What's Cooking? (2000) Script

[STAR-SPANGLED BANNER PLAYS]


[OVERLAPPING CHATTER IN MANY LANGUAGES]


[WHISPERING] Class, ready?

Joey, hold the turkey real high when you come out.

Everybody, remember, smile. Smile. Good.


Woman Reporter: GOVERNOR RHODES!

GOVERNOR RHODES, PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE PUNISHING THE UNDERPRIVILEGED.

HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT?

GOVERNOR, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY IN YOUR DEFENSE?

WELCOME TO OUR THANKSGIVING FEAST.

WE COME IN PEACE.

WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU OUR BOUNTY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS.

PLEASE JOIN US FOR OUR FEAST.

Governor: I WAS VOTED IN BY THE PEOPLE OF THIS STATE WHO ARE TIRED OF PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT.

I BELIEVE ALL CALIFORNIANS SHOULD BE TREATED EQUALLY.

THANK YOU. I'M GONNA GET BACK TO MY OFFICE.

OH, MY GOD. KEEP ROLLING! KEEP ROLLING!

SHIT!

SHIT!

LET'S GO. COME ON! GET IN!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

I'LL FIND 'EM.

Governor: I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GOT THROUGH.

Reporter: SOMEBODY GIVE ME A MIKE.

OPEN UP THE TRUNK, WOULD YOU, PLEASE?

Reporter: GOVERNOR! GOVERNOR RHODES!

[REPORTERS SHOUTING]

AND WE PRAY FOR WHO?

FUTURE PROGRESS, HARMONY, AND SO THAT WE CAN ALL GET ALONG. AMEN.

[APPLAUSE]


Man: OH, YOU SORRY?

YOU SCARED, NOW, AIN'T YOU?

YOU WANNA RUN LIKE A PUNK?

GO ON, THEN, BITCH.

BEE-ATCH.

RUN.

THANKS.

HYAH!

Man: GARY! I NEED YOU OUT HERE!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING RING]

Woman: I'LL GET IT, DAD.

[RING RING]

HELLO, VIDEO EXCHANGE.

Man: YO, JENNY, WHAT'S UP?

WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED BACK, JIMMY?

MOM'S REALLY PISSED OFF.

WHAT NOW?

Jenny: WELL, YOUR STUPID BROTHER GOT SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL.

HE STOLE A TEST.

LET ME TALK TO MOM.

NO, SHE'S NOT HERE.

WELL, CAN YOU TELL HER TO CALL ME?

LOOK, I'M ONLY GONNA BE IN THE DORM FOR ANOTHER HALF HOUR, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU BETTER WAIT FOR HER.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

BYE, JENNY.

SHIT.

WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ENOUGH CHAIRS.

IT'S FINE.

WITH YOUR SISTER AND YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW, WE'RE ONLY 9. WE'LL MANAGE.

HERBIE, I WANT YOU NOT TO WORRY.

I'M GONNA TALK TO RACHEL.

I DON'T--I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION HER.

HOW MUCH-- HOW MUCH ARE THESE?

4.99 AT YOUR CHECKSTAND.

SPEND OVER $100 AND GET A FREE TURKEY.

COME ON, HERB, LET'S GO.

SPEND OVER $100, YOU GET A FREE TURKEY.

GOT TO FIND THIS POLENTA FOR SARAH.

Girl: MOMMY, I WANT THIS ONE.

LET'S GET THIS BIG FAT ONE.

OH, NO, HONEY.

I DON'T WANT A BIG FATTY BUTT TURKEY.

COME ON. LET'S PICK AN ORGANIC ONE.

GET DOWN. MOVE.

23 POUNDS.

DO YOU THINK IT'S GONNA BE BIG ENOUGH?

OH, IT'S BIG ENOUGH.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

WHAT ELSE?

OH, BOBO'S GOT THE HICCUPS.

WHAT ELSE?

POBRE CHICA.

LET'S SEE. WE NEED CEREAL--

OH!

DAD.

¡HOLA!

¡HOLA! ¿CÓMO ESTÁ?

HOLA, LINDA.

WOW. SHE'S GOTTEN SO BIG.

WOW, QUE LINDA.

HOW YOU DOING?

GOOD. GOOD.

YOU ALONE?

YEAH, UM...

GETTING A FEW THINGS FOR TURKEY DAY, YOU KNOW?

WHERE ARE YOU, UM, GOING TOMORROW?

LIKE I SAID, I'M ALONE NOW. SO...

I--I GUESS YOU COULD COME OVER TO OUR HOUSE.

NAH, I DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY YOUR MOM WOULD BE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

IT'LL BE FINE.

I KNOW THAT SHE WOULD WANT YOU TO COME, RIGHT?

YOU SURE? I MEAN, MAYBE.

YEAH.

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE GOTTA GET THE REST OF THE STUFF, SO...

ALL RIGHT. I'LL...

OK, ALL RIGHT.

UH...I-I'LL SEE YOU GUYS.

BYE, DAD. OK, BYE-BYE.

YOU'RE IN DEEP SHIT.

IT'S FINE. IT'S THANKSGIVING.

NO. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED HER.

[LAUGHTER AND KISSES]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[LAUGHS]

HELLO.

Gina: HI, MOM.

OH, GINA, HI. HOW ARE YOU, SWEETIE?

I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU?

I-I'M GOOD. I'M OK.

EVERYTHING'S OK HERE.

YEAH, LISTEN. DON'T DO ALL THE WORK TONIGHT

'CAUSE I WANT TO BE THERE WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT.

OK, I PROMISE.

AND TELL ANTHONY TO GET OFF HIS FLABBY BUTT AND HELP YOU OUT.

OK, I WILL. HE... EVERYTHING, HE'LL BE GOOD. HE'S FINE. HE'S TRYING VERY HARD.

LISTEN, I'M VERY GLAD, I'M VERY GLAD YOU'RE BRINGING YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU.

YOU'RE GOING TO REALLY LIKE HIM, MOM.

YEAH. ONE MORE THING.

UM...THERE'S A LOT OF TRAFFIC TOMORROW, SO DRIVE SAFELY, OK?

WELL, LISTEN. THE CHANGE IS RUNNING OUT, SO I'M GONNA GET GOING.

AND DON'T WORK TOO HARD.

BYE.

OK. LOVE YOU.

SHIT.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I WANT MY WALKMAN BACK.

HELLO.

JIMMY, WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?

HI, MOM. I'M SORRY.

I'VE BEEN REAL BUSY WITH SCHOOL.

WHEN ARE YOU COMING?

YOUR BROTHER'S IN TROUBLE.

I KNOW. JENNY TOLD ME.

LOOK, MOM, I JUST FOUND OUT MY SCHEDULE FOR MID-TERMS.

I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO COME HOME.

THE FAMILY WILL UNDERSTAND.

STUDY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, HUH?

MOM, I'D BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS. I GOTTA...

I'M GOING TO BE LATE.

JUST SAY "HI" TO EVERYONE, OK?

OK. DON'T FORGET TO EAT, HUH?

DON'T FORGET TO TAKE A BREAK, OK?

OK, BYE. BYE, MOM.

JENNY, LET'S GO SHOPPING.

SORRY, MOM. I'VE GOT TO GO TO THE LIBRARY.

DUC...

Rachel: ALL RIGHT, THEN. HERE'S YOUR BAG.

Carla: YOU'RE ALL SET.

Woman: WELL, THANK YOU FOR LOOKING AFTER ME.

OK. YOU'RE WELCOME.

NOW, YOU SISTERS HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY.

THANK YOU. BYE, NOW.

BYE. OH...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU.

TAKE CARE. THANK YOU. BYE!

LA, LA, LA... SO SHOULD WE GET A CAB?

NO, LET'S TAKE THE SHUTTLE.

A CAB WILL BE FASTER.

I'M NOT EXACTLY IN A HURRY...SIS.

[LAUGHS]

I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME. COME ON, SWEETIE.

WE GOTTA GO UPSTAIRS.

WE ARE SO LATE.

OH, GOD! THERE'S YOUR GRANDMAMA.

HI, GRANDMA!

COME OVER HERE, GIRL, AND GIVE YOUR GRANDMAMA SOME SUGAR.

YOU'VE GOTTEN SO BIG!

HI, GRACE.

YOU'RE SO SKINNY. AIN'T YOU BEEN EATING?

I EAT.

IS RONNIE IN THE CAR?

WELL, NO. HE'S SO SORRY, BUT HE GOT CAUGHT UP AT WORK.

OH...AND MICHAEL?

MICHAEL IS SO BUSY AT COLLEGE, HE PROBABLY WON'T BE ABLE TO COME THIS WEEKEND.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COME THIS WEEKEND?

IT'S THANKSGIVING!

WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN HERE? GOODNESS!

WELL, I WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD ENOUGH CLOTHES.

Tony: WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS, MOM. COME CHECK THIS OUT!

Sofia: MY FEET ARE KILLING ME.

Tony: SORRY.

HEY, GORDITO.

23 POUNDS. I'M TALKING ABOUT SOME FAT SANDWICHES FOR ME.

HEY, GORDO, COME HERE.

ARE YOU SURE ONE WILL BE BIG ENOUGH?

YEAH, DEFINITELY.

I SUPPOSE SO WITHOUT YOUR FATHER HERE.

ACTUALLY, WITHOUT YOUR FATHER HERE, WE'LL PROBABLY HAVE LEFTOVERS FOR THE FIRST TIME.


HEY, JOEY!

HI, MRS. AVILA!

DAD, THIS IS MY TEACHER.

HI.

HELLO.

OH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

YOUR SIGNAL'S STILL ON.

HUH?

[LOUDLY] YOUR SIGNAL'S ON!

I KNOW.

AND WHY AM I NOT GOING TO GET TO SEE MICHAEL?

WELL, MAYBE WE'LL COME OUT OVER CHRISTMAS.

YEAH! CAN WE, MOMMY? CAN WE GO SEE GRANDMA IN CHICAGO?

IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME RONALD SAID Y'ALL WAS COMIN', I'D BE AS RICH AS OPRAH.

AH...

HI. HI.

HI, MOM.

COME HERE. OH, LOOK AT YOU!

LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HI, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

HI.

WE COULD HAVE PICKED YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT.

HI, REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU.

SAY HELLO TO MARTY.

HI, MARTY.

SO MICHAEL COULDN'T COME FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE TOMORROW?

YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?

OH, SURE.

YOUR BROTHER GOT ME A BRAND-NEW CAPPUCCINO MAKER, AND IT MAKES, IT MAKES THE PUFFY...THE FOAM IS REALLY GREAT. THE MILK FOAM'S REALLY GREAT.

DO YOU WANT SOME COOKIES?

HOW ABOUT A MALLOMAR?

Herb: IT'S RACHEL'S ROOM.

ALL RIGHT.

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

IT WOULD BE SO NICE TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.

HI. HEY.

I AM SO TIRED.

JENNY.

COME IN HERE.

Jenny: WHAT?

WHAT'S WRONG?

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

STUDYING.

[LAUGHS]

WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?

THEY GAVE THEM OUT AT SCHOOL.

AT SCHOOL?

WHY DO SCHOOLS GIVE MY DAUGHTER THIS?

THE NURSES GIVE THEM TO EVERYBODY.

I DON'T HAVE ANY USE FOR THEM.

LOOK AT YOURSELF.

ALL RIGHT, JENNY, GO TO YOUR ROOM.

NO SENSE OF MODESTY.

WELL, LOOK, ASK THE SCHOOL IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!

GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!

I SWEAR, YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME.

DID I REALLY RAISE THIS?

FINE.

IS IT A DRUG?

NO! NO! NO!

LISTEN, LISTEN TO ME.

LISTEN TO ME, AND REALLY HEAR ME THIS TIME.

HE LEFT.

AND AS HARD AS IT IS FOR YOU, IT'S BETTER THIS WAY.

I LIKE IT LIKE THIS.

WELL, IT'S TOO LATE, BECAUSE I'VE ASKED HIM NOW.

NO. NO.

YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO UN-ASK HIM.

UN-ASK HIM. THAT'S IT!

HOW--

DON'T!

DID YOU ENJOY IT, CARLA?

OH, IT WAS WONDERFUL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

DO YOU COOK MUCH?

YOU KNOW, I...I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO COOK, AND BESIDES, RACHEL NEVER LETS ME IN THE KITCHEN.

OH, NOW ART'S WIFE, SARAH...

SHE'S A REALLY GREAT COOK.

BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE, WITH THE TWINS AND EVERYTHING, SHE DOESN'T GET TO COOK MUCH.

OH, THEY MUST BE GETTING SO BIG.

AW, THEY'RE GREAT. THEY'RE GREAT.

HANNAH, SHE EATS 2 MASHED BANANAS AT A TIME.

AND JESSIE, I SWEAR TO GOD, YESTERDAY SHE SAID, "I LOVE YOU, GRANDPA.

"I LOVE YOU." SHE DOESN'T SAY "GRANDPA,"

SHE SAYS "BRANDPA." "I LOVE YOU, BRANDPA."

SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO TALK.

BUT HE BUYS THEM TOYS WHEREVER WE GO.

OH.

I MEAN, ART'S AFRAID HE'S GOING TO SPOIL THEM.

IT'S NICE.

IT'S NICE THE WAY YOU FUSS OVER THEM.

THEY COME, EVERY TUESDAY THEY COME, AND BY THE TIME THEY LEAVE, I'M COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED.

I'M ON MY BACK.

YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FATHER IN THE GARDEN WITH THEM.

OH, HE'S 20 YEARS YOUNGER.

RACHEL, YOU SHOULD SPEND SOME MORE TIME WITH THE TWINS.

YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THEM GROWING UP.

AW, IT'S THE BEST TIME, IT'S THE BEST TIME.

HERE, LET ME TAKE THAT.

WE'LL GO IN THE LIVING ROOM.

OH, BY THE WAY, SARAH GAVE ME A RECIPE FROM HER BROTHER JERRY.

YEAH, MARTY, BOY. IT'S MY MARTY!

YOU KNOW, THE TALL VEGETARIAN ONE.

I'M MAKING ROAST POLENTA.

YOU WANT SOME CAKE, GIRLS?

COFFEE, HERB?

I'LL HAVE A COFFEE.

OH, MY GOD. THAT DOG IS GOING TO GET SO FAT.

IS THAT MY BABY BOY?

IS THAT MY MAMA?

OH, HONEY! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW YOU DOING?

GREAT.

OH! OH!

I COME ALL THIS WAY, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN PICK UP YOUR OWN MAMA AT THE AIRPORT.

I'M SORRY, MAMA.

I'VE JUST BEEN SWAMPED WITH WORK.

WELL, I SEE YOU LIVING ALL RIGHT.

YOU GOT YOUR DADDY'S BELLY ON YOU.

OH, BOY. I GOT NO TIME TO WORK IT OFF.

UM, LISTEN. IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT WITH AUDREY?

SHE'S BEEN PUTTING ALL THOSE LABELS ON ALL THOSE BOWLS FOR TOMORROW.

NOW, I MAY BE WRONG, BUT SOMETHING JUST DON'T SEEM QUITE RIGHT, SON.

EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT, MAMA.

WE'VE JUST BEEN WORKING HARD.

WE NEED A BREAK.

AND WHY ISN'T MICHAEL COMING?

NOW, HIS GRANDMA AIN'T GONNA BE AROUND TOO MUCH LONGER.

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TRIPS TO L.A.

I GOT IN ME.

DON'T BE CRAZY, MAMA.

YOU'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.

YOU SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE TIRED.

GO AHEAD AND GET SOME REST.

THEN GOOD NIGHT, RONALD.

GOOD NIGHT, MAMA.


I CAN'T BELIEVE WE STILL HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY TIME WE COME.

I LIKE IT. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M DOING SOMETHING NAUGHTY.

OH, GOD.

HEY, HONEY-PIE...

OH, MY GOD.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHAT THIS "DISCO SUCKS"

T-SHIRT MEANS?

OH, MY GOSH, DO I LOOK AWFUL?

NO, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, BUT WHO'S THE SLUT?

THAT'S AMY.

I WAS 12.

SHE WAS A LITTLE WHORE.

WE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.

OH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, HERB.

[SNIFFLE]

MAYBE IT WAS THAT KIBBUTZ WE SENT HER TO.

WITH ALL THE GIRLS...

IS ANYTHING WRONG, HONEY?

OH, SWEETIE.

THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST, YOU KNOW?

MAYBE THEY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

Both: YEAH, THEY DO.

THEY THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.

NOW, HONEY, WHAT IF THEY SEPARATE?

I THINK THE HOUSE IS IN CARLA'S NAME.

WHY DOESN'T JIMMY WANT TO COME HOME ANYMORE?


FOR WHAT?

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY CHILDREN IN THIS COUNTRY?

JIMMY DOESN'T WANT TO COME HOME.

GARY GETS THROWN OUT OF SCHOOL.

MY DAUGHTER IS DISRESPECTFUL.

AND JOEY WILL GROW UP JUST THE SAME.


WHY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE THE TURKEY TASTE LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE WE EAT?

WHY DO YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO TASTE LIKE McDONALD'S?

GET THE DOOR, JENNY. GET THE OVEN DOOR.

OK, OK.

WHOA.

OY. TURKEY, TURKEY, TURKEY.

GET THAT DOG AWAY FROM HERE.

GO, GO, GO.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

TAKE THE VEGETABLES AND YOU PUT THEM RIGHT INTO ROAST.

MM-HMM.

AND YOU USE YOUR HANDS LIKE THAT?

USE YOUR HANDS. GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY.

WHY NOT? THAT'S HALF THE FUN OF IT.

BECAUSE THIS--

MY NAILS.

THIS MAKES THE GRAVY INCREDIBLE.

TONY? COME HERE AND HELP ME GET THIS TURKEY IN THE OVEN BEFORE ABUELA GETS HERE.

GOOD MORNING, GRACE.

GOOD MORNING.

DID YOU SLEEP OK?

OH! OH, YES, I SLEPT FINE.

WELL, THAT'S IT. IT'S READY TO GO IN.

YOU SURE THAT'S BIG ENOUGH?

MM-HMM.

WHEN THE KIDS WERE GROWING UP, WE USED TO GET 3 TURKEYS.

'CAUSE THEY'D ALL BE FIGHTING OVER THE WHITE MEAT.

HOW DID YOU EVER MANAGE?

THANKSGIVING IS THE EASIEST MEAL TO MAKE.

JUST TAKE THAT TURKEY, THROW IT IN THE OVEN, AND THE REST WILL COOK ITSELF.

EXCUSE ME.

WHERE'S RONNIE?

HE'S WHERE HE ALWAYS IS.

HE'S AT WORK.

THAT'S TERRIBLE! IT'S THANKSGIVING!

THE GOVERNOR HAD A PHOTO OP AT THE HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN, PASSING OUT TURKEY DINNERS TO THE HOMELESS.

HE'S AT CHURCH?

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT THEN.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

GOT ANY WHIPPED CREAM FOR MY COFFEE?

TV Commentator: RIGHT BEHIND HIM, IT'S GARFIELD!

YEAH.

OH, GARY! WHAT A PIG!

THIS IS SO DISGUSTING.

LET'S GET THIS STUFF.

EWW!

[GRANDMOTHER SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

IT'S A CAT.


Duc: OH, JENNY. CAN YOU, UH...

OPEN UP THE STORE?

I'LL BE ALONG IN A LITTLE WHILE.

IT WON'T BE BUSY.

TV Commentator: OH! OH!

HERE WE HAVE OUR BIG CATERPILLAR COMING UP.

I BELIEVE HE'S ABOUT 55 FEET LONG.

THAT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST BALLOON IN THE PARADE, I UNDERSTAND.

WHAT'S WITH YOU? WHERE THE HELL--

Ruth: SHHH!

WHERE THE HELL YOU GOING?

RUTH! RUTH!

THEY CAN COME OUT FOR BREAKFAST!

HERBIE, PLEASE.

SHHH.

Ruth: RACHEL, HONEY.

COFFEE.

RACHEL, IT'S YOUR MOM.

OH, FORGET IT. GET BACK.

GET BACK HERE. IT'S OK.

OHHH.

COME IN, MOM.

HI.

HI.

UM, I--I BROUGHT YOU SOME CAPPUCCINOS.

THANKS.

AND, UM, THE TURKEY'S ALMOST READY TO GO IN THE OVEN. OK?

OK.

OY.

[GROANING] OH...GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

I KNOW.

I'M IN THE CRACK AGAIN.

ALL NIGHT I WAS IN THE CRACK.

[SIGHS]

WELL, WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

PLEASE, HERBIE, PLEASE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THEY COULD'VE HAD BREAKFAST OUT HERE.

PLEASE, JUST EAT YOUR BAGEL, WOULD YA?

[LOUD CHATTER]

[DOORBELL]

DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY.

Voice Inside: GO PITTSBURGH!

THAT'S A NICE LOOKING TREE.

I KNOW.

SHE'S REALLY INTO GARDENING.

OH, BABY!

OH!

OH! [KISS] LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

MAMA, THIS IS JIMMY.

HELLO, HELLO. WELCOME.

OH, IT'S GOOD TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

COME IN, COME IN!

WELCOME TO THE TESTOSTERONE CLUB.

ANTHONY, GET OVER HERE.

HOW'S MY LITTLE SISTER?

DAMN. WHAT ARE YOU EATING AT BERKELEY?

YOU'RE GETTING HEAVY.

SHUT UP, TONY. TONY, JIMMY.

JIMMY, TONY.

HEY, JIMMY, HOW YOU DOING?

Elizabeth: COME ON IN.

ABUELA'S HERE. SHE JUST CAME IN THE DOOR AND WENT RIGHT TO THE KITCHEN.

HEY, IS THAT GINA'S BOYFRIEND?

YEAH, WHY?

I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA BE CHINESE AND SHIT.

NEITHER DID I.

NOW SHUT UP AND WATCH THE GAME.

Gina: COME, HERE, BABY!

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO BRING HER BACK THOUGH, RIGHT?

BYE, MARIA!

AND THEN I PUT THE PEPPER...

HEH HEH HEH!

JIMMY, CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?

WATER WOULD BE GREAT.

OH, MAMA, SIT DOWN.

I'LL GET IT. HERE, TAKE HER.

OH, DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY.

[CRYING]

[WOMEN COOING]

SO WHERE ARE YOU FROM, JIMMY?

UH, I WAS BORN IN VIETNAM.

OH, NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

I MEAN, GINA TOLD ME THAT YOUR FAMILY LIVES IN L.A.

OH, YEAH. THEY LIVE IN WESTMINSTER.

AH.

HEY, WOULD YOU TWO LIKE TO TAKE A NAP OR A SHOWER OR SOMETHING? FRESHEN UP?

OH, BRING THE BABY BACK.

OK, AND THEN GET JIMMY A COUPLE OF TOWELS, ALL RIGHT?

GET THE NICE ONES!

THANK YOU, MRS. AVILA.

HI, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, I'M NOT, I'M NOT.

UM, JUST-- JUST COME SOON, OK?

[GIGGLING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU CRAZY?

YOUR COUSINS AND MOM ARE OUTSIDE.

THEY'RE BUSY.

LISTEN, LISTEN TO ME.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

GINA?

I KNEW IT. I TRUSTED YOU.

WOULD EITHER OF YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO EAT?

Jimmy: UH, THAT'S--

THAT'S OK, MRS. AVILA.

WE HAD SOME BAGELS ON THE WAY DOWN HERE.

OK, WELL, JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

[WHISPERS] Shit!

THAT WAS FUNNY.

NOT AS FUNNY AS THIS!

YOU KNOW, THEY HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN OVER A YEAR?

IT'S TERRIBLE. THAT'S IT, CARLA.

JUST MAKE SURE IT GOES ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK.

MMM, THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART.

I MEAN, OUR ONLY GRANDSON NOT CIRCUMCISED YET.

IT'S A SHANDA.

A-AND THEY SPOKE TO THAT MOYEL IN BEVERLY HILLS ABOUT THE BRIS AND EVERYTHING.

BUT IT'S UP TO HIS PARENTS.

NO, NO, IT'S TRADITION.

YEAH, YOU INVITED THEM BECAUSE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.

I INVITED THEM BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THAT RETIREMENT HOME HAS NO PLACE TO GO DURING THE HOLIDAYS, AND SO WE COULDN'T DO THAT TO THEM.

STILL, YOU SHOULD NOT BE TALKING TO THEIR KIDS.

OH, WELL, YOUR FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY HAVE NEVER EVER BEEN GOOD LISTENERS.

ALL RIGHT, CARLA?

COULD YOU PLEASE GET THE OVEN?

SURE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S PUT IT IN.

HERE WE GO.

ALL RIGHT, ON 1, 2, 3.

OK, I GOT IT.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S HEAVY.

IT'S VERY HOT.

EASY!

OY, OY, OY.

THERE WE GO.

LOOKS PRETTY, HUH?

IT'S ABOUT, UH...

IT'S ABOUT 100 DEGREES NOW.

I LIKE TO USUALLY KEEP IT AROUND 104, 105.

WE HAVE A JACUZZI AT MY GYM, BUT I NEVER--

I GO IN EVERY NIGHT. I--

IT'S GOOD FOR THE CIRCULATION, BUT YOU CAN'T STAY IN TOO LONG BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD FOR THE KIDNEYS.

YOU KNOW MICHAEL LANDON FROM, UH, FROM BONANZA?

UH-HUH?

HE WAS JEWISH.

THE WHOLE CARTWRIGHT FAMILY WAS JEWISH.

OYSTER AND SHIITAKE MUSHROOM DRESSING?

HMM. NEVER HEARD OF THAT BEFORE.

THESE FRIENDS OF YOURS...

DON'T THEY HAVE FAMILIES TO BE WITH TODAY?

JAMES' PARENTS ARE PASSED ON, OK?

PAULA'S FAMILY IS IN MONTANA.

WELL, ISN'T MICHAEL GONNA AT LEAST CALL?

OR DO YOU JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER ON THE E-MAIL NOW?

WE'LL CALL HIM IN A WHILE.

MOMMY, WHEN THE TURKEY GONNA BE READY?

IT'S ALMOST DONE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU KNOW, I COULD WHIP UP A BATCH OF MACARONI AND CHEESE.

YOU KNOW, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE IT'S GOOD TO TRY SOMETHING BRAND NEW.

WELL...

I HOPE YOU PUT ENOUGH CINNAMON ON THAT APPLE PIE.

Ronald: MM-MMM!

SOMETHING REALLY SMELLS GOOD COMING OUT OF THAT KITCHEN.

DADDY'S HOME, GRANDMA.

HI, DADDY.

THAT'S IT, LADIES. YOU GOT ME FOR THE REST OF THE WEEKEND.

HI, DARLING.

HELLO, BABY, BABY.

DADDY, I HELPED GRANDMA PEEL THE POTATOES.

EXCUSE ME, YOU NEED TO GET READY.

I GOTTA GO.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING CORNBREAD STUFFING AND MACARONI AND CHEESE.

YOU KNOW WHATEVER YOU LADIES COME UP WITH WILL BE FINE WITH ME.

YEAH, SHIITAKE MUSHROOM DRESSING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I CANNOT DO THIS.

WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY?

I CANNOT DO THIS ALL ALONE.

LOOK, I'M SORRY. THE PHOTO SHOOT WENT OVER.

SHE KEEPS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT MICHAEL.

I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY TO HER.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, AUDREY?

WELL, IT'S YOUR FAULT HE'S NOT COMING, RONALD.

WHAT CAN I DO?

YOUR MOTHER THINKS YOU SHIT ICE CREAM.

YEAH.

NO.

LOOK, BABY--

WHAT?

I RESENT YOU PUTTING ME IN THIS POSITION.

I RESENT IT, AND TODAY I'M REALLY FEELING IT.

LOOK, I WILL TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER FROM HERE ON OUT, OK?

I WILL TELL HER SOMETHING.

COME ON, COME ON, THIS IS THANKSGIVING.

WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS.

OK?

LOOK, JUST HANG IN THERE.

I'M GONNA GO GET CHANGED. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[WIPEOUT PLAYING]


THERE WE GO.

Audrey: WATCH THIS. LOOK AT THIS.


NO, GORDO!

Grace: YOU LOVED IT WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY, I'LL TELL YOU.


OW!

Jimmy: MRS. AVILA, DO YOU MEAN UP HERE?

YEAH, THE ONES IN THE BACK.

UH, THOSE. THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

IT'S TRUE. IT'S TRUE.

THANK YOU, JIMMY.

OH, YOU!

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!

YOU GUYS WANT A BEER?

YOU BETTER NOT BE A 49ers FAN.

NO, NO, NO! HE WAS OUT.

IT'S INCOMPLETE. HE WAS OUT!

WATCH! IT WAS INCOMPLETE.

COME HERE FOR SEC.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

WATCH, RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW.

SEE? YES, TOLD YOU!

YES, YES, LOOK IT!

NO, NO, NO NO!

HA HA HA!

WHAT'S UP?

TELL ME THE TRUTH, TONY.

HOW'S MOM BEEN?

SHE SEEMS FINE.

YEAH, BUT DO YOU THINK SHE'S OK?

WELL, SHE LOOKS A LOT BETTER THAN DAD.

YOU SAW DAD?

YESTERDAY AT THE SUPERMARKET.

HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT.

IT'S OVER WITH AUNTIE ROSA.

HE KNOWS HE SCREWED UP, ALL RIGHT, GINA?

YEAH, WELL, SCREWING UP IS ONE THING, BUT NOT WITH YOUR WIFE'S COUSIN.

I MEAN, THAT SHIT'S BEYOND SCREWED UP, TONY.

WELL, I KIND OF INVITED HIM OVER TODAY.

WHAT?!

YOU KNOW, IT'S OVER, AND HE HAS NO PLACE TO GO, SO I THOUGHT--

HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID, TONY?

HEY, MOM'S ALREADY FREAKED OUT AND YELLED AT ME, OK?

WELL, DID YOU TELL HIM NOT TO COME?

YEAH.

I LEFT A MESSAGE ON HIS MACHINE.

OK? HAPPY?

[MEN ARGUING]

Carla: GOOD. GOOD!

YEAH, RACHEL SENDS HER LOVE.

NO, IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND SUNNY HERE.

WHAT? IT'S ALREADY SNOWING?

HOW'S THE LEG, MOM?

OK, JUST DON'T OVERDO IT.

IT'S NICE SHE GETS ON SO WELL WITH HER MOTHER.

OH, SHE'S LOVELY.

WE DON'T GET TO SEE HER ENOUGH, BUT I'D REALLY LIKE YOU TO MEET HER SOMEDAY.

YOU KNOW...

ALL MY LIFE ALL I EVER WANTED FOR YOU WAS...

TO BE HAPPY.

TO MEET SOMEBODY SPECIAL AND--AND JUST HAVE A FAMILY.

OH, MOM, I AM HAPPY.

CARLA MAKES ME VERY, VERY HAPPY.

James: WAIT A MINUTE.

COME ON, MONICA.

I AM COMING!

DON'T TALK TO PAULA LIKE THAT.

HI, AUDREY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

YOU REMEMBER MONICA, DON'T YOU?

YES, HI, MONICA.

SORRY, AUDREY.

WE WOULD'VE TOLD YOU SOONER, BUT MONICA JUST ARRIVED.

OH, NONSENSE! MONICA, WELCOME.

YOUR FATHER DOESN'T BRING YOU OFTEN ENOUGH.

HE MOTHER DROPPED HER OFF THIS MORNING.

THEY HAD ANOTHER FALLING OUT.

SHE HAS BEEN A PAIN IN THE ASS.

SHE CAN SIT NEXT TO MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

PRESENTING SEÑOR TURKEY!

All: OOH!

IS IT COOKED?

LOOKS GOOD TO ME.

EH, COULD GO BACK IN, MAYBE.

LET'S BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

LET ME BASTE IT AGAIN. WE'LL PUT IT BACK IN JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES.

Anthony: YOU WANT ANOTHER BEER?

Jimmy: NO, THAT'S IT.

SO, DO YOU HAVE A BIG FAMILY?

I HAVE, YOU KNOW, 2 LITTLE BROTHERS AND A SISTER.

MY GRANDPARENTS LIVE WITH US, TOO.

YEAH?

ARE YOU GUYS TIGHT?

YEAH.

SHOULD WE GO INSIDE AND GIVE 'EM A HAND?

YEAH.

DO YOU LIKE JACKIE CHAN?

YEAH, SURE.

THAT BOY IS HELL OF A CRAZY, JUMPING OFF OF HELICOPTERS, BUSES, HANGING FROM POLES.

YEAH, HE'S PRETTY BAD.

YEAH, BUT HE'S NOT AS BAD AS BRUCE.

BRUCE LEE IS THE BADDEST.

RIGHT?

YEAH?

NO ONE CAN TOUCH BRUCE.

UH-UH.

SOPHIE!

SWEETIE, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER BEER?

Sophie: WHY DON'T YOU GET IT YOURSELF?

YOU TELL AUDREY ABOUT MICHAEL?

NO.

SHE WORRIES ABOUT HIM ENOUGH AS IT IS.

SHE'S STILL MAD, THEN?

IT'S GETTIN' BETTER.

YEAH?

JUST WISH MICHAEL WOULD GROW UP, THOUGH.

[SIGHS] GOOD LUCK.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU KNOW MICHAEL'S NOT COMING?

I WAS AFRAID TO ASK.

THEY'RE STILL NOT SPEAKING, HUH?

NO.

WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN'T CALL YOURSELF A FAMILY IF SOMEONE ISN'T SPEAKING TO SOMEONE ELSE.

HA.

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY THANKSGIVING WITH US?

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I'D RATHER DO LESS.

NOW YOU BE THE MOMMY, AND I'LL BE THE DADDY.

WOW. THIS IS SICK.

YOU GUYS ARE REALLY TWISTED, YOU KNOW THAT?

Grace: KRISTEN.

WHAT ARE Y'ALL PLAYIN', HONEY?

PLAY WITH US, GRANDMA.

WE'RE PLAYING THANKSGIVING.

OH, HOW NICE.

YEAH. SHE'S THE MOMMY, SHE'S THE DADDY, AND I'M THE ALCOHOLIC, CULT-WORSHIPPING, SATANIC STEPMOTHER.

OH.

[DOOR OPENS]

MMM. HI.

HI.

ARE YOU OK?

WELL, I MADE IT THROUGH YOUR DAD'S DISSERTATION ON HOT TUBS.

OH.

HA HA HA.

MOM SENDS HER BEST. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

[SIGHS] I ALMOST TOLD HER.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE BURST INTO TEARS ABOUT SOMETHING.

SHE DOESN'T WANT MY AUNT AND UNCLE TO KNOW ABOUT US.

THE UNCLE WHO'S HAVING THE AFFAIR WITH THE MISTRESS.

YES.

OH, GOD.

MMM.

PLEASE, DON'T-- DON'T LET THEM PULL YOU INTO AN ARGUMENT AND DON'T SIT NEXT TO MY UNCLE DAVID, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T CHEW HIS FOOD PROPERLY, AND IT DRIPS ALL DOWN HIS... IT'S DISGUSTING.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

SHOW TIME.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

WE'LL HAVE FUN.

OK. COME ON.

Woman: OH, HI!

RACH, COME ON.

COME ON. [KISSES] OOPS.

Woman: IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

Herb: HOW WAS THE TRAFFIC?

WAS THE TRAFFIC BAD, OR...

OK.

I KNOW YOU LIKE MY KISHKE.

HI.

OH, RACHEL, HONEY.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

OH, THANK YOU.

DOESN'T SHE LOOK BEAUTIFUL?

JUST LIKE A MOVIE STAR.

THANK YOU.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HELLO.

IS THIS YOUR ROOMMATE?

THIS IS CARLA, YEAH.

OH, CARLA. NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

HA HA HA!

I'LL TAKE THIS.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A LITTLE NOSH?

DAVID, TAKE OFF YOUR HAT.

NOW, LISTEN.

I HAVE SOMEONE COMING OVER...

JUST FOR DESSERT, A FRIEND, SO I NEED YOU TO SET A PLACE RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

OK, GOOD. WHO IS SHE?

HE. HIS NAME IS DANIEL.

ALL RIGHT, MAMA.

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS?

I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.

HE'S A TEACHER AT THE SCHOOL.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

EXCUSE ME. THE DOOR.

[ALL GREETING EACH OTHER]

YEAH.

YOU GOT HER?

YEAH.

OK, JERRY, CAN YOU GET THE DOOR?

OK.

[KISSES]

YOU'RE GONNA GO SEE YOUR GRANDPA AND GRANDMA.

OOH, WE'RE VERY EXCITED.

YOUR FIRST THANKSGIVING.

AND LOTS OF FOOD.

AND YOUR AUNT, AND YOUR AUNT'S FRIEND. MM-HMM.

YEAH.

OH, THAT'S MY GIRLS!

OH! HO HO HO!

LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GIRL.

HI.

LOOK AT HER.

[BABY CRIES]

OH, HO HO. YOU SCARED HER, DAVID.

YOU SCARED HER.

COME HERE, SWEETHEART.

[ALL TALKING]

Ruth: EVERYBODY, THIS IS SARAH'S BROTHER JERRY.

HOW ARE YOU?

I'LL GET SOME MORE CHAIRS.

DAVID, YOU'RE SCARING HER.

YOU'RE SCARING HER.

YOUR FACE IS VERY FRIGHTENING...

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA! TO A LITTLE KID.

MY MOM HAS A BOYFRIEND.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HIM?

LIKE NORMAL. JUST...

JUST BE NORMAL.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR MOM GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND?

HA HA HA HA!

IT COULD HAPPEN.

YEAH. YOU NEVER KNOW.

RIGHT NOW MY MOM WILL BE COOKING 2 MEALS--

ONE FOR MY GRANDPARENTS, AND ONE FOR THE KIDS.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GO OVER FOR DESSERT.

I'D RATHER BE WITH YOU.

WELL, I CAN GO WITH YOU.

I COULD BE A FRIEND WHO GAVE YOU A RIDE DOWN.

I CAN'T BE MYSELF WITH THEM.

GINA, SWEETHEART.

WOULD YOU GO AND GET ME SOME MORE BUTTER?

'CAUSE I USED ALL OF IT ON THE MASHED POTATOES, AND ON THE WAY, WOULD YOU RETURN THIS?

IT'S PROBABLY CLOSED, MOM.

JUST PUT IT IN THE SLOT.

THANKS, BYE.

[SHOP BELL JINGLES]

JENNY, WHAT'S WRONG?

COME HERE.

JENNY, WHAT'S WRONG? COME ON.

I GOT A MILLION THINGS TO DO.

WHAT'S WRONG?

[CRYING]

WHAT?

WHAT'S WRONG? COME ON.

YOU'RE FREAKIN' ME OUT.

WHAT'S WRONG?

WHAT?

HERE. OPEN THIS.

GENTLY, GENTLY.

BE CAREFUL.

HOLY SHIT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' WITH A GUN?

IT'S NOT MINE!

I FOUND IT UNDER MY BROTHER'S BED, OK?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

JEN, JEN.

DON'T! DON'T TOUCH IT.

IT'S TOO HOT, MA.

I'LL DO IT.

CHECK THE SALAD, PLEASE.

DUC, CAN YOU GET JENNY?

WE NEED SOME HELP IN THE KITCHEN, YEAH?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Duc: OK. HEY, TOUCHDOWN?

HELLO?

IS GARY THERE?

I'M COMING TO CLOSE THE STORE.

YOUR MOM NEEDS YOU IN THE KITCHEN.

CAN YOU PLEASE GET GARY FOR ME?

GARY.

YEAH. JENNY.

WHY?

I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

GARY, I FOUND SOMETHING IN YOUR ROOM.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN, GARY?

WHAT'D YOU DO WITH IT?

IT'S NOT MINE, ALL RIGHT?

I'M JUST LOOKIN' AFTER IT FOR SOMEBODY.

HAVE YOU USED IT?

LOOK, I TOLD--

I TOLD YOU IT'S NOT MINE.

YOU BETTER NOT SAY NOTHIN', JEN.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE IT BACK.

Trinh: CAN YOU GET JENNY, PLEASE?

YEAH.

LOOK, MOM WANTS YOU.

DON'T SCREW AROUND, JENNY. ALL RIGHT?

NOW, I'M GONNA COME OVER AND GET THIS.

HURRY UP.

ALL RIGHT.

COME HERE. WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

OH, SHIT. DAD.


Duc: STOP IT NOW! YOU, PLEASE.

JENNY, GET IN THE CAR! COME ON!

LET'S GO! OUTSIDE!

Jenny: WAIT! WAIT!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

COME ON, GET IN THE CAR!

HURRY UP! HURRY UP!

Duc: GET IN THE CAR!

Jenny: I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU.

JENNY, I SAID GET IN THE CAR NOW!

NO!

YOU, GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

Boy: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

Duc: GET IN THE CAR.

GET IN THE CAR. LET'S GO.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING.

I DON'T CARE. DO WHAT I SAY.

GET IN THE CAR! NOW!

NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!

YOU! GET AWAY FROM HERE, OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE!

JEN, JUST TELL HIM, OK?

STAY AWAY FROM US!

JUST TELL HIM.

SHE WAS WITH A WHITE GUY?

I TOLD YOU, SHE WAS WITH SOME GUY.

SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD BEEN CRYING.

DID SHE LOOK LIKE SHE WAS IN TROUBLE?

NO. SHE PROBABLY JUST GOT IN A FIGHT WITH HER BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING.

BOYFRIEND?

WHO IS HE?!

WHO WAS HE, JENNY?

LOOK, IT DOESN'T MATTER!

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE THROWN HIM OUT!

DON'T YOU UNDER--

IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE CONDOMS?

IS THAT WHY YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE CONDOMS?

UNH!

SO YOU CAN SLEEP WITH EVERYBODY?

YOU ARE A SHAME, YOU KNOW.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD I AM!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT?

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT--

[SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY]

IS THAT HOW YOU REPAY YOUR FAMILY?!

HUH? YOU UNGRATEFUL BEAST, YOU.

[SOBBING]

YOU UNGRATEFUL--

IS THAT HOW YOU GIVE THANKS, HUH?

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND?

WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND?

NOW WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND?

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.

YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!

OK. ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT. IT'S FINISHED FOR NOW.

IT'S FINISHED FOR NOW. YOU GO.

FINISHED FOR NOW! FINE!

[SLAMS DOOR]

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT OUR CHILDREN.

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT OUR CHILDREN.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[GRANDMOTHER SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

[DOOR OPENS]

JENNY, JENNY, COME ON.

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, GRANDMA.

[SOBBING]

NO, I'M NOT EATING.

WELL, THEN WHY DON'T THEY TELL ME THAT?

ALL THEY EVER TALK ABOUT IS JIMMY.

BEA AND DAVID SORT OF FOULED THINGS UP TODAY.

ME, TOO.

THERE'S ALWAYS HANUKKAH.

SO, UM, HOW HAVE THEY BEEN WITH YOU TWO?

WELL, MOM BROUGHT US CAPPUCCINOS IN BED THIS MORNING.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

Gary: I GOT IT.

I GOT IT.

HELLO.

HEY, JIMMY. HOW ARE YOU?

IT'S JIMMY.

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

FINE. LISTEN, HOW'S EVERYTHING AT SCHOOL?

EVERYTHING'S GOOD.

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU GUYS IS ALL.

UM, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T COME HOME TODAY.

SCHOOL'S JUST BEEN CRAZY.

OH, YOU'RE A GOOD BOY, JIMMY.

LISTEN, YOUR MOM WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

JIMMY.

MOM, HEY. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

OH, JIMMY, YOU HAVE TO TALK TO JENNY.

SHE HAS DISGRACED THE FAMILY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

JIMMY...

DO THEY GIVE CONDOMS OUT TO GIRLS?

Herb: GORDO, NO!

I DON'T KNOW, MOM. LET ME TALK TO HER.

Trinh: JENNY! JENNY!

JIMMY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

YOU SEE? SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO US.

YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HER.

[SMOKE ALARM BEEPING]

OH, MY GOD!

MOM. MA.

HI, JIMMY. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

JOEY, LET ME TALK TO MOM.

JOEY!

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

IT'S TOO HOT.

ISN'T THAT GORGEOUS?

YES, IT'S STUNNING.

JUST LET'S GET IT OUT OF THE OVEN.

CLEAR ME A SPACE.

GOD, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I THINK THAT NEEDS A LITTLE MORE TIME, HONEY.

OH, IT'S DONE.

THE THERMOMETER SAYS IT'S DONE.

IT MIGHT SAY THAT, BUT I CAN TELL IT AIN'T READY.

UH...GRACE, IT'S DONE.

DON'T POKE MY TURKEY.

IT'S STILL PINK.

THAT'S NOT DONE.

IT'S--IT'S TURKEY.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE PINK.

PEOPLE GET ILL THAT WAY.

GRACE, I'VE BEEN COOKIN' THE TURKEY FOR 20 YEARS.

I THINK I KNOW WHEN THE TURKEY'S DONE.

[LAUGHING] MY GOD.

I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY.

OK, WELL, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU DO IT YOUR WAY.

JUST PUT MY HELPING IN THE MICROWAVE.

OH...MY GOD.

HUH? SEE HOW THAT CUTS?

Man: GET OVER HERE. GET OVER HERE!

YOUR CHILDREN BROKE A PLATE ON THE PATIO.

JOSE, IF YOU RUN, IT'S GONNA BE WORSE.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'LL GET IT.

Javier: HOLA, GINA.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Man: HEY, BRO.

MOM, I LEFT A MESSAGE. I SWEAR.

I JUST WANTED US ALL TO BE TOGETHER.

THAT'S ALL.

I BROUGHT YOU THESE.

THANK YOU.

GORDITO. [KISSING]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

GORDITO, ¿CÓMO ESTÁ?

HEY, MRS. WILLIAMS.

HERE. SIT DOWN.

I'VE BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

I GUESS I CAN'T KEEP UP.

SHE'S TAKING THE TURKEY'S TEMPERATURE.

WELL, JOIN US OUT HERE.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK, MOM?

I'LL GET IT.

I SHOULD CHECK IN INSIDE, ANYWAY.

WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU, MRS. WILLIAMS?

NOTHING, THANK YOU.

THANKS, JAMES.

YOUR WIFE YELLED AT ME.

[SLIDING DOOR CLOSES]

LIGHTEN UP ON AUDREY, ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S UNDER A LOT OF STRESS.

PLEASE DON'T DO THAT IN FRONT OF THE COMPANY.

FRIENDS ARE ONE THING.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME Y'ALL SAW ANY FAMILY?

TALKIN' ON COMPUTERS.

THAT AIN'T THE SAME THING.

OH, MAMA, LET'S NOT START, OK?

HE'S COMIN' BACK.

ARE YOU EMBARRASSED BY US?

ALL MY LIFE I HAD TO PUT UP WITH WHITE PEOPLE LOOKIN' AT ME FUNNY, AND NOW MY OWN SON'S GONNA DO THE SAME THING, TOO?

OH, MAMA, PLEASE DON'T BE CRAZY.

I MEAN, I'VE JUST BEEN BUSY.

THAT'S ALL.

MAYBE IF YOU SPENT MORE TIME WITH OUR FAMILY, MICHAEL WOULD THINK HE WAS PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

YOU GOT IT? OH, AUDREY.

OH, AUDREY, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S JUST PERFECT.

GORGEOUS!

IT'S NOTHING.

ARE THOSE YAMS DIANA?

YES!

INCREDIBLE. LOOK AT THIS WOMAN.

HEY, COME ON, YOU GUYS.

OH, THE STUFFING HAS OYSTERS IN IT.

I'M GONNA DIE.

James: DELICIOUS!

LOOK AT THIS FRUIT COMPOTE.

THIS WOMAN, TRULY...

CAN YOU GET OVER HOW GORGEOUS THIS IS?

EXCUSE ME, SWEETIE.

DAD, YOU KNOW I'M A VEGETARIAN, RIGHT?

MONICA, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING BEFORE?

WE HAVE PLENTY OF VEGGIES.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'LL BE FINE.

TAKE YOUR PLACES.

JAMES, PAULA, MONICA--

AAH! AAH!

Paula: NO, NO, NO. IT'S OK.

SWEETIE, IT'S GONNA BE OK.

MOVE THIS. GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY.

IT'S OK. IT DIDN'T HIT THE FLOOR.

EASY, EASY.

OH, MY GOD. AAH!

IT'LL BE OK, HON. IT'LL BE OK.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

YOU CAN RINSE 'EM.

HERE WE GO.

WE CAN RINSE IT.

THE BIRD DIDN'T HIT.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

HERE, YOU LITTLE ONES, COME HERE.

TAKE THIS BREAD.

GOT IT.

TAKE THE BREAD FOR MOMMY.

GO FIND A PLATE IN THE KITCHEN.

IT'S OK, IT'S OK, IT'S OK.

THINK WE CAN RINSE 'EM.

Paula: MONICA, GO WITH THEM. GET US ANOTHER PLATE.

HONEY, LOOK, THIS TURKEY IS FINE.

Paula: YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S FINE.

IT'S JUST GONNA BE FINE.

Grace: IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

WHAT ABOUT THE VEGETABLES?

WE CAN RINSE 'EM.

Paula: THAT'S ALL RIGHT. WE'VE GOT...

Ronald: THE BIRD IS SAFE.

James: WE'RE OK.

Monica: DAD, DAD.

WHAT?

HERE, SWEETIE. TAKE THIS FOR MOM.

VERY CAREFUL, TO THE KITCHEN.

UGH!

Paula: GIVE YOUR MOMMY A HUG, YOU.

YEAH.

SOMEBODY GET A CLEAN PLATE.

Grace: WE CAN RINSE 'EM.

WE CAN RINSE 'EM. IT'S STILL GOOD.

IT'S STILL GOOD.

THE TURKEY'S GREAT.

THE TURKEY DIDN'T EVEN HIT THE FLOOR.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, SWEETHEART.

OH, DON'T BE FUNNY.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE WE MISSING?

I'VE GOT MORE CRANBERRIES.

I'VE GOT MORE CRANBERRIES.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO ANOTHER THING.

IT'S FINE. WE'RE GONNA CLEAN THIS UP.

EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN.

AAH!

JUST CALM DOWN. IT'S OK.

JUST BE GRATEFUL WE HAVE...

HERE IT IS, EVERYONE.

All: OOH, AH!

I MADE THIS DISH ESPECIALLY FOR JERRY.

NICE.

All: OOH!

Man: THAT LOOKS GOOD.

WOW. DOESN'T THAT LOOK DELICIOUS?

OH, GINA.

AUDREY, WE'VE LOST A LITTLE IN PRESENTATION, BUT IT'S GONNA BE DELICIOUS, ABSOLUTELY.

♪ UH-HUH, OH, YEAH ♪ KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪ WHOO!

DEAR GOD, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING US ALL TOGETHER ON THIS VERY SPECIAL DAY...

AND FOR ALLOWING OUR CHILDREN TO BE HAPPY IN WHATEVER WAY THEY CHOOSE TO BE.

WE ASK THAT OTHERS BE AS UNDERSTANDING AND AS TOLERANT AS YOU ARE.

AND FOR THE FOOD WE'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

WE THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING US TO COME TOGETHER TODAY.

AND FOR OUR HAPPINESS.

I AM THANKFUL THAT THE SPIRIT OF MY LATE HUSBAND COULD BE HERE WITH US TODAY TO CELEBRATE YOUR GOODNESS.

[CELL PHONE MUSIC]

Audrey: UH, NO, DON'T, PLEASE.

IT'S THE SAME AT OUR HOUSE.

GRACE, GO AHEAD.

I'M THANKFUL FOR OUR HAPPINESS.

I'M THANKFUL FOR THE FOOD WE'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

Joey: AND WE PRAY FOR A WHOLE FUTURE PROGRESS, HARMONY, AND ALLOW US, SO THAT WE CAN ALL GET ALONG, AND PLEASE HELP THE RAIDERS WIN THE GAME SO THEY CAN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS, AND PLEASE GIVE ME SOME CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, LIKE A TELESCOPE, AND PLEASE WATCH OVER MY BROTHER JIMMY IN COLLEGE.

AMEN.

AMEN.

All: AMEN.

Ruth: LET'S EAT!


ABUELA, THE TAMALES....

ADRIAN, GIVE ME SOME DARK MEAT.

YOU KNOW, AUDREY, THIS SHIITAKE MUSHROOM STUFFING IS--

IT'S DIFFERENT.

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

HEY, AUDREY, IS THERE ANY ANIMAL FAT IN HERE?

Audrey: OH, NO. NOT AT ALL.

THAT'S MOROCCAN FRUIT COMPOTE.

THAT'S FRUIT. IT WOULD BE KIND OF OUT OF PLACE IN A FRUIT COMPOTE.

OH, OK.

I NEED SOME BREAD.

Audrey: DO YOU DO CHEESE, MONICA?

I LIKE THE LITTLE CHINESE CHICKEN SALAD THIS YEAR.

NICE TOUCH.

Herb: WHAT ARE WE HAVING FOR DESSERT?

[ALL LAUGH]

MOM, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S DELICIOUS.

MMM. VERY GOOD, LIZZY. DELICIOUS.

TO ALL THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE, THANK YOU.

CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME BREAD?

Ronald: VERY GOOD.

James: THIS STUFFING'S DELICIOUS.

NOW, THAT LITTLE TRAGEDY SEEMS LIKE IT HAPPENED LAST YEAR, DOESN'T IT? EVERYTHING IS JUST PERFECT.

Gary: HOW'S THE CHICKEN, JOEY?

REALLY GOOD.

Audrey: DO YOU LIKE THE BREAD?

MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT THANKSGIVING IS KNOWING I CAN EAT THIS TOMORROW.

HUSH UP, EVERYBODY. HUSH. HUSH. EVERYBODY.

I KNOW THIS IS AN OLD-FASHIONED TRADITION, BUT MY LATE HUSBAND ALWAYS INSISTED THAT WE GO AROUND THE TABLE AND SAY THE ONE THING WE'RE THANKFUL FOR.

I REMEMBER THIS.

AUDREY, YOU'RE FIRST, OK?

WELL, LET'S SEE--

[DOORBELL RINGS]

WHO COULD THAT BE? HUH?

ARE WE THANKFUL FOR THIS?

IT COULD BE THE GOVERNOR.

YEAH. HE CAN'T GET THE PAINT OUT OF HIS HAIR.

IF HE CAN'T GET YOU ON THE PHONE, HE GETS IN HIS CAR. HE'S DONE IT BEFORE.

Paula: NO. I'M NOT JOKING. I WON'T TELL YOU WHEN.

[LAUGHTER]

Ronald: HONEY.

Kristen: IT'S MICHAEL!

MY GOD, YOU CAME! MY SWEETIE. [LAUGHS]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE.

[AUDREY LAUGHS]

HEY, HOW'S MY BABY SISTER?

HOW YOU DOING? YOU'RE GETTING SO HEAVY.

LOOK AT YOU.

Michael: HEY, GRANDMA.

OH, HI, HONEY. IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. OH!

OH, GREAT. RONNIE, GET HIM ANOTHER CHAIR.

I WANT MY HANDSOME GRANDSON SITTING RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME.

THERE'S A CHAIR RIGHT THERE.

Grace: I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GONNA LET ME GO HOME WITHOUT SEEING YOU.

Michael: YOU KNOW THAT.

[TALKING]

MICHAEL, YOU REMEMBER PAULA, JAMES.

Audrey: THIS IS MONICA, JAMES' DAUGHTER.

HOW YOU DOING?

HERE YOU ARE, SWEETIE.

THANK YOU, MOM.

GIVE HIM PLENTY OF TURKEY.

THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE HE NEEDS A LITTLE HOME COOKING.

YOU'RE CRAZY.

DARK MEAT.

SO YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?

YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED. LET US KNOW YOU WERE COMING.

NONSENSE. RONALD, HE DOESN'T NEED TO CALL TO COME HOME.

[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MACARONI AND CHEESE?

GRANDMA, YOU MADE THE MACARONI AND CHEESE?

YEAH, BABY. YEAH.

Michael: LOOKS GOOD.

THIS IS MOROCCAN FRUIT COMPOTE, SWEETIE. OOPS. HA!

THANKS, MA.

AH, IT IS GOOD.

I KNEW YOU MADE IT, GRANDMA.

YEAH.

[JAVIER SPEAKING SPANISH]


Javier: JIMMY.

[IMITATES BRUCE LEE]

HEY, JULIO LEE.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW WHO I'M DOING, RIGHT?

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH.

[LAUGHTER]

HERE'S TO BRUCE.

YEAH.

[TALKING]

SARAH, CAN I HELP YOU WITH THE BABY?

WE'RE FINE.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. HERE. TAKE SECONDS.

Ruth: DON'T BE SHY.

I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

AND THEN, WHERE WERE YOU LIVING AFTER THAT?

AND DON'T YOU JUST LOVE LOS ANGELES?

UM, IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME?

NO. ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN HERE ONCE BEFORE.

I LIKE IT. I JUST DON'T THINK I COULD LIVE HERE.

EVERYTHING'S SO SPREAD OUT.

IT USED TO BE IN L.A., EVERYTHING WAS 20 MINUTES AWAY.

NOW IT'S 24-HOURS- A-DAY TRAFFIC.

MUST BE REALLY HARD TO MEET PEOPLE.

PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THEIR NEIGHBORS ARE.

WELL, HOW DID YOU AND RACHEL BECOME ROOMMATES?

ARE YOU SCHOOL FRIENDS?

Carla: UH, NO. WE MET AT WORK.

YEAH. CARLA STARTED WITH THE COMPANY

3 WEEKS BEFORE I DID.

SHE ACTUALLY OWNS THE HOUSE THAT WE LIVE IN.

OH.

JERRY--

SO YOU ALSO WORK IN THE SAN FRANCISCO AREA?

MM-HMM.

JERRY, DID YOU ENJOY THE POLENTA?

IT'S DELICIOUS. THANKS.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME MORE?

I'LL TAKE SOME MORE. THAT'D BE GREAT.

IS THAT WHAT THAT IS? I THOUGHT IT WAS JELL-O.

Ruth: BEA.

[LAUGHTER]

IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE JELL-O.

Herb: BEA... HA HA HA.


AND, PAULA, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

OH, WELL, I GUESS I'M MOST THANKFUL THAT WE'RE ALL HEALTHY--

HEAR, HEAR.

THAT NOTHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED TO ANY OF US, AND THAT WE HAVE GOOD FRIENDS WHO INVITED US OVER, SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND THE LAST 3 DAYS COOKING.

[ALL LAUGH]

RONNIE?

WELL, I'M THANKFUL FOR HAVING THE BEST MOTHER AND WIFE AND CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.

Grace: MICHAEL?

I'M JUST GLAD TO BE HOME.

Grace: AND--

Monica: MONICA.

YOU'RE LAST.

I'D LIKE TO THANK OUR FELLOW NATIVE AMERICANS WHO GAVE US THIS LAND IN EXCHANGE FOR MEASLES, RESERVATIONS, AND CASINOS, SO WE COULD HAVE ALL THIS FOOD TO CELEBRATE IT WITH.

MONICA, PLEASE.

MORE LIKE THANKS-TAKING, DON'T YOU THINK?

OK. VERY GOOD.

Paula: OK.

SO, MICHAEL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO LATELY?

I'M KEEPING BUSY.

HE'S MY FIRST GRANDSON TO GO TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW.

UH, GRANDMA. UM, I'M TAKING SOME TIME OFF.

Grace: WHAT? YOU QUIT?

NO. I DIDN'T QUIT.

WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL ME?

GRACE, A LOT OF KIDS TAKE THE SEMESTER OFF TO DECIDE WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING SO WELL.

I AM.

Ronald: WELL, YOU DID REGISTER FOR THE SPRING SEMESTER, RIGHT?

DAD, YOU KNOW I'M NOT GOING BACK.

HONEY, YOU'RE TAKING TIME OFF, AND THAT'S OK.

Ronald: YOU KNOW, UC SANTA BARBARA HAS A WELL-RESPECTED BUSINESS SCHOOL.

DAD, THERE'S NO BLACK PEOPLE THERE.

YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO WITH A DEGREE IN AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUDIES, YOUNG MAN. HMM?

RONALD.

Ronald: WHAT?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT LATER?

SO, RONALD, DID YOU WATCH THE NEWS LAST NIGHT?

ALL 3 STATIONS LED WITH THE PAINT THING.

I HAVE STRICT ORDERS FROM MY WIFE NOT TO TALK ABOUT WORK.

HE DESERVES IT.

THANK YOU, MONICA.

SO, MICHAEL, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WHOLE EBONICS THING?

[LAUGHS]

I LIKE YOU.

I MEAN, WHY DID THEY THROW PAINT ON HIS NICE SUIT?

DIDN'T RHODES GROW UP AROUND HERE?

SURE HE DID. HIS FATHER USED TO OWN A STORE AROUND THE CORNER FROM US.

YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT HIM?

HE SAYS WHAT HE THINKS, AND HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY ELSE SAYS.

OH, COME ON, DAD.

Bea: I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FAIRFAX, AND NOW, I'M AFRAID TO COME HOME.

IT WAS NEVER LIKE THAT BEFORE.

HIS ENTIRE CAMPAIGN WAS PLAYING ON PEOPLE'S FEARS.

David: YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK SOMEONE SHOULD SPEAK UP FOR THE ORDINARY PEOPLE.

I MEAN, THERE'S A LIMIT TO HOW MANY FOREIGNERS THIS COUNTRY CAN ACCOMMODATE.

UM--

DON'T.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT HIM?

HE'S AN HONEST MAN.

HE'S NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER POLITICIAN.

THEY'RE ALL EXACTLY THE SAME.

SOME ARE JUST A LITTLE MORE DANGEROUS THAN OTHERS.

NOW, IF WE DON'T HAVE SOME STRONG LEADERSHIP IN THIS STATE, IT'S GONNA COLLAPSE ON ITSELF.

YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME MAD? THE GRAFFITI.

IT MAKES EVERYTHING LOOK SO UGLY. I JUST--

DAD, DON'T YOU THINK HE'S A LITTLE EXTREME?

Herb: WELL, HE SHOULD DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO STOP WHAT'S GOING ON.

I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE ON WELFARE NOW.

THERE'S DRUGS, THE GANGS, COME ON!

IT'S GOT TO BE STOPPED.

BUT HE'S A RACIST, ANTI-GAY BIGOT.

I DIDN'T EVEN ASK JIMMY WHAT HE WAS EATING TODAY.

I WONDER IF THE CAFETERIA WOULD BE OPEN?

Elizabeth: THANK YOU, SWEETIE.

SO, JIMMY, WHAT'S YOUR FAMILY DO?

THEY OWN A VIDEO STORE.

OH. HAVE THEY MET GINA YET?

I'M GONNA MEET THEM AT CHRISTMAS.

I REMEMBER WHEN I MET YOUR MOTHER'S FAMILY.

REMEMBER, GRANDMA?

I WAS SO AFRAID OF GRANDPA THAT I COULDN'T EAT, AND LIZZY, SHE FIXED ME A LITTLE CARE PACKAGE TO TAKE HOME SO I WOULDN'T GO TO BED WITHOUT EATING.

REMEMBER THAT?

MM-HMM.

[GRANDMA AVILA SPEAKS SPANISH]

IF GRANDPA WERE ALIVE...


LIZZY, LOOK. THAT'S OVER NOW, ALL RIGHT?

I MADE A BIG MISTAKE. THAT'S ALL.

YOU'RE GLAD I'VE COME, RIGHT?

JAVIER, IT WAS ANTHONY WHO INVITED YOU, NOT I.

HE DID IT FOR US.

THEY WANT US TO BE TOGETHER NOW.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

COULD YOU TAKE THESE OUT BEFORE THEY GET COLD?

SURE.

YOU STILL TAKE MY BREATH AWAY.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Anthony: I'LL GET IT.

Anthony: HI. CAN I HELP YOU?

Daniel: YEAH. IS ELIZABETH HERE?

Anthony: MOM.

HEY.

PIES.

THANK YOU.

WOULD YOU TAKE THESE IN THE KITCHEN, PLEASE?

FEELING STRONG?

YEAH.

GOOD.

Elizabeth: EVERYONE, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET DANIEL.

HI, EVERYONE.

Elizabeth: COME. SIT OVER HERE BY ME.

Daniel: HI.

Elizabeth: COME ON OVER HERE.

ANTHONY, WOULD YOU BRING A CHAIR?

I NEED ANOTHER CUSHION FOR THAT AWFUL, AWFUL ORANGE CHAIR.

Daniel: THANKS.

Elizabeth: WILL THAT BE ALL RIGHT?

Daniel: OH, IT'LL BE FINE.

Elizabeth: OH! ALL RIGHT.

IS THERE ANY MORE WINE ON THE TABLE?

NO. ANTHONY, WOULD YOU GO IN AND GET SOME MORE WINE AND ALSO A GLASS FOR DANIEL? THANK YOU.

THIS IS MY SON ANTHONY.

HEY. HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

AND THIS IS MY DAUGHTER GINA.

HI, GINA.

AND THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND JIMMY.

AND I'M JAVIER, HER HUSBAND. WHO ARE YOU?

I'M A TEACHER AT ELIZABETH'S SCHOOL.

MICHAEL. HMM?

PLEASE DO NOT PUSH YOUR FATHER'S BUTTONS TODAY.

NO POLITICS, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW, MICHAEL?

I'M WORKING AS A TEACHER'S AIDE IN INGLEWOOD, SAVING UP TO GO TO HOWARD.

ISN'T THAT ALL THE WAY IN D.C.?

YEP.

YOU THINK HOWARD'S GONNA ACCEPT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FINISH WHAT THEY START?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO ISOLATE YOURSELF AT AN ALL-BLACK SCHOOL, ANYWAY?

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO CRITICAL OF ANYTHING BLACK?

YOU'RE WORKING FOR A MAN WHO SOLD OUT AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.

HE IS SAYING THE SAME THING THAT I AM SAYING.

DO FOR YOURSELF.

DON'T EXPECT ANYBODY ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU.

OH, COME ON, DAD.

THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT.

IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHO YOU KNOW AND WHERE YOU COME FROM.

SEE, WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HERE IS ACCESS.

BUT YOU DON'T THINK YOUR MOTHER AND I WORKED FOR ALL THIS?

I'LL TELL YOU THIS.

IF IT WASN'T FOR "AFFIRMATIVE ACTION,"

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE YOUR BOY COLIN POWELL NOW, NOW WOULD YOU?

MICHAEL, WHAT MR. RHODES IS SAYING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A BLACK OR WHITE OR DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN.

IT HAS TO DO WITH TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTION.

LIKE THE WAY YOU WALKED OUT ON MOM?

Paula: MONICA.

WELL, IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT?

MONICA, PLEASE.

THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE.

HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A HYPOCRITE, DAD?

MICHAEL, DON'T TALK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT.

NO, NO, NO, NO. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

HE'S JUST GOT NO RESPECT ANYMORE.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYBODY WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY, MICHAEL? HMM?

IF I WASN'T THERE, YOU'D BE IN JAIL RIGHT NOW.

MICHAEL.

WHAT DID HE DO?

OH, HE WAS THE ONE THAT THREW THE PAINT ON GOVERNOR RHODES.

ALL RIGHT!

MONICA, FOR GOD'S SAKE, PLEASE!

MICHAEL, THAT'S NOT RIGHT, HONEY.

YOUR DADDY WORKS SO HARD FOR ALL OF YOU ALL.

YEAH? WELL, ASK HIM WHY HE'S ALWAYS WORKING.

MICHAEL, THAT IS ENOUGH.

YEAH. ASK HIM WHO LISA IS.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

EXCUSE ME.

Michael: MOM, I'M SORRY.

Ronald: YOU HAPPY NOW?

MOM, I AM SO SORRY.

IT'S TIME FOR DESSERT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. I'M SORRY.

SOMEBODY, PLEASE TELL ME.

MOM FOUND OUT THAT DAD HAD BEEN SEEING A WOMAN AT WORK.

OH, I KNEW YOU WERE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME, HONEY.

IT'S OVER.

I JUST--OH, MY LORD, HONEY. YOU CAN'T GET A DIVORCE.

THE AFFAIR IS OVER.

YEAH, RIGHT.

RON! BOY!

MOM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY WITH HIM.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

WHY YOU ACTING LIKE THIS? YOU'RE ACTING SO WEAK.

WEAK? TRYING TO HOLD THIS FAMILY TOGETHER IS WEAK?

SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S NEVER THE FUCKING SHIT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH, BUT YOU AND KRISTEN MEAN MORE TO ME THAN THAT.

TELL ME HOW I'M WEAK.

Grace: SHAME ON YOU!

YOU'RE LEAVING.

I'M SORRY, SWEETIE. I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY, MOM.

JUST GONNA EAT?

[CRYING]

MRS. WILLIAMS.

RONALD WILLIAMS, HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THIS, SON?

MAMA, GOD KNOWS HOW SORRY I AM FOR BETRAYING THEM.

SORRY IS ONE THING. HOW YOU PLANNING ON FIXING IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE BEEN TRYING.

I KNOW I'VE HURT THEM VERY BADLY.

I MEAN, MICHAEL'S ALREADY GIVEN UP ON ME, AND I'M SCARED AUDREY'S GONNA GO NEXT.

THINK ABOUT WHY SHE'S STILL HERE.

GIVE HER THAT MUCH RESPECT.

WELL, I MUST SAY, HANNAH AND JESSICA ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

WHEN IS THE NEXT ONE COMING?

WELL, WE HAVE OUR HANDS FULL TILL THESE TWO ARE 18, AND THEN, IT DOESN'T EVEN STOP THERE WITH DAUGHTERS, DOES IT, DAD?

YEAH. PASS ME A TOOTHPICK, WILL YOU, ARTIE?

RACHEL, HONEY, I CAN HEAR THE CLOCK GOING TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK.

MEANING?

Bea: MEANING WE'RE ALL TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOUR MR. RIGHT TO COME ALONG.

WELL, STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.

BEA, PLEASE STOP PESTERING HER, PLEASE.

Bea: RACHEL, HONEY, YOU LOOK A LOT SLIMMER THIS YEAR.

IS THERE SOMEONE NEW IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU'RE KEEPING FROM US?

NOPE. NOBODY NEW.

WELL, MAYBE IT WOULD HELP IF YOU CHANGED YOUR HAIRSTYLE.

I GOT A LITTLE TURKEY HERE.

I GOT A LITTLE TURKEY.

WILL YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME SO I CAN GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER SOME WONDERFUL ADVICE?

YOU'VE BEEN WEARING IT THIS WAY FOR YEARS, AND IT LOOKS LOVELY, BUT I THINK THAT YOU OUGHT TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE GLAMOROUS.

I REALLY LIKE IT LIKE THIS.

Bea: YOU DO? OH.

Ruth: OH, BEA.

SOME MORE WINE?

SURE. WHY NOT?

JUST KEEP POURING.

Artie: HERE. TAKE THE BOTTLE.

THANKS.

[TALKING AND LAUGHING]

THAT SHOULD BE IN THE CENTER, AND THE FRUIT-- VERY GOOD.

DON'T WANT TO COUNT NO CALORIES.

[LAUGHTER]

MOM, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU INVITED SOMEONE.

WELL, I DID, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT.

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE--

IT'S OK. I'LL LEAVE.

OBVIOUSLY, I'M IN THE WAY HERE.

IF THIS IS TOO HARD, I DON'T MIND--

NO, NO, NO, NO. DANIEL, PLEASE.

JAVIER, ANTHONY WANTS YOU HERE.

EVERYONE WANTS YOU HERE.

PLEASE STAY.

JIMMY, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR DESSERT?

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME FLAN, SOME PIE, OR SOME ARROZ CON LECHE?

FLAN, PLEASE.

FLAN. VERY GOOD.

DOESN'T THAT LOOK DELICIOUS?

DELORES MADE THAT.

DANIEL, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

UH, SOME PUMPKIN WOULD BE GREAT.

PUMPKIN. COULD WE HAVE THE PUMPKIN DOWN HERE, PLEASE?

THANK YOU.

THAT LOOKS SO PRETTY WITH THE FLOWER.

JAVIER, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

HMM?

I WANT MY WIFE AND CHILDREN BACK.

Elizabeth: JAVIER, THIS IS NOT THE TIME.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PIE?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN MY WIFE?

A FEW YEARS. A FEW YEARS.

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A FEW YEARS.

WE WORK TOGETHER AT THE SCHOOL.

DANIEL HAS BEEN FOR ME A... COMPADRE.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

DAD, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT.

Javier: NO. SHE--

ROSA THREW HERSELF AT DAD LAST CHRISTMAS, OK?

OH, PLEASE, ANTHONY. ARE YOU REALLY GONNA BAIL ON SOFIA IF SOME SLUT WALKS IN RIGHT NOW?

HE BETTER NOT, OR I'M GONNA CUT HIS HUEVOS OFF.

NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S NOT RIGHT, MY WIFE DATING... [SPEAKING SPANISH]

SHUT UP, JAVIER!

CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S HAPPY NOW?

DAD! JAVIER!

YOU SEE?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]


MAN, HE'S GOT SOME NERVE.

Anthony: WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

SHE'S GONNA TAKE HIM BACK. SHE'S GOT TO.

NO, SHE DOESN'T.

Elizabeth: JAVIER.

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

I MEAN, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME SOMEBODY WAS COMING.

JAVIER, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING.

I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME.

LOOK. LOOK, I'M SORRY. LOOK, I DIDN'T REALIZE WHAT I WAS DOING, OK?

I MEAN, IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT, OK?

LOOK, JAVIER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, HMM?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?

THE WHOLE TIME YOU WERE GONE, YOU NEVER ONCE SAID YOU WERE SORRY TO ME, YOU NEVER ONCE SAID YOU WERE SORRY TO THE CHILDREN.

WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WERE THINKING?

OK.

OR FEELING?

ALL RIGHT. OK.

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

I LOVE YOU.

DON'T LET THIS ONE THING DESTROY THE FAMILY.

NO ONE IN THIS FAMILY IS DESTROYED.

WILL YOU GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE?

I'M SORRY.

FINE.

Anthony: JAVIER!

JAVIER!

JAVIER!

JAVIER!

[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

IT'S OK.

WHERE'S ANTHONY?

MOM...I'M SORRY.

[CAR TIRES SQUEAL]

IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

ALL YOU WORKING WOMEN, YOU EARN BIG SALARIES, BUT BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOUR FACE FALLS, YOUR BODY DROPS, AND IT'S TOO LATE.

WHAT GOOD IS A BIG HOUSE AND VACATIONS IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMEONE TO SHARE?

Art: ANYBODY WANT SOME MORE ICE CREAM?

Ruth: NOWADAYS, THEY ALL HAVE GOOD FRIENDS WHO ARE JUST LIKE FAMILY.

YOU WANT COOL WHIP, OR YOU WANT ICE CREAM?

IS IT LOW-FAT?

NO, IT'S NOT. HAVE THE COOL WHIP.

Rachel: SORRY, MOM.

I HAVE SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL, AND--AND--AND I'VE BEEN MEANING TO SAY IT FOR A WHILE, BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO QUITE FIGURE OUT HOW, SO--

RACHEL.

BUT I FIGURE THAT SINCE...

SINCE YOU'RE GONNA KNOW SOON ENOUGH, I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU.

RACHEL.

Art: D-DAD, SHH.

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT.

RACHEL. I'M...

Art: DAD, NO.

I'M PREGNANT.

WHAT?

I'M HAVING A BABY.

OH, MAZEL TOV! OH, IT'S WONDERFUL!

ISN'T THAT GREAT, DAD?

BUT YOU'RE A LESBIAN.

WHAT? WHAT DID HE SAY?

Art: DAD, COME ON.

RACHEL IS A LESBIAN. YOU KNOW, LIKE ELLEN.

WHO'S THE FATHER?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE FATHER IS.

Herb: WHO'S THE FATHER?

ELLEN LIEBERMAN? THE BUTCHER'S WIFE?

Rachel: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THE FATHER IS.

Herb: OF COURSE IT MATTERS WHO THE FATHER IS.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA BRING UP A CHILD WITHOUT A FATHER?

Bea: HERB, RUTH.

EVERYBODY JUST BE QUIET AND CALM DOWN BECAUSE THE TWINS ARE GETTING UPSET.

LISTEN, DAD. IT'S VERY COMMON THESE DAYS.

AND RACHEL AND CARLA ARE GONNA BE GREAT PARENTS.

Herb: I JUST WANNA--

I'M QUESTIONING WHAT'S RIGHT FOR THE CHILD.

ALL THAT--DAD. DADDY.

ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT I HAVE A BABY INSIDE OF ME.

AND I--AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA LOOK LIKE.

I MEAN, WE DON'T KNOW.

WE THINK IT'S GONNA BE A BOY, BUT WE'RE NOT SURE.

BUT I--I TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT HE'S GONNA LOOK LIKE IN OUR HOME WITH CARLA IN IT, AND WHAT HIS LIFE IS GONNA BE LIKE AND...WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE EVEN GONNA WANT TO KNOW HIM.

ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHO THE FATHER IS.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

DAD, HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING?

WAS IT AN ACCIDENT?

DID YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF AFFAIR?

HERBIE, PLEASE. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK.

WAS IT AN ACCIDENT?

IT WASN'T. I HAD A DONOR.

SOME ANONYMOUS MAN?

WELL, WHAT IF HE HAD SOME DISEASE OR SOMETHING?

HE DOESN'T!

HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

BECAUSE I KNOW.

Herb: YOU DON'T KNOW!

HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY DISEASE.

I KNOW BECAUSE IT'S JERRY.

BUT HE'S GAY!

SARAH'S BROTHER, HE'S A FAGGELA?

LOOK, DAD. THAT DOESN'T MATTER, OK?

THE POINT IS, THIS BABY IS GONNA BE PART OF OUR FAMILY.

THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.

Bea: SO, IS THE BABY JEWISH?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, DAD.

I THINK IT'S FOR ME.

WAIT--

WHAT'S UP? IS GARY HERE?

DON, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I GOT ALL--

NO! HE'LL CALL YOU LATER.

JEN!

GARY, STOP IT!

GARY'S IN SERIOUS TROUBLE.

DON'T LET HIM GO AFTER THOSE KIDS.

GARY, GO SIT DOWN.

WHAT THE HECK, JENNY? HE'S JUST MY FRIEND.

COME ON!

GARY, SIT DOWN!

JOEY, GOT TO TALK TO MOM AND DAD, OK?

WHAT ABOUT THE PUMPKIN PIE? WE GOTTA HAVE THAT NEXT.

JUST GO PLAY IN YOUR ROOM, OK?

OK.

NO! NO!

Jenny: MAKE GARY STAY!

GARY, SIT DOWN!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

TELL US, GARY. WHAT IS IT?

HERE. I FOUND IT UNDER HIS BED.

Trinh: WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

LOOK, IT'S NOT MINE, OK? I PROMISE.

WELL, WHOSE IS IT?

MY FRIEND ASKED ME TO HOLD ONTO IT, ALL RIGHT?

HE WAS AFRAID OF THESE GUYS AT SCHOOL.

IT DOESN'T MATTER, GARY!

HOW CAN YOU BRING A GUN INTO THE HOUSE, HUH?

I-IT'S NOT A TOY, YOU KNOW. IT'S NOT LIKE THE MOVIES!

HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND I WOULD FEEL IF WE CAME HOME AND FOUND YOU DEAD, HUH?

GARY...

ARE YOU IN A GANG?

GARY. GARY!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

COME BACK HERE!

GARY, NO!

STOP! STOP IT, ALL RIGHT?

GARY, I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP.

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM?

I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T MINE!

IF YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING, WE CAN'T HELP YOU!

ARE YOU IN A GANG, GARY?

NO!

I'M NOT THAT STUPID, ALL RIGHT?

WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN IN OUR HOUSE?

IS IT DON'S?

WH-WHY DOES DON HAVE A GUN?

SOME GUYS JUMPED HIM AND TOOK HIS JACKET.

HE STARTED CUSSING HIM OUT, AND NOW THEY'RE AFTER HIM.

WHAT THE--WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

HUH?

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND!

Gary: DAD, I GOTTA BACK HIM UP.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL A TEACHER?

'CAUSE TEACHERS CAN'T DO SHIT!

THEY CAN'T PROTECT US AFTER SCHOOL.

WE DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT YOU IN THE NEWSPAPERS, HUH?

WE CAME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM GUNS, AND YOU PLAY WITH THEM LIKE TOYS.

GRANDPA, THIS IS NOT VIETNAM, ALL RIGHT?

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE OUTSIDE.

I'M AFRAID TO GO TO SCHOOL.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

I DON'T--I DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED ALL THE TIME.

WHAT? I ONLY FOUND IT THIS MORNING, AND THAT'S WHY I WAS TALKING TO LUKE.

YOU TALKED TO A STRANGER? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?

YEAH. BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK ABOUT STUFF LIKE OTHER FAMILIES DO.

[GUNSHOT]

AAH!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

KRISTEN, SIT. GET HER, GRACE.

OH, MY GOD.

I THINK THAT CAME FROM YOUR HOUSE.

IS ANYONE HURT?

SHOULD I CALL AN AMBULANCE?

WHAT HAPPENED?

THE LITTLE BOY IN THAT HOUSE IS ONE OF MY STUDENTS.

RACHEL!

RACHEL, COME ON IN THE HOUSE!

I GUESS THEY'LL CALL AN AMBULANCE IF THEY NEED IT.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. COME ON.

YEAH, YEAH, I'M COMING.

HOLD ON, KID. HOLD ON.

JUST A SECOND.

I WANNA MAKE SURE EVERYONE'S ALL RIGHT.

HEY, YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?

WHERE DID IT COME FROM?

IT SOUNDED LIKE A CAR BACKFIRING.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A CAR.

IT'S DEFINITELY A SHOT. LOOK AT THE WINDOW.

THEY JUST MOVED INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

[OVERLAPPING COMMENTS]


YO. COME HERE AND HELP ME.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

YOU STAY IN THERE, JOSE, RIGHT NOW!

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO KEEP A GUN IN THE HOUSE?

I'M TELLING YOU, RUTHY, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A TRIAD WAR IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD. TRIAD WAR.

RUTH.

Ruth: YES.

I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND.

IS THE FATHER STILL THE FATHER, OR IS SOMEBODY ELSE GONNA BE THE FATHER?

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, BEA.

GOOD NIGHT, DAVID.

GINA, YOU THINK I SHOULD GO AND HELP THEM OUT?

NO. THEY'RE PROBABLY FINE ON THEIR OWN.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, HONEY.

OK, BABE. WE CAN GO.

GINA...

I MET HIS FATHER AT THE STORE YESTERDAY.

HE IS A GOOD MAN.

I THINK IT WOULD BE OK.

♪ WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE WERE OLDER? ♪

♪ THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG ♪

♪ AND WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO LIVE TOGETHER ♪

♪ IN THE KIND OF WORLD WHERE WE BELONG? ♪ HEY, JIMMY.

♪ YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA MAKE IT THAT MUCH BETTER ♪

♪ WHEN WE CAN SAY GOOD NIGHT AND STAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE COULD WAKE UP ♪

♪ IN THE MORNING WHEN THE DAY IS NEW? ♪

♪ AND AFTER HAVING SPENT THE DAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ HOLD EACH OTHER CLOSE THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH? ♪

♪ HAPPY TIMES TOGETHER WE'VE BEEN SPENDING ♪

♪ I WISH THAT EVERY KISS WAS NEVERENDING ♪

♪ WOULDN'T IT BE NICE?

OH, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

♪ YOU KNOW IT SEEMS THE MORE WE TALK ABOUT IT ♪

♪ IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE TO LIVE WITHOUT IT ♪

♪ BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT IT IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.

PLEASE.

Dad: JIMMY.

[SIGHS]

LOOKS GOOD, MOM.

ANOTHER GOOD THANKSGIVING DINNER.

JOEY, I HEARD YOU WERE IN A THANKSGIVING PLAY.

HOW'D IT GO?

Joey: IT WAS GOOD.

I HELD THE BIG, FAT TURKEY.

Duc: YOU WERE A TURKEY?

Joey: NO!

[ALL CHUCKLE]

♪ BA, BA BA BA, BA BA BA ♪

♪ DOO DOO DA

♪ BA, BA BA BA, BA BA BA ♪

♪ DOO DOO DA OH, MICHAEL, I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

BUT I'M TELLING YOU, LIFE'S GONNA BE REAL HARD WITHOUT AN EDUCATION.

I KNOW.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, FROM ME, FROM MY HEART, I SUPPORT ANY DECISION YOU MAKE.

HE'S NOT OVER IT, IS HE?

HE IS. HE IS.

♪ YOU KNOW IT SEEMS THE MORE WE TALK ABOUT IT ♪

♪ IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE TO LIVE WITHOUT IT ♪

♪ BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT IT I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD GET THE BLUE TILES.

I ALWAYS WANTED, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

A NATURAL STONE, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

HEY, MOM, DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?

WHO WANTS A CAPPUCCINO?

DAD, CAN YOU MOVE OVER? YOU'RE BLOCKING THE JETS.

OH, THERE'S PLENTY OF DESSERT LEFT OVER.

♪ WOULDN'T IT BE NICE?

♪ BA, BA BA BA, BA BA BA ♪

♪ GOOD NIGHT, BABY

♪ SLEEP TIGHT, BABY

♪ GOOD NIGHT, BABY

♪ SLEEP TIGHT, BABY

♪ GOOD NIGHT, BABY

♪ SLEEP TIGHT, BABY CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TRIMARK HOME VIDEO