Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) Script

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Promise you won't fuck any Italians.

What are you talking about?

Or any gringo backpackers.

Gross!

Or any French fags.

No!

Or any of those dirty Mexicans selling bracelets on the Riviera.

Tenoch, come on! Nobody else!

Of course not.

Promise me. I promise.

What? You know.

Know what?

I promise...

I won't fuck... any Chinamen!

Don't bullshit me! Don't you trust me?

Sure I do. Well, then?

Promise me. What about you?

I promise too.

Prove it.

Let's say it together.

One... two... three:

I promise...

I won't... fuck... any...

Brazilians... Germans...

Argentineans... Poles...

Venezuelans... Irishmen... or your father!

Are you crazy?

Ana's mother, a French divorcée and teacher at the Institute for Foreigners, didn't object to Tenoch staying over and sleeping with her daughter.

For Julio it was different. He stayed at Cecilia's for dinner but had to come back in the morning for the trip to the airport.

Though he never said so, Cecilia's father, a pediatrician specializing in allergies, feared that his daughter's relationship with Julio would go too far.

Her mother, a Lacanian psychologist, welcomed their relationship and felt it was innocent enough.

I can't believe it. She lost her passport.

She'll miss her plane!

Julio, come help me find my passport!

Go on! We're in a hurry!

Did you get the car out?

Hurry, close the door! What about your passport?

Right here, stupid!

Come on, baby.

Hurry!

What a nice good-bye!

Tell me... will you go out tonight?

No way, baby. I'll be too lonely.

I'll be missing you like hell!

Let's go! We have to leave!

Your mom!

I want to take a little of you with me!

The plane's going to leave without you!

Get off!

Did you find it?

It's right here! Great!

Hi, Maru. Hi.

Have you seen Esteban? No.

Ana, come check in.

What's up, Charolastra?

I hate this good-bye bullshit.

Why don't they just go?

I'll miss her, but this is too much.

What's up, boys? Hey, how are you?

Did I overhear something I shouldn't have?

Princess. Dad, you came!

Ana's father was a journalist recently turned politician.

He worked for the municipal government in Mexico City as Director of Logistics in the Department of Culture.

Though he liked Tenoch, he referred to him as "the preppie" in front of his colleagues, but never in front of his daughter.

I want to get on that plane. I want to be there already.

I don't want you to go. I'll miss you so much.

I don't want to go, sweetie.

Smells like bread.

You pig!

Holy shit!

Enjoy your graduation present!

You should have flunked!

Don't be a baby.

So was your old man pissed?

He freaked.

If I don't take economics, he'll take away the car.

You'd give up the Batmobile because of a fucking course?

Fuck economists, man!

Those pricks can suck my dick.

You're an idiot.

Fuck you. I'm going to be a writer.

Switch to lit with me, man.

No fucking way!

Fucking traffic!

I bet my sister's in another demonstration.

It's their right, Charolastra.

And it's my right to tell 'em to fuck off!

I guess.

But left-wing chicks are hot, dude.

Totally.

Are you wearing perfume?

You fucking pig!

Open the window!

There were three demonstrations across the city that day.

But the traffic jam holding them up had been caused by Marcelino Escutia, a migrant bricklayer from Michoacán.

Marcelino had been hit by a speeding bus.

He never used the pedestrian bridge, because its poor location meant walking an extra mile and a half to his work site.

His unidentified body was taken to the city morgue, where it went unclaimed for four days.

Tenoch Iturbide was the second of three children born to a Harvard-trained economist who became Undersecretary of State and a housewife given to esoteric spiritual practices.

His parents had decided to name him Hernán, but he was born the year his father entered government service, and seized by a sudden surge of nationalism, his father gave his son an Aztec name, Tenoch.

Once we're stoned, we'll drop a little "E."

I got some from Frisco that's the absolute best.

Fuckin' A!

Total organic shit.

If Miriam comes, I'll grab her by the ears and fuck the shit out of her!

Miriam is a total babe.

At Rata's party she was walking around rubbing her ass up against me, man.

Truth is, she's kind of slutty.

The one I want to nail is Shorty's chick.

She's got these little titties.

She's a total prime babe!

Not inside, man.

Let's go to the tower.

What's the difference? They'll smell it!

Sticky.

A little harsh.

Crons.

It's strong shit. It'll knock you on your ass.

Tenoch! Get down!

How are you, ma'am?

Hi, Mom. Hello, sweetheart.

What's going on? You're acting strange.

Are you boys sad? Must be missing your girlfriends.

Cheer up. Your intense love has clouded your auras.

Just think of them and your hearts will connect.

Julio, are you coming to Jessica's wedding?

I wouldn't miss it, ma'am.

You have to look very sharp. The president will be there.

Tenoch, get rid of that cigarette.

Evening, ma'am. Your garden totally rules.

Hi, Saba. I didn't know you were here.

I'm everywhere.

That night, Julio and Tenoch consumed alcohol, marijuana, and Ecstasy imported from San Francisco and failed in their strategies for sexual conquest.

They feared that this failure would set the tone for the rest of the summer.

At 4:00 a.m., Julio threw up in the street.

Around 5:00, Tenoch smashed a headlight as he pulled into his driveway.

That same night, Saba had his first experience with group sex.

A week went by, and boredom became their daily routine.

Tenoch's father was a majority shareholder of a country club, so his son had access to the facilities on Mondays, when the club was closed for maintenance.

One, two, three!


You're too eager to beat me. You use up your air right away.

Like you're the pro. You beat me by two yards.

Two? Ten at least!

Four max. Let's call it eight.

You're full of shit.

I may be full of shit, but you've got one ugly dick!

Looks like a deflated balloon.

So blow it up, asshole!

Back off, faggot!

Come on, blow up the balloon!

Six, seven... eight, nine, ten, eleven!

There are more bodyguards than guests!

Count 'em! The Comonforts brought three, the Guerreros three... Don't point. two for my dad's boss, and a shitload for the president.

Don't forget Herminio. He's my driver!

He still packs a gun, man.

Smart move, sir. Your son's already plastered.

Dad, I already said hi to the president.

The Gonzalez kids are looking for you.

Be nice to them, please.

They're always very nice to you.

Okay, Dad.

The Gonzalez kids! Remember that fat girl?

How are you, sweet pea? It's been ages.

What a bunch of assholes, right? Whatever you say, sir.

A rum and Coke, light on the Coke.

You remember your cousin? He wants to be a writer too.

I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do.

Cheers!

The old bag!

Last time I saw you, you were a little kid bawling because you wanted a Ninja Turtle.

A Thunder Cat. Excuse me. A Thunder Cat.

So you want to be a writer?

And tell stories about rich brats?

No, about assholes like you.

It's one thing to write preppy stories.

It's another to create literature.

So when do you start? Did you read my book?

I read the reviews. Critics are assholes.

Alejandro Montes de Oca ‒ "Jano" ‒ was the nephew of Tenoch's mother.

His father died when he was three, leaving him in his mother's suffocating care, which he finally escaped by going abroad for a graduate degree.

He was now back after 10 years.

Give it some serious thought. You really want to be a writer?

Anyone can put words on paper, but it takes a lifetime to become a writer.

This is my cousin, the writer.

It's not just about discipline and technique.

You have to create your own style.

And for that you need life experience.

Honestly, what do you know about life?

Yeah, what do you know?

Little bastards!

We're sorry.

I'd like to thank you all for joining us in this humble celebration, and in particular, the president of our country and his lovely wife, who took time from a busy schedule to share in this special moment for Jessica and Francisco Javier.

Your presence here today is testimony to your great modesty.

With the permission of all of you, I'd like to wish the bride and groom every happiness.

She's hot!

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Hi. How are you?

Is this boring or what?

Not even a little?

Well, a little.

Where are you from? Madrid. Spain.

Cool! What brings you here?

My husband's in the family.

Which side? The bride's side.

Luisa, you see what they did?

You little prick.

Luisa Cortés lost her parents in a car accident when she was 10.

She was raised by her great-aunt, a spinster and Franco supporter who later fell ill and was in Luisa's care for the last five years of her life.

Luisa lived with her until she was 20, when she married Jano.

A few months later, her aunt died ‒ Luisa's last living relative.

What happened? It was those two brats!

You can't meet the president like this.

Salt will take it ‒ I'll meet him some other time.

No, we'll find you another suit. A little... salt...

Luisa, take this.

Careful! And keep an eye on my mother.

Hey, is that your husband?

Yes. Why? He's my cousin.

What's your name? Tenoch.

You're little Tenoch?

I met you when I visited years ago. You were a tiny thing, bawling because you wanted a Thunder Cat.

You have a good memory. Cigarette?

Thanks. You're quite the grown man now.

Thank you.

So... uh... how long have you been here?

About a month.

Jano's teaching at the university starting in September.

You two plan on doing any traveling?

Jano's leaving for a symposium while I get us settled in and do a few job interviews.

But if there's time, I hope to get to the beach. And you?

We're going to the beach.

Puerto Escondido, right? Jano's told me about it.

No, that place sucks.

It's all yuppie backpackers and wanna-be surfers.

We go to a place only the local fishermen know.

What's it called?

Uh... Heaven's ‒ what is it? Mouth?

Heaven's Mouth! Totally.

It's like paradise. Better than paradise!

It's a slice of heaven here on earth.

A tropical heaven!

A slice of heaven right here on earth!

Putting down roots in the earth!

She should come along.

Sure. Why don't you come?

Me? You'd take me along?

Of course. Is there somewhere to sleep?

Somewhere to sleep?

Just the silky warm sand beneath a starry sky.

There are coconuts to drink from, but we'll bring some 40s. What's that?

Big bottles of beer.

Jano will love it.

The mariachis.

The president left an hour later.

He had an urgent meeting with the leaders of his party to appoint candidates for upcoming elections.

The next day... he would express his outrage at the Cerro Verde massacre and deny that the state governor had been involved in any way.

After offering condolences to the victims' relatives, he would fly to Seattle for a world summit on globalization.

The days passed, and while Jano was away at his symposium, Luisa went to the doctor for some test results.

In the waiting room she took a magazine quiz entitled...

"Are You a Fully Realized Woman?"

It was multiple choice. For Question 1 she chose B:

"I prefer to be awake rather than sleeping or dreaming."

For Question 4 she chose C:

"I value time more highly than money or power."

For Question 7, she chose A:

"I think more about the present than the past or the future."

She scored 16 points.

The magazine rated her as "a woman afraid to claim her freedom."

Luisa didn't agree.

Think about Conchita's titties, those hard nipples.

Nice!

Mayela's pussy, man... all wet and hairy.

Your girlfriend's mom. Shut up!

That art teacher.

Miss Georgina.

She never wore panties.

Salma Hayek, man.

Yeah, Salmita!

Your cousin, man.

What cousin?

The Spanish chick!


Hello?

Hello?

Love?

Jano?

Are you all right?

I'm so drunk.

Then go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?

I'll be back in two days.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

I'm an asshole!

I'm such a piece of shit!

Jano, go to bed. You're drunk.

I'm such a shit!

Calm down. What's wrong?

Are you okay, darling?

I slept with another woman.

What?

I tell you, I'm a piece of shit!

Why are you telling me this?

I love you so fucking much.

Why are you telling me this?


Here's your sandwich, sweetie, with your favorite cheese.

Thanks, Leo.

One moment, please.

It's for you.

Hello? Tenoch? It's Luisa.

Who? Luisa, from Spain.

Yeah, right. How are you?

I'm glad I caught you, since you said you were leaving today.

Leaving? For Heaven's Mouth.

Oh, right. We're leaving this afternoon.

And you're all ready?

We're getting ready right now.

I was wondering...

is the invitation still open?

Hello? It's just that...

I guess not. That's okay. Never mind.

Wait ‒ yes, it is!

No, I don't want to bother you.

No bother at all.

Just tell us where to pick you up.

I live at 52 Machu Picchu Street, Apartment 3D.

Still asleep, you lazy fuck?

Yeah, I was up till 3:00 watching videos.

Get your ass in gear. We're going to the beach.

What beach? Heaven's Mouth.

There's no such place, man!

I know, but Luisa wants to go.

Luisa who? The Spaniard.

You shittin' me?

No way. Can you get the car?

It'll never make it.

The radiator's fucked, and the battery too.

Plus it's my sister's turn to use it. Let's take yours.

My dad took it away

'cause I broke the headlight and I won't take economics.

What a prick.

Julio Zapata lived with his mother and sister.

He hadn't seen his father since he was five.

His mother had worked all her life as a secretary in a multinational corporation.

His sister, Manuela, was a political science major at the National University of Mexico.

After tense negotiations, she agreed to let Julio use the car for five days.

Then she would have it for three weeks so she and her friends could deliver food, clothing, and medicine in Chiapas.

Beer! Brewskis!

Condoms!

Where's your size? In the deli, with the giant salamis.

Once you pass Puebla, get off the toll road.

The landscape is awesome.

Got it.

Then follow this road.

That's no road, asshole! It's a river!

You're sending us to Veracruz!

Where is it, man?

Take the road to Oaxaca, but keep your eyes peeled for checkpoints.

Stuff your stash where they can't find it, and drive like a little old lady.

Saba, we're in a hurry!

It's a total trip, man!

You pass this shack with this massive Coke bottle on top.

Remember I told you?

Saba, then what?

What?

The beach, asshole!

That's what I'm saying!

Take the dirt road on the right all the way to the end, and there it is.

Yes?

I'll be right down.


Stop it.

Hey, don't kick my car!

So what do you do?

What do I look like?

A sociologist. Cold.

Philosopher?

Cold.

Psychologist? You think?

A Victoria's Secret model? Freezing!

We give up.

I'm a certified dental technician.

What's that?

They suck out your drool at the dentist's.

Right? Yes.

Why'd you pick that? It wasn't my fantasy, okay?

Believe me, when I played with dolls, I didn't pretend to suck out their drool.

Then why? I was living with my aunt.

When I was 16, she got very sick, and I had to find work fast.

In four months I had a dental technician's certificate.

But what did you really want to do?

I never did very well in school.

The one thing I always wanted to do was travel and see the world.

Yeah, taking trips is awesome.

On acid, maybe. You've never been on a plane!

I have too! Three times.

You really thought I was a philosopher?

You look like a thinker.

And you're married to Jano.

Luisa often accompanied Jano to dinners with his artistic and intellectual friends, but she never felt very comfortable.

There was always someone, perhaps well-meaning, perhaps not, who would press Luisa for an opinion during their discussions.

She always replied modestly, "I don't know anything about these things."

She often thought about challenging the guests to see if any of them could name every tooth in the right order.

She never dared.

Hey, Charolastra, pass the munchies.

Charo what? Charolastra.

"Charo" is kind of a Mexican cowboy, so it's something like "astral cowboy."

Actually, Daniel didn't understand the lyrics to an English song that went...

Charolastra, charolo

But it was really Saba who came up with it while on mushrooms.

So Daniel and Saba are Charolastras too?

Yeah, but lately Saba's gotten way into altered states and expanding his consciousness.

You mean mysticism? No, drugs.

He's turning into a pain.

And we hardly ever see Daniel since he came out of the closet.

Does that bother you?

No, he's just into other scenes now.

But he's still in the club.

There's Pecas too, but she's just an honorary member, because of her totally sucky boyfriends.

She wouldn't sign our manifesto. You have a manifesto?

Sure. What's it say?

No, top secret. I won't tell anyone.

No, my lips are sealed. We'd have to kill you.

"One: There's no greater honor than being a Charolastra.

Two: Do whatever the fuck you feel like.

Three: Pop beats poetry.

Four: Getting high once a day keeps the doctor away."

That was Saba's idea.

"Five: Thou shalt not screw another Charolastra's girl.

Six: Team América is for fags.

Seven: Whacking off rules.

Eight: Never marry a virgin.

Nine: Team América is ‒"

You said that. It bears repeating.

It's for fags. It's a crappy team.

"Ten: Truth is cool, but unattainable." What?

It means truth is totally amazing, but fuck if you can ever reach it.

"And eleven:

The asshole who breaks any of the above rules forfeits the title of 'Charolastra."'

You should share your manifesto with the government.

No, politicians are assholes.

Julio and Tenoch told Luisa lots of other stories.

Each one reaffirmed the strong ties uniting them, the bond that created a solid, indivisible entity.

Their stories, though adorned by personal mythologies, were the truth.

But as always happens, it was a partial truth.

Much was omitted, such as how Julio lit matches to hide the smell after using the bathroom at Tenoch's house.

Or how Tenoch used his foot to lift the toilet seat at Julio's house.

Those were details they didn't need to know about each other.

Do you have girlfriends?

Yes. Ceci. Ana Bananas.

Bananas? Where are they now?

Traveling around Europe. They're best friends.

Where in Europe? Mostly around Italy.

Lucky girls. Yeah, they say it's awesome.

That's not why. Why?

Why do you think girls go to Italy?

The clothes? For a vacation.

The guys! Italian men are sexy.

No, you don't know our chicks. Fuckin' right!

Ceci would never cheat on me.

She wanted to tattoo my name on her right tit, but her mother said no.

I popped Ana's cherry. I'm the only guy she wants.

Glad to hear it.

Your girls are lucky to have such cool boyfriends.

And are Charolastras faithful?

Absolutely.

As it should be, right?

Have you ever cheated on Jano?

Me, be unfaithful? Please!

Listen, I'm starving. Yeah, they're coming.

Has he ever cheated on you?

Jano has always needed affirmation.

Seriously? Get some beers.

One for me too. Where did you meet him?

In a bar in Madrid.

I bet he was wasted, talkin' a lot of shit.

No, it was me who was wasted.

Me and my girlfriends. Really?

So what happened?

I saw this sharp-looking guy, full of attitude.

I guess I fell for his cute Mexican accent.

No, no. I have change.

What did you see in him?

I don't know.

We have a lot in common.

Like what?

Well, like... he has no father, and I'm an orphan.

His mother is really overbearing, just like my aunt was.

Those five years I took care of her were awful. Poor woman.

Only Jano was at my side through thick and thin.

Anyway, cheers. Cheers.

Good evening. What would you like?


Thanks. See you in the morning.

Shit! You get the smaller one.

How 'bout a joint? Coming right up.

Hey, you think Ana and Ceci are fucking any Italians?

No way, man.

There's piss all over in here.

They're not, right? Nah.

Italians are fags anyway.

Totally.

Think your cousin wants to get laid?

Seems Jano's been cheating on her big-time.

We oughta try to ease her pain, put a smile back on her face.

Let's go. Where?


Hey, guys!

Coming.

You still in bed?

Come on, let's get to the beach.

Come on, lazy shit.

Julio, the beach.

Now?

Nice! Our daily early-bird special.

Can you guys drive stoned? Sure.

You won't even feel the curves.

It's been so long. You'll be flying like the Concorde.

It's potent monkey shit.

Pretty tasty for monkey shit.

Sticky.

You smoke a lot? Now and then. You?

Not usually. A joint and a beer...

Tenoch realized he'd never visited Tepelmeme, the birthplace of Leodegaria Victoria ‒ Leo, his nanny ‒ who migrated to Mexico City when she was 13.

She found work with Tenoch's family and had cared for him since he was born.

He called her "Mommy" until he was four.

Tenoch didn't share this with the others.

Give me another hit.

There's plenty for everyone.

I saw you guys last night. What?

You know what I'm talking about. No, what?

You think it's cool to spy on women in their hotel rooms?

It was his idea. Is that right?

And you just went along?

Did you hope to see me naked? No way.

See me naked and go whack off.

How can you say that?

Tell me something.

Have you made love to many girls besides your girlfriends?

A few. Bullshit!

He's only fucked his chick.

You're wrong, asshole. Who else?

Flavia.

That's bullshit!

You blew your load putting on the condom!

You told me so yourself.

A donation for our queen?

What about you, Tenoch? What?

Have you made love with other girls?

Two or three.

Two or three skanks. "Skanks"?

Whores. You sleep with whores?

Your queen is beautiful!

I don't sleep with whores.

You do too! You're a whore-chaser!

Did you fuck many guys before you met Jano?

I started late and met Jano very early on.

So you were a virgin?

No, I had a boyfriend before him.

And he was rammin' you hard, right?

Actually, yes. Really?

The first time, he took me to a factory where his uncle worked as a security guard.

I was so scared. I barely knew him.

I thought he wanted to kiss me... but he deflowered me.

It hurt so bad! I told myself I'd never do it again.

But every time we got together, we'd go at it like rabbits.

I thought he just wanted sex.

Don't tell me ‒ he wanted to talk too?

He really fell in love with me. Of course.

He'd pick me up from school every day on his motorcycle, in his leather jacket.

How original!

I loved it.

I'd always play hooky.

Hooky?

That too!

No, "playing hooky" means cutting class.

I just wanted to be with him.

We'd go to amazing spots and cruise around on his motorcycle.

We planned to go to the French Riviera.

Me too.

A friend had found him work there as a waiter.

We had everything packed and ready.

He had a ponytail, a broken tooth, and an earring in his right ear.

I was so in love with him.

So in love.

Then Jano came along and stole you.

No. So what happened?

He was killed in a bike accident.

Shit.

He was 17.

If they'd passed that same spot 10 years earlier, they'd have come across some cages scattered in the road... and then driven through a cloud of white feathers.

Five yards further on, a pile of broken cages filled with bleeding chickens flapping their wings.

Then an overturned truck, still smoldering.

Just beyond that, two lifeless bodies in the road, one smaller than the other, barely covered by a jacket, and next to them, a woman crying inconsolably.

Give me another cigarette.


Don't! This song rules! The batteries are dead.

Turn the radio on.

Shit. Hide the stash.

It's cool, man.

Don't look at them.

Jeez, they got busted.

Don't turn around!


What's up?

Good heavens! Your friend woke up too.

It's the heat.

You got a woody?

And how! That little weenie?

It's only a quarter inch shorter than yours.

A quarter inch?

Dream on!

You measured them? Yeah. But his is butt-ugly.

How so? It's got a freakin' hood.

A hood ‒ yummy! You see?

The dude's got an ugly one.

How do you make love to your girlfriends?

Super suave. Passionately.

With a twist. A twist?

A twist... of the hips.

But how do you turn them on?

First a little foreplay to heat up the oven.

Some kisses on the titties, a few love bites.

And then?

Then I ram it in all the way.

What else?

I bang her till she begs for mercy.

Is that it? Is that it!

Ceci twists and moans like an oyster in lime juice.

Ana cries. Poor thing!

I mean from pleasure. Oh, I'm sure.

Missionary position, or what?

Missionary, doggie-style, everything.

Ana likes to be on top. We do it sitting up too.

Even 69.

The whole Kama Sutra.

I know every trick.

You ever wiggle your finger... up her ass? Her ass?


No way!

It has to come from San Rafael.

When will it be ready? Maybe tomorrow.

No, but thank you very much.

Cool hat. Yes, it's a nice one.

You can have it.

Really? You're giving it to me?

Thanks.

Your coconut.

Thank you.


That's my name.

Luisita.

Pretty name.

Hi, Jano. I know you're not back until tomorrow.

I'm calling because I didn't leave a note. Maybe I meant to worry you.

I wanted to vanish from your life with no warning, but now I realize that that's not right.

So this is my note, though I honestly don't know what to say.

I met a woman today named Doña Martina.

She's 98, and she remembers everything since she was five.

Imagine everything she's experienced... and everything a person never gets to experience.

Your mother sent the mousse you like. It's in the fridge.

Be sure to pay the phone bill. I left it on your desk.

And pick up your shirts from the cleaners.

But don't go to them anymore. They ruin the clothes.

Anyway... take care of yourself.

See you later.

Hand me some shampoo, man.

Please.


Oh, sorry.

It's all right. Come in.

Are you okay? Yeah.

It must be the heat and the long drive.

I came to see if you had any shampoo.

You got any?

Take off the towel.

What?

Take it off.

The towel? Yes, the towel.

Take it off, Tenoch.

No, don't cover up.

You get excited quickly, huh?

I guess.

You lied. It curves to the left.

What?

You said it curved right, but it curves left.

It's just like I imagined.

Why don't you jerk off?

Jerk off? Here?

That's right. Jerk off.

Want me to help you?

Want to see my tits? Yes.

Only if you touch yourself.

Come here.

Closer.


I'm all wet. You want to feel it?

Feel me.

Eat me out, Tenoch.

Tenoch, take my panties off first.

No, come here.


¡Mamacita!

I'm sorry.

It's all right. Don't worry.


Julio couldn't understand what he was feeling.

He knew it wasn't rage.

The only other time he'd felt this pain in his gut was when he was eight, when he woke up thirsty one night and on his way to the kitchen saw his mother in the living room in his godfather's arms.

Julio had walked away quietly and never mentioned the incident to anyone.

What's up, dude?

Not much.

Feel like racing?

No, it's full of leaves.

We can clean 'em out in no time.

Let's go.


You let me win, asshole.

There was no reason to.

I fucked Ana.

What?

You heard me. I fucked your girlfriend.

Tenoch had only felt this pain in his gut when he was 11, when he saw his father's picture in an article linking him to a scandal involving the sale of contaminated corn to the poor.

Tenoch and his family moved to Vancouver for eight months.

He never asked why.

No one told Luisa about Julio's confession, but over dinner she could feel the tension between the two friends.

She sensed that her transgression had disrupted a natural balance that only she could restore.

Good night.

Good night, Tenoch.

What's up? Weren't you gonna sleep with Luisa?

Fuck off.


How many times did you fuck her?

Just once. We were really wasted.

When? Forget about it.

Tell me when.

I don't know.

How could you not know, asshole?

When you went to Lake Tahoe.

Where was Cecilia?

Sick.

Where did you do it? Her house? No.

Then where?

I think it was at a party. What party, asshole?

I don't know.

I think the party at Fruit Loop's place.

You mean when Saba kicked his ass?

I think so.

What are you laughing about, fucker? About Saba.

Stop laughing, faggot!

Who started it?

Both of us. We were shit-faced, man.

Where'd you do it?

In his little sister's room.

What was Ana wearing?

Christ, I don't remember!

Skirt or pants?

What panties was she wearing? What?

What panties, asshole! White ones.

Did she blow you, you pig? Of course not!

Look me in the eyes! Did she blow you?

Did you eat her out? Of course not!

Did she come?

How would I know? It all happened so fast.

Did she like it? How should I know?

Did you like it, asshole? No, man.

I felt like shit, I swear!

I wanted to tell you.

Go to hell, fucker!

You fucked our friendship!

You fucked my trust!

You fucked my girl, asshole! You fucked me!

What a sap I was, bringing you fuckin' comics from Lake Tahoe, and a dress for that fuckin' slut!

That's really fucked up.

Tenoch...

I'm sorry, man.

It was an accident.

An accident?

You poke a girl in the eye by accident!

You don't fuck her by accident!

You don't fuck her!

It went on like that all night.

Tenoch sought out every possible detail as he tried to put together a puzzle from pieces that didn't always fit... while Julio twisted those details to create a less painful truth.

Doña Martina gave Luisa the figure of the mouse with her name on it.

She told her it had belonged to her granddaughter, Luisa Obregón, who'd died of a heat stroke crossing the Arizona border with her parents in search of a better life.

Luisa felt that even after people die, they're still present.

She wondered how long she would live on in the memory of others.

But she preferred not to fill her mind with thoughts of death.

Julio, looks like the heat got you a little excited too.

Yeah.

The heat...

Hey ‒ what are you ‒ where are you going?

This is your seat. How about introducing me?

You shouldn't do that, Luisa.

Tenoch, the same thing would have happened if Julio had come to my room.

What a sap I am! You think I'm your chauffeur?

Go fuck yourselves!

Take it easy!

Fucking pigs!

Relax.

Let me.


My sneakers. What?

Take them off.

Careful.

My panties.

Give it to me, Julio.

Feel me. Go slow.

Look at me.

Wait.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.


Don't sulk like this.

Isn't that what you two wanted from the start?

Wasn't that your plan?

To take me away on a trip and fuck me?

Wasn't that it?

Well, then?

I'm such an idiot.

You know what I should've done?

Not slept with either of you.

I never meant to hurt anybody.

You believe me?

Forgive me, okay? Yes.

Let's go.

Me too. You too what?

Me too, faggot.

You too what?

I fucked your girlfriend, Ceci.

You did not.

When? After the Plastilina Mosh concert.

Motherfucker!

That's why you dropped me off first?

Where? At my house.

Your house? In my room.

She had flowered panties on. You slept with his girlfriend?

That asshole fucked mine!

What about number three?

Your manifesto, not to screw each other's girlfriend.

That's number five!

Get out!

Out of the car, fucker! We're gonna have this out!

Open up, faggot! Cool it, guys!

That's classic! Low-class trash!

This low-class trash is gonna rip your head off!

Blow me, man.

Fuckin' yuppie! Go to hell!

Stay out of this!

You can go fuck yourselves! I'm such an idiot!

I thought you'd be different, but you're animals!

Your manifesto is a bunch of bullshit!

You break your own rules!

Typical men! Fighting like dogs and marking your territory when all you really want is to fuck each other!

Who cares who you fucked when you both come in 10 seconds!

What the hell was I thinking?

Play with babies and you end up washing diapers!

You see, man?

Get out here!

She's leaving. You're the one who pushed her!

How could you fuck my Ceci?

That fucking slut!

Now we're even.

Even, my ass!

Kneel down and beg forgiveness like you made me do last night!

Okay, I'm sorry. On your knees, asshole!

Let it go, man. She's gonna catch a ride.

I know. So hurry up!

Move back.

If you want me to get out, move back.

Further back! I'm not gonna touch you.

Okay, I'm sorry. On both knees.

I'm sorry. Sorry for what?

I'm sorry for fucking your girlfriend, okay?

Okay what? Come on. She's getting away.

How many times? Once. What do you think I am?

Let's get this straight. We'll go to the beach, but your friendship means shit to me!

Same here, man. Fuck you!

Luisa, that's enough now. Get in.

Kiss my ass! I'm catching a bus to Puerto Escondido.

To hell with you and your Heaven's Mouth.

You gotta come with us.

So you can fight like dogs? No, thanks.

We promise we won't fight. We swear!

I don't want to be on a deserted beach with a pair of assholes.

We admit we fucked up. We'll do whatever you want.

You call the shots. We're almost there!

We're really close! Come on, get in.

If I come, we do things my way.

One more fight and I'm gone for good.

Anything you say.

I'm laying down my own rules.

I'll make my own manifesto! You crossed the line, Julio.

One: I'm not fucking either of you.

You can fuck each other if you want.

Two: I'm going to sunbathe nude, and I don't want you sniffing around like dogs.

Three: I pick the music.

Four: The moment I ask, kindly shut your traps.

Five: You two cook.

Six: Not another word about your poor girlfriends.

Seven: If I ask... you're to stay 10 yards away. Or 100, if I prefer.

Eight: Obviously, you do all the manual labor.

Nine: No discussing things you don't agree on.

Better yet, just keep your mouths shut.

And ten: You're not allowed to contradict me, much less push me!

Julio and Tenoch clearly had no idea where they were or how to get somewhere they'd never been.

Saba's directions contradicted each other.

Fearing that Luisa would catch on, Julio turned right onto a dirt road.


Julio and Tenoch thought Luisa was asleep.

They didn't know that fear kept her awake, a fear that had nothing to do with the darkness or the surroundings.


Fried fish!

Ceviche! Beer!

Jesús Carranza, better known as Chuy, and his wife Mabel were the fourth generation of a family of fishermen.

They lived nearby in the village of San Bernabé.

Chuy offered to give them a tour of neighboring beaches the next day.

He would charge them 350 pesos, including food.

Chuy, let me steer. No.

I know what I'm doing, man. Okay.

Just don't go too fast.

Hey! Great swimming beach.

What's it called? Heaven's Mouth.

All right!

Lucero, leave the lady alone!

It's okay. She's teaching me how to swim.

Let me help you. It's okay. I got it.

Go swim with your buddy. He's all alone.

The water's nice and warm.

Let's see you float like a corpse.

She's really dead! Look at Lucero!

He's a crybaby.

He whines all night and wakes up Mommy.

He only stops crying when I hold him.

He just likes being with his pretty sister.

She looks just like you, Mabel. The exact same eyes.

You should have children, ma'am. You're so good with them.

And you're just the right age.

He fell asleep. What do I do?

Ramón passes, Zepeda charges down the sideline, and the stadium goes wild!

The Emperor steals it. What a player!

Still waiting for the guest of honor ‒ the goal.

Shoot, damn it!

It's a pass to Cuauhtémoc.

He approaches the goal.

He shoots!

What a save!

Campos!

That's why he's on the national team!

What?

Don't you like Campos?

You ever wish you could live forever?

Sure.

Totally.

Wouldn't it be great?

At the end of the year, Chuy and family will have to leave their home to make way for the construction of an exclusive hotel on the communal land of San Bernabé.

They'll relocate to the outskirts of Santa María Colotepec.

Chuy will attempt to give boat tours, but a collective of Acapulco boatmen supported by the local tourism board will block his plans.

Two years later, he'll end up as a janitor at the hotel.

He'll never fish again.

Holy shit.

What the fuck!

Chuy, step on it!

Get the fuck outta here!

It's shitting in the tent!

Not that way! This way!

It's shitting in there!

Get out, fucker!

You're throwing shit at me!

Get outta here!

The pigs rendered the campground uninhabitable.

Julio and Tenoch decided to spend the night in San Bernabé, where Chuy had offered them a room with electricity and water for 75 pesos.

Luisa looked forward to a shower, even if it was a cold one.

They would come back the next day to strike the camp.

The 23 pigs had escaped from a nearby ranch.

Over the next two months, 14 would be slaughtered.

Three of those would cause an outbreak of trichinosis among attendees at a festival in the village of El Chavarín.

Stop spinning 'em, man.

Jano, tell your mother whatever you want.

Let me talk or I'll hang up, all right?

Thank you.

I was going to leave anyway.

Your call just made it easier, and I thank you for that.

This isn't about revenge.

I always knew about your affairs.

Carmen at El Escorial, and that girl from Barcelona.

I knew all about them.

I just hoped you'd change, that's all.

My decision has nothing to do with that, believe me.

I can't explain it now, but you'll understand soon.

No, don't blame yourself, or me.

You may not believe it, but no one's to blame.

Of course I don't hate you!

And please don't hate me.

Jano, listen to me!

I called to tell you that I love you, and that you were my whole life.

I don't expect this to be a happy farewell, but let's make it a tender one at least.

Jano, calm down. Don't be like that.

Listen... did you notice I took much less than my share of the money?

No, I have plenty.

I left my keys in the kitchen, with the spare set.

Don't lose the key to the roof. It's the only one.

I took your T-shirts from Ibiza.

You know I love to sleep in them.

Anyway, I just hope you learn to be happy.

I am now.

Take care of yourself. I'm hanging up now. Bye.


I really am indebted to all of Jano's mistresses.

You know how I knew?

He'd try things on me in bed that he'd learned from them.

You can tell these things.

Like the finger up the ass? Exactly.

But you have to do it delicately, with finesse.

You don't just jam it up there.

Jano was a master of finesse.

To the master of finesse! To Jano!

To Jano, wherever he may be.

You know, I'm really glad I met you guys.

I mean it. Sometimes you're complete assholes, but basically you're pretty cool dudes.

Fuckin' right!

And you're so lucky to live in a country like this.

It breathes with life! It's awesome!

To Mexico! To magical, musical Mexico!

Hey, are you friends again?

No way!

Come on. Make up.

So I'm low-class trash, asshole?

Totally! That loogie you hocked at the window!

Fuck you. It's my car.

And I'm a yuppie? Okay, a preppie.

But you love visiting my houses, you social climber!

Only to get a taste of what your old man steals!

Isn't your dad an honest man?

Yeah, right!

You idiots! You're friends again now.

To the Charolastras!

Beer, anyone? Yeah, but ice-cold.

Of course!

Luisa... What?

I'm sorry I pushed you.

Julio, you crossed the line!

I know. Give me a kiss.

Forgiven.

Luisa, the absolute truth now:

Which of us fucks better?

You make me laugh.

You're both disasters, but each has his charms.

But who made you feel better?

Here's how Julio comes:

¡Mamacita, mamacita!

And Julio, you cross your eyes.

You both have to quit whacking off and work up your endurance.

I bet he came quicker than me! No more whacking off.

No way! What about number seven in our manifesto?

Take it out.

Chuy, nothing like tooting the old horn, eh?

To spanking the monkey!

No, not until you learn how to fuck properly.

While we're on the subject... these boys don't know how to go down on a girl.

I never got the chance!

I'm sure you're as clueless as he is.

You were slurping like it was some kind of lollipop.

You have to be very gentle.

You have to make the clitoris your best friend.

What kind of friend is always hiding?

He who seeks shall find.

The greatest pleasure is giving pleasure.

Absolutely. Hail the clit!

To the clitoris!

The god's-honest truth now. I mean it.

Swear you'll tell me the truth. I swear.

Did Ceci blow you?

The god's-honest truth?

She bites a little, huh?

She did blow you!

Does Ana bite too? No, she gives great head.

You said she didn't blow you! Just the tip, man.

She missed the main course.

Chuy, don't blow jobs rule?

To blow jobs!

Since we're spilling our guts here...

I actually fucked Ceci a couple times.

No big deal. I poked Ana a bunch of times.

Yuck! I've been stirring your cream! Same here!

That makes us cum brothers, man!

Those poor girls! I feel so sorry for them.

Chuy, this asshole fucked my chick, but he comes lickety-split.

To your girlfriends, who are probably fucking 10 Italians at a time!

You're on!

To Luigi! To Tiberio!

You got any change? Who wants the worm?

I'll take it.

Listen, Tenoch... and your mom too.

Are you shitting me?

For real. The day she cleaned my aura.

Are you serious?

Totally!

A toast to forgiveness, dude.

Luisa, to mothers!

Who sings "La Sandunga"?

Camilo Sesto!

Never mind. Give me a number and a letter.

Number 13.

The letter B. B-13.


Past Heaven's Mouth you'll find Palicata Bay and the beaches of Chacrita and Santa Rita.

And Chacagua.

Beautiful names. Do they mean anything?

Who knows?


Morning, sleepyhead.

Want some eggs?

A little shrimp soup? Please, and a beer.

A little hair of the dog.

I gotta get going. I promised my sister the car.

That's fine.

What's that beach again? Chacagua.

Is there anything beyond Chacagua?

Amaranto, and Playa de Oro beach.

It's open sea, with huge waves. Lots of people drown there.

But the sunsets are beautiful.

Another shrimp soup, Mabel. No, thanks.

I better get going. My folks will start to worry.

Julio has to get the car back to his sister too.

I'm going to stay a few more days.

They're going to show me some beautiful beaches.

I'm hungry, Mom. Here.


At 1:00 p.m., Julio and Tenoch began their trip back home.

It was a very quiet and uneventful trip.

Their families never found out about the trip to the beach with Luisa.

She stayed behind to begin her exploration of the local coves the next day.

When they said good-bye, she told Tenoch and Julio, "Life is like the foam, so give yourself away like the sea."

After returning from Europe, Ana and Cecilia broke up with Tenoch and Julio.

Two months later, Tenoch started dating his neighbor.

It was nine months before Julio started dating a girl from his French class.

Julio and Tenoch stopped seeing each other.

The following summer, the ruling party lost the presidential election for the first time in 71 years.

Julio ran into Tenoch on the way to the dentist.

Going for a cup of coffee was less awkward than making excuses to avoid it.

Have you seen Saba?

No, but he's living in Real de Catorce.

Cool. Good for him.

And Daniel? Total queen at this point.

His dad kicked him out.

Shit. That sucks.

No, he's super happy, man. Got a boyfriend and everything.

Then... that's cool.

I got into the university. Cool. When do you start?

September. Economics?

Yeah. And you?

Biology. I start next week.

That sucks. Public universities start earlier.

Did you hear about Luisa?

What?

She died. No way.

Anything else, guys? No, thanks.

How? Cancer.

She had it all over.

Right there in San Bernabé, a month after we left.

Chuy called Jano, and that was that.

Shit. That's terrible.

She knew all along she was going to die.

She didn't want anyone to know.

Luisa spent her last four days in the hospital in Santa María Colotepec.

At her request, Chuy and Mabel never mentioned her adventure with Tenoch and Julio.

Before she died, she gave Lucero the little stuffed mouse named Luisa.

Tenoch excused himself.

His girlfriend was waiting to go to the movies.

Julio insisted on paying the check.

They will never meet again.

See you around? Sure.

Check, please.