Xia ri fu xing (1985) Script

In 1945 the United States dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima.

In 1964 America became involved in the Vietnam War.

In 1976 America launched the first space shuttle and brought it back to Earth successfully.

In 1983 Britain went to war with Argentina over the Falkland Islands unleashing the horror of missile warfare.

However, none of these has anything to do with the story that follows.


Give me a hand.

Morning Brother

I cook breakfast every Wednesday morning but it'll be your job from tomorrow so you better find out what they like.

Know what I mean?

What about drinks?

They all like Pepsi Cola! Here.

Good morning. Morning.

Who wants to challenge me?

We all will.

Yeah! Let's see how good you are.

Yeah. Sure.

Watch it!

You're soaking me!

Watch what you say in front of those guys, understand?

I see what you mean now.

Did you hear the door? Yeah.

Open the door then!

Hi, Barbara. Nice to see you. Come in.

Fellows look who's here. Barbara, how are you?

Breakfast? Aren't you ready yet?

Ready for what? Going to Pattaya!

When I phoned I told you we're leaving one day earlier.

Phone call? Sure, Herbert took the call.

What? I didn't want you to go.

I'm leaving tomorrow, so I want you to stay with me today.

If you can get ready in five minutes maybe we can still make it.

Wait for me!

Barbara, See you soon?


Hello, I'm your guide on this tour and my name is Larry!

Nice to meet you.

Thank you for joining our tour.

Now we're going to Pattaya beach resort.

We'll be arriving there in about two hours.

Oh, no! Two hours before we get there?!

So we'll have to put up with his gibberish for two hours.

He's very boring!

We can play games with you!

Do you want to play hide-and-seek on this bus?


Don't forget your bags! We get off here.

Here we are.

This way! it's gorgeous! Let's go swimming!


Can you swim? Over there, come on.

Swimming? Let's follow them! Let's go

I'll put some cream on you.

Fast Buck. Hi!

You can do it.

Come on!

Do they think I'm your girlfriend? I guess so.

Let me confess how I feel about you.

Rawhide told me...

Love is such a special emotion.

Love is the ultimate feeling.

Fast Buck...

I've never loved you

and I never will.

This is how I feel about you.

Last time I wanted you...

To come with me to save Muscles' life.

That was why I said I admired you a lot I am sorry for giving you the wrong hint I shouldn't have said those things to you I hope you can forgive me for this.

Don't take it too hard.

We can still be friends.

Fast Buck?


How do girls rate men who dig a tunnel to chat them up?

We've made it! We're there, Come on, hurry!

Are you sure we're going the right way?

Of course! I can even feel their body heat through the sand!

If it wasn't for you, I would've had them in my arms already.


I'll keep quiet. Sorry!

I'll give all of you a taste of how I feel.


It's an earthquake it's an earthquake! Why did it collapse?


What are you doing?

You fat louse you always ruin everything!

Hi! Having a good time you big spenders?

We aren't big spenders.

I told the girls you're high rollers!


Those girls want to know about you I told them you're rich businessmen.

Yeah, you're right. We better be loaded.


What are you talking about?

We must be rich to pay the bill!

Shut up, you stupid boy. Put a sock in his mouth Sandy.

Hi. Please sit down.

We scored.

What do you mean?

The Dow-Jones rose and there's a new share issue so we scored.

Did you make any money?

No, we've got no shares.

Order food! Right, order some.

You get some, we've eaten already.

But the food here's no good.

You might have had enough but we haven't.

Order anything you like.

The seafood's really good here.

So that guy falls down

it's really funny.

Miss, we... come on.

Tell us more jokes.

Are you sure?

I really like your jokes. Come on.

OK, I'll continue.

Roundhead, I want a word with you first.

Let me grope her when she laughs.

Try this. A boy and his girlfriend are in the park one evening the boy looks very sad.

The girl says, Why so sad? Let me make you happy.

He replies how?

She whispers with one hand I can make you extremely happy.

He thinks a while and says no so the girl says.

Maybe with both hands I can make you forget your troubles.

So the boy thinks again and says better not.

So she says I'm sure I can make you happy with both hands and my tongue together.

He can't say no to that and she goes like...

You're hurting me. So what!

Your turn now. I can't tell jokes!

You don't get off that easily.

Come on, it's your turn to tell jokes I want you to tell us a joke now!

OK, I'll try.

There's a girl called Joan of Arc disguises herself and goes to war.

That's it. It's not funny at all.

Jokes are supposed to be funny I don't know any!

Come on, tell us a joke, or I'll break your legs.

He's crying, he can't tell jokes.

Let me tell you a joke.

Let's hear it, but remember it must be short and funny.

This dumb guy goes on his first date and forgets his pants

I knew you were going to do that.

Right, pay up, we're going.

Let's go to the disco.

No way! We know your game, you've been groping us all night.

Dancing with you? Forget it.

She's right. Thanks for the lobster, and the jokes.

We better go.

Yeah, while we're still friends.

Don't leave just yet!

Who's gonna pay the bill?

It's not my fault they left!

It is your fault! I'll beat you up.

It's your fault. You deserve a beating up too.

Stop! Come back here! You little...


Did you find the soothsayer?

Yes, sir. We'll meet you at 6 am.


Your bill, sir.

He'll pay. That guy over there. Thank you.

This is it. You'll have to go in yourself.

Who's gonna be my interpreter?

He speaks your language better than you.

So be careful with what you say. Rubbish!

Good luck. You wait here for me!

That depends. Depends on what?

It'll depend on what happens.

If he puts a curse on you you'll be bleeding non-stop and my boat will be gone.

Sir, your magic's great and I wish to learn.


Cut it out. Cash first

it's foreign currency but it's just as good.

All money is good, only men are bad but there is good or bad magic.

Which one would you like to learn?

What's the difference?

Good magic helps folks.

Bad magic's the opposite.

I'll learn bad magic, then. Good. A wise choice.

I'm fresh out of good magic.

Tell me, why do you wanna learn magic?

I'd say you would use it to pick up women.

Right, and their money, too!

At least you're honest I can tell just by looking at you.

But how do you know that? This is what they say he who is blind is cunning, he who is deaf is evil I don't fit in either of them I haven't finished he who is skinny is pretentious he who has long chin is randy so I'd say you are a two-timing lecher.

Since you're very keen I think you'll learn it very quickly.

OK Shirt off.

Compose your thoughts cover your waist keep your eyes to the front and hold your breath.

What? Stop breathing?

Woman, get ready.

Get up, it's over.

That was quick. It's not like the old days now.

Now, think of any woman that you desire then stick the pin in the doll say two hearts in one and she'll give herself to you.

Are you sure? Will it work?

You can try it now. Woman!

Two hearts in one... two hearts in one...

Who were you thinking of? You, of course.

What? Are you gay?

No way!

I wanna see if it works!

You mean you don't trust me?

Not at first but I do now!

I did it!

What are they talking about? Can you hear?

Are you sure it works?

Will it work on any woman?

I'm not betting on it. You better not mess it up and I know how to chat up women better than you I agree it could be a disaster.

Bad magic is it foolproof?

Shut up or I'll kill you!

Forget about him just tell us how this works I use the pin say the words and the woman's mine.

They're gonna try magic on us.

We'd better not go in there I don't think they know anything about magic.

Let's teach them a lesson.

We'll try their magic.

It might work. Then you might score.

You might!

Come on.

Here come the girls. Open the door!

Welcome to our humble lodgings. Please come in.

What a welcome. This must be some kind of a trap.

What have you in mind marijuana cocaine or brandy?

Of course not!

How do you know that?

Keep your mouth shut.

How do you like this little dolly? it's gorgeous! Can I have a look?

Let me see! She's beautiful.

She looks like you! Really?

Yeah, she does.

Is there anything special about it? Yes.

It is special look, there's another one here!

He's staring at you.

Come on. What are you doing?

We'll show you some good stuff.

Come on. Look, it's over there I love you. Two hearts in one.

The one in red.

Honey... Darling...

One more time.

Macho man...

Are you crazy?

Hold it. Have you ever been dumped?

I haven't even been in love before.

Now, you're in trouble, falling in love with me I love you Sandy, don't be so selfish!

Don't you dare insult him!

Stop! Don't hurt him, or I'll dump you!

Please don't!

Why am I holding you?!

Great. You were all over him.

What was that? Why didn't you stop me?

Let me try.

Friends don't count when there's broads.

Selfish creep. You want them all?

You bet. What about me?

He's got all of them!

Take it easy. One by one.

Come on in.

Lucky bastard.

Let me be the first.

Did you hear that? It works!

Well, anyone else know bad magic?


What about you?

No, I don't know. No? it's your friend's. It's your friend's it's your friend's.

Let's take a look

I'm sorry, I won't do it again. I promise!

I won't do it again. I swear I'll behave.

Are we still going for lunch?



Fast Buck!

Fast Buck?

I got a call from Superintendent Cho.

An informer has some valuable information for the department.

Will you give me some backup? No way.

Fast Buck, look at me.

What, you wanna tell me you see only me in your eyes?

I don't. It's not that at all I wanna see how a brave man like you became such a coward I'm not a coward I just don't want to be deceived or used again.

Right. When I needed some help you were the one I turned to I'm very disappointed.

But I know...

Even if I get killed I'll die with no regrets I'll tell you something, it's one thing to help your true love but to help someone in return for her love is another thing.




He's over there.

OK, let's go.

Let me.

He's over there! Hurry!

Where did you send the letter?

To Hong Kong.

Where in Hong Kong?

Let's take him to hospital first.

Too late, he's dead.

At least you managed to kill him though he was picked up by that boat.

We'll take care of it.

No need. My men will fix it I want you to kill a man in Hong Kong.

His name's Lau, here's some background and collect a registered letter from this address.

We found the receipt for the letter in the bastard's room.

It may contain evidence of our operation.

We're killers, we're not postmen.

All right, make sure you kill whoever the letter was sent to.

That will make sure the letter is useless.

Girls, who are you looking for?

Sorry, I don't understand.

You're not girls!

Hey, is this a Kung fu lesson?

I'm a kung fu master maybe you'll recognise my style.

Let me teach you.

Fast Buck, are they broads?

I haven't found out.

Good job! I know how to dance or I'd have fainted already.

Sorry, the dance is over.

What's going on?

We must get back to Hong Kong.


Yes, and you better hurry!

The others are having a massage.

Just go get them!


When we're together, don't you feel secure?

What's that?

OK, it's me that feels secure.

Cut out the nonsense and start packing.

Be careful. Don't miss anything.

Yes, boss.

Don't worry, boss. We can handle it, boss.

No fishing here - go away!

OK, we're just leaving!



How many can you take with six bullets?

Don't move!

Freeze! What about eighteen bullets?

Do you have eighteen men here?

See? Hit the jackpot first time out together.

You bet. Smooth as silk.

No wonder they call you Lucky.

You! Don't move!

Don't move!


Get over there!

All on that side!

Get him!

Hold it! Don't move!

Come on you'd have to be a Klutz to miss from this range.

At least we'll die together. What do you say, officers?

Don't move!

What now?

Empty your guns so they're no use to them.

Do we have to use our fists? Do you know how to scrap?

Yeah, but only two at a time I'll beat that, I can handle three.

What about the rest?

Come on, prove you can take nine.

Get them!

Take him!

Freeze! Police! Don't move!

Don't shoot, it'll go up in flames.

Don't move, police!

All right, book 'em! Yeah, come on.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say may be used in evidence.

Have you got anything to say? Take them away.

Move it.

Flowers are cheap today cheaper than yesterday.

Who's there? Show your ID card. Do you hear me?

May I ask...

No questions.

Don't bother me. You're paid, so buzz off!

I don't need whatever you're selling!

Please open up, mister.

What a beautiful voice. I wonder what she looks like?

I told you it would work, it always does, right?

What is it? A message for me?

I know my rights.

You need a warrant.

Cool it, we have a warrant. Here, take a look.

If you like, call HQ they'll explain.

We're from Special Branch Hong Kong police I'm Inspector Woo and my partner, Rick.

Sorry, must be sure.

Can't tell cops from robbers these days.

Do you live here alone?

No, I rent a room to an opera colleague, Chi-chi Wang it's her we're looking for I don't know if she's up.

What's wrong? Nothing's wrong!

She's changing if I didn't scream she'd think I was peeping!

I think you peep at her everyday.

You... What's up?

Sorry. You creep!

Are you Chi-chi Wang? Yes.

We want a word with her alone.

So take a walk, or go and get a haircut.

Don't give me that crap! We're like brother and sister.

We share our problems.

Miss Wang may be involved in a murder.

What? I will take a walk.

You can't leave now.

What murder did you say?

Melvin Ma was murdered in Pattaya.

Melvin was murdered? That idiot!

I wouldn't speak ill of the dead I'm still a happy man doesn't matter if he's dead or alive.

His death... Shut up!

Watch your manners.

Do you want me to co-operate?

If you want to be co-operative then Keep your mouth shut!

I can't! What about my bad breath?

My mouth needs some ventilation.

Miss Wang, we'd like to know if Mr. Ma wrote to you recently.

Yes, he usually sent one or two letters a week.

But we were just friends.

Would you show us the letters?

They may hold a clue.

All right, I'll get them for you.

But if you want to learn about writing love letters a writing guide offers better value.

Ma was absolutely disgusting!

He described women as ashtrays.

You're my ashtray, I'm a cigarette perched on your rim.

Be patient, I'll soon drop into your arms.

Don't you think that's disgusting?

So you read her letters?

They're all here.

Is this all of them? They're all I have I don't think it's arrived.

Miss Wang, apart from us there are some crooks also interested in a letter from him.


I told you that Ma was up to no good.

See? Now we're in trouble!

It's too dangerous to stay here so we think you should move out.

Move out? Where to?


We'll put you in a safe place.

Please go and pack some clothes.

That goes for you, too.

No. It's my home I was born here. I'm not moving out.

If you don't, you will die here.

What? Who'd wanna kill me?

They don't play games. They're killers.

They're animals, then. I can outsmart them.

Man is a superior creature...

Shut up and get ready it's for your own good.

Don't you worry, I can manage!

I've known how to take care of myself ever since my childhood Johnny, haven't you packed?

The devil himself couldn't scare me away!

You'll be safe to stay with me here I'll protect you I think we should leave.

No. I'll stay here to take your calls Barbara, can you two go downstairs first?

All right, come on.

Look, don't try using force, it won't work.

You could get hurt I'll show you how these crooks work people over.

What, you mean guns or kung fu?

Are you trying to castrate Cho?

This is not castration.

He may become impotent or constipated, or maybe both.

Concentrate. This doll's Superintendent Cho.


Let's go over there.

How did it taste?

You can find out yourself.

Those moves don't count.

Are you kidding?

What game are you trying to play?

Listen, you need brains to play chess.

If every move has to count, flip coins, then.

I've had enough! What's wrong?

Get out of the way!

Stop staring. And stop playing with toys.

Hide it!

it's a man. So what?

You little bugger.

No! Come back here!

Please! Remember my foot it's still hurting.

One more word... and I'll kill you! Come on.

Who is it? OK, I'll get it.

Make it a woman!

Sorry, Miss. Are you all right?

Is this... Yes! This is the right place.

You can even stay overnight.

No problem.

What's your name?

I'm Rome short for Romeo.

His real name is Rum... My real name...

You see? You see?

A girl look! You're all the same

Barbara! We missed you! Where have you been?

Did I say something wrong?

No, you're just stupid.

Can't you just shut up?

Come on in. Please come in.

Trading in the old for something new?

What? I've never been his girlfriend.

Only you know if it's old or new.

If you want to break up then do it.

Don't leave it up in the air.

All right, I won't let other people use me again.

From now on it's me for myself Everyone else comes second I didn't realise, you're actors.

You sound really weird!

I mean, normal people don't speak that way.

Well, unless you're theatre actors.

You don't expect me to stay with these weirdos?

Don't worry I once had to spend a lot of time with them myself and their behaviours can make you feel like you're a real woman.

So what are you trying to say?

Can't you keep quiet, or I'll lock you up!

I'd prefer that to losing my virginity!

What do you mean, Curly?

Don't call me names. My name is John.

Why are you worrying about your virginity?

I figured that from what she said your behaviours would make me feel like a real woman.

Shouldn't I be worried, then?

Really? So you're looking for trouble here.

Fast Buck, where are your manners?

That'll teach him.

You're all educated teach him some manners.

Why don't we take a walk in the garden?

Sorry, no.

That sweet talk won't work!

You should know how she feels about all of you.

Shut up!

You might stop me talking, but not thinking.

Hold this I'll shut him up.

They'll both have to stay here for a while.

And... and you?

I'm still on the case I thank all of you on behalf of the police force.

We don't expect that! What are friends for?

Just something to grease the palm.

Shut up or I'll shut you up, too.

Since you're staying I'll show you upstairs.

My room's the cleanest room in the house it's big enough for two.

You can stay in Kevin's room and he'll sleep in this living room.

What about me?

I can't be silent any more.

Don't worry they'll find a room for you somewhere I'm clean and healthy I'm particular about where I sleep I don't intend to catch the pox!

Weren't you gonna shut him up? He's chattering like a monkey.

Did you concentrate your thoughts on him?

No. What were you thinking of?

That girl. No wonder she can't speak.

All right, having listened to you I've reached a conclusion.

You gentlemen are sheep in wolves' clothing.

Horny but chicken. I think they won't hurt me.

Miss Wang... It's all right. Don't worry I'll be OK. Go back to your job I promise I'll stay.

She's right, you'd better go.

As a guardian of the law, your citizens need you I'll go to my room.

I'll carry your case. Thanks.

You first I've got to go.

Anyone gonna see me out to the car?

Thanks a lot. A pleasure.

Come on.

One, two, three.

You hit me! So what? You fat louse!

One more step and I'll kill you! Come on, then!

You're asking for it.

You really hit me!


Let go. I wanna kill the bastard.

Come on! Leave him alone! Leave him alone!

How dare you'?! It wasn't me!

Let go...

Can you stop him, please?! You're a dead man!

Stop fighting, will you? Don't stop me!

Please stop! Don't stop me.

It wasn't your business! Let's go!

You two, stop fighting! Come on out!

I'll kill you! Stop that! Stop that.

Let me go! Please stop!

Come on, you fat louse I'm gonna kill you!

Stop fighting each other!

No way, I won't.

Just put down your hands first. Sure.

Stop fighting! Stop fighting!

Serves you right, fatty!

My hands are too hot.

Sorry it's none of your business! Go to hell!

Why did you hit Sandy?

Stop! I'll kill you!

What's wrong?

You all right? It's blood, but I'll be all right.

You're coughing blood!

It's nothing, cos this is for defending you.

Why did he hit you like that?

I've no idea, but I'm going to die.

Before I die, can you do one thing for me?

Sure. I've never kissed a girl before.

Will you kiss me?

Please?! I'm going to die.

Coughing blood? That's my trick!

What will I do, then?!

I thought you forgot, so I did it I still haven't kissed her yet.

Stop fighting! I'm really scared.

Why are they not soft?

What was that?!

You crazy sex maniacs!

What's going on?

Miss Wang's found a rat.

She's trying to catch it in her room.

Don't just stand there. Help her!

Chi-chi! I'm coming I'll catch it!

I'll protect you!


Women?! They're hopeless.

More, more.

Watch it, dummy!

There's a fire, help!

There's a fire! it's a stick-up. Shut up.

There's a fire. You all right?

I'm all right.

How come you're all here?

We had to think of you.


Don't waste time now.

We've got to find a way out.

We'll jump through the window.

No, it's too hard, she'll hurt herself.

What should we do? Do you have any other ideas?

All right, this is no time for modesty.

Get undressed. We'll make a rope and climb down.

OK. Hurry up!

Why aren't you...?

It's silk.

It won't be any good for making a rope.

Really? Let me have a look.

Silk is highly flammable go and make your body and hair wet!

Just do it! Hurry up!



We've made it. We've made it.

Have you made the rope? Yeah, we have.


I've dropped the sheets!

How could you be so careless?

This place is full of smoke now! Yes.

Go get a wet towel to seal the door.

OK. Hurry!


Come on, Fast Buck! Hurry up!

Come on, hurry! Hurry!

Hurry! Hurry!

There are no more towels left!

Now what? Here, take this one.

Roundhead's fainted! It was too much for him.

Fast Buck, you're useless.

Does it work?

The smoke is still pouring in.

What are we gonna do?

We might make it, if can get out from this door but I've got an idea.

What is it?

But it can only save one person.

Lie underwater in the bath tub and use this straw to breathe.

Not you, you coward it's not for me. We must save Miss Wang.

Go and do what Kevin just said.

We'll try and get out of here to find some extinguishers.

There's no time to hesitate. Quick! Right?

Go on, hurry.

Come on, lift Roundhead.

Miss Wang, why aren't you in the tub yet?

Hurry up!

Come on! Let's go.

You first.

We've made it this time.

What's that? Something's burning?

Nothing's wrong. Go back inside.

Come on.

Have you put out the fire?

Not yet. It's still burning

I meant...

Help yourselves, don't wait for me I should really thank you for saving my life.

What? Nothing.

Sit down, then.

Do you think I'm an idiot? Of course!

That's fine. I just wanted to make it clear.

Sit down.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. Just kidding around. Tuck in.

Tuck in, Miss Wang. Tuck in.

Don't worry, I just wanna get rid of this chicken's bottom.

Miss, you're a great cook I agree. She's also beautiful and tasty.

What did you say?

Say that again I said the price of houses is so low we could save up enough to buy a new apartment.

I meant to say the chicken's tough so I ate it all.

All right? What?

What did I say? Nonsense.

Guess it was I heard what you said, I can't be tasty it's the wrong word, but you could say my food's tasty I see.

You look so good I'd like to eat you.

Roundhead, you're rambling again.

OK, I'll get it right.

Last night, when we saw your body, we loved it.

He's only kidding I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to our house.


And there'll be no more fires.

Yeah, because we never use the same trick twice!

I'll shut up and eat my food.

We're going to the rehearsal after lunch.

Anyone want to join us?

But we wouldn't know what to do on the stage.

Pity, there are lots of pretty girls.

It doesn't hurt to learn acting, does it?

Our jobs cost taxpayers millions I don't think so.

Then you're wrong.

Your monthly salary, rent for quarters your gun and bullets they all cost money.

All right, carry on.

All this money is meant to protect good citizens from crime but we're doing the reverse we're protecting criminals!

I'm fed up with those damn cops.

So-called police protection I've lost $40 million because of them.

Good job I can trust you.

Have you sorted it out?

All sorted. Every family, 20 grand a month I'm going out, don't let the cops follow.

Let's go.

That's not Lau.

It must be. Let's take a look.

Turn back!

The motorbikes!

The world's full of dead heroes.

Don't be a hero I can kill you any minute.

But I don't kill for no money I'm no hero, I'm a cop.

One of us will get you.

You fool!

Your orders were to protect Lau but he was killed right in front of you.

We didn't see it.

Chief. He was already dead.

It was his fault, he tried to shake us off.

Forget it, you're off the case.

You'll help Inspector Woo.

Yes, Sir!

Don't forget, your job is to prevent crime.

Understood, sir.

Hello! Hi!

Amy will explain what's involved I must go to rehearsals. She'll help you.

She's pretty.

Which group would you like to join?

Don't join the theatre group or you'll end up as my props!

Theatre group!

You'll regret it.

Fill in these forms, you'll get your membership card next week Amy, you're so helpful.

OK, that's enough.

Thanks, Amy.

Sorry, Amy. I've sprained my wrist so I can't write.

Would you fill it in for me?

Of course.

Your name? Alain.


It's Delon. Alain Delon.

Your parents name you that?

No, as soon as I was born the nurses called me that.

Don't know why.

But my friends agree the name fits me very well.

Really. Your birth place? Canton.

Canton? How do you spell that?

You don't know how to spell Canton?

Let me show you.

OK Fill in the form yourself, you stupid boy.

"Name: Rawhide ID No: 52560136 Age: 28 and 96 months"

Rawhide, your age is wrong.

What's wrong with it?

28 and 96 months?

That's none of your business. Stop.

"Judo Room"

Let's change our clothes. What clothes?

Judo kits. So you know Judo?

No. Forget it.

Looks like fun. Count me out.

Come on!

Hello, Miss.

Find a place and sit down.

In Judo, you defeat your opponents by using your brain, not your fists.

Keeping the balance is the key I'll do a couple of demonstrations today

I need a partner, any volunteers?

Step over here.


You seem to be pretty tough.

Yeah, you're absolutely right.

You must be tired, sit down.

Not me. On your feet.

Very nice!

She's fantastic.

Who else wants a try?


How about the big fellow?

Me? No, I can't.

Come on!

Let me demonstrate what's called the deflection move.

Go on, Fast Buck, get a grope.

No, I really can't.

Don't worry, I'll be gentle. Come on.

Come on.

Please, don't force me. Come on.

Sorry I'm not used to having a girl on top.


Would anyone else like to try?

Please, show me how to do it! Please, show me!

Kevin, having fun?

I was playing with my fingers not much fun here.

Why is that?

The actors haven't arrived yet.

Who plays the lead?

I'm the star, but my co-star, who plays Juliet's brother and his men are not here yet.

Wait no more. Forget them, we'll do it.

You're the director, shall we begin?

They ought to replace you. You, play Romeo?

Why not? Why, yes, you fool?

I know it's a crazy idea...


Sorry, that's the wrong word.

Not crazy, marvellous!

I want to inject new ideas into this Shakespeare play.

Her beauty needn't be matched by Romeo's.

So it would give hope to a not-so-attractive audience.


Why don't you let us help you make this masterpiece?

That would be great! You play Juliet's brother and his men.

Just try to make it flow so Romeo can improve his acting skills.

What? So we're really props, then.

That doesn't matter, does it? Let's start.

OK, we'll start from where Romeo meets Juliet's brother.


Romeo, they are coming

Romeo, so you do have the courage to face reality.

Show me your... Show me your...

Face! Your face.

There's love and honesty in my face.

Even if I had no courage that would also show in my face.

Strike him! He's too... He's too...

Arrogant. He's too arrogant!

You can't even read, how can you be on stage?

That's not in the script.

Of course, it's not in the script I said it because you're all hopeless.

They're illiterate, how can we do this?

Why can't illiterates be actors?

Do you know all the words?

Not all of them, but most of them.

Do you know the word for night soil and water?

You don't Know?


Stuff your face with it.

There's a shorter word for it.

This is a very easy word, and you don't know it I tell you, it doesn't even exist.

Forget it. Let's get on with Romeo and Juliet.

Look, it's a rehearsal, and we offered to fill in.

If we blow the lines just ignore them, right?

Good idea!

Let's continue, then.

Where were we? Who's next?

He's too arrogant I beg you, brother, please don't fight him.

If he's hurt, I'll suffer as much as he Juliet, fear not!

For your love I'd gladly die.

Romeo. Juliet Juliet, I am the leader of the Capulets I cannot bear to see you fall in love with a demon.

Look at me, this face is so twisted with worry Romeo is not a demon, he's not!

He is the devil's brother!

Right! Kill him! Kill the Swine!

I can't take it any more Juliet Romeo, you should be holding her!

If you don't wanna do that, we can do it.

Yeah! Are you gay?

Even gays don't treat a girl like that.

Say it to him not me!


You're sorry?

Are you really?

What are you doing?

It's these glasses I'll go home to get my Contact lenses.

You're Romeo, not Zatoichi the blind swordsman!

Right? Right.

If wasn't for art I wouldn't be with you Philistines!

Your coffee. Thanks.

I've got a letter for Miss Wang. That's me.

Miss Chi-chi Wang? That's right.

Sign here.

Who's the letter for?

Me, of course.

Didn't mean to be nosy.

Why are you back? For my Contact lenses.

No need to shout.

Who's the letter for?

Shut up, or I'll kick you out.

Really? Go on, kick me out!

It's two blank sheets of paper.

You didn't kick me out I'm still here.

Piss off!

It's blood, you bastard!

Maybe you can make me bleed but you can never get me out of here with one kick.

When I was about to shoot, someone came in.

Let's go.

Let me do it. You take me to that building, OK?

Rick, are you all right?

A suspicious postman just left. Really?

Where is he?

I couldn't find him.

Let's go upstairs first.

May I help you, sir?

Where is the toilet?

To your right. Thank you.


Anyone there?

You sure? He pointed a gun at you in the toilet?

Yes, it was a real gun.

Did he do anything?

She could've been raped and killed by him!

Let's take a look it's the ladies toilet.

That's why we have to take a look I get it.

What's your hurry?

That's him.

Careful, he might have a gun.

So you are not blind!

What did he say? It's Japanese.


Hurry, hurry...

We've got to save Roundhead, somehow.

How? Distract the guy's attention.

That's right. Try it.

All right.

Hello there!

I just tried. It didn't work.

He's out of bullets!

Hold it!

Police! Down, everyone!

I know you're out of ammo so give up.

Muscles is wounded.

What do we do? Help him I can't, they have guns.

Don't worry.

Go on, get him!


No, I'll be OK!

Alright. Let's go.

How about now?

I'm OK. It's only blood.


Nothing. Excuse me!

You got hurt now.

It doesn't hurt at all.

Because my whole damn body is numb.

Wonderful! Great! Super!

Who's the smart-ass that pushed me? I didn't.

You help Muscles. We'll get the other guy.

We'll get the other guy.

Come on!

Go! He's still alive.

Fast Buck, forget the manners! Beat him up!

Get him!

Fast Buck, thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

Are you all right?

It's OK. Are you all right?

Let me lock those guys up first.

Let me! I'll do it! I can do it!

Move it!

I don't believe it! I don't believe it!

I don't believe it! I can't believe it!