Wrestling Ernest Hemingway (1993) Script

11 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,553 what do you want, Cooney?

I got this package for you..

Joyce, you better put on some clothes, or I’ll call the cops. oh, I’ll put something on when you fix the Goddamn air conditioner. you just going to stand in front of me? say what you got to say. it's Goddamn hot in there, and I ain’t going back for clothes.

say, Cooney, it's kind of nice out.

I think I’ll leave it out. this is for you. what is it? how should I know? it came to the office. it's from my son!

Frank? yeah?

I’ve been easy on you up till now. that's 'cause you're new, but not anymore. put on some clothes and get your address straight, cause I’m not u.p.s. hey, Cooney!

Cooney, I was expecting a letter! all I got was that box. it's for my birthday. let's hope it's a pair of pajamas.

good morning, Walt. good morning, Elaine.

I would like to have six pieces of bacon and four slices of toast, please, and a small juice.

I know, Walt, and you know what I’m going to say.

I know. bacon's not so good for me, but I like to make sandwiches with the bread. it's good that way. it might be good that way, but it's not good for you.

but you want it anyway, right? yes. all right. there is a dance at the oriole's lodge on the 21st of July, and there is a band, too, coming down from Jacksonville.

it has five members, and... hmm...

I heard they have very good dancers there and...

he's still here? um...yeah.

I know he is, Ryan.

I’m looking right at him. that was a rhetorical question. he's been here since nine. has he bought anything? well, he asked for Following the Equator.

I ordered it for him. it'll be about three weeks. is he planning on waiting here?

I don’t know. that was another rhetorical question. um, I did show him the Hemingway section. it's the damn air conditioning. these old bastards have nothing to do all day. this isn't a library. get rid of him. well, what do you want me to say?

I don’t care. just make sure you get the postage on that book. he's already paid for it. good. get him out of here.

I’ll take that.

um, excuse me, Sir?

Sir, excuse me. the manager says you've been here all day. yeah. I managed to locate the Hemingway. oh... um... well, uh... the manager says you've been here too long.

I got into a wrestling match with him once, you know. you wrestled my manager?

you wrestled Ernest Hemingway?

I truly did. well, did you win? well, it was 1938...

Puerto Rico.

I was the youngest captain on the Caribbean.

Ryan! 20 years old-- if you're not buying that book, I’ll have to ask you to leave. what time is it? it's almost 11:00. you've been here two hours. oh, well, then, I’ve got someplace to be. can you hold? no, Sir. I don’t think so. we're receiving heavy mortar fire on our right flank. all right.

Jim, let's get some mortar fire... heavy mortars. target aerial, 4807-item.

Mack! what happened?

I’m going on over to fox company. there goes the bravest man I ever seen. let's go, fellas!

you haven't mentioned my new cap, Georgia.

I hadn’t noticed, Francis. those speakers sounded better yesterday. hmm. this old theater is just like me. we're both falling apart. you look all right to me. you know my boy, he's taking me to Fort Lauderdale for the weekend. you know, to watch the fireworks and what-have-you. he sent me this hat for my birthday. actually, it's not till tomorrow. actually, July 3rd. that's when he's coming to get me. the reason I like it, you see, it's got this extra deluxe feature. keeps the sun off your neck.

Georgia. what's the big idea, Francis? it's a real dog day today. how about a double feature? two movies for the price of one. it can't be bad. you're going to get in trouble. who's going to catch me? the runt? come on. it's hotter than hell out there. besides, you haven't got a hat to keep the sun away. well, it's a fine cap, Frank, but a gentleman wouldn't wear it indoors.

I’m as gentle as they come, lady.

22! yeah! come on! come on, kid. come on. ball 4. take your base. hoo.

here we go, Henry. remember what I told you. choke up. bat at 40 degrees at all times. here we go. that's it. pick out a pitch. strike! ooh.

Henry, Henry, look at me. eye on the ball, concentration, and follow through. now step in there. cock that bat back there. that's it. eye on the ball. strike 2. go red, go. please. please. don't swing at anything. don't let him intimidate you. pick a nice pitch and relax in there. be mean up there. that's it, baby. strike 3. that's the ballgame! whoo! yeow!

pizza! bring the twins.

what the hell are you doing? it occurred to me... that walking forward strengthens the front of the leg, but it neglects the back. so... see these fellas bent over at the waist? not me! straight as a soldier! your son called. he called the office. you got to get a phone, Joyce.

I’m not a secretary. you ought to get yourself a husband. you wouldn't be so mean.

I had a husband. that's how I got this way. what'd he say? he won't be coming tomorrow. something about his job.

that ain't the right message. he said he was sorry. he was supposed to send me a letter.

I know nothing about this calling business. just telling you what he told me.

when he moved me into this shithole, he said-- he told me-- he promised! he promised that he would take me south for the fireworks. don't insult my place.

well, I guess...

I guess he's...

I guess he's busy. his wife and... he's got a damn important job. you know, they... they keep him working through the holidays.

I mean, you understand. yeah.

I understand.

it was my birthday tomorrow.

well... I got myself a book, a bottle of whiskey.

I think I’ll take 'em both to the park and see which one I can finish first. bet $5.00 on the bottle.

I wouldn't bet against you, Cooney.

that's a nice cap you got there, friend.

thank you, Sir. of course you're putting the back of your neck in danger with a cap like that. now, the one I’m wearing has this deluxe feature, you see, so there's-- there's no risk. you see? there. see? that's what protects the back of your neck from the sun.

I’m talking about the extra brim feature, which I notice your cap does not have.

what do you got there?

I have a bacon sandwich.



I don’t-- I don’t suppose...

I don’t suppose you could get a hat like this around here.

my son and daughter-in-law sent it to me from Fort Lauderdale.

for my birthday.

you have a nice cap, Sir, but I am busy with my work.

how are you today? fine. how are you? oh, I’ve seen better days, darling. most of 'em... from the bow of a boat just like that one.


why aren't you in school today? it's summertime. oh, well... you got yourself the right idea, hanging around the water. down here, you get yourself a nice breeze.

I’m gonna be in second grade in one month.

you take your time now... because these summer days go slow. but let me tell you, sweetheart, the years fly by.

yeah... they fly by.

* I’m sweet Willy McGee

* settin' sail for the sea

* if you know any ladies

* who want to make babies

* send them on

* to sweet Willy

* McGee

Joyce. what are you doing?

I was sleeping. you fix my air conditioner, lady? you smell like booze. you fix my Goddamn air! you're drunk. now go back to bed.

I can’t breathe up there! stop yelling, or I’ll call the cops.

I’m melting in that room! you'll be fine for the night.

I’ll have it fixed tomorrow. don't walk away from me. don't shut that fuckin' door on me!

I’m melting up there!

I’m dying in that room!

I’m sick.

I mean, I used--

I used to be 6'3".

I ain’t even 6 feet!

I measured myself.

I ain’t even 6 feet! uhh!

* I’m sweet Willy McGee

* settin' sail for the sea *

* happy as any sane feller can be *

* a man fit for sailin'

* my cock's fit for whalin' *

* my balls, they weigh 70 pounds apiece *

* if you know any ladies

* who want to make babies

* send them on

* to sweet Willy

* McGee I remember you, fella. you were sittin' here yesterday. and you were eatin' one of those. heh heh. yes. yes.

you eat one of those every day? no, no. you were eatin' one yesterday, right? yes. and you're eatin' one again today, right? yes. and you're telling me you don't eat one every day? yes. I don’t eat one every day.

I eat two every day. one at 10:00 for my breakfast. one at 2:30 for my lunch.

your wife make 'em for you? no, no, no, no.

Elaine makes them for me at the Sweetwater snack shop. it's across the park, near the pet store.

oh. well, I think I’ll, uh...

I’ll go buy myself a birthday sandwich.

say... do you sit around here all afternoon?

I don’t only sit. I do my puzzles. oh... why don't you buy yourself a fresh sandwich? that one's been in your pocket. no, no, no, no. my pockets are clean. no offense, my friend.

I just thought... well, I just thought you might like to get out of the heat, buy yourself a new sandwich, seeing that you're just sitting around.

I don’t want a new sandwich. oh...whoo! you know, God damn it! a man can melt on a day like this. so...I think I’ll find myself a cool spot and sit myself down.

oye. wait, wait, wait, wait. do you think they would mind if, uh...

I eat this one there? you bought it there, didn't you? yes, of course, i-- well, hell, no, they wouldn't mind. now, if you bought it somewhere else, then maybe they would mind, but not if you bought it there. let's go.

are you from Puerto Rico, friend? no, no. no. I am from Cuba.

I was in Puerto Rico once. had a mix-up with Ernest Hemingway. ever hear of Ernest Hemingway? yes, but I am not from Puerto Rico. i, uh-- well, I was, uh--

1938. I was the youngest sea captain in the Caribbean. come help me. where are you? oh, where are those hash browns? whoops. hold on. who are these people? hey, where you going, pal?

I’m going to my regular seat. but this side here's got the air conditioning, you see.

I’m sure that side's nice, but this side's where I get my sandwiches. a bacon sandwich you can get anywhere. it's a special order. only Elaine can get them. she works on this side.

Bernice works on that side.

Jesus, could have eaten already. hurry, harry. heh heh heh. too late. sorry.

I hope Elaine doesn't see me sitting here.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings. it's my birthday, you know.

I’m 75 years old today. he would have been 75, too. who? old Johnny one-eye... the bald-headed champ. he was a friend of yours? oh, ho ho. my very best. he was a boxer, this Johnny? well, he's down for the count now.

I like boxing, but I like baseball better. oh, there's a team.

I call them the little red guys. you--you--you don't have that problem, pal? which problem? with your cucumber.

I don’t eat cucumbers.

I, uh, always eat these bacon sandwiches.

Elaine says they're no good for me, but-- you answer questions that nobody asks. you're a lot like a woman. what can I get you gentlemen? can I ask you a question, darlin'? would there be anything unusual about me ordering a bacon sandwich? yeah. it's not on the menu. look, I can bring you the bacon and the bread, but you'll have to build the sandwich yourself. that'll be all right. thank you, darlin'. my name's Bernice. see? you can order them anywhere. she didn't say not to eat it. why would she say that?

Elaine always says not to eat them. she says they're no good for me.

Bernice didn't say anything.

Walter's here. he was here this morning. well, he's back. what's he doing on that side?

I have no idea. he's with a real loudmouth. yeah, I captained boats, charters, merchants.

I’ve been to Puerto Rico many times. but I’m not from Puerto Rico. there's an empty table on the other side.

I started sailing when I was 14.

I’ll move.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings. twice in one day? what's the occasion? ooh. hi. it's my birthday. and who are you?

Francis Joyce. how old are you?

I’m 70 years old... today. then you're old enough to know you shouldn't wear a hat inside. this is no ordinary Goddamn hat. that's true. and you. you're breaking my heart sitting in Bernice's section when there's a table open in mine. miss?

hey, you. you should not swear to her. hmm?

I didn’t say a Goddamn thing. you said Goddamn, and you told me you were 75.

I am, for Christ's sakes. you told Elaine you were 70. when I saw her, I felt like I was 70 again.

oh. oh... she's got a great backyard.

I don’t know. I--

I’ve never been to her house.

I’m talking about her ass.

excuse me. where you going? there are seats open in Elaine's section.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings. excuse me.

this seat is occupied. you're damn right it is, and my tired ass is not moving. my friend sits there. is this an imaginary friend? no. she's real. she's just late. she can stand, then. besides, if you're a decent gentleman, you'll give her your seat. hey. hi, Walter. oh, no, no, no. you sit. I can stand. sit. you stand up all day at work.

I sit all day. you should live in Sweetwater, then you won't have to take the bus to work every day. then I wouldn't see you every afternoon.

so who's your friend? friend? oh, no, no.

I o-only met him in the park.

I think he had slept there all night.

I’ve never seen you in there with anybody else before. that's too much eating alone. that's almost as bad for you as those sandwiches. he wanted to know a good place to eat, so I told him the Sweetwater snack shop has the best food. you've only had one thing there, Walter. it's not even on the menu.

I told him anyway for good business for you, see?

O.K. thank you. oh, he's 75. he told you he was 70. he's 75. he knows you for only one minute, and already he's saying one lie and one curse. and...he's... some guys swear all the time. there was a man at the oriole's lodge. he swore so much. for two weeks, I didn’t know he was speaking english.

I never heard those words before. never. have you ever been to the oriole's lodge?

I didn’t think they allowed women there. no, no. women can come on certain nights. really? yeah, for dances. yes, yes, yes. they have them once a year, those dances, for summer. they're very nice I heard. yes, and they have a dinner, decorations, and, uh... blue napkins, and, uh... sometimes a band comes down from Jacksonville. yeah. it's O.K. yes, yes. it sounds nice. yeah. oh, yes.

thanks, Earl. have a good evening, Elaine. bye, Earl. watch your step, folks.

O.K., end of the line, Walt. we'll see you tomorrow, Walt? see you tomorrow, Earl. all righty.

you smell so good.

I washed my hair for you.

I knew we'd be together, so I...

ahh, I love you, Johnny.

I love you.

I love you so much, I ache inside.

I feel the same way, too, Johnny. feel my heart pounding. mine's the same.

what do you think you're doing, mister?

I’m sitting here next to you... watching the movie. you ask when you want to sit next to a lady. well, can I sit here? yes, you may.

just what do you think you're doing now? you said I could sit here.

I said you could sit here.

I didn’t say you could sit here today. you have to make plans for something like that. you can sit next to me Saturday... for the Early show.

sit somewhere else now.

first you can sit. now you can't sit. come in. now you can't come in. touch me. you can't touch me. it could drive you crazy.

I thought your son was taking you to Fort Lauderdale for the weekend. oh, now you want to talk to me. this would be a lot easier if I was sitting up there.

there's the idea. got to be a lot better than staring at the back of your head. we'll discuss that on Saturday.

hi. afternoon, ma'am.

why the hell are you here?

I’m freezing my ass off.

heh heh heh heh. heh heh heh heh. ooh! brrr! brrr! ooh!

I’ve got something... in here for you, a testament to last night's sobriety. you were really sober last night.

I was sober enough to know I was drunk.

I got you some Guinness, Cooney. good old irish stuff. you know, two old irish dogs should not be barking at each other. that's nice, Joyce, only I ain’t irish. what the hell kind of a name is Cooney if it ain't irish? that husband I had, he was irish. he left.

I got stuck with the name. it's a good name. how long were you married to the guy?

14 years. oh, well, you did your time. you're irish enough. here. no, thanks, Frank.

14 years with him, I got no taste for anything irish. oh... irish... wool? no.

* irish eyes no. irish... whiskey? mmm. one more year, he'd have killed that, too, but he left just in time. ha ha! well, it's a sorry sea captain who's got no irish whiskey. heh heh heh.

I’ll get it, and we'll christen the new air machine.

I stayed with him long enough to raise suspicions that you confirm, Joyce. and what would those be? that the irish are foul-mouthed, lazy bastards who parade around naked. ha ha ha!

we'll call her the s.s. Cooney. oh, that's quite an honor.

I’m not naming her after you.

I’m naming her after that suffering bastard mr. Cooney and the 14 years of hell you put him through.


it's closed.

I can see that. this is bad news.

I thought you was in the park this time of day. they must have closed Early today. well, this is no ordinary day. this is the fourth of July.

I know what today is.

I know.

what am I supposed to do for lunch? well... heh heh heh.

she will be at the fireworks. who?

Elaine. oh. heh heh. you get the fireworks here? no, we don't get the fireworks here, only in Carter Bay, where Elaine lives. she will be there, probably.


I’d like to have seen the fireworks show. mmm. me, too, but they are miles away, even 6, possibly, and there is no bus today. that's too much to walk. ha ha.

I think I might drive. you drive? heh heh heh. sure. hmm.

I wish the bus was working.

I would take it to the fireworks. ho...ha.


you're hungry, huh? yes, I am. but all the restaurants are closed. there is nothing to eat from here to Carter Bay today...

I bet. only this sandwich.

* buenamente te ha fijado *

* como camina la gente

* cuando sales del mercado *

* la mujer de antoñio camina *

* cuando vine de la plaza *

* camínase

* cuando traigas agua

* camínase

* la mujer de antoñio

* camínase

* por la madrugada... you say we were driving, Frank. this is not driving. this is riding. back there you're riding. up front, I’m driving.

I’ve got the steering to worry about. it would be easier if you'd pedal. they're moving too fast.

I’m 80 years old. if you don't start pedaling, I’ll die before we get there! you said you were 75.

I was exaggerating to make a point! now, look... pedal. pedal!

Frank. what? uh... what? do you think we could find a rest room? the next one we see. just pedal for a while, will you? pedal!

I don’t think they have rest rooms out here.

I don’t think they have rest rooms out here, Frank.

I’ll find you a bathroom after we finish the sandwich.


I was a barber.

I cut my own hair. yes. I can tell. say, you look like you got some italian in you. no. I’m not italian. a good haircut makes a man look respectable. my first wife was italian.

I’m not italian.

I was good.

I could make you look like a... gentleman. we met at St. Kitts.

I was 20 years old. her name... was Isabel.

boy... she loved to screw. not just with me. that was part of our problem.


I don’t think about her that much. but she was italian. of course... she's probably dead by now.

God rest her soul. amen. she could use the rest.

Frank? yeah? uh, we just rest for a minute and... maybe find a rest room. hunh. mmm.

I want to get to the fireworks on time. you ain't tired?

I ain’t tired.


Frank! we are missing the fireworks! ha ha ha! oh, how perfectly! ha ha ha ha!

I still need to find the rest room. ha ha ha! we are missing the fireworks. we are missing them. we are missing the fireworks, Frank.

I was 17 the first time I got laid. heh heh heh. it was on a barge sailing to Freeport.

she had to be 40 years old. oh.


I spoke just three words to her.

I told her that--

I told her that I loved her. we should leave now, Frank!

I did love her... for about seven seconds.

I remember.


Walt, sit down with me. no. you trick me to come here, say you had a car, then make me drive a bike. have a drink with me, Walt. you say you find me a rest room. now I’m standing on a rock far away from other people, and I still have to pee, Frank! wait.

O.K., Walt.

I promised I’d find you... a bathroom.

I promised I’d take you to the fireworks. come here. come here.

what do you see out there?

I see some fireworks.

now, Walt...

reach in, take out your pecker, and feed the fish. feed the fish? piss in the ocean. you have to pee, too?

I’m 75 years old. I always have to pee. heh heh heh.


oh! hoo hoo hoo! heh heh.

Walt? can you remember... when this didn't take so long? sometimes I think I’ll fall asleep standing like this, I wait so long. ha ha ha! ha ha ha!

ooh. oh. feeding the fish. ahh. ahh, feeding the fish. oh. oh, yeah. yeah. ahh.

siéntate conmigo. you can speak spanish, yeah? yeah. um... tú eres... una mujer muy... hermosa. heh heh heh.

what else can you say? ah, a few phrases. help me get through some lonely nights. yo quiero desayunar desnudo contigo.

ha ha ha! whoo! whoo! whoo! ha ha ha! you speak very well.

I had a lot of practice.

Frank, that woman you were talking about? you slept with her only after three words? well--well, actually, the words sort of came in the middle. the $4.00 came before.

I’ll tell you all about it, but first... toma un trago... conmigo.

toma un trago... conmigo.

muchas gracias. you're welcome.

now, now, I’ll tell you. first time I saw her-- ha ha ha! her tits were smiling at me across the room. boom! boom! and she looked at me... and I said, "oh..."

let's go! let's go! come on, Mickey!

O.K., now, be aggressive out there, right, kiddo? remember the three as--

Aggressiveness, attitude, ability. go, Sweetwater! yay! hey, batter, batter, batter, batter. hey, batter, batter, batter, batter. here we go.

* he can't hit it anyway! * that's big Henry. he doesn't get so many hits. here we go! lock down! here we go! concentrate! time out! ooh! be tough out there! you all right, son? advance to first base.

O.K., take your base now.

today is the day that we win. look at that crazy hair. what you need is a good haircut. yeah. it's Goddamn hot here. we ought to be out on the ocean. today's the kind of day you want your worm in the water.

I like to go fishing. oh, no. big Henry's too far off base. that's O.K. go on. go ahead. don't worry about him. go back. go back. that's it. now, watch. watch. back, back, back, back! go back! you're out! that's the game! oh.

I don’t believe it. they'll get over it. yee-ha! all right! yeah!

I thought today would be the day for certain. well... one of these days. heh heh. one of these days. you like these games, Walt.

I like baseball. yes.

I saw the New York Yankees play in the world series, 1958.

I came from Cuba to watch.

Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Whitey Ford is on one team. they are famous, even in Cuba.

I want to see them play. they're the greatest team ever--

Yankees, 1958... the best team. the best. you came before the changes? yeah, before. you never went back, huh? while I was here, everything there changed so fast.

I didn’t know my home anymore, so I stayed here and wait for things to be the same there again, but... who is she, Frank? huh? who? oh, that depends on who you ask. my second wife thought it was her. my third wife thought the same. my fourth, a redhead, thought it was my mother. well, the truth is I don’t know who she was or where she came from. woke up one morning, there she was, sort of like my first wife. ha ha ha! how did you get so many wives? how?

aftershave? ha ha ha! hey, Walt, what time is it? ha ha. it is 12:00 and 40 minutes. oh, I’m late for a date.

I’ve got a...

* a lady friend to meet * oh, well, I have a lady friend to meet, too.

what's that smell? that's my aftershave. mmm. do you have a date tonight, Walter? no, no date.

Lord. what is that stink? is that you?

I’m surprised they let you on the bus smelling like that.

I’m surprised you fit through the doors. ha ha ha.



Georgia! aw, come on, Georgia! don't give me the high hat!

you live like in prison, Frank.

you have no record player or television or even a telephone.

just, um, your regular trim, huh?

I don’t want to look like no... pretty boy.

I know what I’m doing. stop moving so much, or I make a mistake... cut off your ear. that's what I told little children, and you're like them, always moving.

I’m used to doing this myself. well, you don't do such a good job.

I was a barber 50 years, and I never heard of a man who cuts his own hair. now you have a good haircut... for at least once in your life. do I look, uh, respectable? mmm.

maybe for you, a haircut is not enough.

you don't even have one picture, not one.

even men in prison, they have pictures.

well, when I was in the service, we had a saying. all a sailor needs is a straight back, strong legs, and a stiff pecker, and every port's his home.

I don’t know what that means. uh, it means a man can wash up anywhere, and he can take care of hisself.

now, stay still, Frank.

I won’t hurt you.

shh shh shh. easy. yeah, yeah.

you spend a lot of time at sea? yeah. when things got hot here, you know, with... my wife and the boy, that's where I’d go.

was it hard to be away from your family? yeah, it was hard. um, not because... not because I was away, but because sometimes, I tell you...

I didn’t want to go back.

I wanted to be alone, and I got my wish.

but, God damn it... my back is still straight, my legs are still strong.



how do I look?

it's so beautiful, Frank.

I wasn't married like you were. no?

I think if I had stayed, I would be married. but, uh... here, I have to start again.

I--I had to learn english, uh...

I had to-- to make my barbershop. uh, before I knew it, I was, uh...

I was an old man, and...ha!

you are naked, Frank. waah! oh! ho ho ho! what are you waiting for? come on in. you're swimming naked. sure. you never went skinny dipping when you were a kid? yes, but I wore a bathing suit. you said we were going fishing.

I hate fishing.

I said we were going to dip our worms in the water.

yo ho ho ho! come on! maybe I can go in my pants. hey, Walt, you know what's in this water? eh? me, a bunch of fish. none of us are wearing pants. come on!

ohh. ohh.

he smacked me on the ass. get out of here. he did. I should have known better than to turn my back on him.

are you nuts? make way! make way! here's the knucklehead now. look at them, Heckle and Jeckle.

I haven't seen them apart in a week. i bet they sleep together. oh, leave them alone.

I miss them more than I miss you. why can I not drive ever? you cannot drive ever because up front you got to pedal and steer. you've just learned how to do the first part. is today the day you two surprise me and order something intelligent?

I thought about what you said.

I really did, but I can’t resist those damn things, so bring us our special ingredients.

you should not swear so much when you speak to her. she's a nice girl. you need a Goddamn hearing aid.

I didn’t say a damn thing. you did. you said one damn and one Goddamn. hmm? if he touches my ass again, I’ll stick a fork in him. better get used to it.

I’ll serve Frank all the bacon he can eat. maybe he'll drop dead.

I thought that red would win yesterday. they were so close. they were doing just fine till big Henry dropped the ball. they will win one of these days. say, they don't play tomorrow, do they? no. it's Friday. good. meet me at the movies tomorrow. the noon show. come on. I got a surprise for you. ohh, I don’t want to see two movies for the price of one anymore. it ain't that. it's a surprise.

I never enjoy the first one.

I’m too nervous about going to the second one for free. just meet me at noon. don't wait outside. buy your ticket.

I’ll meet you in the lobby.

Elaine! hey! what about the Goddamn bacon? you want a ticket for the noon show and another for the 2:00? is that against the rules?

I guess not.

here you go.

your ticket, Sir?

* for I’ll be there

* puttin' down my top hat *

* mussin' up my white tie *

* dancing in my tails how about this suit? it's beautiful. when did you get this job?

I applied for it last week after the haircut.

hey, Walt.

I need your ticket. oh. sorry. got to do my job. can't get caught slacking off the first day.

you see that redhead up front?

she thinks I’m something special.

I’m going to pay her a visit.

now, before you get excited, lady, I’m not just some jerk sitting down beside you.

I’m doing my job. this is one of my responsibilities.

I’ve got to try out each seat.

you look real pretty today, Georgia. what do you think of the suit? it's nice. nice? come on. take another look.

you look very handsome.

I had a shave, you know.

it's real smooth. you want to feel my face?

I believe... we're all alone.


it's, uh, romantic, I think. you just get back onto your side. it's like they're playing the movie just for us. you're a beautiful woman, Georgia. listen, mister! you're a beautiful, beautiful woman. that's enough! oh, come on, Georgia.

Georgia, Georgia. oh! you're acting like a fool, Francis!

where's your pal? he's working. that lout found a job? yes...

'cause I cut his hair. ha ha ha. you should see him. he has some fancy suit. could I get you something to eat, Walt? this is not Elaine's side? yeah, well, Elaine's not here. oh, she is sick? yeah, well, I’d say so. she's marrying a marine. she's getting married? yep. no. yeah, contrary to my advice. she's moving to Pensacola, also contrary to my advice. hmm.

she's working Wednesday lunch, as a favor, if you'd like to say goodbye.

what would you like to eat, Walt? uh, I’m not so hungry. you're not hungry? no. so you came into a restaurant?

maybe you'd like a drink?


a small juice, maybe.

* tú me quieres dejar

* yo no quiero sufrir

* contigo me voy

* aunque me cueste morir *

whoo! whoo! whoo!

yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


Walt! come on in. good morning, Frank. what time is it? it's 11:00. that late, huh? yes. well, I didn’t get much sleep last night. remember that woman in the movies yesterday, the, uh, feisty one? yeah. well, she, uh, she stopped by here late last night with a bottle of wine. to apologize, she said. so I was up most of the night accepting her apology, so to speak. you just missed her.

Frank, I came to ask if you're going to your work today. yeah, 4:00.

I thought maybe I could use your bicycle today if you don't need it. oh, I don’t know. it's no easy job. up front, you got to steer. what do you need it for? how come you haven't shaved today, hmm? oh, it's a pain in the ass, Walt. what about the bike?

I want to go buy something.

what? uh... a gift for Elaine. she's leaving. a goodbye gift? yeah. well, I’ll give you a ride. we'll chip in and buy her something nice. oh, I don’t know. uh... maybe you could give me the ride, and I could buy her something myself. you've never even said hello to a woman. how would you know how to say goodbye? saying goodbye to women takes a touch.

I’ve been married and divorced four times.

I’m an expert on the subject. we'll go to the pier market.

I thought I would go to 12th street to--to the gift shop. oh, she surely was something last night, Walt!

I didn’t sleep a wink!

you would think that on my last day, you guys would order something different just to make me happy, but no. you smell nice.

I smell like bacon. psst.

we brought you a going-away present. a bottle of vodka? what's wrong? you don't like vodka? no, it's very sweet, but I don’t drink. you got to drink something. well, not this... but I know plenty of people who do, so... one of them's sitting right next to you.

you guys are sweethearts. thank you very much. thank you. thank you, Walter.

it's yours.

well, how the hell did I know?

I thought everybody drank. you said you knew what she'd like, and you said Goddamn again. you shouldn't speak that way to her. even a sailor can watch his mouth.

I wasn't a sailor. I was a captain! a captain can say whatever they Goddamn-- leave your ugly words for the water. women shouldn't hear such things. don't tell me about women. I’ve had four wives.

I think maybe that means you don't know women at all.

I got news for you, pal. women like me. no, women slap you in the face because you only know how to be rude!

I suppose you learned a lot about women dancing around your apartment by yourself! huh? ha ha ha! ha ha ha!

* la-la-la-la-la

* la-la-la-la-la-la I saw you the other night spinning around your living room! you just leave Elaine alone. she's my friend. you don't have a right to buy her awful gifts and say they're from me.

I wouldn't buy her something so awful. now she thinks I’m awful, too. were you thinking about Elaine when you were dancing around in that suit?

I am only practicing. practicing? practicing?

I bet you've been dancing around up there for 30 years... alone! that ain't practicing! that's fantasizing! you're the one who fantasizes. number 1--you lie-- that that woman slept with you last night. you pretend to be king with the women, wearing that stupid hat! it is a stupid hat, only a stupid $7.00 hat! women think you are a clown! don't you touch that hat. don't touch that hat. you don't touch that hat. come on, Walt. come on. come on, come on, Walt. you don't touch that hat again. that's a gift from my son, and it's a damn fine hat! no, it's not. it's a terrible gift, like the one you bought Elaine. it is thoughtless, and only a terrible son would buy that gift for his father.

I don’t have to take any more of that shit from you! you're--you're worse than a woman! you're a man without balls, a man without balls!

and don't tell me I got a terrible son!

because I do, God damn it, I do. but I don’t need you to tell me that! that's life, Walt! that's what life does to you... but you wouldn't know that because you've never lived one! you've got no balls! you just got your--your dancing and your Goddamn baseball games and your crossword puzzles!

I had nice things to do until you came with your stories, always talking, so I can’t have peace. you never listen, only talk! what do you know? you've only known me two weeks. what do I know? yeah! what I know?

I know Elaine was my friend before you came here with your filthy mouth.

I know I could have breakfast here, and she'd be nice to me. now she won't be here anymore!

oye, Frank... you may have a fancy job and a spiffy jacket, but you still are only a dirty sailor.

a dirty sailor.

I’ll see you later... twinkletoes!

drive 'em in, and we win, and you're the hero. that's a good play, kiddo. come on, Henry! let's go!

Henry! come on, buddy. no pressure, though, son. no pressure. keep your eye on the ball and listen to me. that's it. remember, never lose your composure. shut up and let your son bat! what do you want, a piece of me? no. just leave him alone. it's none of your business! what are you pushing for? don't push! that was a push? how's that for a push? you're out of control!

I’m talking to my son! you're out of control! leave me alone! yay! yay! ohh. yes! come on, get it!

go on! go on! cut him off! hurry!

yeah! go on! safe!

moist, humid air out of--

who is it?

Francis. you better not be drunk.

I’m not drunk.

I’ve been working. a man don't drink on the job. he drinks after the job. you shouldn't be coming around here so late, Joyce, especially in that good-looking suit.

I don’t want people talking. they all go to sleep before the sun sets. nobody's looking. well, it is almost midnight.

I was sleeping myself. sleeping? how come I heard the television before you came to the door? you got good ears for an old man.

I just want to sit down for a little while.

and he hit that ball so hard, I thought the bat was broke in half. would you drop a little of that in here?

he stood 6 feet tall. it was a great sight to see. you know, Frank... before you came around, I’d forgotten how much I really like Irish whiskey. you know, it was a great sight to see.

did I ever tell you of the time I met Ernest Hemingway? if you're going to tell me that story again, fill it up to the top.

1938, Puerto Rico.

I was the youngest sea captain in the Caribbean.

I was 20 years old, you see. now, Hemingway, he was older, but he was strong. he was a fisherman. he just liked to congregate with other fishermen and sailors, you know, what-have-you. one night he was as tight as a drum. he stands up, and he shouts out how he could whip any man in the room, which was a stupid thing to say. now, why was that, Frank? because I was there, lady. ah. and I was a sight to see. why, I had arms as wide and round as these legs. these legs were as big as banyan trees. ah, I was rough, tougher than hell.

I was as hard as a rock. so, I...

I walked up to him, and I smiled... and I said, "whip me.

"go on.

"go on. try and whip me."

'cause I was as hard as a rock. oh, it was... it was a sight to see. poo.

you're a beautiful woman, Helen. you're a beautiful, beautiful woman.

you've had a lot to drink, Frank. and you've got great tits. all my wives had great tits. wonderful. pick up your clothes now. hey, come here, Helen. just let me feel your tits press against me. don't walk away from me, woman! don't walk away from me.

you're not going to send me up to bed like some kid.

I came down... to spend the night with a woman.

I can’t do this anymore.

I’m sorry, Helen.

I used to pick women up in my arms.

I could carry them upstairs. now I’m carrying my clothes... like a clown.


let me sleep on your couch.

I don’t want to go back to that room tonight.

I don’t want to be up there alone. not tonight.


come here.

excuse me, ladies. what do you call that activity there? we're dancing. dancing?

no. no, I’m sorry, ladies, but... but that ain't-- that ain't dancing. two of you are 3 feet apart. one of you is moving around without the other. you got to have a partner to dance.

I don’t know how. nothing to it. you want to learn? it's O.K.

O.K. then...

first of all, you've got to put on some beneficial music.

ah, that's nice. give me your two hands. now put your left foot up on my right foot, your right foot up on my left. and 1, 2, 3, follow me.

you know, you should've been at the game, Walt.

I am ashamed I kept you away. it was a sight to see.

I’ll tell you, big Henry, well, big Henry hit a-- he went--

he's never going to get a hit, I guess. they could've won it this time, but big Henry struck out again, I’m afraid.

you know, Walter...

I’ve been married and divorced four times.

I’ve got a lot of enemies, but I’m kind of short on friends.

let's go, girls. it's getting late.

I’m sorry I made fun of your hat, Frank. yeah, well... it's a damn fine hat. yes, yes. that was a sad day.

I never even say goodbye to Elaine. well, you ought to say goodbye. but it's Sunday. the bus doesn't work today.

I--I can’t get there.


I will get you there.

why are we stopping, Frank?

I need to sit, Walt. but Elaine is there. you go ahead. oh. alone? no. I will wait with you.

Walt, if you don't move your ass, you're going to miss her. you can pick me up on the way back. now get moving. come on. come on. oh...


now, Walt, you'll do fine. just keep pedaling.

O.K. O.K. whoa!

I am in the front, Frank.

I am in the front! ha ha ha! whoa! keep pedaling! keep pedaling!

* I love Paris

* in the springtime

* I love Paris

* in the fall

* I love Paris

* in the winter

* when it drizzles

* I love Paris

* in the summer

* when it sizzles

* I love Paris

* every moment

* every moment

* of the year

* I love Paris... hello!

Walter. hi.

I wanted to say goodbye. that last day in the restaurant, I didn’t want to leave, but Frank, he made me mad. oh, well, yeah, he has a way about him. he's not a bad guy. he's just used to being alone all the time. how'd you find my house?

I went to the snack shop, and they told me where you live. see? you look different, Elaine. well, I’m not in that awful uniform. no, it wasn't so awful. no.

why don't you come inside? oh...

I have to go back. well, you just got here. how did you get here?

Frank, he let me use his bike. you came all this way on that? yes. it wasn't hard.

I’m in good shape. well... you better come in for a drink just the same.

you have many, many clothes.

so, are you still going to the big dance?

I hear they're not so big anymore. no? who'd you ask? nobody yet.

I’ll be right back with your water.

I wanted to ask you to the summer dance, but you're moving, so I’m going to ask someone else, and...

I’m a very good dancer.

you're making me very sorry to move, Walter.

that's a long way to ride a bike.

6 miles. you must be beat.

I can ride more miles than that!

can I get you a glass of fat to go with this? this will do just fine. uh, uh, uh, uh. no, you don't.

I’m sorry, Mickey. oh! you're losing your touch, Frank.

I barely felt that one. why don't you put that crossword puzzle away?

I’ve never seen you fill more than two boxes.

I do them when you are at work at your fancy job. uh, I got sacked. too much time in the theater, not enough in the lobby. oh. you know, Walt, that was the first job I ever had that was not on the water.

I was beginning to like it. here. thank you. mmm...mmm mmm mmm. well, tonight is a dance at the Oriole's Lodge, and there is a band coming down from Jacksonville. it has five members, and there is, uh, dancing and raffle and free booze. would you like to come with me? are you asking me on a date, Walt? as a friend. will there be women there? yes. old women.

I like all kinds. me, too. me, too.

* some enchanted evening *

* you may see a stranger *

* nena, que me sucedió

* cuando por primera vez te vi *

* amor good afternoon, Helen.

* suela que me alma sintió * good afternoon, Frank.

* y esto sólo

* al hablarte

* te ofrecí

* ámame cualquier momento

* quiéreme siempre

* porque así quieren las lágrimas a dios *

* yo me siento muy feliz

* linda mujer

* y te quiero con todo mi corazón *

* y yo cantaré

* y solita tú serás la emperatriz *

* aunque no rinda mientras viva *

* mientras viva toda

* toda mi pasión


Frank, we're late! it's after 7:00!


oye, Frank! we're late!

Frank, open up! someone's waiting.

come on, Frank. we're going to be late, Frank. you should be dressed. wake up. wake up.

up. hey!

Frank, up.


well, he is drunk, probably. why should you be drinking tonight, Frank? hey.

would you know who to call? no, I...

do you know if he had a doctor? no, I don’t know that. well, I have to call someone to come.

the city will come. oh, no, no. no, no, no. he has a son. well, the son.

I’ll have to call downstairs. would you wait?

I will wait. yes. yes.

oh, Frank...

you should not leave here like this. no. you should be dressed like a gentleman.

a gentleman.

goodbye, Frank.

you shaved today.

goodbye, Frank.

* sufro la inmensa pena del cuento mío *

* siento el dolor profundo *

* de tu partida

* y lloro sin que sepa que el llanto mío *

* tiene lágrimas negras

* tiene lágrimas negras como mi vida *

* sufro la inmensa pena del cuento mío *

* siento el dolor profundo de tu partida *

* y lloro sin que sepa el llanto mío *

* tiene lágrimas negras

* tiene lágrimas negras como mi vida *

* tú me quieres dejar

* yo no quiero sufrir

* contigo me voy

* aunque me cueste morir

* tú me quieres dejar

* yo no quiero sufrir

* contigo me voy

* aunque me cueste

* morir