Woman Times Seven (1967) Script

Paulette, that's enough.

That's enough, Paulette.

You must think of yourself.

You must be reasonable.

Thank you, Jean.

Doctor, please talk to her.

She hasn't eaten anything all day.

Paulette, life goes on.

You're young.

You have a full, rich life in front of...

You have a full, rich life in front of you...

And it's not me that's saying that.

It's Claude.

He'd want me to say that.

But he shouldn't have...

He shouldn't have left me alone.

You're not alone.

You'll always have your devoted Annette.

And if you'll permit...

There is also me.

Those are not just words.

They come from my heart.

They've been there since the first moment I saw you.

Paulette, there's a hole.

Paulette, don't leave me hanging in midair.

Say something.

Say no, but say something.

When I bought my farm, I was thinking of you, Paulette.

I pictured you, your hair streaming back...

Riding across the camarde on a beautiful horse.

You know what I have named my prize arab filly?

I have named her... Paulette.

Have you ever tasted milk, fresh from the cow...

Before they take all the goodness from it?

I'll bring it to you every morning in bed...

Like a servant.

Claude liked milk so much.

And then in a month or so, we'll be able to pick the apricots.

I have over 800 trees, full of apricots.

Shall we gather the apricots together at my farm in méjean, Paulette?

Filthy beasts.

They've no respect, not even for...

Poor widow.

Is mejean far from here?

By car, it's only eight hours away.

It's too far away from Claude.

Well, I have another little place in Orleans.

That's not even an hour away.

You must try to understand, Jean.

I don't want to leave Paris.

He was born here.

Paulette, you must forget about these things.

Then let's go overseas.

You decide where.

I don't know.

Paraguay. What about...


Isn't there a revolution going on there?

Well, there was, but I understand...

That the government has it sorted out now, I'm sure.

Maybe Honduras, huh?

Must be sad there. I've never heard anyone talk about it.

My passport's expired.

Well, that's no problem.

I'll take care of everything.

You need two photographs, your birth certificate...

Your husband's permission.

In this case...

But, Paulette...

Life will be ecstatic together.

You didn't expect me, did you?



In my own house!

In my own room and in my own bed!

I spoke to her in Italy this morning.

She was supposed to get back tomorrow.

Get dressed.

Mama Mia, get dressed.

Why did we ever move here in the first place?!

She wasn't to be here.

Foreign sales representative!

People like me!

Let me explain.

Maria Teresa, there is nothing between me and nanette.

Absolutely nothing! I can swear to you!

Keep away from me!

Stop! Don't get it out...

Out of proportion!

But I took this job because I love you!

You are going to be so sorry for this!

No! Maria Teresa!

Try to understand!

And are you gonna get some of your own medicine!

I'm going with the first man that I find on the street!

I am!

And right now!

It's not right! It's not fair!

Filthy, filthy, rotten liar.

Jehane, who's that for?

She's out of her territory.

Looks high class.


Don't know her.

Shut up.

You feeling bad? No.

Well, she's not deaf.

Maybe she's just dumb.

She is no working girl.

You can see that much.

Why? What's so different about her?


And look at her shoes.

This one's no Walker.

Got man trouble, cheri?

"Go to Rome,” he always tells me.

"Go to Rome and visit your parents."

"And take the children."

"They have sunshine there, and there's fresh air."

The filthy, filthy hypocrite!

Well, am I right, or am I wrong?

Course you're right...

And if you want to pay him back, do it right away.

Yes, it's the only right thing to do.

But don't cry. These animals won't pay for tears.

They want you full of laughs.

I'm not crying. It's just that I'm so angry.

Then what are you waiting for?

Get up onto the curb and get to it.

There are a lot of clients around here tonight.

Hey! What is this?!

The social hour?!

There's a customer down there...

Been straining at the leash for a half-hour!

Go on! Get to it!

Slave driver!

He'd even make me work on Christmas Eve.

You know, if we got ourselves organized...

We could go on strike every once in a while.

What a great idea.

There are thousands of hungry little housewives...

Just waiting to take our place.

Lost your courage already, heh?

But you swore to pay him back.

Come on, cheri.

No, let's get a nice one for her.

I'll call Jacques.

Is your husband light or dark?

He's dark.

Okay, then we'd better get you a blond.

The baby doctor.

No, that one smacks you around while he's at it.

And he never pays up, either.

But she's just out for revenge.

She could go for free. Oh, no, you don't!

That would wreck the market!

Make them pay, and through the nose!

Whatever she gets, she's got to frame it...

And put it on the mantelpiece.

And then her husband never forgets it.

No, she should leave him in the dark.

One day, you tell him you made it with another man.

The day after, you deny the whole thing, understand?

And he'll follow you around like a little dog...

Because he isn't sure.

That's the way they all are.

And women are worse.

There is one poor girl I know who keeps her man in clover...

And the doctors have even told her he's a mental case.

But he feels like a god...

Because she's working for him...

And he takes care of her wine 3 day...

And she even went out and bought him an air conditioner.

Who is this poor idiot?

It's me!

I'll lend you one of my regulars.

He's a nice one.

I'll set it up for you.

Don't forget your husband.

When you saw him all wrapped up in your bed, kissing your friend.

She's not my friend!

She's a cheap whore!

Good! Keep it up!

Even if you insult the business.

I like her like this. Tough.

Come on! Hurry!

Don't be afraid.

Remember to tell him this poor girl's problem, jeannine.

Why? Is she underage or something?

This is a sweet revenge for all of us.

Take a picture of it, then tell your husband...

To stick that one in the family album.

Judge, this nice lady wants to take my place one time.

That is, if you don't mind.

You don't mind a little change, do you, judge?

Now I can go back to work a little happier.

He's naked!

He's driving that car absolutely bone naked!

Not a stitch on!

But, listen, the judge is a very busy man.

Well, there it is, girls.

She's an amateur.

You got a big mouth and no guts.

I want to go home!

Good. You go home to your little cheating man.

Hey, the law! Police!

Come on. Hurry up.

Maybe it's better if I have someone take you home.

No, it's not very far.

But if the cops grab you, you'll go in for the night.

All right.

Thank you very much.

If you change your mind again, I'll be here.

I can always give you a hand. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You know, it really gets me...

That you are going to let him get away with it.

No, but I'm going to leave him!

I really am! I'm going home now...

And I'm gonna pack my bags...

And then I stay in a hotel room tonight...

And, tomorrow, I pick up my children.

I'm really going to leave him.

I heard that before.

Come on.

That's my air conditioner man.

He wanted a sports car, too.

Take my friend home, didi.

I'll tell you about it later.

Okay, get in.

Hey, judge!

I don't want to know your story, honey.

But someone like you, with class...

If you got together with someone who knows the ropes...

And who pays off every morning when your shift is done...

You could get yourself a fur coat and a silver tea set in a month.

Don't you want a silver tea set?

I already have one.

You could stick the money in your shoe.

Got to think of that old age.

You do think about your old age?

Yes, I think about it.

Stop! Stop!

Thank you, didi.

Well, you jumped right in the cesspool!

Open your eyes.

Speak to me, my darling!

Speak to me!

Oh, mama Mia, that hurts.

My precious sweetheart! Oh, mama Mia, that hurts.

Oh, my darling love!

Oh, my precious baby, cuddly pumpkin!

The light of my life!

Oh, the gold of my dreams!

Oh, daddy bear!

I'm sure you're the young lady that's been speaking...

Such beautiful english into my earphones.

Am I right?

I knew that voice could only come from someone looking like you.

And, well, I wanted to thank you.

You're welcome.

I mean, you don't just translate.

Your voice, well, sings it.

It's like music.

Miss interpreter... excuse me.

I need your help to speak...

To one of our Japanese colleagues over there...

If I'm not disturbing you.

With your permission then.

You english devils.


Thank you, young lady...

But, unfortunately, we won't need your services...

Because I know the Italian language.

I was in Rome in 1942, '52, '62, and last week.

Very well then, gentlemen. With your permission.

Now, would you be so good as to express the admiration...

Of Dr. mccormick for the pyramids...

The Suez canal, the desert, everything?

“The words of my colleague are of exquisite beauty."

"Especially as it is from your lips that they fall"...

That is to say, my lips.

"It would give me the greatest pleasure”...

"If you would spend the evening with me"...

"And possibly all night, too."

Miss! Miss interpreter!

May I call you by your first name?

Why not? Thank you.

I could live my whole life through, top of a mountain...

Just calling you Linda.

On top of a mountain?

On top of a mountain, yes.

Your whole life through.

My whole life through.

Just saying my name.

Just saying your name.


Bob's the only man who never lies.

You live alone?

I live with Bob.

He's in Calcutta now.

I can just imagine your wee house.

I see it all.


It's white.

White, with lots of flowers, paintings, chairs.

Go on.

Lamp shades.

And a bed.

That's what you were thinking of, wasn't it?

A bed?

I was thinking of a chest of drawers.

Believe me.

From the moment I saw you...

You only exist for me from here to here.

Where would I ever find another man like Bob?

A man who could discuss sartre, the greats of literature...

Sculpture, painting...

Read poetry aloud...

Calmly and serenely...

While I'm nude?


"Like a patient etherized upon a table...

"Let us go through certain half-deserted streets...

"The muttering retreats of restless nights...

“In one-night cheap hotels...

"And sawdust restaurants with oyster shells."

"Streets that follow like a tedious argument..."

"Of insidious intent..."

"To lead you to an overwhelming question."

What a beautiful atmosphere we've created here.



As far as I'm concerned...

You can go on till dawn.


Victory of the spirit over the flesh!

Well put. Very, very well put.

I feel like a hermit...

High in a tower above the world...

Beyond sex.

That's it!

That's it, it, it!

We're angels!

Come up here with me, you two.

Come up here with me.

Gentlemen! Your shoes!

Would you like a sandwich?

An apple, nuts and honey?


Whiskey? A little soda?

No, plain water's fine for me.

Bob's way up there.

He lives in the clouds.

He's an airline steward.

Listen, cenci, two of us is one too many.

Yes, you.

Would you like a slice of lemon in your water?


Well? Heads or tails?

What about a wee bit of arm wrestlin'?



Ready? Ready.

We're just playin' around.

Even post-war informal art is out of date.

Way out of date.

Notice how art continues to move ahead.

The world should leap forward also...

With its traditions and morals.

I wish this night would never end.

It's wonderful.

Once again, my bed has become the arcade in Athens...

A sacred place of thought.

What would you two be willing to do for me?

I'll marry you.

Aye, I'll get a divorce and marry you.

Big deal. In your country, you can't get a divorce.

If Linda asks me to throw myself out the window...

I'll do it.





Morally, I'm already down there...

Smeared out on the asphalt like a bat.

But afterwards, this one will take advantage of it...

And that's not fair.

Now, here we have Allen Jones.

Now, there's the feeling of the times, of today.

All right, which one did it?

Which one touched me?

I'm as still as a statue!

Ants could even crawl on me!

Well, I was fallin' asleep!

It's a disgrace!

You ought to be ashamed!

You have sent a dream up in smoke...

Destroyed a spiritual relationship.

A friendship, reverting to the age of the caveman.

Look at you! Look at you insensitive mummies!

And we wonder why there are still wars?

And in front of two creatures the likes of you...

I don't even have the courage to show myself as god made me.

The hypocrisy returns to suffocate us.

It was this. It moved by itself.

I lost control of it, and I thought...

"I can't let an innocent person suffer."

That redeems you, mccormick.

You're a man.

I deserve more than he does.

I had to hold back this hand for over an hour...

And that's a tremendous effort for a mediterranean.

I felt my heart pounding and my blood coursing.

I heard the voices crying inside of me, too...

And I had to keep my mouth shut tight...

Or else a roar would have come out!

Go on.

Slap me one, mccormick.

Slap me one! Let me have it!

Come on! I...

Slap Mel I'll just turn my other cheek!

Give it! Give it to me like that!

I deserve it.

I wished you would break your leg when we were coming up the stairs...

And then, as the ambulance took you away...

She and I, left all alone...

Come on, slap me!

Come on, mccormick! Give it...

Now you'll have to hit me back, cenci.

I saw you dead.

Dead and gone...

A sheet pulled over you there on the sofa.

Why, you hadn't even stopped twitchin' when I jumped on her.

I kissed her. I kissed her a hundred times.

I drove her out of her mind with kisses!

But I wrapped myself around her like a python!

I cracked every bone in her body!

I bit her here!

Forgive me, Linda.

I adored her.

I feasted on her!

I devoured her!

I drank her! I scratched her! I ripped her!

I hit her! I insulted her!

I exalted her! I thrilled her!

I manhandled her!

I tied her in knots!

I played arpeggios on her!

And other things I can't even start to talk about!

I came to say good night, rik.

Good night.

Is there anything I can get for you?

No, thanks, dear.

Wait a minute.

Listen to this.

"Set aglow by the wind..."

"Simone radiates a wild vitality.”

“He says, don't move.

“Stay as you are through all eternity.

"Simone, on a sudden, unpredictable caprice..."

"Does a front flip..."

"And disappears among the buttercups..."

"Her hair flying in the wind."



Didn't she have braids yesterday?

Yesterday. That was yesterday.

You must realize by now that Simone is a fantastic woman.

When she should laugh, she cries.

When she should cry, she laughs.

This woman is everything.




One moment, dancing gaily on a mountaintop...

And the next moment, plunged into the depths of despair.

You all right, darling?

Yes, I'm all right. Go on.

You see, by chapter eleven, Ivan has become dirt under her feet.

She dances all over him...

Like a harem girl on a leopard skin rug.

"Simone, whose moods change as frequently as an April sky."

Dressed all in white, she is virgin, pure, superior...

Flitting from place to place...

Insubstantial as thistle down...

Intangible as a summer's breeze.

Then suddenly sparkling like the snow.

In green, jealous, a sorceress...

Full of artifice and cunning, sadistic...

Capable of incredible meanness and cruelty.

A bengal tiger, forever on the prowl.

But in blue.

Ah, in blue.

A challenge to every male...

Insistent, irresistible, and forever laughing, laughing.

The wonderful thing about Simone is that she's always new...

Always original...

Always exciting...

Always everything!


I read your husband's story this week.

It's fantastic!

He's absolutely genius.

Thank you.

Where does he find all these extraordinary women?

They are so crazy, so unexpected.

You know, my husband, last month...

He went wild over that cute little nympho.

You remember?

The one who came into the living room and yelled...

What did he call her? Lulu.

Lulu, that's it.

Where does he find these women?

Who are they?

I don't know, but they're not me.

That's for certain.

No, of course not.

I was talking about that with the girls.

No, you're so good, so thrifty, so sensitive.

Well, tell your husband we just love him...

And give him a big kiss for me.

If you are not jealous, of course.

Course not.


Madame, I want a raise.

I can't go on like this.

I have to do everything round here.

Just the coffee alone...

Sometimes I make as many as twenty pots a day.

And those dogs of his, can they eat.

If I go, you're gonna be all on your own.

And the way things are today, you'll never get anybody else like me.

You'll have to do it all by yourself...

And I don't know how you'll manage.

You're such a little thing.

Madame, I'm serious!

These things are important!

Why should we only laugh at the unimportant, trivial things?

Not me.

I laugh when things get serious.

I laugh when they're important.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna make the last chapter one long kiss.

The whole chapter...

A thirty-page kiss.

The whole...? Mm-hmm.

He kisses her here, here, here, and here...

Brushes her with his lips.

He bites her. He licks her with his tongue.

And the whole time, he's crying, see?

All the time he's kissing her, he's crying...

With joy.

It's a great idea, that.

Kissing and crying at the same time.

Hey, look. Look at that girl.

Her thighs are exactly what I imagine for Simone.

Now watch.

Watch how she moves.

I must go to normandy.

That's the setting I need.

All those rocks along the coast, and...

And the dolphin and the albatross.

Albatross in normandy?

Of course.

Well, maybe not.

But the point is, that's where you find...

All those beautiful, wonderful girls...

Like Simone.

You see, one minute you're talking to her...

And then the next minute, she turns around...

And dives 150 feet into the ocean below...

And disappears over the horizon towards America...

Towards adventure and love.

Towards the still uncharted frontiers of the busy new world.

Towards a sensual reconquest of life.

That's beautiful.

Can we talk a little bit, rik?

Of course, darling.

What about?

Whatever you'd like.


Why not?

You like them?

Are you smoking, Edith?

Yes, I...

I wanted to begin today.

Exactly a year from the day we were married.

Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry.

I forgot.

Of course, we'll have a celebration.

What would you like? Ice cream?

I want champagne!

To you, darling.

To your success...

And to the success of Simone.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

What time is it, dear?

Eight o'clock!

I've gotta get down to work.

New ideas, new ideas.

Lots of them.

I had one last night.

Simone comes to visit some of her friends...

And they're at the dining room table.

She rides into the dining room on horseback...

And you know how?


Get me a cup of coffee, dear.

Do you want your eggs poached or fried?

No eggs, just toast.

Just a piece of toast, yes, just a piece of toast, yes.

Butter and/or jam?

No jam.

Why are you singing instead of talking?

I love to sing, I love to sing.

It may go on all day.

Marianne, marianne.

Coffee and buttered toast for my husband.

Right away, right away.

Right away.

Thank you, thank you.

Who is it?

It's me.

Are you ready for dinner, darling?

Yes, let's eat.

Are you hungry?


We feeling okay?


By the way, I'm gonna pay a little visit to the doctor tomorrow.

Why? Are you sick?

No. It's just a good time to go.

You see, I finished Simone out there on the stairs.

How does it end?

Oh, she flies away.

She flies?

She flies. How stupendous.

Say, why don't you come along?

We're waiting.

The master's waiting.

Say, that's a great idea.

You come along and keep me company...

And then, since you're already there...

He can take a little peek at you, too.

After all, we have to keep ourselves in the pink, don't we?

Do you know how many different kinds of germs there are?


Come with me, huh?

Me? Darling, I'm not afraid of germs.

I like to live dangerously.

You admire that, don't you?

Yes, of course.

Who the hell is that?

Are you surprised?

I know it's crazy, but just for one night.

You're not angry, are you?

No, of course not.

It's a very funny idea...

For one night.

And then tomorrow, we'll trade him in for a Filipino.

Well, just this morning, she showed up with a knife that big.

I don't mind telling you, it shook me.

Then she twirled around and cut off both the candles...

Then burst out laughing.

Tell me, what does it mean, doc?

Don't call me doctor.

Remember, tonight, I am not a doctor.

I'm your lawyer.

Well, now, psychologically speaking, as a preliminary diagnosis...

Your wife did strike me as being a little excited, somewhat strange.

Nothing out of the ordinary, mind you.

Nothing for you to worry about.

But I do worry.

You see, she was always so sweet, so affectionate.

And now, you know, it's my career.

A writer needs peace and quiet.

I must create.


Oh, my god!

Are you hurt?!

It's nothing! Nothing!

Your wife's very young for her age, isn't she?

Yes, like a little girl.

You see, it was nothing.

It's just a vase.

I'll get you a drink.

I'm so happy!

He said I was like a little girl.

She'll need intensive treatment over a long period.

Will that take care of it, doctor?

Lawyer. Sorry.

Marianne, is it true?

Am I really like a little girl.

Yes, madame.

That's just what you are, a little girl.

So, did our little girl hurt herself?

No, it's nothing, really. It's nothing.

Actually, a good bruise would look nice on me.

Flatter me, go with my eyes.

Well, let's have a look, shall we?

Oh, yes, just a slight contusion.

Be all better tomorrow.

Follow my finger with your eyes.

Do as the doctor says, dear.


Lawyer, lawyer.

Look how well I do this.

Better than anyone.

Now you fry.

Hold out your arm.

Your arm.

Your arm. It doesn't hurt a bit.

Hold out your arm.

Come along. Hold out your arm...

Then it'll all be over.

Come along.

Keep calm! Edith!

Keep calm! Get her!

Come back!

Come back!

Stay where you are, madame.

I'm coming.

Stay there.

I'm not crazy!

I'm just in love!

"Dream gown out of the thousand and one nights..."

"Created exclusively for the noted madame lisiere."

"She will wear this elegant original to the gala reopening of the opera."

The liars! The thieves! This is mine!

This is an original created just for me!

It's mine!

I'll sue them for this!

They'll go to jail for this!

Call my chauffeur!

Get these things out of my hair!

Right away, madame! Please sit down.

I won't sit down!

Get these things... Move or I'll call my...

I'll ruin you, féval! I'll wipe you out!

You'll be walkin' around in rags and begging!

My husband will destroy you.

He'll destroy you, and he's got the power, you know.

It's not my fault, madame Dubois! They stole my design!

You shouldn't let them steal your designs, féval...

Especially when a client pays over 4 or 5,000 for one!

Madame Dubois, look at me!

I beg you! Can't you see? I'm innocent!

I look at you, and I see an idiot!

Well, I'm afraid I don't share your opinion on that, madame.

All right, féval, then you stop that lisiere woman...

From wearing that gown tonight!

Have them confiscate it!

Get an injunction against it!

You need 24 hours to get the law moving.

Well, bribe them!

They move quicker with grease!

Naturally. Without bribing, it takes 48 hours.

The gala is tonight!

Oh, France is just falling apart!

It's disgraceful!

Call the chief magistrate.

I don't know.

Madame lisiere's lover is very vengeful.

Whose isn't?

Call madame lisiere.

Of course, madame.

Certainly, madame.

I'd be only too happy to help out.

I'm sure we can find a way.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, madame lisiere.

You are an angel.

Oh, you're too kind.

It's so fortunate that you have another hundred stunning outfits...

From which to choose.

Everyone knows that you have over 200...

And the prettiest in all Paris.

But this one, I don't know...

I'm fond of this one.

You know, I don't know if it's occurred to you or not...

But with very little alteration...

The two could be made completely different.

Don't you think so, Genevieve?

May I call you Genevieve?

Thank you. Eve.

Now, it would only take a moment...

But, for example, to lift the hem a little, shift the shoulder...

It would give the dress a more simple, pure, straight line.

You go right ahead and do it.

I'll see you later.

Later? Where?

Why at the opera, dear.

You swindled and cheated this company...

Of at least twenty percent of the reserves...

And right into your own pocket!

You can't prove it.

Anybody can make wild accusations.

Bobo! Darling?

Come in here!

I'll tell you, this whole thing stinks!

And I'm going to get it out into the public!

I tell you...


Sound of the old heart attack, gentlemen.

Would you excuse me for a few minutes?

They arrest some poor old woman on the street for stealing an apple...

And they allow that lisiere woman to walk around free!

There ought to be a revolution!

Please, darling, don't yell.

They might hear.

You still own 51 % of this company? Of course, I do.

I'll yell all I want then!

And you better do something!

You just better do something!

That is, of course, unless you're a frightened, yellow chicken.

You seem to forget the war.

The medals I won.

That was then, and that was easy.

But this is now!

Call lisiere.

Speak to lisiere! Call him!

My wife is perfectly right. Absolutely right.

No, she cannot possibly change her mind.

I'll send my seconds over with a challenge.

Sending his seconds over.

And I'll kill you on the market, too!

He's going to kill me on the market.


He's laughing.

Then you laugh, too.

Laugh! Laugh!

I've got a meeting going on in there.

If I don't get back, they'll tear me apart.

I'll give you some of the smartest boys in the company.

They'll work something out.

I can go to madame lisiere.

I persuade the world to buy our products.

Nossereau, promotion and sales.

And I might add that we've had a 30% rise so far this year.

Crosnier, personnel.

We could call madame lisiere and tell her that her grandmother...

Has just died.

You'll have to do better than that.

Her mother?

You don't know very much about women, do you?

I have an idea.

I'm demme of research and ideas.


A bomb.

Oh, darling, sweetheart, treasure, mama's baby.

Don't cry, don't cry.

Not the hair! Not the hair, Pierre!

No, look, Pierre! Look at bibo the bear.

Look at the growly old bear.

The growly old bear!

Take over, Nicole.

You are the most beautiful creature in the world.

Yes, dearest.

Fix this for me, will you?

Sorry it got so late.

Hell of a battle.

I won, of course.

And how about your man, Moreau?

Did he come through all right? He's still with us.

Just a paralyzed leg, that's all.

You know your man demme?

He's quite fantastic, really.

I believe he deserves a raise.

Demme. He's one of the little men.

They do produce, even if they don't get much.

Did he fix your problem?

Yes. He was quite helpful.

I'll tell you all about it later.


I'm afraid the baby wants you, madame.

Do bibo the bear, dear.

Bibo the bear.

I've already tried that, madame.

All right, then sing the international workers anthem.

I told you!

I will not hear that song in my house!

I'll fire you!

It was the nurse you had before me who got him into the habit.

Dear, it's the only thing that will put the child to sleep.

Now, don't you worry.

He'll grow up and forget all about it.

Come along. Hurry.

We haven't much time, you know.

Come along. Move your lazy bottom.


Ah, demme.

Fine. Thank you.


Now, we'll come by on our way to the opera.

Right at pologne, first little side street on the left.

Now, demme, give a yell every now and then.

Better yet, give an owl's hoot.

That way, we'll be sure to find you.

What do you mean, you don't know how to do it?

Well, then give a wolf call.


Yes, that's it. Now perhaps a bit younger.

Good. Now, we'll see you in about fifteen minutes.

Of course it should blow after we've gone on!

Yes, demme. Yes, yes, yes. Goodbye.

What should blow after we've gone on?

Don't go thinking it's an h-bomb or anything like that.

You must be out of your mind.

I don't want to go to prison for this.

I'll fire that demme so fast!

You have never taken a risk for me, ever!

Except with your money.

Only with your lousy money.

You are...

And you have no class. None whatsoever.

Stop this car, Paul. I'm leaving.

It's finished between us.

Eve, where are you going?! Away!

Do you want to ruin me?

I only want you to be a man!


It's demme!

Good evening, madame. Good evening, chief.

Demme, what size bomb are we talking about?

Just a teeny-weeny one...

Wired into the ignition on their car.

It's smaller than the one you had me plant on beauveaux in '58.

But this time, I don't want anybody put away.

No, just some smoke, noise, and instant terror.

Doesn't weigh more than ten ounces.

Wouldn't fifteen be better?

Madame, that much could blow them apart.

How about twelve and a half?

And who are they going to suspect?

Don't worry about it.

They'll blame it all on the unions.

Now! Here they come!

The car. In the car. Let's get back quick.

That wouldn't be very clever.

Remember, we haven't seen each other tonight.

As you wish, sir.


Hello. How are you?

Good evening.

Shut up!

Are you afraid? No.

I'm very happy.

You want to get undressed?

Later, later.

My dumb husband!

Have you ever heard such junk?

You want to be first?

This is Fred and Marie.

We're committing this supreme act...

Supreme act?

That's overdoing it a little bit.

Supreme act?

Yeah, maybe so, but what should I call it?

How should I put it?

We're killing ourselves.

We're killing ourselves in full possession of our faculties.

And don't go make the usual noise...

About psychosis and nervous breakdowns...

Just to avoid the responsibility.

We're calm, we're cool...

And we're collected. Right, Fred?

Speak up. Say it loud.


And this is no funeral ceremony, either.

It's a celebration.

A hymn to life, a glorious hymn to life.

What does that mean, a hymn to life?

It's not life we're against.

Life is beautiful.

It's mankind that's disgusting.

You're disgusting!

You wanted to see us humiliated...

On our hands and knees crying!

Well, I'll tell you, we're not crying.

We're laughing, and we're laughing in your ugly face!

To my husband...

I don't have nothing to say to you.

But I can't even hate you, you're such a stupid jerk.

When we were first married, you weighed 150 pounds.

Inside of two years, you zoomed up to over 200.

Without regrets, goodbye.

To your wife.

I don't know how to talk.

You don't have to make a speech or anything like that.

Go on.

Go on.

Listen, Juliet?

I can't take it anymore!

Try and forgive me.


Forgive?! Are you crazy?!

She's a poor old lady.

Did you hear that? You're old!

The only reason you ever got anybody to marry you in the first place...

Is you had money.

You could be his mother.

His grandmother.

And look what you did to him.

Look what you did to him. He's a nothin'.

He never worked, he never learned anything.

A nothin'.

I'm just a gigolo!

You and your... false teeth.

Talk louder. She can't hear too well.

You and your false teeth!

And you're deaf, too!

That should take care of her.

To the world!

Everybody! And I mean everybody!

You're rotten, motherless garbage!

Now stick that in your hat.

You have the lives of two good people on your conscience.

Sure as hell don't want 'em to hear me cry!

Want a coke? Sure.

Two Coca-colas.

With ice.

Two Coca-colas with ice.

Room 54.

You know what I was thinking?

Be better if they found us naked.

Oh, no.

That'd ruin the most beautiful part.

We have to make sure they find us...

Looking like a wedding celebration.

I only brought this along to please you.

It's too tight for me.

There's a button missing.

Couldn't your wife have at least sewn on a button?

She doesn't see very well.

That, too?

Where'd you get that?

My wife's first husband was a general.

I was thinking.

I was thinking of pills.

No, I never took a pill in my whole life.

Never a pill, never a tablet.

They make me sick to my stomach.

I always use suppositories.

I can just see the headlines now.

"They did it with suppositories.”

I got it.

I'll take it. I got it.

Wait there.

You got any change?

Give it all to him.


Keep it.

What do I care?

It's just, I didn't want to be found without a cent.

You know what a fuss they make.


Haven't got any loot...

They stomp all over you.

They even do experiments on you.

Well, they better not touch us.

I'm gonna put that on tape like a last testament.

I want to be cremated...

I want my ashes scattered over the sea...

And damn anybody who touches me.

I don't want any experiments.

But if they need an organ...

For a sick person.

Now we go over to our reporter...

To hear a commentary on the last stage...

Of the world's greatest cycle race...

The tour de France.

We go over as britain's Tommy Simpson...

Frenchman anquetil, and the Italian...

Even for any enemy.

I have a better idea.

My wife has kidney trouble.

Juliet, I leave you a kidney.

You're a Saint, you know that?

It's the tour. They're coming in.

What do we care?


And here comes the car!

And the riders now 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7!

Here they are, all of them...

Passing behind the stands just behind us.

Poulidor leading with six on his left side!

Approaching the end, a sharp bend!


If there's anything else you have to say...

Anything to tell me, go ahead.

There's nothing, darling.

Then we're really as one.

Truly united souls in all.

You know, there's something we haven't spoken...

About yet.


Technically speaking, what do I do?

You don't have to do anything.

I do it.


How do you do it?

There's a certain procedure.

There's a certain way of doing these things.

The man takes the responsibility.

What's that?

I shoot.


You... and then me right afterwards.

And if, by chance, right afterwards, you change your mind?

I don't know, you're sorry, or you faint or somethin'.

You want to do it? Go ahead.

You don't know how!

You get me like this...

And I'm paralyzed for life.


I would have liked a way we could go together.

Sorry if you misunderstood me.

We could throw ourselves out of the window...

Wrapped in each other's arms.

You made me put on a tuxedo...

To go smashing into a sidewalk?

There are a lot of other ways.

The sea, for example.

Haven't got enough money to get there.

There's always the pills.

Please don't talk about pills!

What the hell should I talk about?!

You want to know something?

Want me to tell you the truth?

You don't love me.

If you did, you would be proud and happy...

For me to end your life!

As it is, all you think is that I'm a coward!

Worse! A murderer, now that it's convenient for you!

And what is that supposed to mean?!

I was ready to go through with this comedy!

What a joke!

Now I get the story about your poor, sick stomach!

You were afraid you wouldn't be safe with the pills!

That's a lousy insinuation!

Now I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen!

Nobody gets out of this room alive!

They're gonna find us stretched out on the floor...

If I gotta take those damn pills!

You got that?!

Does it look like I'm joking now?!


Nobody gets out of here alive!

Fred, my darling, my love.

Oh, my dearest, my darling.

It's tremendous.

It's tremendous we were able to suspect each other.

It's over. The nightmare's over.

We're back to where we were before.

No, it's better.

It's better than it was before.

This rotten world doesn't deserve us!

Look at your face.

I want to be pretty when they find us.

Let me go into the bathroom for a second.

Whatever happens...


You're everything to me.




He's following us.

He's still back there.

Some of these guys are real romantics.

You have to help them out a little.

Encourage them.

Otherwise, they just waste your time.

But, you know...

This one's been hanging on for almost an hour.

Oh, I know his type.

Just content looking around, to follow along and look.

They dream all over your legs.

And in the summer, when there is more showing...

They use the rest of you.

Stop talking like that...

Or I'm not going shopping with you anymore.

He's being so careful about it.

He must be very shy or something.

Like you.

I'm not shy.

Not much, you're not.

You've never even cheated on your husband.

I've never found anybody better than my husband.

That coats seen better days.

Still, he's got that little lost boy look working for him.

Not bad at all.

Look, he's getting a ticket...

And all because he tried to keep up with us.

Maybe he can't afford it.

Well, we'll just have to reimburse him for expenses then.

Don't laugh.

Oh, relax.

He hasn't got the faintest idea we've seen him.

Let's double back.

We'll surprise him.

I want to take a good look at this guy up close.

Come on.

Okay, but don't laugh or anything.


I saw him peeking at you.

I'm sure he's after you.

Or both of us, if he's modern.

There he is.

If he doesn't make his move, he never will.

Maybe he hasn't got the money for a cup of coffee.

Or even a match.

This one probably writes poetry.

Maybe he'll even get pneumonia and die.

You go to the right, I go to the left.

That way, we'll find out who he's after.

I can't do that.

I'm gonna take a cab and go home.

Oh, come on. Let's try it.

Come on. It will be a kick.

Afterwards, we'll call, and the winner will tell everything.

But everything, okay?

All right.


Please, madame, our drills are the best in the world.

Please come in.

You'll find that we have the finest selection of drills...

In the whole city of Paris.

Come in, madame.

Come in and take a closer look.

The one you were looking at is the best drill in the shop.

And remember now, if you need it...

It has a tension adjuster, too.

Thank you. Goodbye. Thank you.

Madame bonet is even more beautiful in the snow.

Thank you.


Oh, hi, Victor.

I'll be right there.

I'm just gonna change my shoes.

Well, kiss me, please.

Excuse me.

Just for you.

Just for my hubby.

I'll be right there.

What the hell am I supposed to do with a thing like this?

I don't know, darling.

I just wanted to bring you a present.

It's made in Sweden.

It even has a tension adjuster.

You're home late today.

I did so many things today.

The champs-elysées with claudie...

And then we had tea at the cafe du rond point.

After, I walked along the rue blanche...

And then I found your drill...

At a nice little shop in the rue de sévres.

And then I walked home all by myself in the beautiful snowflakes.

The must be claudie.

Oh, yes. He's here.

It's for you.

Who? Oh, it's you.

Yes, you can talk.

Champs-elysées, yes...

With a dark-haired woman.

Yes, I know her. She's a friend.

Go ahead. You said rue blanche.

And tool shop, rue de sevres.

Let me tell you what she bought.

A nice electric drill.

For me, yes.

Yes, exactly.

It agrees exactly with what she told me just now.

Thank you.

I'll come by the office tomorrow for the bill.

Yes, thank you.


How beautiful.

Snow excites me so.

You know, Jean, I didn't even thank you for the drill.

You are astonishing and adorable.

Couple of minutes ago, I asked you...

What I was supposed to do with it.

Well, I am so happy, I am going to drill holes.

That's right. I am going to drill all kinds of holes.

I am going to fill the house with holes.

The idea that it's your gift, while I'm doing it...

Will make me the happiest driller in the world.

I love you.

I am so happy.

Remember how jealous I used to be?

I was crazy with it.


Forgive me, Jean.