, darling.

Perhaps he just doesn't understand little girls.

You see, the colonel has always been used to soldiers.

Mommy...

I want to go home.

Oh, but, darling...

This is our home.

[Reveille plays]

Oh...

Uh...

Hey!

Pull the water!

[Speaking native language]

[Bagpipes play]


[Blows horn]

Prepare the guard!

Hey, Sergeant!

Let me go! Sergeant!

I won't do it again!

Give him a bath, Sergeant!

Hey, Sergeant, no!

Sergeant!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Hello. What are you doing, bathing?

Yes, sir!

Hmm, clean little chap here.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!


[Reveille plays]


[Band plays]

Hut!

Right face!

Company, hut!

Present right!

It's awfully hot for so early in the morning, isn't it?

Have you been standing here all night?

Can't you even shake your head yes or no?

Priscilla, you mustn't annoy the sentry.

I wasn't annoying him, Mommy.

The poor man's deaf and dumb.

Oh, no, dear.

It's just that he's not allowed to talk on duty.

Come here, darling.

Here. You must wear this whenever you go outdoors.

I like it! I'll feel like a soldier.

Remember the things you've been told.

I know them by heart.

Don't eat any fresh fruit.

Don't drink any water unless it's boiled.

Stay inside the army gates.

Keep out of the sun...

And don't talk to sentries.

Good morning, Colonel.

Good morning.

Keep that on your head whenever you go out in the sun.

Good morning.

Morning.

Sunstroke...

Bad.

You're looking a bit off color...

Peaky.

Oh, I feel all right.

Um...Want more meat on your bones.

Ought to eat more.

Oh, we expect to.

Do you know how to ride?

Oh, yes, but I haven't ridden for ever so long.

Mohammet Dihn!

Mohammet Dihn!

Mohammet Dihn!

Mohammet Dihn!

Mohammet Dihn!

What are you shouting for?

Where is that parlormaid?

Mohammet Dihn!

Oh, there you are. Watch that!

Get Mrs. Williams a good horse.

She's going riding. Go with her.

Thank you, Colonel.

Well, uh, good morning.

Your helmet, sir.

What?

Oh! Ah, thank you.

Colonel, sunstroke.

Ah, yes.

Yes, yes.

I think he's going to like you, mommy...

Even if he doesn't like me.

Orders, sir, from the adjutant.

Put them on my desk.

Thank you, sir, for ordering me a new uniform.

Glad to do it, Mott.

You've got a good record, always neat military appearance.

You'll be a good soldier.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Hello.

Hello, Mr. Mott.

Hello. Who are you?

I'm Priscilla.

Wait a minute, will you?

Can't!

Orders, sir.

Thank you, Mott.

Orders, sir.

All right, Mott.

Can't you answer just one question if it is about military matters?

Well, what is it?

How can i get to be a soldier?

You?

Really, it's important!

Whoever heard of a little girl being a soldier?

Run along home and play with your dolls and don't follow me anymore.

Why, hello there!

Oh, hello, Coppy.

How's your mother?

She's a bit peaky.

A bit peaky?

Yes. She's going riding to put some meat on her bones.

Ha ha ha!

I'm going riding, too. I might meet her.

Coppy...

I'm kind of worried.

You are? About what?

I've got to be a soldier, and I don't know how to start.

Who gave you that idea?

The colonel.

He's never had little girls around.

All he understands is soldiers.

I've decided to be one.

Then maybe he'll like me.

How do I start, Coppy?

Well, let's see.

MacDuff!

Yes, sir.

Good morning, Sergeant.

Good morning, Lassie.

We've a brand-new rookie, Sergeant.

Instruct Priscilla in the manual of arms, the queen's regulations, and all matters appertaining thereto.

But, sir, you-- i mean-- why, yes, certainly. Carry on.

Company...

Left...

'Ten!

Quick...

About turn!

Quick...

March!

Ha ha ha!

Mother!

Elsie, did you ever?

He's with that American!

She didn't lose much time getting her hands on him.

He didn't lose much time, either.

I suppose she knows he's coming into the title.

He hasn't looked at me twice since we've been here.

Your father didn't look at me at first, but here you are, Elsie.

You made a very good beginning.

Yes, but whoever heard of a soldier called Priscilla?

Aye, that's the point.

You couldn't take private Priscilla very seriously, could you?

We'll have to find a new name for you.

I got it!

I've got it!

Wee Willie Winkie!

Wee Willie Winkie?

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Was he a friend of yours?

Ah, he was a lad that ran through an old scotch rhyme.

"Wee Willie Winkie ran through the town.

Wee Willie Winkie ran through the town..."

Well, he was a lad that was always getting himself into difficulties.

Hmm, sunstroke, hmm, bad.

Was he a sergeant?

He probably would have been when he grew up.

Wee Willie Winkie...

It does sound like a soldier, doesn't it?

Aye!

Then I'd be Private Winkie.

Private Winkie it is!

A full-fledged soldier of the queen.

Won't it be a grand surprise for the colonel?

Ha ha ha! It will indeed!

And beyond that sign lies all Asia, Baghdad, Samarkand, Lhasa, the Great Wall of China.

This is the gateway to it all.

For thousands of years, the great caravans passing through have been robbed by the wild Ifriti and Bhatans, and up in those hills is the stronghold of Khoda Khan.

Khoda Khan, the chief they arrested in Raj Pore?

Yes.

You see that pass?

With 100 rifles, they could hold off our entire brigade.

I read about it in school, but you make it sound thrilling and romantic.

Look, Corporal! I've got it at last!

Got what?

My uniform! The kilt is wool!

Wool from the cotton mills of Manchester!

Good lad.

Mr. Mott, won't you spend the time of day with a man?

Why--why, yes, sir.

And what you got there, laddie?

My new uniform.

You're not daft enough to wear it like that.

What's wrong with it, sir?

It's got to be sterilized.

How many times have I told you that in India everything has to be sterilized?

The food you eat, the water you drink.

But--but not uniforms, sir.

Aye, laddie, it's a new order.

Do you want to get the black mejubies?

The black mejubies?

Ah, it's a terrible disease.

Aye! Aye!

Here.

I'll sterilize it myself.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Aye.

Aye.

McTavish.

MacLeish.

McAdoo.

MacNab.

Oh, oh, thank you, gentlemen.

Thank you so much.

It's about done.

We'll get them out.

Aye.

Oh!

Aye!

Oh, it's properly sterilized now.

Ah.

Aye.

Why, it shrunk!

Aw, it shrunk.

It shrunk.

All but the buttons.

All but all but the buttons.The buttons.

Gentlemen, you did this deliberately.

What?

Aye yi!

Did you hear what he accused me of?

Aye. I did.

Of deliberately doing it.

He's a bad lot.

He's a bad lot...

Of deliberately doing it.

How does it look to you, Sergeant?

Very satisfactory.

Stand at attention, and I'll inspect you.

Keep your eyes to the front and take the smile off your face.

Aye, that's good.

I thought maybe I'd boiled it too much.

Boiled it?

Aye. Just a military requirement.

Take this.

It will give you a little more importance.

It's just elegant.

Hmm, I carved it meself.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Let's let the men take a squint at you.

Low!

Hut!

Right, left!

Quick, hut!


Military escort, halt!

Khoda Khan, sir.

Very good, Corporal.

Escort, about turn!

Quick march!

This way, if you please.

Take this for me, will you, please?

Mr. Khan!

Hmm.

Mr. Khan, you dropped this!

Mr. Khan, here's your necklace.

[Speaking native language]

May Allah bless and protect thee for the rest of thy days.

Thank you.

Private Winkie!

Come here!

Get out of there!

Aw, look what you've done.

You got your kilt dirty.

I've a good mind to--

But he was so glad to get his necklace.

It will take more than a necklace to get him out of jail.

Why is he in jail?

Because he's a black-hearted Bhatan!

He was a nice gentleman.

Gentleman, pooh!

He'd cut your head off as soon as look at you.

Hep!

Stay over here.

Wait there, lassie.

Outside, you lazy scrubs!

Outside for special drill!

What? Whose orders?

My orders!

Your orders!

Yeah, my orders!

He says his orders!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Lassie, about turn.

Donald.

That's me when I was a little baby.

Ooh! I think you were beautiful.

Private Winkie!

Quick march!

Party!

Attention!

Slope...Up, 1, 2, 3!

Present arms!

1, 2, 3!

Snap into it, will you? Snap into it!

Take that smile off your face!

Hmm.

Slope...Out!

1, 2!

Now, on the third syllable of the word turn, you smartly turn to the right, snapping your left heel against the right heel with the toes at the angle of 45 degrees approximately!

Now, smartly...

Right...

Turn!

Quick...March!

Left.

Left.

Left.

Left.

Left.

Left.

About turn! 1, 2, 3!

Left!

Left!

Left!

Left!

Left!

Left!

Left!

Party, halt!

Right turn!

Get into dress there.

Always the last man to obey the word of command.

Come up and dress here.

Order!

Hey!

Are you grinning at me?

Order!

Arms, hut!

Stand at ease!

If you persist with this silence, we shall never get anywhere.

I tell you for the last time, we are prepared to release you immediately if you guarantee there'll be no more stealing of rifles, no more raids, and no more plundering.

Speak up, man!

This is your last chance for freedom.

I ask nothing...

And I give nothing.

Take him away.

Escort, attention!

Right turn!

Quick march!

Sergeant!

Party, halt!

Sergeant, what's the meaning of this?

Drilling in the midday sun, huh?

You see, sir-- what's the matter?

Yes, sir, I--I--I--

Can't you talk, man?

Yes, sir.

You see, sir, I--I--

Come on with it!

Very good, sir.

You see, sir, I thought it--

I thought a little drill wouldn't do them any harm, sir.

The men are getting rusty.

With your permission, General.

Party...

Form fall!

Now, what's this? What's this?

Private Winkie, sir!

A new recruit.

Fear God. Honor the queen.

Shoot straight. Keep clean.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Silence!

The rascals are pulling your leg, Colonel.

A fine soldier.

Captain Bibberbeigh!

Yes, sir.

A little polishing will remove that rustiness.

Sergeant MacDuff can take that party out for three hours extra drill.

Yes, sir.

Private Winkie is excused.

Go in. Get your nap.

Sergeant MacDuff, the colonel feels that three hours extra drill would eliminate that rustiness.

Form two-deep.

Pipe Major Sneath will play you a round.

Quick mark time.

[Plays bagpipes]

Forward!


I'm sorry that--

This is a cantonment under military discipline.

You and Priscilla must keep to your quarters.

This cantonment will not be turned into a confounded nursery!

Dismissed!

I mean, that's all.

Good afternoon.


Mr. MacLeish...

I'm a very unpopular man.

Soon we'll be up to 100, then it will be all done.

Then what will we do, mommy?

Start another one, I suppose.

Memsahib, major, Mrs. MacMonachie.

Mac-Monachie?

MacMonachie.

Show them in.

We'd better put these away.

Mommy, do you want me to make myself scarce?

If you want to go play, go on.

I thought perhaps--

I was just passing by.

How are you, my dear?

Just fine, thank you.

Tell Dihn to bring us tea, and remember...

To keep away from the soldiers, keep out of the sun, keep out of Mrs. Allardyce's petunias.

I just thought of a good name for her--

Mrs. Snoopy Snoot.

Extraordinary.

Tea for memsahibs.

You always hear everything, don't you, Mohammet Dihn?

Mohammet Dihn hears very much, knows very much.

Knows there's something very sad about your friend.

My friend Coppy?

The one who's in the prison.

You mean in jail.

Why you not go see Khoda Khan?

Khoda Khan very sad, lonely, but when he sees you, his heart is glad.

Poor man.

I go now make tea for memsahibs.

You come, little girl.

Go see Khoda Khan, huh?

If you think it would make him happy.

Very much happy.

All right, I will.

You give him this.

What is it?

Mohammedan prayer.

Bring peace to his heart.

Here.

Like a brave soldier, carry this, please.

Big secret.

Just you, me.

Not let anybody know.

Oh, I won't.

I found it difficult to adapt when I came from England.

I remember-- those bugles almost drove me mad.

The soldiers--

Does it affect you?

Uh...

Yes.

But I've an idea it won't be so dull for you.

What do you mean?

Lieutenant Brandes asked me to tell you that he was going to be in Raj Pore tomorrow afternoon, and if you happen to be there just by chance, my dear...

Hello, Mr. Khan. How are you today?

Why do you come here?

I thought you might be lonesome.

You're a strange child.

Aren't you sorry now you made trouble about those rifles?

I'm sorry only because I lost the rifles and my freedom as well.

If you told the colonel you were sorry, then he'd let you out of jail.

You are sorry, aren't you?

No.

Then you'll have to stay here, I suppose, till you are.

Well, good-bye, Mr. Khan.

Good-bye.

Oh!

I almost forgot.

Here.

It's a prayer.

Mohammet Dihn said it would bring peace to your heart.

Mohammet Dihn speaks the truth.

Well, good-bye, Mr. Khan.

Private Winkie, get away from there!

I was just leaving.

This way.

Don't let me catch you here again!

Go on home!

Now...

Now, the fundamental principles of the noble art of self-defense is first of all, defense.

Now...Balance your body equal on each leg, bending your knees in the center, putting your left hand in front of your face.

Now, come on, a little spring.

A little spring there!

Now spring with me.

Hey! Hey, Donald!

Donald, demonstrate the punch.

Aye!

The punch.

The punch.

Now, Mr. McTavish, I'll give you an opportunity to clout me on the nose...

With your left hand.

Aah!

You see, very defective.

You see, the man has no footwork.

Now, with the right hand this time.

Right hand.

Again.

Uh!

You see, he left the whole of his right side exposed.

Mr. McTavish, I'm afraid you'll never make a boxer.

Mr. McTavish!

I'm talking to you!

Mister--

Excuse me.

Can't we ever play together anymore?

No, lassie.

You've got your orders, and I've got my orders.

Can't you teach me the manly art of self-defense?

I'd like to, but if old man boots was to catch us, it would be very bad, indeed.

Just straighten your left hand.

Put that up for your defense.

[Crying]

[Dog barks]

Oh, Mr. Mott!

Oh, they're just beautiful!

What are they?

Puppies, stupid.

What brand?

You mean breed.

They're pure mongrels.

Pure mongrels!

I wish I had one.

You can't. They're mine!

They're so soft and cuddly.

I'd give anything for one.

Well, what would you give?

Will you-- will you trade?

Well, that depends.

I'd give you my toys.

What have you got?

Oh, heaps! Three dolls-- only, one's got a broken leg-- a cook stove, and a tea set--

Oh, girl's things!

I'd give you one if I had six or seven dogs.

Can't I hold it for a little while?

No. You're liable to get attached to it!

Oh, good morning, sir.

Hey, Mr. Sneath, will you steal me a wee dog like a good man?

A dog, Donald?

Aye!

Sit up.

You thief!

But, Sergeant, they're mine.

Yours? You're laboring under a grave misapprehension, laddie.

They're his.

[Arf]

His?

He's the father!

You don't deny a father's right to his own bairns.

Look how happy he is.

There's no question of his paternity.

I got them from his mother.

From his mother!

Ha ha ha!

It's a father that counts.

The man has the right to his own sons.

You ought to know that.

Can't I even have one of them?

No. You've no right whatsoever, laddie.

But, please, sir.

Well, if you swear by the ghost of the Black Douglas...

And the unburied dead of Culloden...

And the whiskers of William Wallace...

And, uh...

That you'll promise never to blow that bugle in my ear again, well, uh, I'd give you the wee one.

I'll promise! I'll promise anything!

Oh, thank you, sir!

Thank you so much!

Sit up.

Come on.

[Banging gong]

[Speaking native language]

Mommy, there's that man eating swords again.

Look!

Run over and watch him. Give him these coppers.

May I, mommy?

Of course, dear.

Thanks.

Ha ha ha!

[Speaking native language]

That's the most wonderfulest thing I've ever seen.

There's that child.

No. I don't care for any of these.

Thank you.

Elsie.

Just as I thought.

Disgusting!

If you had a thimbleful of brains, you'd have landed him yourself.

Mama, I did everything you told me to.

Oh, you're anemic.

Coppy, I can't openly defy him.

Why not? You're not one of his soldiers forbidden to do this and that.

You have a right to see whom you please when you please--

I'm obligated to him for sending for me, having us here.

For making your life miserable.

He doesn't mean to.

He does! He revels in it, the old porcupine!

You're coming to that dance with me, no matter what happens.

Coppy, I'd love to, but I don't see how I'm going to manage it.

[Dog barks]

[Arf]

Archie!

Archie!

No, Elsie, you are definitely anemic.

But, mother--

Your father's people were anemic.

Oh! Go away, you nasty little dog!

Go!

[Arf arf]

Archie, you mustn't!

You mustn't!

Shoo! Shoo!

Go away! Go away!

Stop hitting Archie!

I'll teach him to leave things alone!

Oh! He bit me!

He bit me!

[Arf]

[Grrr grrr]

Mama!

Well, you hit him first!

Nothing of the kind!

You did! I saw you!

The colonel shall hear about this.

Oh!

Oh!

I've been attacked!

You understand!

Attacked by a mad dog!

Yes.

The creature charged at me!

Yes.

Well, do you understand?

Yes.

Oh, Elsie, come along.

Yes.

Let go! I won't let you!

Colonel's orders, lassie.

I don't care!

You let go of Archie!

What's all this?

Your letter ordering Sergeant MacDuff to destroy the dogs--

I changed it.

You did what?

Sergeant MacDuff! What's the meaning of this?

It wasn't his fault.

He told me you'd bite my head off.

I don't care!

It was the meanest thing I ever heard of, ordering him to destroy all those puppies.

There's a mad dog around!

I know, sir!

Archie was awful mad at Mrs. Allardyce.

But if she'd smacked you with her parasol, you'd have bitten her, too.

What? That ridiculous puppy? Ho ho ho!

Bagby, look at it.

Ha ha! From what I heard, she said it was a huge beast, raving mad, foaming at the mouth.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Is that what old Snoopy Snoot said?

What? Snoopy Snurs--

Snoopy Snoot! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, Grandfather, you have the wonderfulest laugh.

Have I?

Like an old horse with the whooping cough.

What?

An old horse with the whooping cough!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha!Ha ha!

Oh!

Ha ha!

[Music playing]

[Knock on door]

Good evening, Private Bagby.

Private Winkie.

Good evening, grandfather.

Come to say good night?

Yes, grandfather.

[Music playing]

Want me to tell you a story, I suppose?

No. I'd rather ask you a few questions.

Don't you ever get tired of asking questions?

Bagby, shut that noise out.

Yes, sir.

I'm very tired sometimes, but that's the only way i can find out things.

Fire ahead.

You know those stories you've been telling me...

About when you held off that detachment for a whole week single-handed?

Well, practically single-handed, yes.

The time you marched Ghurkas across the desert clean through a blasted simoom?

I did not say blasted!

Well...dashed.

Dashed. All right.

The time you were almost captured, and laid 16 Waziris low with the butt of your rifle?

That got me my first ribbon.

Yes. Always fighting and marching and working.

Well, that's been my life.

What I want to ask is don't you ever have a good time?

Fun, I mean.

No time for fun.

But you have time now, haven't you?

You're not doing anything but smoking your pipe.

What do you want me to do, stand on my head?

Someday, maybe.

But, Grandfather...

Can't you take mommy to the dance tonight?

Oh, so that's it.

Oh, please.

Listen, doesn't that music make your feet just itch to dance?

My dancing days are over.

But mommy's aren't.

Couldn't you take her, and just sit around like a...

A cauliflower?

Like a what? A--a--

Ho ho ho ho!

A wallflower, you mean!

Ha ha! Not me!

Oh, please.

Make it a surprise.

I won't tell her a word.

Oh, we'll see about it.

Oh, Grandfather!

Now you pop off to bed.

You'd wheedle the whiskers off a thistle.

Bagby!

Private Bagby!

Baaagby!

Yes, sir.

Get my Wellingtons.

Your what, sir?

My Wellingtons, you idiot!

Your Wellingtons?

Yes! My dress boots.

I'm going to dance.

Very well, sir.

But you know you didn't take your nap this afternoon.

Do you dare?

Coppy, you're on duty, and you're not dressed.

Let's listen to the music.

Well...

Joyce!

[Knock knock]

Joyce...


This is so much nicer than being in that stuffy pavilion.

It's so fragrant out here with the scent of the blossoms.

I shall think of it often when I'm back in England.

England?

Yes. I'm resigning my commission.

You are? Oh, Coppy!

No. I just wanted to see the expression in your eyes.

Coppy, you're dreadful.

You do care, don't you?

No.

You idiot.

Why, good evening, sir.

Good evening, Blake.

Ah, Mrs. MacMonachie.

Have you brought your daughter-in-law?

Yes--no, uh... Is she here?

I haven't seen her.

I'll look for her.


Carry on. Carry on.


[Shouting]

[Bugle sounding alarm]

[Gunshots]

Raiders attacking the arsenal!

Your posts!

It's the arsenal!


On the double, boys!


[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

[Shouting]

[Blowing horn]

Give me your rifle! Quick!

[Shouting]

Two casualties on our side, sir.

Guns and ammunition intact. The fire's under control.

Good. They thought they'd catch us napping.

Ha ha!

Prisoner, sir.

I think he's their chief.

That's good.

But Khoda Khan escaped, sir.

Escaped?

Aye.

So that was their game.

They've tricked us.

Tell him we'll give him the lash if he won't speak up.

[Speaking native language]

No speak, Colonel.

Take him out.

Prisoner and escort, right hand...

March!

Captain Stuart, one moment.

Lieutenant Brandes.

Captain Stuart, telegraph Raj Pore.

Have them relay the news to the other posts that Khoda Khan has escaped.

Sir.

Brandes...

You're under arrest.

I, sir? For what?

For deserting your post, sir.

Coppy.

Joyce.

What luck?

They've scattered like geese, sir.

You men had better get some sleep.

Good night, sir.

Good night.

Colonel.

Well?

Why did you have Coppy put under arrest?

You know perfectly well why.

Yes, perfectly.

You've had it in for him all along.

He deserted his post.

The raid would have occurred just the same.

You're using that as a technicality, keeping us ap--

I'm not interested now in the affairs of your heart.

But I cannot have you interfering with the discipline and obedience I demand from my men.

You've no heart.

All you've got inside of you is a book of army regulations!

I've had enough of it!

I'm sorry i ever came here.

You won't have to put up with us any longer.

Not a single day longer!

[Crying]

Why are you crying, mommy?

Come back to bed.

Why are you making my mommy cry?

Priscilla.

Mommy was always happy till we came here, no matter what happened.

Be silent, dear.

You've no one to stick up for you here except me.

Making her so miserable!

Just when I was beginning to think you were nice and kind and liked mommy and me.

Hmm.

Come here, dear.

You don't understand...

Either of you.

Joyce, you've never seen a whole regiment wiped out because of a blunder or laxity in discipline.

You've never seen death all around you, but I have.

Priscilla, up in those hills, there are thousands of savages, all waiting for the chance to sweep down the pass and ravage India.

Now...

It's England's duty...

It's my duty, dear, to see that they don't.

As long as I live, that duty's going to be done.

The only women we want here are those who can understand that and respect it.

Perhaps you're right.

It might be better if you did go home.

Of course, I'll continue to provide for you.

I, uh...

I wish we could--

we can't get through to Raj Pore, sir.

The wires are cut.

What's that?

The wires are cut! We can't get through to Raj Pore!

Well, that means we're in for it.


Are we really going back to America, mommy?

Yes, dear.

And leave Coppy and Sergeant MacDuff and Mr. Mott and everybody?

Yes. We're going back home.

That's where we belong.

The patrol has just left for the hills.

Who's in command?

Lieutenant Brandes.

I thought he was under restrictions.

You ordered all men released for service.

I can't imagine the patrol in less competent hands.

Well, what's this? What's this?

We're leaving.

We were waiting to say good-bye.

You can't go now. The roads aren't safe.

You'll have to wait. Maybe for weeks.

We'll see Coppy again and Sergeant MacDuff?

Colonel, when is his trial going to be?

There won't be any trial.

He's gone on a dangerous mission.

[Bugle blowing]

The patrol has been ambushed, sir.

Ambushed?

We're in for it now.

Did they hit you badly, sir?

No.

Are you badly hurt, Donald?

Where did they hit you, man?

Oh, it's too bad.

Those dirty dogs.

Hello, Pipe Major--

Not now, lassie.

Keep away from these here rifles.

Corporal.

Where are the--

Don't bother him.

Hello!

It's a shiv that a man can shave himself with.

Mr. Mott!

Hello.

Hello, Mr. Mott.

What are they all getting ready to shoot?

Khoda Khan, of course. Who do you think?

Khoda Khan? Why?

Just because he ran away?

Why is everybody mad at Khoda Khan?

Ha! That's a good one!

"Why is everybody mad at Khoda Khan?"

Why are all those horses getting new shoes?

So they can run fast enough to catch Khoda Khan?

Missie Winkie, I am busy.

Stand back, please.

I know somebody who'll tell me.


Psst!

Can you come here?

I came to call on Sergeant MacDuff.

I'm afeard that you can't see him just now.

Is he asleep?

Aye.

Will you give him these as soon as he wakes up?

Aye.

Oh, those are beautiful.

I picked them in Mrs. Allardyce's garden.

She wasn't home.

No hope?

Grandfather, i do hope Sergeant MacDuff's feeling better.

Yes, my dear. Much better.

I'm glad. I got to talk to him.

A secret.

All right, my dear.

You can go in.

But don't stay too long.

I won't. Thank you.

I'm glad she came.

Yes. He's been asking for her.

I'll take them.

Private Winkie reporting, Sergeant.

Before we commence drill...

You'll please repeat...

The recruiter's motto.

"Fear God, honor the queen, shoot straight, and keep clean."

Very good, lassie.

Lassie...

Will you...

Sing me...

The song once more?

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And never brought to mind ♪

♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And days auld lang syne

♪ For auld lang syne, my dear ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

♪ We'll take a cup o' kindness yet ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

♪ So here's a hand, my trusty friend ♪

♪ And gie us a hand of thine ♪

♪ We'll meet again some other... ♪

♪ For the days of auld lang syne ♪♪

Shh!

He's asleep.

Don't you cry.

He isn't going to transfer you.

[Plays bagpipes]

[Bagpipes playing]


Sergeant MacDuff.

They're taking you away from me.

I want you to come back and play with me some more.


Orderly.

Orderly!

It's only me.

What are you doing out of bed at this time of night?

I couldn't go to sleep.

I've been awfully worried about something.

I had to come and ask you about it.

Oh. Well, what is it?

Why did Sergeant MacDuff have to...

Have to...

I liked him...

I liked him so much.

Sergeant MacDuff died as a brave soldier should-- for his queen.

But the queen didn't want him to die, did she?

Why, no. Of course not.

Then why--

You're only a little child. You can't understand.

No. I guess I don't.

That's why I came to you.

Why is everybody so mad at Khoda Khan?

Why do they all want to shoot him?

We're not mad.

England wants to be friends with all her people.

But if we don't shoot him, he will shoot us.

Let me try and explain to you.

It's our job to keep the big pass open so that trade can flow through it and bring peace and prosperity to everybody, even to Khoda Khan.

Couldn't you explain that to him?

Wouldn't be much use.

For thousands of years, these Bhatans have lived by plundering.

They don't seem to realize they'd live much better if they planted crops and traded and became civilized.

I don't want anybody more to get killed.

Neither do I, my child.

But don't worry your little head anymore tonight.

I wish something could be done.

You run along to bed.

Good night, Grandfather.

Good night.

[Door opens]

Ooh! You frightened me!

What are you doing here?

I'm going to see Khoda Khan.

Please help me get my pony, and be very quiet.

Khoda Khan live far away.

I take you to him.

Thank you. I'm sure I'd have had a lot of trouble finding his house.

Ha ha! Come!

Priscilla!

Father!

Priscilla, she's gone!

Gone?

Her bed hasn't been slept in.

Bagby, Bagby, see if the child is in the stable.

The sentries, thinking Dihn was the regular driver, allowed the cart to leave.

Then Mohammet Dihn took her away.

Her footprints were beside the tracks of the cart.

The whole thing is clear.

Mohammet Dihn's the spy.

He's taking her there.

To Khoda Khan?

Sound the assembly!


Well...

Mr. Khan certainly does have a lot of steps in his house.

Only 400, 500 more. Come on!

[Speaking native language]

[Speaking native language]

Ha ha ha ha!

Mohammet Dihn!

It's a lovely morning, isn't it?

Ha ha!Ha ha!

Khoda Khan! Khoda Khan!

Khoda Khan.

Speak, Mohammet Dihn.

I bring you great treasure.

Rifles?

No! Colonel Sahib's little granddaughter.

You brought her here?

Yes!

Outside.

Then they will come...

Colonel, officers, everybody...

Through the pass, up the steps...

The whole regiment wiped out.

Allah be praised.

Mohammet Dihn, where are you?

Mohammet Dihn!

How do you do, Mr. Khan?

Welcome, little one.

How do you do, Mr. Khan?

Ha ha!Ha ha!

They will not harm you.

I didn't know it was so far.

It's good I didn't come by myself like I was going to.

You were coming here by yourself?

Yes. I decided i had to see you right away to talk to you.

If you don't mind, may I sit down?

I'm awful tired and awful hungry, too.

[Speaking native language]

Now eat, and we will talk.

It's about the war.

I want to ask you a question.

Ask.

You don't want your friends to be killed, do you?

No.

Then don't you think it's silly to be mad and fighting when you don't have to?

Why don't you ask your grandfather that question?

I did. He said he didn't want the war, but you wanted it.

[Speaking native language]

Then you would stop the war if I could make you understand?

What is there to understand?

My grandfather said the queen wants to protect all her people and make them happy and rich.

[Speaking native language]

It's all true!

All you have to do is sit and talk it over with my grandfather.

[Speaking native language]

Please don't laugh at me, Mr. Khan.

Allah himself would laugh, my child.

Then you want to fight!

I thought you were good.

You had such nice eyes.

And I gave you back your necklace.

Please, Mr. Khan. Don't have any war.

Please don't!

Between your people and mine, little one, there can be only war.

Then you want war! You want to fight!

You want to kill people...

Like you did my friend, poor Sergeant MacDuff.

Oh!

I hate you! I hate you!

I think you're all very, very mean!

Ha ha!Ha ha!

[Speaking native language]

[Gunshot]

[Shouting]

[Speaking native language]

"We will attack immediately unless the child is released."

[Shouting]

Well, Mr. Dihn.


Forward.

"Come thou.

"Long has Khoda Khan waited

"to meet the British in battle on these steps."

Shall we attack, sir?

Impossible. We shouldn't have a chance.

They'd wipe us all out.

What are you going to do?

If I don't come back with Winkie, you'll have to fight your way through.

Stuart, you will attack the left flank.

Brandes, you know what you have to do.

Stand firm!


Grandfather!

Grandfather!

Grandfather!

Grandfather!

Oh, Grandfather.


Here's one for MacDuff.

[Gunshot]

Please don't let them shoot my grandfather.

You will not be harmed.

Khoda Khan, I owe you a debt of gratitude.

You owe a debt of gratitude to her, your granddaughter.

Incredible.

Most extraordinary.

[Muezzin chants]

Now we shall talk, Colonel Williams.

But quietly.

Battalion!

Attention!

Parade will retire in fours from the right!

Battalions, march out!

Private Winkie?

Yes, Private Mott?

I'm forced to admit that you make a very good soldier.

You covered yourself with glory and distinction on the battlefield.

Thank you, Private Mott.

Sergeant MacDuff would have been very proud of you.

Thank you, Private Mott.

That means more to me than all the other things put together.

Thank you.

[Bagpipes playing]

Battalions, march!